I hope you enjoy it……..

(All Photography by Jordan Banks unless otherwise stated)

My husband ( love saying that!) and I met on a blind date, set up by one of my best friends Sarah who told me absolutely nothing except his name was “James O’Shea” and he ( probably) had dark hair.

me: ” So what you are saying is he could be say… 5ft tall, have excessive nostril hair and be a total and utter chauvanistic pig?”

Sarah: ” Look I’ve told you before I’m not telling you anything, otherwise I will just raise your expectations and it might not work out….( much laughing and giggling)”

me: “I can’t believe I am going on a BLIND date, this is so totally embarassing and desperate!!”

Sarah: “Look it will be fine, honestly promise, I’m pretty sure he is not like into like train spotting or anything….”

me: “You are pretty sure? oh great, so basically I am going on a date with a short, chauvanistic trainspotting weirdo with a hairy nose………..”

……………………………….

And there he was.

No nose hair.

And definitely no cagoule.

And without sounding like some really dreadful Mills and Boon type novel he really was the most gorgeous man I had ever seen. Perfect teeth ( Dad’s a dentist – top of the requirement list is a high standard of oral hygiene)
very tall and with this lovely (slightly dishevelled) thick wavy dark hair.

Dumbstruck all I could think of to say was….. “Hello James O’Shea”

He just smiled and replied….. “Hello Charlotte G*********”

And the rest they say is history………

We got engaged in February 2008, James had taken me on a romantic birthday break to Edinburgh, had a grand master plan to propose at the bottom of Edinburgh castle ( I had no idea obviously) and then it started to rain….. cue me getting increasingly irrate as he seemed to be taking me totally the long way round back to the hotel…..no umberella + non waterproof mascara = lank haired panda eyed catastrophe

me: “Why are we going this way – isn’t this like totally the long way round?”



James: “Erm no no it’s about the same distance I think”

me “Are you sure because I am getting very wet and cold and…..moan moan moan”

James ” Honestly it’s only about 5 minutes away ….erm can you sit down on this bench please?”

me ( looking like lank haired panda eyed incredulous catastrophe) “Are you quite mad? why do I want to sit down you nutter it’s really starting to rain loads!!!”

James ( looking strained and stressed) “Look just sit down here for a second will you….”

And so he literally pushes me onto the bench and immediately drops on one knee ….. in a puddle.


And I think I might have stopped breathing…..

And he said ” You know I love you to bits, and that I want to spend the rest of my life with you……..

( I am at this point beaming and nodding like a complete goon)

……”so I wanted to ask…. will you marry me?” and he is holding a silver band that he sometimes wears and I am jumping up and down ( like a rain soaked, bedraggled ridiculously happy goon) and saying “yes! yes! of course I will of course!”

Some years previous we had been on a break to New York and I had persuaded James to take me to the huge 5th Avenue Tiffany store. It totally lived up to my expectations and I completely fell in love with the romance of it all, the beautiful glittering jewels, the besotted couples chosing diamonds together….

I knew from that moment forth I wanted to live the blue box dream.

After I had accepted his proposal James explained how he did think about buying a Tiffany ring himself to propose with but thought I would enjoy the experience of chosing it myself so he had arranged for us to visit the concession in Harrods the following weekend.

I was so happy and excited all that week, I was going to marry the man of my dreams and I was lucky enough for him to want to buy me the perfect ring. I swiftly bought EVERY wedding magazine known to man and spent many an hour browsing the Tiffany website – there were quite a few sparklers that had caught my eye so was hoping to get the opportunity to try them on.

Breakfast anyone? – I was TOTALLY having my Audrey moment….

The night before the “big day” (!) I was too excited to sleep, it was like Christmas and birthdays and the offer of free MAC make-up for life all rolled into one….

Looking back maybe I had just got swept away by the romance a little too much because when the Tiffany sales assistant brought out the tray of rings and I tried them on I just didn’t get that feeling of “the one”, I was actually really upset – more upset for James than anything as he was so happy to see me so elated. And also incredibly guilty – how could I be so ungrateful? I’d been offered exactly what I’d asked for.

So we left the store for me to “think about it” and go back later on in the afternoon…….. we both knew I wouldn’t. 



oh dear.

