“You Rock My World” started off because a little newly wed ( that’ll be me then) decided to share her wedding planning experience with other future brides on a wedding forum – kind of like a blog where I posted every couple of days or so.

I hope you enjoy it……..

(All Photography by Jordan Banks unless otherwise stated)

My husband ( love saying that!) and I met on a blind date, set up by one of my best friends Sarah who told me absolutely nothing except his name was “James O’Shea” and he ( probably) had dark hair.

me: ” So what you are saying is he could be say… 5ft tall, have excessive nostril hair and be a total and utter chauvanistic pig?”

Sarah: ” Look I’ve told you before I’m not telling you anything, otherwise I will just raise your expectations and it might not work out….( much laughing and giggling)”

me: “I can’t believe I am going on a BLIND date, this is so totally embarassing and desperate!!”

Sarah: “Look it will be fine, honestly promise, I’m pretty sure he is not like into like train spotting or anything….”

me: “You are pretty sure? oh great, so basically I am going on a date with a short, chauvanistic trainspotting weirdo with a hairy nose………..”

……………………………….

And there he was.

No nose hair.

And definitely no cagoule.

And without sounding like some really dreadful Mills and Boon type novel he really was the most gorgeous man I had ever seen. Perfect teeth ( Dad’s a dentist – top of the requirement list is a high standard of oral hygiene)
very tall and with this lovely (slightly dishevelled) thick wavy dark hair.

Dumbstruck all I could think of to say was….. “Hello James O’Shea”

He just smiled and replied….. “Hello Charlotte G*********”

And the rest they say is history………

We got engaged in February 2008, James had taken me on a romantic birthday break to Edinburgh, had a grand master plan to propose at the bottom of Edinburgh castle ( I had no idea obviously) and then it started to rain….. cue me getting increasingly irrate as he seemed to be taking me totally the long way round back to the hotel…..no umberella + non waterproof mascara = lank haired panda eyed catastrophe

me: “Why are we going this way – isn’t this like totally the long way round?”



James: “Erm no no it’s about the same distance I think”

me “Are you sure because I am getting very wet and cold and…..moan moan moan”

James ” Honestly it’s only about 5 minutes away ….erm can you sit down on this bench please?”

me ( looking like lank haired panda eyed incredulous catastrophe) “Are you quite mad? why do I want to sit down you nutter it’s really starting to rain loads!!!”

James ( looking strained and stressed) “Look just sit down here for a second will you….”

And so he literally pushes me onto the bench and immediately drops on one knee ….. in a puddle.


And I think I might have stopped breathing…..

And then I think I stopped breathing …..

And he said ” You know I love you to bits, and that I want to spend the rest of my life with you……..

( I am at this point beaming and nodding like a complete goon)

……”so I wanted to ask…. will you marry me?” and he is holding a silver band that he sometimes wears and I am jumping up and down ( like a rain soaked, bedraggled ridiculously happy goon) and saying “yes! yes! of course I will of course!”

Some years previous we had been on a break to New York and I had persuaded James to take me to the huge 5th Avenue Tiffany store. It totally lived up to my expectations and I completely fell in love with the romance of it all, the beautiful glittering jewels, the besotted couples chosing diamonds together….

I knew from that moment forth I wanted to live the blue box dream.

After I had accepted his proposal James explained how he did think about buying a Tiffany ring himself to propose with but thought I would enjoy the experience of chosing it myself so he had arranged for us to visit the concession in Harrods the following weekend.

I was so happy and excited all that week, I was going to marry the man of my dreams and I was lucky enough for him to want to buy me the perfect ring. I swiftly bought EVERY wedding magazine known to man and spent many an hour browsing the Tiffany website – there were quite a few sparklers that had caught my eye so was hoping to get the opportunity to try them on.

Breakfast anyone? – I was TOTALLY having my Audrey moment….

The night before the “big day” (!) I was too excited to sleep, it was like Christmas and birthdays and the offer of free MAC make-up for life all rolled into one….

Looking back maybe I had just got swept away by the romance a little too much because when the Tiffany sales assistant brought out the tray of rings and I tried them on I just didn’t get that feeling of “the one”, I was actually really upset – more upset for James than anything as he was so happy to see me so elated. And also incredibly guilty – how could I be so ungrateful? I’d been offered exactly what I’d asked for.

So we left the store for me to “think about it” and go back later on in the afternoon…….. we both knew I wouldn’t. 



oh dear.

