I am getting married next year (we think)…we have only been engaged for 2 weeks and already I am feeling stressed and under pressure!
The main problem is I have a lot of family…my parents are divorced and have re-married and my mother divorced again….so you can see the headache!!
My fiancé hates wedding stuff and also hates a fuss (also he has been married before and had quite a big wedding) however me – Miss ONLY CHILD… dreamed of this day FOREVER (!) is the opposite!!
So the compromise…hence writing this e-mail…is to have a destination wedding possibly in Tuscany. I have looked online and I just don’t know where to start. We love the idea of a reception in a private villa eating outside with candles and lots of red wine but at the same time do we really want to stay in a villa with all of my many parents. (I have a Mom, step Mom, Dad, step Dad. Then my Mom has a boyfriend and my step Dad has a girl friend-my fiancé is a bit boring and just has a Mom and Dad )
Plus we have lots of wonderful friends who would be up for an Italian adventure…please help me….please
Another Jenny xx
Hi Jenny (do we have a lovely common name, or what?)
Cor if you’re feeling stressed now, how will you feel in the final few weeks? Ask yourself what you want from your wedding, to have the big white wedding, or to be married to the man you love? I was never one of those girls who planned and dreamed of their big day from childhood, so I can’t relate to that at all, what I can relate to is the stress of having a difficult family, and of trying to please everyone (which won’t happen, no matter what you do someone will get the hump).
You will still have stresses involved in planning a destination wedding, but they will be different stresses, and it will still be a most wonderful day, with the most wonderful memories.
It’s so so easy to get caught up in the details. I know we are a wedding blog here at Rock My Wedding, but we are more than that. Yes we showcase the details, and the glorious photos, but it always has, and always will be, about doing it your way, and about remembering what it is all about. And that’s (for fear of sounding cheesy) about love and togetherness. It’s about starting a marriage, and you should feel free to embark upon marriage however you see fit, however it suits you. Don’t feel constrained to adhering to anyone elses wishes, just focus on what you guys want, and if you have to compromise and have a destination wedding, rather than the big white UK wedding then you can still make it your childhood dream come true.
As for Mr Jenny, there are few men who thrive on wedding planning. All he needs to do is turn up, and not end up on a boat to Calais the night before the big day on some crazy Stag do. You will find that almost all duties fall on you to complete, and you might find that the “paying for it” issue becomes source of a few minor disagreements (this is natural, honest) but just have faith in your ability to pull off the wedding of your dreams, and trust that on your wedding day your new husband will be knocked bandy with pride. Never lose sight of what matters, when you feel the stress start to get to you just take a step back and re-focus. Don’t worry about complicated families, who doesn’t have a complicated family these days, right? Our plethora of gorgeous readers will all back me up here and say that the family issue tends to be a main source of stress. But it’s stressful because we care about what they think, and we care about them being involved.
As for your Tuscany wedding, it sounds perfect to me. Find some venues and give them a call. Talk to them. Explain your concerns over your family (trust me, they would have seen it all before) and I promise you they will be able to cater for any situation. When we as women first get engaged our minds go into overdrive, thinking about every possible situation and everything that could go wrong – just try not to over think things. Have trust in a wedding vendor, trust in your decision whatever that may be, and just enjoy the ride.
And should the stress really get to you, I advise having wine by the glass, and girlfriends, and probably some chocolate too. Have some for me whilst you’re at it!
Let me know what you decide to do, and good luck!