We so didn’t have a plan B.

James being his usual positive self took it all in his stride and told me we would look at all the other stores, all the other rings until I found one that was perfect for me.

And there it was, the Cartier “Honeymoon”, a single classic brillliant round diamond set in a platinum band. I was in love.

I tried it on and it was gorgeous. I couldn’t take it home that day as it had to be re-sized ( I have stupidly small fingers – an F) but it was ready within a few weeks. I loved ( and still love) looking at it every day and I felt (and still feel) like the luckiest girl on the earth.

So I had the perfect man and the perfect ring…. now onto planning the wedding.

Don’t get me wrong, I always had aspirations to be Cinderella/Sleeping Beauty/Princess and the Pea…. ( delete as appropriate) but it was the finding Prince Charming and living happily ever after part of the fairytale that filled my dreams.

The last couple of years we had been to our fair share of weddings, all with their own aspects of fabulousness.

The problem with having been to so many though (I’m being honest) is that I couldn’t help but be conscious of not doing something the same or even similar really, I just wanted something a little bit different.

So I started planning with fierce determination – I was going to organise a lovely special wedding that was elegant, intimate and above all filled with love, laughter and a day that we would remember forever.

Hmmmmm, where to start then?…. ah yes with that big pile of magazines.

And there it began, a whole new world of chair covers, cala lillies, chignons, favours, matching your men’s cravats to your bridesmaids dresses to your flowers to your ribbons to your ……….. I have never been so confused in all my life.

I totally lost sight of what I had set out to do and pretty much spent 8 months battling with what I wanted and what I thought I should be doing.

We booked a venue because it ticked most of our requirement boxes, not because when I thought of it it took my breath away. A friend had got married there and it had been perfectly nice and well organised so…. it just seemed the sensible thing to do.

I didn’t like any bridesmaids dresses or cravats or anything matching so thought there must be something wrong with me – but what is my colour theme???? I must have a colour theme or everything is going to look un-co-ordinated and a total mess and……

Before I knew it it was November and our wedding was booked for August 30th Bank holiday Sunday.

And I had absolutley no clue what I was doing.

I had scoured the dress shops with my lovely (and very patient) Mum. I loved the look of Jenny Packham but they just didn’t love me, I am slim/petite but with boobs and a shelf like behind, they just made me look a funny shape and squished everything in the wrong place so I felt frumpy and gnome like.

Then there was Alan Hannah and ben de Lisi and Stewart Parvin and Suzanne Neville and Stephanie Allin and ….the list goes on. All beautiful dresses, just none of them the one for me.
I did find a few I really liked, a chiffon number by Jesus Peiro and an exquisite lace dress by Lusan Mandongas ( who I adore by the way – if you are reading this and are still un-decided on “the one” please give Lusan’s range a try, I don’t think they are that well known but the material and cut were some the best I’ve seen – and they were reasonably priced)

In the end my Mum and I both decided that the chiffon Jesus was although really stunning maybe a bit too evening and then James announced that……he didn’t like lace.

So what to do…..

I had two last designers in mind, le spose di gio and Amanda Wakeley, more than what I set out to spend but at this stage I was willing to try anything. ANYTHING!

So I booked the AW appointment ( seriously I should have bought a Virgin train Birmingham International to London Euston rail card I did that journey that many times) and kept my fingers firmly crossed.

I absolutely adored the shape and cut of the gowns, really elegant and contemporary and I immediately had a really positive feeling about the dresses that awaited us upstairs in Amanda Wakeley Sposa.

And they didn’t disappoint. For the first time I marvelled at nearly everything on display, these were really beautiful feminine classic dresses, not overtly fussy but with enough subtle detail for maximum impact.

I tried on several ….beaded, tulle, chiffon, strapless, backless ….. loved different aspects of every single one.

It was my Mum in the end who picked out “the one”, a mermaid backless beauty with straps and a long train – made from mikado panelled silk – AW 143.

I had looked at the website but not seen it on there, the assistant explained that particular rack of dresses were brand new and had not even been on the catwalk yet.