We so didn’t have a plan B.

James being his usual positive self took it all in his stride and told me we would look at all the other stores, all the other rings until I found one that was perfect for me.

And there it was, the Cartier “Honeymoon”, a single classic brillliant round diamond set in a platinum band. I was in love.

I tried it on and it was gorgeous. I couldn’t take it home that day as it had to be re-sized ( I have stupidly small fingers – an F) but it was ready within a few weeks. I loved ( and still love) looking at it every day and I felt (and still feel) like the luckiest girl on the earth.

So I had the perfect man and the perfect ring…. now onto planning the wedding.

There are a lot of girls I know who have dreamed about their wedding day since they knew what a wedding was. I was honestly never one of those girls.

Don’t get me wrong, I always had aspirations to be Cinderella/Sleeping Beauty/Princess and the Pea…. ( delete as appropriate) but it was the finding Prince Charming and living happily ever after part of the fairytale that filled my dreams.

The last couple of years we had been to our fair share of weddings, all with their own aspects of fabulousness.

The problem with having been to so many though (I’m being honest) is that I couldn’t help but be conscious of not doing something the same or even similar really, I just wanted something a little bit different.

So I started planning with fierce determination – I was going to organise a lovely special wedding that was elegant, intimate and above all filled with love, laughter and a day that we would remember forever.

Hmmmmm, where to start then?…. ah yes with that big pile of magazines.

And there it began, a whole new world of chair covers, cala lillies, chignons, favours, matching your men’s cravats to your bridesmaids dresses to your flowers to your ribbons to your ……….. I have never been so confused in all my life.

I totally lost sight of what I had set out to do and pretty much spent 8 months battling with what I wanted and what I thought I should be doing.

We booked a venue because it ticked most of our requirement boxes, not because when I thought of it it took my breath away. A friend had got married there and it had been perfectly nice and well organised so…. it just seemed the sensible thing to do.

I didn’t like any bridesmaids dresses or cravats or anything matching so thought there must be something wrong with me – but what is my colour theme???? I must have a colour theme or everything is going to look un-co-ordinated and a total mess and……

Before I knew it it was November and our wedding was booked for August 30th Bank holiday Sunday.

And I had absolutley no clue what I was doing.

I had scoured the dress shops with my lovely (and very patient) Mum. I loved the look of Jenny Packham but they just didn’t love me, I am slim/petite but with boobs and a shelf like behind, they just made me look a funny shape and squished everything in the wrong place so I felt frumpy and gnome like.

Then there was Alan Hannah and ben de Lisi and Stewart Parvin and Suzanne Neville and Stephanie Allin and ….the list goes on. All beautiful dresses, just none of them the one for me.
I did find a few I really liked, a chiffon number by Jesus Peiro and an exquisite lace dress by Lusan Mandongas ( who I adore by the way – if you are reading this and are still un-decided on “the one” please give Lusan’s range a try, I don’t think they are that well known but the material and cut were some the best I’ve seen – and they were reasonably priced)

In the end my Mum and I both decided that the chiffon Jesus was although really stunning maybe a bit too evening and then James announced that……he didn’t like lace.

So what to do…..

I had two last designers in mind, le spose di gio and Amanda Wakeley, more than what I set out to spend but at this stage I was willing to try anything. ANYTHING!

So I booked the AW appointment ( seriously I should have bought a Virgin train Birmingham International to London Euston rail card I did that journey that many times) and kept my fingers firmly crossed.

The main Amanda Wakeley “collection” in the Chelsea store is on the ground floor so while we waited for the bridal consultant to meet us my Mum and I had a good old look at all the fabulous evening wear.

I absolutely adored the shape and cut of the gowns, really elegant and contemporary and I immediately had a really positive feeling about the dresses that awaited us upstairs in Amanda Wakeley Sposa.

And they didn’t disappoint. For the first time I marvelled at nearly everything on display, these were really beautiful feminine classic dresses, not overtly fussy but with enough subtle detail for maximum impact.

I tried on several ….beaded, tulle, chiffon, strapless, backless ….. loved different aspects of every single one.

It was my Mum in the end who picked out “the one”, a mermaid backless beauty with straps and a long train – made from mikado panelled silk – AW 143.

I had looked at the website but not seen it on there, the assistant explained that particular rack of dresses were brand new and had not even been on the catwalk yet.

