Let me start by saying I can only write from personal experience here. I’m not consulting any experts or offering advice as such – I’m just starting what I hope will be a useful and beneficial discussion you lovelies may embark on to make us all feel that little bit more normal about well…..being normal. And by that I mean spending a good majority of the time worrying about what we look like – size/weight in particular.

Firstly I guess I better give you the lowdown on me then eh?

Well I’m maybe what you would class as “petite”, 5″ 4 and a UK size 8. I have a small waist but a bum that sticks out like a shelf. I don’t have any hips ( I would very much like some please – would maybe balance out the shelf-like backside) and a rather long torso in comparison to my short stumpy legs.

I spend most days thinking I should lose a few pounds and picking fault with just about every part of my body. When I was in my late teens/early twenties it was much worse and I would obsess over everything I ate and exercise at any available opportunity. David Lloyd gym was my second home.

There was never a day I would get up in the morning and think “Gee I’m happy with my lot”. I wish there was but sadly….. there wasn’t.

Of course I am now far older and wiser in that I know how much exercise I need to do to keep my weight to what is for me healthy and stable and doesn’t make me want to go on some OTT crash diet (been there done that won’t be doing it again thank you very much). My insecurities also improved when I figured that there wasn’t a lot I could do to change my body shape and started dressing to maximize my assets rather than concentrating on the bits I didn’t like.

However, I have had a major blip in recent years. The worst case of negative-body-image I EVER experienced. And that was the few months run up to W-day. The basis of this post.

I find wedding dress sizing odd – I had to order a “size bigger” than I actually am and even that was a bit on the “tight” side around certain areas. When my fishtail dream arrived at the bridal boutique and I stepped into its silky folds for the first time, the initial words that sprung to mind were not “Gorgeous” or “Stunning” or “James will love this”….it was in fact “Fat“. Yup that’s right, there was little me supposed to be enjoying the whole experience of bride-to-be fashion lovely and all I could think was ” I need to lose some SERIOUS weight”……

So I went home.

I stood in the mirror starkers.

And I really didn’t like what I saw. To be the perfect bride I should be so much thinner…..

That was my naked truth.

The bridal magazine models I avidly scrutinised didn’t help either. Yes I know they are airbrushed within an inch of their life but my aren’t they perfect? The embodiment of what we should all aspire to look like on the Big Day right?

And so I went on a mission. Worked out like a demon, didn’t let anything that contained so much as a spoonful of sugar past my lips.

Was beyond boring.

I was so hell bent on transforming into the most svelte and streamlined version of me that I totally lost a grip on reality and the fact that I was just becoming frankly too thin. I reached the point where my dress didn’t actually fit me anymore and was literally gaping around my back and chest just 3 days before W-day. Luckily my ( very patient) dressmaker could make further last minute adjustments otherwise well……. I really don’t know what I would have done.

I’m lucky in that I don’t think you can tell in my wedding photo’s, there were a few that I looked particularly scrawny and my face looked tired and drawn ( I clearly didn’t chose those for the album or indeed the blog) and don’t even get me started on the Honeymoon snaps – I look like a bony over-muscly gnome.

When I look at those images it makes me sad. Sad that I put myself through that ordeal when I now get to see so many beautiful HAPPY brides grace these very blue polka dot pages in a whole range of shapes and sizes.

Your future husband proposed because he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you and that’s whether you are a size six or a size twenty six, blonde, brunette, redhead, olive skinned or the lightest shade of pale.

I can’t promise that I’ll get out of bed tomorrow and feel a million dollars. But I do want to say this – thanks for being such a lovely bunch of girls and saying such positive things about Rock My Wedding, the RMW team and most importantly to each other. I can safely say that with every new day of blogging I am gradually learning to embrace my no-hips-shelf-bum self.

I may not be model material but my husband loves me for me. Stumpy legs and all

Big celebrating the female form Love

Charlotte xxx

image courtesy of Adam Crohill and Charlotte O’Shea copyright @ Rock My Wedding

Perfect Skin.

It’s what everyone wants right?