So I tried it on and loved it, and probably just as importantly knew that James would love it too. From showing him thousands of dresses in magazines (We played the “dress game” – as in “rate this dress out of ten please” – did anyone else play this with their H2B? I found it really facsinating – and useful!)…. I knew he preferred straps and a fishtail/mermaid shape and didn’t like lace or lots of decoration/sparkle and that he thinks flashing a bit of back is sexy so….I guess if I could have designed his ideal dress, this wouldn’t have been far off the mark.

Of course as I imagine everyone who tries on a sample – they don’t fit considerably well but I could see how it would look when it was was nipped and tucked and taken in and I just felt like ” me” in it but obviously an improved far more glamorous version of me …. just what I was after.

I didn’t put a deposit down straight away, I had made so many rash panicked wrong decisions over the last 8 months I was determined to sleep on it and definitely make an appointment to at least try it on again before parting with any significant $$$$$

The following week I had a look on the web for more local suppliers of AW, in reality trekking down to London was taking it’s toll and I didn’t fancy doing it several times leading up to the wedding for fittings and collection.

I found “Quello” bridal in Kenilworth, website was lovely and easy to use and the pictures of the boutique looked chic and sophisticated. I sent an email to the “info” link and received a speedy and helpful reply from Claire who turned out to be the owner of the store. We then spoke on the phone and she explained she had a wide selection of AW and that she would be getting some of the brand new collection in fresh off the catwalk in the next few weeks.

So I made an appointment and took along one of my best friends ( and bridesmaids) Melissa, who is brutally honest ( and one of the reasons I love her actually)

I tried on a few different types of gowns first for comparison and then tried on “the one” ….

Melissa was actually agog for a few seconds ( I was temporarily concerned by this reaction) but quickly said “Oh.My.God. that is the most stunning wedding dress I have ever seen in my life, when I eventually find the man of my dreams….. I am sooooooo getting an Amanda Wakeley!”

I know this should have nothing to do with the dress itself but I immediatley liked Claire as well, she was just honest and lovely and not at all OTT and as a result I felt totally comfortable ordering my dress from Quello and that they would do a great job of the alterations.

So I had the perfect man, perfect ring and perfect dress so….why was there something niggling in my sub conscious that made me feel like everything wasn’t rosy in Weddingville?

Some non-professional pictures:

I had also scoured the internet and nothing in the area came close, I was pretty certain it would be the ideal location for our special day.

When we visited to book it they were just completing a seperate building at the back – specifically for weddings. There was a lovely bar area and generally the decor was nice – if a little too “trendy” actually.

Now neither of us were expecting this when we arrived, I was imagining it as it was the previous year and part of the charm was that it was a fairly old building but contemporary inside, now it was just kind of erm….well…..a little bit corporate.

For some unknown reason I decided to overlook this fact and made sure we could book out both the restaurant ( the original area) and this new “wedding” room so that we could have exclusive use of the venue ( for both of us this was really important) this was agreed as well as booking out all of the available bedrooms and suites.

It was also under what we had budgeted over all for the venue, food and drink.

So far so good.

There was a large patio outside of the new wedding room that clearly wasn’t completed but we were told that this would be ready by that summer (2008) so would be lovely and weathered and the surrounding plants and flowers more mature by the time of our wedding in summer 2009.

I was pretty much sold at that point ( to be honest I just wanted to get on with the planning and buying!) and so after sleeping on it James and I paid the substantial deposit and were all set for the 30th August 2009.

And then the problems began….

I had some questions to ask a few days after booking and the wedding co-ordinator who had shown us the venue had been fired – turned out she had been “mis selling” weddings and had not been keeping detailed enough records of clients and their requirements.

I won’t bore you with the details but basically there were several aspects we had been sold that either didn’t exist or were totally exaggerated – the patio was pretty much finished as it happened (?!) and there was another room at the back of the restaurant that could be used for parties – so basically Aunty Vi could be celebrating her 80th with a bingo extravaganza and Tom Jones tribute in the room next to my guests… with her guests sharing our ( apparently nearly finished but really rather naff looking) patio area.