So I tried it on and loved it, and probably just as importantly knew that James would love it too. From showing him thousands of dresses in magazines (We played the “dress game” – as in “rate this dress out of ten please” – did anyone else play this with their H2B? I found it really facsinating – and useful!)…. I knew he preferred straps and a fishtail/mermaid shape and didn’t like lace or lots of decoration/sparkle and that he thinks flashing a bit of back is sexy so….I guess if I could have designed his ideal dress, this wouldn’t have been far off the mark.

Of course as I imagine everyone who tries on a sample – they don’t fit considerably well but I could see how it would look when it was was nipped and tucked and taken in and I just felt like ” me” in it but obviously an improved far more glamorous version of me …. just what I was after.

I didn’t put a deposit down straight away, I had made so many rash panicked wrong decisions over the last 8 months I was determined to sleep on it and definitely make an appointment to at least try it on again before parting with any significant $$$$$

The following week I had a look on the web for more local suppliers of AW, in reality trekking down to London was taking it’s toll and I didn’t fancy doing it several times leading up to the wedding for fittings and collection.

I found “Quello” bridal in Kenilworth, website was lovely and easy to use and the pictures of the boutique looked chic and sophisticated. I sent an email to the “info” link and received a speedy and helpful reply from Claire who turned out to be the owner of the store. We then spoke on the phone and she explained she had a wide selection of AW and that she would be getting some of the brand new collection in fresh off the catwalk in the next few weeks.

So I made an appointment and took along one of my best friends ( and bridesmaids) Melissa, who is brutally honest ( and one of the reasons I love her actually)

I tried on a few different types of gowns first for comparison and then tried on “the one” ….

Melissa was actually agog for a few seconds ( I was temporarily concerned by this reaction) but quickly said “Oh.My.God. that is the most stunning wedding dress I have ever seen in my life, when I eventually find the man of my dreams….. I am sooooooo getting an Amanda Wakeley!”

I know this should have nothing to do with the dress itself but I immediatley liked Claire as well, she was just honest and lovely and not at all OTT and as a result I felt totally comfortable ordering my dress from Quello and that they would do a great job of the alterations.

So I had the perfect man, perfect ring and perfect dress so….why was there something niggling in my sub conscious that made me feel like everything wasn’t rosy in Weddingville?

Some non-professional pictures:

We had booked our venue not long after the engagement, a boutique hotel in the West Midlands. As I had mentioned before we had been to a friend’s wedding there the previous summer and it was very cool and understated and didn’t scream “traditional wedding”.It was local to the majority of my friends and family and not a million miles from James’s side in Manchester so….lots of boxes ticked.

I had also scoured the internet and nothing in the area came close, I was pretty certain it would be the ideal location for our special day.

When we visited to book it they were just completing a seperate building at the back – specifically for weddings. There was a lovely bar area and generally the decor was nice – if a little too “trendy” actually.

Now neither of us were expecting this when we arrived, I was imagining it as it was the previous year and part of the charm was that it was a fairly old building but contemporary inside, now it was just kind of erm….well…..a little bit corporate.

For some unknown reason I decided to overlook this fact and made sure we could book out both the restaurant ( the original area) and this new “wedding” room so that we could have exclusive use of the venue ( for both of us this was really important) this was agreed as well as booking out all of the available bedrooms and suites.

It was also under what we had budgeted over all for the venue, food and drink.

So far so good.

There was a large patio outside of the new wedding room that clearly wasn’t completed but we were told that this would be ready by that summer (2008) so would be lovely and weathered and the surrounding plants and flowers more mature by the time of our wedding in summer 2009.

I was pretty much sold at that point ( to be honest I just wanted to get on with the planning and buying!) and so after sleeping on it James and I paid the substantial deposit and were all set for the 30th August 2009.

And then the problems began….

I had some questions to ask a few days after booking and the wedding co-ordinator who had shown us the venue had been fired – turned out she had been “mis selling” weddings and had not been keeping detailed enough records of clients and their requirements.

I won’t bore you with the details but basically there were several aspects we had been sold that either didn’t exist or were totally exaggerated – the patio was pretty much finished as it happened (?!) and there was another room at the back of the restaurant that could be used for parties – so basically Aunty Vi could be celebrating her 80th with a bingo extravaganza and Tom Jones tribute in the room next to my guests… with her guests sharing our ( apparently nearly finished but really rather naff looking) patio area.

