Morning gorgeous folks, it’s Charlotte here – (albeit briefly)… sometimes you’ve got to hold your hands up and say “I’m not the right person to write this piece” but if it’s something you think is relevant and/or important then the answer is simple – find someone that IS. For those of you that are familiar with RMW 2011 real bride Naomi then you will understand why her no-holds-barred and witty conversational style was made to cover this personal and somewhat taboo topic. For those of that are not familiar with Madam Liddell well – you soon will be, and you are in for a take-away-the-Monday-morning-blues treat… of the slightly naughty but non-calorific variety.

As always we welcome your opinions, thoughts and general awesome community spirit, feel free to comment as Anon/an alias if you would prefer to keep your identity private.

Sex and Marriage

During a recent Skype conversation between myself and the tiny, blonde Charlotte, we got talking about garters. Which then lead on to us talking about sexiness. Which then lead to us talking about sex. Especially sex after marriage. It went something like this:

Me: Maybe you should do a garters/sexiness/sex post on RMW.

Charlotte: Hmm… I’ve thought about this one before. Do you think it would go down well? I suppose there is that whole “Once it’s “I do”, it’s “I don’t in the bedroom” thing people say, which is quite frankly rubbish!

Me: I don’t in the bedroom?? That’s insane. Who says stuff like that??

Charlotte: I know! I don’t know if I’m the right person to write about it though. Maybe you should?

Me: You want me to write about sex and sexiness on RMW?

Charlotte: Yes. Listen, if fancy glossy Bridal magazines can write about sex and marriage, we can. Anyway, I think you’re the perfect person for it…

So let me begin by saying that I am by no means an expert. I also do not have the perfect collection of lingerie, nor do I have the perfect sex life to go with it. But because there is no such thing as the perfect lingerie collection and there is no such thing as the perfect sex life, I believe that we can all start off on the same page and talk pretty frankly about, what is essentially an important part of any marriage.

Once It’s I Do, It’s I Don’t In The Bedroom

Can I just take a moment to say something? This phrase angers me. What complete and utter bollocks. Pardonne le Francais. But whoever came up with this little tidbit of worldy knowledge clearly did not have a very well rounded marriage on the go. Or perhaps they were just someone trying to justify their choices in life by speculating on the marriages of others. Either way, I can honestly say that once I became Mrs L, I didn’t have the sudden inclination to become celebate. Quite the opposite actually.

The other thing I would like to raise is that question. The one that generally gets thrown at you by a single aquaintance who doesn’t know you too well, usually at a party and is also generally accompanied by a few too many Cab Sauv.

The “So, you’re going to have sex with one person for the rest of your life?!” question.

I’d like to take this opportunity to discuss this question, as anyone who is in a loving and lustful relationship will tesify, it generally comes across quite insulting.

The answer to this question in very basic terms is “Yes, I’m going to have sex with one person for the rest of my life.” But if looked at through the eyes of someone who is head over heels in love and adoration, ready to spend the rest of their life with said person and happens to find said person insanely sexually attractive, the answer should read more like this:

“(Hell) Yes, I’m going to have (the best) sex (I’ve ever had) with (the) one person (that I want to have sex with) for the rest of my life.”

To be perfectly frank (and I warned you I would be), I am delighted to have sexual exploration with other people behind me. I am glad to be rid of awkward encounters with men in clubs, deciphering body language/text messages and disappointing sexual experiences.

I can now say that I am lucky enough to spend the rest of my life having fun. Sexy fun with my husband. My husband who adores me in every way. With ‘forever’ meaning that we can spend our time working on having a smokin’ hot sex life. Time well spent I believe.

Great Expectations

Let us begin with the wedding night. Some of you may be looking forward to sex on your wedding night. Some of you haven’t even thought about it and are more concerned about drowning in a sea of table plans. Some of you may be having sex for the first time on your wedding night. Some of you may be worried about falling asleep drunk.

So I’ll tell you about us. We did not have sex on our wedding night. There’s a bit of an elaborate story about our hotel fiasco over on my blog, but the jist is, we were locked out of our room until 5am. Cue, Gavin and I falling into bed, me realising we were both filthy, the sheets were ‘spensive and white and forcing half asleep Gavin to get a bath with me. Now we all know that bath sex just doesn’t work, so we sipped Champagne and soaked in the tub, all dewy eyed and exhausted. We then curled up in bed together and woke up on our first morning as man and wife, still completely high on the love from the day before and then we consumated our marriage.