(Just for clarity I have no issues with Tom Jones, my mother is from Gwent so I love the welsh wonder as much as the rest of them …although I may draw the line at throwing him my panties  )

We met with one of the owners of the hotel in the end and he tried to make light of everything and offered us a few discounts and free bits and pieces here and there (they would keep the party room empty so no risk of Aunty Vi…etc etc) Unfortunately there was no light at the end of the tunnel for me and although I didn’t say anything at the time I think all the disappointment was building up over those 8 months until the November when I finally bought my dress…..

On the evening of my dress purchase I arrived back home to an expectant James. He knew I had found a dress I really loved so was hoping as much as me that when I went to Quello I would still feel the same about it and make a purchase. ( And to be honest we had not managed to book a fat lot else as we couldn’t decide on anything)

So there he was all smiling and lovely and I promptly… burst into floods of tears.

James : “Oh no baby what’s wrong?? Did you not like the dress??”

me: “uh uh hiccup hiccup nnnn….nnooo no nooo it’s not that it’s…it’s …it’s hiccup hiccup”

James: ” We still have plenty of time you know there must be loads of other dresses out there for you to try??”

me: ” no no I love the dress it’s gorgeous it’s perfect I just …I just…”

James: ” What what? what is it? ( hint of concerned smile) it’s not me is it…you’ve not changed your mind have you??”

me : ” No you great big Div, it’s not you – You rock my world, the dress is great …. I just think I made a mistake with the venue, and I’m so sorry that I haven’t said anything as I know we have paid all that money and we probably won’t get it back…..and I really want to marry you next summer more than anything and now it’s nearly Christmas and everything will be all booked up now for next summer anyway and…….” (more tears and hiccuping and feeling like a complete idiot)

James: ” If it’s really upsetting you that much we will just re-think it ok? we’ll at least ask them about the deposit and go from there, I’m sure there are other venues that would have had cancellations or something? honestly don’t get yourself all worked up about it, we only get this day once and I want it to be perfect for you”

And that is why I was marrying this man.

I had a little confession to make to James at this point actually. The week we got back from Edinburgh while I had been addicted to surfing the world wide web for all things sparkly I had also had a little sneaky peak at private hire venues. Suprisingly there were not that many and the majority of them were London based.

There was one stand out though, a place called Notley Abbey in Buckinghamshire. It looked beautiful on the website and was once the marital home of Vivienne Leigh and Laurence Olivier – how romantic is that?? even Marylin Monroe had stayed there many years ago……ah sigh at the Fairytale of it all. …

I had sent off for the details via the website which was a colour brochure, DVD and price list. It arrived a few days later and the brochure had plenty more pictures that were not on the site – and suprise suprise it looked even more spectacular.

Then I looked at the price list.

Then I nearly fainted.

Very quickly the Notley Abbey welcome pack got shoved to the back of my underwear draw and to the very back of my thoughts ( well kind of) and I certainly didn’t even consider telling James.
And there it remained for 8 months.

So on that dreary November evening I told James all about it. He called me a berk – I should have just shown it him in the first place and then at least we could have considered it together.

I did remind him what I was like though – look at the Tiffany fiasco. I hadn’t even seen this place and had immediately built up this whole day of gorgeousness in my head. Oh and Marilyn Monroe is like my favourite icon of all time and I wanted to actually BE Scarlett O’Hara since the age of like 10…. – talk about carrot and stick.

So I showed him the brochure ( he was suitably impressed) and then he suggested we watch the DVD. Good Lordy I was nearly in tears again -it was so darn lovely.

Hmmmm so now it was just the question of cost…..

Right from the beginning James and I had been adamant about paying for our wedding ourselves ( I don’t have any issues with people that don’t of course it was just our personal choice) and although both my parents and James’s Mum had been pretty insistent on being able to make some kind of contribution ( for which we are eternally grateful) the majority was our responsibility so anything over and above our budget was going to be a challenge.

Luckily mathematics is not my strong point and it transpired that I had added the VAT when I didn’t need too and only looked at Saturday’s in peak months – June, July and August. Fridays and Sundays were more reasonable and September was more reasonable still. So although it was still more $$$$$ than I think either of us ever considered spending we both decided it would be worth at least seeing Notley Abbey in person…….to see if it really was as movie star fabulous as I expected.

Right from when we turned into the long tree lined drive
I think I started holding my breath, even without a single leaf in 
sight I could just visualise how beautiful it would be come the 
spring and summer.