I know my quest for a peaches and cream dream has spanned years, years of pointless products, expensive treatments and waste-of-time pill popping in the vain hope that I would one day wake up with the kind of poreless, flawless perfection we see every day in the glossy magazines.

And the point I must make here is this – what you see on the adverts isn’t real. A whole bunch of photo-shopping and airbrushing goes on to make these models look like that, in “real life” they have the same uneven skintone hang-ups and late-night-induced blotches that we do. Fact.

Not that this kind of news makes us feel much better though obviously….

So I thought that with the success and popularity of my recent post detailing the joys of the journey towards a delectable set of straight pearly whites…..the RMW Community could have a similar debate on what makes their epidermis enviable.

What Products The Wife Likes

Now as some of you know Rebecca is a big fan of the Eve Lom regime along with thousands of other suitably decongested ladies around the world. As it happens it didn’t work for me at all – it’s the essential oils, so much as a sniff of lavender/tea tree/citrus etc and my delicate cheeks go red, raw and weepy. Not to mention my eyes – they swell up like a bull frog and my lids turn inside out. Most unattractive.

As a result of all these “organic, natural, full of plant extracts…. so good for your sensitive skin blah blah blah….” type ingredients a lot of these cult favourite celebrity favoured brands are out for this little reactive Blog Queen . ( NB it can’t just be me can it? – any other folks wince at the mere thought of lemongrass?!)

Instead I look for plain, simple not-many-chemicals products that don’t make massive “this will change your life” claims but do the job well and keep my skin relatively healthy and happy.

Things I like A Lot:

Avene – Available nationwide at Boots, I use the clear gel eye-make up remover and when I’m looking particularly lobster-like their anti-redness soothing cream. I also like the water mist spray which sets your make-up and used in place of “toner” removes the last traces of cleanser and grime.

Bioderma – A not-so-secret-anymore favourite of the super sophisticated french ladies and a big player back stage at fancy shmancy fashion shows, their “Crealine H2O” is like THE BEST cleanser for removing make-up and not stripping your skin. As far as I’m aware you can’t by it in the UK so I stock up at the excellent customer service on-line store www.leguidesante.co.uk.

Aveeno – Their oatmeal enriched cream is the only thing I can put near my face on a regular basis, quite thick and goopy in consistency but settles to a pleasing matt finish. I also rate the shower creme/gel and the body oil.

Name And Shame

Not sure how “PC” this is going to be and please PLEASE bear in mind this is only the thoughts of very fair/allergic/reacts at most things me – I’m well aware others of you may LOVE some of these products….

Creme De La Mer Creme – Was like shiny axel grease, didn’t sink in very well, smelled a bit odd and didn’t make a blind bit of difference to justify the hefty £95.00 price tag.

Anything by Decleor – Made my face fall off. Literally. In big sore red-underneath flaky weirdness – I took the whole lot back for a refund.

Anything by Clarins – As per Decleor above. The worst was the facial fake-tanner, colour was FABULOUS…. the reaction wasn’t. Ended up with peculiar bumps across my hairline, nose and chin that didn’t go away for a week. Urgh.

Estee Lauder Resiliance Uplifting Creme – Got BIG TIME sold on this by a very pretty and smooth-skinned sales assistant at Selfridges in Manchester. The only thing uplifting about the results were how much my face puffed up after application. Rubbish. ( NB the very pretty smooth-skinned sales assistant probably used Ponds. Humph.)

Facials And Skin Food

In recent months I haven’t tried that many different facials, I find the experience of someone poking at my face a bit uncomfortable and considering the vast amount of $$$$ you are required to shell out I can never see worthwhile results. A few years back I tried the whole Dermalogica face mapping thing ( pleasant enough but left the salon looking like you could fry chips on my forehead and couldn’t wait to go home and have a wash)…. and various plumping/exfoliating/renewing treatments that promise to make you glow for a week.

What a load of toss.

The only treatment I have ever received and that I go back to again and again in dermabrasion. The general principal is that tiny aluminium crytals are applied to the skin using a vaccum pump that take off the top layer of your grey dull flaky face and leaves the lovely fresh baby skin underneath. Can be a bit scratchy feeling and “hot” the first time you experience it but any pinkness resides after a couple of hours. On me the effects seem to remain for a good few days afterwards and make-up certainly goes on beautifully.