I think people put a lot of pressure on their sex lives. Everyone seems to believe that everyone is having more sex than them. So here is where I say, some are, some aren’t. And who cares? Focus on yourselves. Yes, there will be times when you and your man just cannot, for the love of sugar puffs, keep your hands off each other. Yes, there will also be times when you both just want to veg out and sex doesn’t even enter into it. Yes, there will also be times when one of you is up for it and the other one couldn’t be further away from it. But you know what? That’s ok. We can’t always be raging sex maniacs. But here’s the secret that I’ve found works for me: It should be fun. Flirty and sexy and giggly and touchy feely and fun. Anytime Gavin and I aren’t on the same wavelength sexually, we step it right back to the beginning and promise to flirt more with each other. We spend days flirting, which makes us both feel more sexy and puts the spark right back where it belongs.

All sex lives require effort from time to time. But effort for sex should always be half the fun.

I’m Sexy And I Know It

Girlies, as I type this, I am sitting in an old t-shirt and shorts, sweating bullets as it’s 43 degrees outside and the room I’m in doesn’t have air con. I haven’t straightened my hair and I’m pretty convinced I still have seeds from my lemon and poppy seed muffin stuck in my teeth. Do you think if Gavin walks in now, I’ll be all “Come on, big boy.” No. I am entirely unsexy at this moment in time. But that’s ok.

Because once I finish writing this post, I’m going to put on some music, get showered, put on a summer dress, paint my nails and spritz some of my favourite perfume around to make myself feel sexy before my husband gets home. I’ll also make an effort to be flirty and giggly, because getting a laugh out of my husband makes me feel insanely sexy. No idea why.

It may sound very ‘Stepford Wives’ (and make no mistake, Gavin is quite regularly subjected to a less than preened version of myself), but every now and then I will go out of my way to look hot. There are usually two people I will do this for, and no I’m not about to divulge some weird, sordid secret. The two very important people in my life that I speak of are: My husband. And MYSELF.

As women, we all know the value of feeling sexy in our own skin. We all have our rituals for beauty and we all have our rituals for sexy. Usually the sexy is reserved for the bedroom. But I say make sexy apart of your lifestyle. When we feel sexy, we act sexy and when we act sexy, we want sex. Nine times out of ten, the man in your life is going to spot these signs and pounce on you like a lion with a steak.

And I’ll let you all in on a secret… Nothing has made me feel as smokin’ hot and sexy as I do, now that I’m Gavin’s wife.

So ladies, I’ve told you mine… now it’s time for you to tell me yours.

What are your thoughts on sex after marriage?

Do you think you’ll have sex on your wedding night? And for the wives out there… did you even have sex on your wedding night?

What makes you feel at your sexiest? Matching underwear? Killer heels? A flirty smile from your man?

Lots of I-can’t believe-I-just-talked-about-sex-on-Rock-My-Wedding Love,

Naomi

P.S. How delighted am I to be writing on these polka dot pages again?! I’ve missed you all.

To neatly bring everything to a close we asked Lauren from Grace And Gable (who’s vintage winter shoot you may remember from December) to put together some inspirational mood boards to represent the 50′s, 60′s, 70′s and 80′s.

If you are planning a wedding, party, event – or are even thinking about re-decorating your home and want to draw on inspiration from one of these decades, Lauren’s visions are sure to plant a few ideas into your retro loving minds. Take it away Lauren…

Defining A Decade.

When Charlotte and Adam asked me to pull together these moodboards for retro week, I looked for images that displayed elegance, finesse or a certain joie de vivre that truly reflected each decade. What you’ll see here is a selection of each era’s ‘top picks’ where some of the images reflect the style of the period and others represent our modern day interpretation of the ‘best of the past’. That said, what defines a decade for one person may mean nothing to another and this is simply my perspective. Let me know what you think…

The 1950′s

The 50’s is perhaps one of my most loved eras and thus my favourite in this series. The age just oozes quality, femininity and a departure from the austerity of the 1940’s. I love how this era is so creatively stimulating which means it’s so easy to visualise ideas for a modern take on the vintage experience.

I must confess that I am a little worried for the chap stringing up lights so very near the pool. Health and Safety clearly wasn’t a priority then. Lastly, look at that panoramic shot of the family near the bottom of the board – doesn’t it make your heart want to sing.


1950′s Credits.

Peonies by Elena Kovyrzina | Green Lady | Frenchies sign | Woman on car | Two pink ladies | Cocktails with flags | Telephone | Green hat lady | Cakes | Chevron tile | Mallory Chair | Fan | Stationery | Panoramic Family – by Vogue | Car by Pool ‘Presenting the 1961 Thunderbird’ | Pink Cocktail – By Romula Yanes

The 1960′s

I’ve deliberately steered away from peace signs and campervan images although the ‘no hippies’ sign is a subtle nod to them. Instead I’ve focussed on the more glamorous side of the 1960’s – think Brigitte Bardot, Jackie O and the decadence of air travel. Pan AM anyone?