As we pulled up to the building I was wide eyed, overwhelmed and 
ended up having to put my hand over my mouth to muffle the 
squeaking delight, James laughed and just said “Well then, this 
was certainly worth the trip…”

From a girl who never really gave a second thought to her wedding
day here was the fairytale right smack bang in front of her – with bells on.

Inside was just as glorious, we were met by Jo who turned out to
be one of the owners ( they had been doing appoitments all day 
pretty much) and she took us on the guided tour.

I couldn’t fault a thing, the bedrooms were like something out of a 
movie with bathrooms that were contemporary and luxurious. 
The grounds ( although wet and muddy) were just perfect with 
gates taking you into hidden lawns – like something out of the 
secret garden.

There was a huge reception hall ( where guests 
gather before the ceremony) or have canapes if the weather is poor. 
A lounge area with huge leather sofa’s for resting those dancing 
feet…… a ceremony room that looked like a chapel… and then 
she took us to “The Monk’s Refrectory” where the wedding 
breakfast would take place….

Oh My Actual God.

It was simply breathtaking.

And it would be ours – all ours for a whole 24 hours.

If we won the lottery that is.

Jo explained the 30th August wasn’t available but Monday 
(bank holiday) the 31st was and it was more reasonable than 
a typical Saturday, still scarily expensive though.

Quite frankly I was willing to sell my left arm at this stage and certainly 
cut back on other areas if we needed to. The place was such perfection
I couldn’t see how you would need much decoration, if anything too 
much adornment would have ruined the simplicity of it all.

We left with a breakdown of all the costs and an administrator would
be contacting us with a very fancy pants spreadsheet which detailed 
all of the bits and pieces/deposit payments/time scales etc.

It was actually James who spoke first as we got in the car to return 
home.

James: ” Well, that was like nothing I’ve ever seen”

me: ” I know I know, I am IN LOVE with it, and it is so much money…..
and now nothing else is going to compare…..I’m willing to wait until 
2010 if we have too??”

James: ” Really? well let’s look at the numbers again over the 
weekend and if we can find the money some where else I think 
we should just go ahead and book it….”

me: ( beyond delighted) “Oh my goodness really?? I am so excited I might spontaniously combust!!! I love you, you are the most amazing boyfriend on the planet…..”

Firstly we had to look at what we had already booked and were 100% happy with ( as these costs were a given)

Jordan our photographer – A.Mazing. Had found him at the NEC wedding show in the March, a travel photographer by trade ( had won spiffy awards) and had quite recently taken up weddings professionally ( he had shot friends/families for some time) I liked him instantly and loved his portfolio – he totally captures the moment and there was so much joy and love in his work.

I had two bridesmaids with me at the show – Melissa ( the one I took to Quello) and my sister… also Melissa ( I know – confusing)

They both loved Jordan too and out of everyone we saw ( there were loads) his photo’s were ( in our opionion) the best.

So 100% happy with the photography.

My dress – yay!!!!!! …100% happy with that!

Our evening band – Felix Leiter, had seen them at a friend’s wedding 
and they rocked ( literally)… lead singer had a great voice and really 
got everyone on the dance floor.

Totally happy with them then.

And that was pretty much it, so we had the rest of the budget for 
flowers, grooms/best mans attire, stationary, string quartet, bridesmaids dresses, shoes…..jewellery ……registrar fees…..Notley Abbey…..?

The list seemed to be endless.

This was going to be tough.

And Jordan and Felix Leiter had to be bloomin’ free on the 31st.

Oh and there was no getting our deposit back from our previous 
disaster venue either. 

Lottery it is then.

No pictures can do Notley Abbey justice so if you are still looking for 
your dream location please please pay a visit……I promise you won’t 
be disappointed.

www.notleyabbey.co.uk

But now there was a light ( a big shiny Notley Abbey shaped one) at the end of the tunnel and providing we both received our bonuses at the end of the year and were generally thrifty over the coming months we should be A-ok.

Although the prospect of not being able to indulge in my fortnightly make-up splurge was daunting – I am an actual marketer’s dream and official cosmetics junkie.