I have “Crystal Clear” dermabrasion at my local salon – if you fancy it make sure you see a qualified therapist and book a consultation first to assess your suitability.

On the basis that what you put inside has an effect on the outside as far as skin vitamin supplements go I have pretty much tried them all, Imadeen, Perfectil, cheaper own brand versions……and the one I go back to again and again ( and now have decided to stick with) is Viridian Ultimate Beauty Complex. I notice an improvement in my nails and hair as well as my skin if I take them daily as recommended.

I buy mine from a local health food store but you can also purchase them on-line at Victoria Health.

Very Cheap Things You Can Easily Do At Home That Actually WORK

I think there are two keys to looking after your skin, keeping it clean and making sure it is exfoliated as no amount of flashy serum/youth evoking moisturiser is going to penetrate through the dull-making dead cells.

There are a few comes-in-a-tube scrubs that I think are OK but actually the only method I find that really works to slough away the nasties is to use a muslin cloth soaked in warm water. I won’t pretend I do this every evening because I don’t ( too lazy, too tired, too forgetful…..) but I do notice a marked difference the next morning if I make the effort before bedtime.

I start by cleansing my skin, then applying the wet cloth with a further blob of cleanser and rub gently in circular motions all over my face – taking care to avoid the delicate eye area. Afterwards I rinse the cloth and repeat the process. I then splash with cold water to close pores and remove any leftover product.

You can pretty much buy muslin cloths anywhere but my favourite by far are the “Bnatural” unbleached organic cotton versions that you can buy two for a fiver at Tesco. You gotta love supermarket chic.

My relatively new and can’t-believe-I-didn’t-know-about-this-sooner trick is an oatmeal mask. Not in anyway glamorous ( When appIied I look like I’m actually wearing my breakfast) but it does somehow make your skin ever so soft and lovely and dare I say a bit clearer.

To make said oatmeal mask just add a bit of water to some fine ground oatmeal ( I buy mine at Sally’s) and sweep all over your face, leave for at least 10 minutes , rinse away et voila – budget beauty at its best.

For more info on other ladies experiences/oat mask making methods go check out this forum on Make-Up Alley.

Jeez Louise I appear to have wittered on quite a bit huh?

Well then lovelies now it’s your turn – tell us what products you hate, what beauty basics you rate and how in preparation for W-day you are going about your mission for that blushing bride peachy skinned perfection.

We want to know EVERY. LAST. DETAIL.

Big I Am A Skincare Junkie Love

Charlotte xxx

Nope. This is not an advice post or me trying to wax lyrical about my experience as a bride…..it’s about your Pearly Whites.

*Cheryl, Cameron and Jessica – flashing their enviable pearls.

Yup that’s right TEETH.

Those essential eating implements that along with your luscious lips create what can be the perfect W-day smile.

Only thing is, there’s a lot of folks out there who don’t look after them, don’t know how to and are even afraid to actually visit the dentist.

Now personally I’ve never been afraid to visit he who wears a lab coat and wields a big scary looking drill, not in the slightest.

And why I hear you ask?

Because he’s my Dad.

Yup that’s right – Daddio is a tooth expert.

And as a result ever since I was just a wee girl I have been OBSESSED with having a perfect set.

Here lies the problem then. Because ironically I was not blessed with anything like Hollywood knashers -I suffered from a small jaw and subsequent over-crowding.

As it happens I don’t think to have lovely teeth you have to necessarily have perfectly straight teeth, a little cross-over here…. a little gap there….. can look cute and kooky. And more importantly look like YOU, I’m certainly not about to get on my soapbox and recommend we all should look like identikit versions of the cast from The Hills.

What I do think is important though is that your teeth are clean, well looked after, not discoloured and you are confident enough to flash them to the world come the Big Day.

General Maintenance

1) Invest in a decent toothbrush and clean for 2 minutes twice a day EVERY day. I use an electric version – (Philips Sonicare) that produces a deep clean and actually times the 120 seconds for you. Every dentist worth his salt will tell you electric is best. Well worth the investment.