And I can’t finish without mentioning the amazing attitude of those 1960’s girls. I think the picture of the women posing in the windows sums it all up. They know exactly what they want and they’re going to get it, and if could get away with wearing what I can only describe as a skin-tight romper suit then I so would!


1960′s Credits.

Nightie | Roomscape | Champagne glasses | Pool | Chair | Hippie sign | Woman with camera | Butlers Tray | Tuxedo man | Women hairdo | Camera | Record player | Drink | Romper Suit | Orange chair | Girls in windows by Ormond Gigli

The 1970′s

Whenever I look back at photos of the 1970’s (courtesy of my mother or Pinterest – thank you), they always seem to be covered with a haze of gold dust. Metaphorically you could say this was a golden age, before the hard-nosed minimalist aesthetic of the 80’s made its appearance, or perhaps more simply this was a result of how photos were processed back then. Either way, I wanted the colour scheme and many of the images to reflect this golden hue, hence the jug, cutlery, light pendant and even the decadent lounging area – which I secretly love by the way.

And whilst Wolfmother is not technically a band from this era I just had to include the image as it screamed 70’s to me. Just look at that font go!


1970′s Credits.

Bride and Groom – Brown Photography | Floppy hat | Roomscape Design – Elizabeth Gordon | Wedding car – ‘My Little Pinto’ by Island Gardener | Swimming woman – Michelangelo Di Battista | Glass cups | Cutlery | Girl by window – sessùn collection Autumn Winter 2011 | Walking woman | Light | Kodak Camera | Jug | Desk | Wolfmother by Barton Damer

The 1980′s

This concoction of images represents my view of the 80’s or rather my memories of it. As a youngster growing up in the 1980’s, there’s a split in the moodboard between a more childlike interpretation – see the rollerskates and pretty pink princess dress – and the boxy, businesswoman shapes of the high fashion images that remind me of my mum in this era. If this board had ‘smellovision’, the scent of Christian Dior’s ‘Poison’ would now be emanating from your computer screen. I know all eras have any number of defining styles but this IS the 80’s for me.

As for the relevance of Mr Cruise… ok I confess to having a bit of a crush on ol’ Tom in Top Gun, so he just had to make his way onto the board. Tom in Top Gun does epitomise the 80s after all… Doesn’t he?

1980′s Credits.

Pink dress & Converse | Rollerskates – Danielle Thompson | The Cure | Model with Cigarette – Helmut Lang | Nike hightops | Glittery handbags – Edie parker | Yellow bodycon – Vintage Helmut Lang | Yellow bike | Stationery | Record Player & vinyl | Tape stationery | Tom Cruise – Topgun | Graffiti girl | Punk

Much RMW love goes out to Lauren from Grace And Gable for this decade spanning smorgasbord of inspiration. We Love these BIG BIG mood boards at Rock My Wedding.

So, which one is your favourite era? And How would you define each decade? Please leave as a note and let us know what you think – and if you do you’ll stand the chance of winning a super-duper retro camera or notebook from lomography.com.

We have been giving them away lomography.com treats week, but unfortunately this is your last chance to get your retro mitts on one – so leave some love

Adam.

And then there’s the products they use. I am now a fully fledged convert to Milkshake hairspray thanks to its immense hold capabilities but almost imperceptible presence…. Elnett who?

Sev and Roz are here today on the other side of the screen (*waves*) to give you gorgeous lot not only some super styling tips but also answer ANY questions you may have regarding your W-day hair woes.

Take it away experts!

Hepburn Collection: Hair and make-up is usually one of the last things to get booked yet it’s one of the first things people will see when you walk down the aisle, so ensure you don’t leave it too late to begin your research. We would suggest that once you know the style of your dress, start to think about how you would like to wear your hair.

Finding Your Style

The first question to ask yourself is “What type of bride am I?” Do you want to be a classically elegant bride? Perhaps you see yourself as a romantic bride or a boho bride? Or are you more a vintage style bride? We cannot reiterate enough to brides that this is your day and naturally you want to be a beautiful bride, but this doesn’t mean that you should conform to a stereotype. Think carefully about who you are as a person; your personality and your style. If you’ve never liked your hair up, then don’t feel that you need to wear your hair up on your wedding day!