“Oh look that mascara will give me lashes like bambi!!! I must BUY IT NOW I tell you!!!…..”

“Oh brilliant that lipgloss will make my lips all pouty and bee stung just like Angelina…. etc etc”

(Yes I know I know….. incredibly shallow but completely true)

Anyway I digress.

So exhausted and happy we went to sleep safe in the knowledge that the next day we would be all booked up for our dream wedding and I could finally get underway with preparations.

Then the bomb dropped. A big “we are making redundancies” at James’s employers type bomb – that very Monday morning. James works in property so as this was really when the recession started to rear its ugly head his was the first industry to really suffer. James had already had a couple of friends lose their jobs and it had generally been a really difficult few months in the world of house building and selling.

It was the worst news of course – there was no way we could book Notley Abbey, what with the very real possibility of only one income in the very near future our only option was to wait and hope for the best.

It wouldn’t be until January that James would know for definite if he would be a casualty of the cut backs. So we took a deep breath, got a bit of perspective on the REALLY important things in life and for a little while at least put the wedding plans on hold and concentrated on celebrating Christmas and New Year with our friends and families.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

January 2009

A few weeks into the New Year and James called me at work to let me know he was pretty satisfied that his job would be fine – for a few months at least. He had been sensible enough to take out redundancy insurance when things started taking a nose dive and this had also kicked in at this stage.

Hoorah!

So my very kind and very understanding boss let me book the next day off for some intensive wedding planning – I would be ringing Notley to see if the 31st August was free and if not what alternative dates were. Then it would be a case of ringing around our guests and confirmed suppliers to see if they were available.

So I arrived at my Mum’s on Friday the 16th January with lots of phone numbers, a scrap book of things I had cut out of magazines for idea’s and a whole lotta hope.

Mum was the provider of many cups of tea, chocolate digestives ( the finally very real prospect of the slinky dress meant probably the last chance of anything remotely resembling a biscuit would be passing my lips so I ate like a whole packet ) and some much needed assistance.

Surprise surprise the 31st August was no longer free but they had had a few cancellations in June and July… oh and they had just the day before had a cancellation for Friday the 29th May -because it was just over four months away they were discounting this date by a hefty sum.

Goodness that was tempting, and erm scary quite frankly – four months to organise a wedding? almost from scratch?. I rang James and he was up for it if I was .….

Was I?

Well I did have the dress and the perfect venue, how hard could it be?? and with the extra savings we perhaps wouldn’t have to cut back as much as we originally thought.

So I rang our photographer Jordan, in fact out of all of the dates the ONLY one he was free was the 29th May, same with the band.

Then I rang the lovely Claire at Quello, she had got straight onto AW and yes they could have it with me by the end of April…..

All of our guests – 60 of our nearest and dearest were all free…..

Fate?

I think so.

So in just over 4 months I would be Mrs Charlotte Ann O’Shea and I was the happiest (albeit with one hell of a busy schedule) girl in the world

The first thing I did was explain to her what James and I wanted in the beginning and how I in particular had got completely sidetracked by all of the traditions and expectations of what a “wedding” should entail.

My Mum bless her really wanted me to have the whole big white do and for her daughter to be the archetypical “disney princess” so really when I showed her my idea’s she wasn’t sure – they all seemed very “different” to what she had envisaged.

When she and Dad married they really didn’t have much money (Dad wasn’t even qualified and all of their savings was going on him buying his own practice) so a simple registry office affair and tea and sandwiches at a local village hall was about the extent of their big day.

So by her own admission she wanted me to experience everything she never did and never could.

The fact is she and Dad have been together 40 years ( married 35) and are still blissfully happy. My Dad calls my Mum “gorgeous” on a regular basis, they make each other laugh and would do anything for one another.

So who gives a toss that there wedding day was cheap is chips? It’s the bit after that counts and they have done it the best way possible – they are growing old together forever. Who could ask for more than that.

Besides and I told her as much, in every picture I’ve seen of their wedding everyone is smiling and laughing, my Grandad looks like the proudest man alive and my Dad looks like he can’t believe his luck.

And that is what I wanted to achieve above all else – a happy happy day.