2) Floss. This drives me mad – why don’t people floss?! Urgh. There is no other way to remove those tiny morsels of left over cake/biscuit/chinese take-away than to use the appropriate flossing action. EVERY DAY PEOPLE. I use the Oral B satin tape as it has a nice minty aroma.

3) Avoiding the nasties. I’m not going to drone on about the obvious here but just in case anyone has forgotten:

Smoking – Kills. Makes your skin wrinkly and your teeth yellow. Why on earth would you bother?

Red Wine/Coffee/Tea – Should be consumed in moderation as lends a distinctive grey tinge to your grin.

Fruit Juice – Again in moderation, the acidity erodes the delicate enamel and causes that weird “see through” not-so-good look.

Excessive sugar – I don’t really think I have to explain. Remember the milk tooth in a glass of cola trick at high school? Yup – it dissolved it. Bleugh.

Bleaching

I like white teeth. It’s as simple as that. They make you look younger, healthier and prettier. Fact.

Not saying we should all aim for a Simon Cowell-esque bright blue glow but as the majority would agree, brighter + whiter = better.

There are two main methods for bleaching, laser and trays.

I prefer the latter as does my Dad and pretty much all of his colleagues, the results seem to be more uniform, last longer and have less sensitivity related side effects.

Laser is still effective of course and certainly the option if you are looking for 24 hour results.

Trays are essentially plastic moulds of your teeth that are fitted by your dentist, you then wear them filled with a peroxide gel from 2 – 4 weeks preferably overnight. More common is the 16% strength version gel that gives quicker results however for sensitive souls ( including yours truly) you can also request a 10% which is far gentler.

If you are considering pearlier whites please PLEASE consult a qualified dental practitioner and ask for recommendations.

Straightening

Ok so here’s the deal. You can have all sorts of veneers to mask an unsightly smile – a lot of celebville certainly do. However they are costly and can be incredibly high maintenance. They also are not guaranteed to last forever and can lead to gum recession. You also have to really investigate the options and what/which dentist will work for you. I have witnessed several horrendous tombstone numbers and I wondered if the individuals in question actually looked better before. Quite possibly I’m betting.

However a great option if:

a) You can afford it and b) the idea of braces fills you with dread.

Which brings me onto of course exactly that – braces.

My wisdom teeth grew through at 19. As a result by the time I was 21 I was the owner of an unattractive shade of too-much-builders-tea off-white wonky ( and not in an endearing way) smile. I was unhappy. I didn’t dare laugh in photo’s. Bottom line? – I wanted them fixed.

My Dad is a dentist not an orthodontist so braces from him were not an option, instead I was sent away to a qualified straightening specialist and 18 months and 2 train tracks later I was the proud owner of some near-perfect teeth.

Afterwards I used bleaching trays for 2-3 weeks to make them extra sparkly.

Only thing is I didn’t wear my retainers properly. ( I know I know – after all that I was a complete div) and after I was engaged ( and became fanatical about my soon-to-be-bridal appearance) noticed that they were not as straight as they once were. I wanted to be a super smiley bride but I didn’t want a mouth full of metal at 27 years of age to achieve it, as I imagine none of you gorgeous lot would either.

So what to do?

Well I went to visit recommended orthodontist Alan Coley-Smith who presented various non-Ugly-Betty type options.

Firstly Invisalign which works on you wearing almost invisible moulds every day for at least 20 hours that get changed every fortnight – they gradually straighten teeth without looking unsightly during the process. Apparently Cheryl Cole ( or is it Tweedy now?) used this method for her own X-Factor worthy pearls.

Secondly “lingual” braces which are essentially quite similar to the more common type of metal bracket appliance but is fitted to the back of your teeth thus preventing you or anyone else being able to actually see it. Genius.

I took the second option – I just knew I wouldn’t have the willpower to not remove the invisalign if I could for any “special occasion” or “fancy dinner” so solely for that reason it was ruled out.

I wore lingual braces for 12 months and had them removed 6 months before the wedding. I now wear a permanent fine wired retainer on both my upper and lower jaw. I honestly forget it’s even there.