(Just for clarity I have no issues with Tom Jones, my mother is from Gwent so I love the welsh wonder as much as the rest of them …although I may draw the line at throwing him my panties  )

We met with one of the owners of the hotel in the end and he tried to make light of everything and offered us a few discounts and free bits and pieces here and there (they would keep the party room empty so no risk of Aunty Vi…etc etc) Unfortunately there was no light at the end of the tunnel for me and although I didn’t say anything at the time I think all the disappointment was building up over those 8 months until the November when I finally bought my dress…..

On the evening of my dress purchase I arrived back home to an expectant James. He knew I had found a dress I really loved so was hoping as much as me that when I went to Quello I would still feel the same about it and make a purchase. ( And to be honest we had not managed to book a fat lot else as we couldn’t decide on anything)

So there he was all smiling and lovely and I promptly… burst into floods of tears.

James : “Oh no baby what’s wrong?? Did you not like the dress??”

me: “uh uh hiccup hiccup nnnn….nnooo no nooo it’s not that it’s…it’s …it’s hiccup hiccup”

James: ” We still have plenty of time you know there must be loads of other dresses out there for you to try??”

me: ” no no I love the dress it’s gorgeous it’s perfect I just …I just…”

James: ” What what? what is it? ( hint of concerned smile) it’s not me is it…you’ve not changed your mind have you??”

me : ” No you great big Div, it’s not you – You rock my world, the dress is great …. I just think I made a mistake with the venue, and I’m so sorry that I haven’t said anything as I know we have paid all that money and we probably won’t get it back…..and I really want to marry you next summer more than anything and now it’s nearly Christmas and everything will be all booked up now for next summer anyway and…….” (more tears and hiccuping and feeling like a complete idiot)

James: ” If it’s really upsetting you that much we will just re-think it ok? we’ll at least ask them about the deposit and go from there, I’m sure there are other venues that would have had cancellations or something? honestly don’t get yourself all worked up about it, we only get this day once and I want it to be perfect for you”

And that is why I was marrying this man.

After the tears had been wiped away and I finally got a grip on myself – in the grand scheme of things ( and again apologies for the slush) it was really about James and I wanting to spend the rest of our lives together, not about the lushness of our venue’s pot plants

I had a little confession to make to James at this point actually. The week we got back from Edinburgh while I had been addicted to surfing the world wide web for all things sparkly I had also had a little sneaky peak at private hire venues. Suprisingly there were not that many and the majority of them were London based.

There was one stand out though, a place called Notley Abbey in Buckinghamshire. It looked beautiful on the website and was once the marital home of Vivienne Leigh and Laurence Olivier – how romantic is that?? even Marylin Monroe had stayed there many years ago……ah sigh at the Fairytale of it all. …

I had sent off for the details via the website which was a colour brochure, DVD and price list. It arrived a few days later and the brochure had plenty more pictures that were not on the site – and suprise suprise it looked even more spectacular.

Then I looked at the price list.

Then I nearly fainted.

Very quickly the Notley Abbey welcome pack got shoved to the back of my underwear draw and to the very back of my thoughts ( well kind of) and I certainly didn’t even consider telling James.
And there it remained for 8 months.

So on that dreary November evening I told James all about it. He called me a berk – I should have just shown it him in the first place and then at least we could have considered it together.

I did remind him what I was like though – look at the Tiffany fiasco. I hadn’t even seen this place and had immediately built up this whole day of gorgeousness in my head. Oh and Marilyn Monroe is like my favourite icon of all time and I wanted to actually BE Scarlett O’Hara since the age of like 10…. – talk about carrot and stick.

So I showed him the brochure ( he was suitably impressed) and then he suggested we watch the DVD. Good Lordy I was nearly in tears again -it was so darn lovely.

Hmmmm so now it was just the question of cost…..

Right from the beginning James and I had been adamant about paying for our wedding ourselves ( I don’t have any issues with people that don’t of course it was just our personal choice) and although both my parents and James’s Mum had been pretty insistent on being able to make some kind of contribution ( for which we are eternally grateful) the majority was our responsibility so anything over and above our budget was going to be a challenge.

Luckily mathematics is not my strong point and it transpired that I had added the VAT when I didn’t need too and only looked at Saturday’s in peak months – June, July and August. Fridays and Sundays were more reasonable and September was more reasonable still. So although it was still more $$$$$ than I think either of us ever considered spending we both decided it would be worth at least seeing Notley Abbey in person…….to see if it really was as movie star fabulous as I expected.