Anyway my Mum on a glorious sunny day in June 1977 in her “bridal gown” of a second hand pale blue suit and hat? pretty as a picture and distinctly Jackie O esque 

James and I were in a much more priviledged position financially of course but I was still determined not to spend just for the sake of it and make sure that we LOVED everything to do with our wedding – not just “liked” it.

So I promptly ripped everything out of my scrapbook that was “nice” and left only the things in there that (I thought) were “totally fabulous” and I felt sooooo much better about it. Mum was still apprehensive ( she still had both feet firmly in camp “nice” at this point)) but I had a good feeling she would come round eventually.

Hmmmm so my major sticking point – this whole colour theme thing.

Now I like lots of colours and maybe that was my problem, I felt too restricted – for example by having the bridesmaids in a single hue – I would feel like I had to use this particular shade in everything.
So the plan was to make it all look cohesive but not matchy matchy.

Nothing like setting yourself a difficult task in a restricted time frame.

Bridesmaids dresses in general were a major issue, why were so many so darn awful? Was in some kind of secret bridezilla type trick to make all their lovely friends look so completely tragic that they would look even more amazing in comparison??

Picking my bridesmaids had been easy. My sister Melissa ( she was so excited when we brought the date forward – she would ring me at least 5 times a day to discuss plans) My best friend ( and reason for us meeting in the first place of course!) Sarah, my other best friend Melissa (I’ll refer to her as Mel to avoid confusion) and James’s sister Kirsten.

All slim very attractive girls – oh easy peasy – they could wear anything right? wrong… they all have COMPLETELY different colouring.

1) Melissa – mid brown hair and pink toned fair skin

2) Kirsten – blonde hair with a golden skin tone

3) Mel – very dark brown hair and dark olive skin 

4) Sarah – redhead with a very fair freckled complexion

My first thoughts were right how about the same dress but a different colour for each one? Then I thought better of it, what about if they couldn’t all agree on the same style ( there were after all so bloomin’ many) or that two wanted the same colour as each other? and more to the point what colours anyway, would they clash with each other? – wasn’t this just even more complicated?

Urgh.

What a nightmare.

I actually really liked the idea of ivory, it would flatter everyone and that way with such a neutral back drop, I could have all different sorts of colours to my flowers and stationary which I knew I wanted. They would have to be short dresses obviously for fear of ” erm which one is the bride?!…” but I figured all the girls would be fine with that.

My favourite flower ever since I can remember was hydrangea, they also featured heavily in my scrap book “totally fabulous” pictures often without me even realising it until I went through the whole lot again for my “stripping out” exercise.

Light bulb moment alert.

I’ll have hydrangea as my main flower in ALL the different gorgeous colours that I loved, hot pink, bright blue, that sexy mauve shade and the vibrant green which often has all the other colours touching the petal edges in some way – brilliant.

In fact if I had the bridesmaids in ivory they could have a different colour hydrangea bouquet each and I could have a massive pouf of ivory hydrangea for myself.

Genius.

Hmmmmm now I also love a gerbera and a delphinium….. ah well I’m sure I can fit those in too somehow .

I spoke to all the girls of course to check they were happy with 
a) Ivory and b) short pin-flashing frocks

My sister, Kirsten and Sarah were all really pleased with the idea and Mel was my last call…..

me: Hi babes, am ringing to discuss bridesmaids dresses…

Mel: Oh lovely have been wondering when you would call, was just about to call you actually as have been living in fear…

me: Fear of what pet?

Mel: Well I saw pictures of my cousins wedding yesterday and the bridesmaids were in like these burgundy wrap dresses….

me: Oh different ….like a Diane Von Furstenberg type look?

Mel: No babes not like DVF, like they were going to the office ….. and they didn’t fit properly either …..and the colour was SOOOO baaaaad….

me: Like a row of giant winegums?

Mel: Oh My God yes! yes that’s it!! winegums!!!

me: Babes I promise not to make you look like a giant winegum or any other type of confectionary for that matter. I was actually thinking of Ivory, short sophisticated but a little bit sexy?

Mel: Oh Charlotte really? that sounds beautiful! woo woo I am so excited now!

me: Excellent, and no more living in fear yes?