I must point out that neither method is cheap – expect to pay from £3000 to £6000 dependent on length/degree of treatment. What I will say though is it must be viewed as an investment. If you look after them well your teeth should last forever. I’m not sure about any of you but I have absolutely NO intention of becoming a gummy granny

I guess what the point of this post is, is not be afraid. Dentist’s aren’t scary. Honestly.

And no amount of super sexy lip gloss or catwalk-worthy hair or knock-’em dead dress is going to take away from the fact that you don’t feel confident cheshire cat-ing it in your wedding photo’s.

It’s supposed to be the happiest day of your life right?

Big Smiley Happy Love

Charlotte xxx

P.S I realise this became rather epic. Please feel free to comment if you have any queries on my own personal experience with braces/bleaching…..

… Sunscreen would be it.

Remember that song? It might not have been Novello quality music, but he sure had a point. We all love the Sun. Particularly when it shines in the UK, like it has a lot recently. But nobody like wrinkles. And thats getting off lightly, there’s still Skin Cancer to dodge.

Charlotte has already said her piece on being Sun Safe, but you know what, it can’t be said enough. We’ve both had nasty experiences with Sun damage and even Skin Cancer, Charlotte having a Melanoma herself, and me losing my Dad to the horrible disease at 13. He was 46 and that could be you. The sun is not lovely, it is harsh and damaging and ruins your skin. So listen up people. We’re not into scaremongering, but sometimes a little shock is what you need to wake up to the truth and I make no apologies for this post potentially being it.

Lecture over, we’re here to share our favourite sunscreens for your holidays/honeymoon this summer. In fact you should be rocking some SPF every sunny day here in the UK. Why do people think it’s ok to wear none because it’s England and end up like a lobster? Plus, remember ladies, no-one wants strap marks in their lovely strapless dress come W-day!

My own personal rules are nothing less than factor 25. That means you are protected in the sun for 25 x longer than you would be wearing no sunscreen. So if you would burn in 5 minutes flat, you’re looking at a maximum of 2 hours in the sun. And after that, it doesn’t start again if you re-apply. Thats ‘seek shade’ time, I’m afraid.

If I’m going away somewhere hot I might start with Factor 35 or 40 for the first few days and wean down. But… never less than 25!

And if I’m in the UK? Yup… you guessed it, NEVER LESS THAN 25!

More rules? Stay out of the sun between 11am and 3pm. Have a siesta with your intended, read a book in the shade or have a leisurely lunch. Just don’t lie there like an idiot sizzling.

Before we get onto our top picks I should add, that whilst Charlotte’s skin tone is more the pale and interesting variety, I am not the burn-fast type, being quite olive skinned and turning a very golden brown in the sun. I don’t choose these high Spfs to prevent me burning alone, but to protect myself and my skin for the future.

Rebecca’s Top Sunscreen Picks

1. Ambre Solaire SPF 30 a light weight milk formula which rubs in easily and smells lush. £11.99 for 200ml and currently BOGOF in Boots!

3. Clinique Sun Protection Face cream SPF 30 £15.00 for 50ml I use this for bog standard, on the beach with no make-up. Also available in oil-free format.

Charlotte’s Top Sunscreen picks

1. For the Face, No.7 SPF 50 face with skin brightening complex which protects against hyper-pigmentation (dark spots) and the dreaded wrinkles! £10.50 for 50ml.

3. L’Oreal Solar Expertise SPF 25 – light formulas and lovely smells, plus they absorb pretty well and avoid the white-and-shiny look. £10.77 for 150mls.

So there you have it, no excuse not to stay sun safe this year on honeymoon, on the beach, and most importantly AT HOME! All of the above top picks are available from your local Boots.

And now after sharing my favourites I have a plea for the Rock My Wedding readership. Does anyone have a sun cream to recommend that doesn’t stain white clothes yellow? I love wearing white in the summer (and lets face it, it’s nigh on essential when you’re the bride/newlywed , ) but I hate sun cream leaving marks on my clothes.

Any tips would be much appreciated!

Yours Truly,

Rebecca
xoxo