Mel: Nope totally fearless, not a giant burgundy sweet in sight

me: Excellent pet, now help me find you girls the perfect dress…….

And let me tell you I lucked out big time here. Within a few weeks I had found a totally stunning chiffon layered number in French Connection, it was almost exactly what I had imagined in my head.
Told the girls – they all went and had a look, tried on, REALLY loved it ( two have since worn theirs again already) and I ordered them in one go off the French Connection site.

A few minor alterations and paired with super cute muted grey/silver peep toe shoes from Coast ( sky scraper heels for the petite girls Mel and Sarah and kitten for the leggy two Melissa and Kirsten) and we were all set to go on the Bridesmaid front…

Most importantly after finalising the venue and date was sending out the invitations so that our guests knew when and where, as it was a Friday most people would need to take annual leave from work so we wanted to make sure it was all confirmed for them ASAP.

In the 8 months of confusion after our engagement I had sent off for many different invite samples. I love stationary – seriously Paperchase is like one of my favourite shops ( I know very sad..) but I adore unusual pens and coloured paper and cute little books to write things in and choosing funky birthday cards……

Therefore I was initially really looking forward to the whole choosing the stationary bit, I really think the invite sets the “tone” for a wedding so I was looking for something fun, elegant and colourful.

I also knew I wanted “save the dates” ( invites would take a bit of time with regards the text and sorting the gift list etc) Invitations, menu cards, “order of the day ” ( I wanted the whole day documented for guests not just the service – more on this later ) table name cards and a great big table plan.

At first James couldn’t get his head around this AT ALL and couldn’t comprehend what I was fussing about….

James: “Can’t we just buy some nice invitations from John Lewis or something?”

me: ” Erm no we can’t, they won’t be special to us will they then?”

James: “Guess not no but it just seems like a lot of stuff to me baby….., can Notley Abbey not like do a menu? and I’m sure they do a table plan…..?”

me: “Notley Abbey rocks James but did you see their table plan examples?? like just names on square bits of paper pinned up, I could do better myself using Microsoft Word”

James: ” Oh right I see…..ok then…..”

Anyway I’ve gone off the beaten track AGAIN sorry…..so back to all these samples. Some were nice – pretty even but I had established that “nice” just wouldn’t do. And some were just well….. a bit naff and a bit boring to be honest.

I had discovered one designer – Bijou Woo and there were lots of designs on their website that I thought were great. Nothing exactly fit my requirements though and they did look expensive – the top end of what we wanted to spend, hmmmm but they did do a bespoke design service….. oh dear more $$$$$$$!

I showed James and he thought they were definitely the best he had seen, he also kindly pointed out that I was having ( yet more) problematic mathematical calculation issues. Just because we were having 60 people didn’t mean we needed 60 invites as the vast majority of these were couples – it was more like 35 invites ( ah yes I see….) Oh and I was also calculating 60 menu’s as well when clearly we only needed 1 or 2 per table…….

I hate to conform to stereotype but sometimes I really do have my blonde moments.

I emailed Bijou Woo and the next morning received a reply from the owner – the lovely Shari. Without paying out for a bespoke design she pointed out I could have an existing one and change the colours, text and formatting at little extra cost – fabulous. I told her the ones I liked the most and she promptly sent me a selection of samples which didn’t disappoint.

It transpired that Shari wasn’t a million miles from where I work so when James and I decided Bijou Woo would be perfect to supply our wedding stationary she agreed to meet us and discuss design and colour options. I briefed her on the Hydrangea colours I had in mind and that their existing “red and black floral” design would be ideal providing we could have the floral patterns in greens, blues, pinks and purples, pick wording we wanted and move certain things around slightly.

Green light – no problem. AND she would get to work on the “save the dates” straight away.

Hallelujah.

Loved working with Shari, more than anyone else she had to put up with my most ridiculous Bridezilla type requests…. ” Can you just move that 2mm down the page…..just make that a touch lighter please…hmmm changed my mind can I have that back to pink again instead of green……etc etc”

She was an absolute angel.

And so many people commented on how much they loved the invitations and all the other bits and pieces, quite a few of our guests even took a selection of menu’s, order of the day and table names home with them as keepsakes.

Really makes all the effort worthwhile.