Do Your Homework

Once you are happy with an idea of a hairstyle, start to collect images as reference. You can always narrow them down later if you have too many. Present this to your hairdresser along with the image of your dress. This helps both you and your stylist determine the right style for the day – particularly if you’re using a different hair stylist for the day. He/she will need to get to know you and understand what you’re looking for. They will take into consideration the shape of your face, discuss your best features and the one’s that you are not so fond of. It’s so important that you connect as you are putting your total trust in this person and they will be with you on the morning of your big day so you have to be 100% happy! Don’t be afraid to do your research – one of the best ways of finding a hairdresser is through recommendation. Also ask to see their portfolio of work but make sure they have plenty of real brides pictures; images of shoots are great but they are not the ‘real’ thing.

Hair by Hepburn Collection, Photography by Nobu Yamaguchi

The Trial Run

Once you’ve found a hairdresser it’s time to book your trial. It’s a good idea to book the trial at least 3-4 months before the big day. In the event that the style you had in mind doesn’t suit you, you still have plenty of time to research again. Many of our brides ask us if they can bring a friend or mum on the trial day. Our answer is always yes but we suggest that brides restrict it just one or two people as too many can be a little overwhelming. It’s important that you’re not pressured into thinking you have to have your hair accessories with you on the day. It may be that you don’t need accessories at all and this can be determined after the trial once you’ve decided on the style. Once you have found a good stylist they will be able to advise on what would look right.

Hair TLC

We all live busy lives, especially when organising a wedding! However, it’s important to keep in mind that if you don’t look after yourselves, this will have a knock on effect on the hair. Apart from eating your five fruit and veg daily with plenty of water, we would recommend treating yourself to a course of deep conditioning treatments at least 2-3 months before the wedding. If you can afford to it’s recommended that you visit your salon, otherwise you can buy some excellent treatments over the counter. Please though, don’t do this the night before your wedding day as you will have one unhappy stylist – the hair will be too soft and slippery! Apply once a week and book your last treatment a few days before.

Decide on the colour you would like approximately three months prior to the wedding day and stick with it! Your final colour should be applied 1 – 2 weeks before. It’s fine to have your hair trimmed but liaise with your hairdresser who will be styling your hair on your wedding day. 

Hair by Hepburn Collection, Photography by Nobu Yamaguchi

On The Day

On your wedding day, most stylists will advise on NO conditioner. They will bring their own hair products on the day that are designed to hold the style whilst adding shine. It’s the one piece of information that we strongly advise. Your hairdresser needs to have total control over the hair and conditioner can make it too soft and unmanageable.

Once your hair and make-up is complete, we take a step back to allow the bride to get into her dress. Once in her dress we check the hair one last time, attach the veil (if wearing one) and then voila – our job is done!

For further information on Hepburn Collection, visit www.hepburncollection.com

Hair by Hepburn Collection, Photography courtesy of St Ermins Hotel

So then lovelies…. go forth and ask away, not only will you gain some useful advice but you could also be in with a chance of winning some lomography camera greatness…

Charlotte xxx

I haven’t been since I was a teenager but after seeing the Parisian engagement shoot of Jen and Jamie captured by the uber talented Sarah Gawler, I am sorely tempted to make a return visit ASAP, especially if I can run around the streets in a variety of flirty frocks, do some kissing on a train, and accessorise with a bunch of hot pink ranunculus…

And that was before I actually read Jen’s accompanying heartfelt account of their time together:

“Jamie is profoundly deaf, and asking a deaf man to dance in the street, in front of a small crowd, to music he couldn’t even hear was no mean feat, but once we got going we had a great time and we both love the shots Sarah got.”

And it just goes to show that you can do anything, ANYTHING as long as you’ve got that special someone there by your side….

Dance like no-ones watching lovelies.

Jen: Jamie and I went to Paris the first year we met in 2002 and just fell in love with the place. We have been back a few times since, so having our engagement shoot there with one of our best friends, and an amazing photographer, Sarah Gawler was just perfect.

I am NEVER ready on time (one of the things Jamie DOESN’T love about me!) so when we arrived in Paris, I had to spend 3 hours hand-sewing 8 metres of bright yellow netting onto the underskirt of my un-finished dress that my friend, and amazing dress designer, Debbi Little made for me.

It was made from recycled 1950′s parachutes and my bridesmaids will be wearing the same at our wedding, but in brighter colours of course!

When we eventually got out and about, no sooner had we stepped out of the metro and into a garden centre to buy some flowers, than a rouge parrot landed on the side of my head and proceeded to flap and scrabble around whilst trying to get its balance.

The garden centre owner had to free it from my hair, which had become tangled around its legs. My hair was ruined and I had mascara running down my face from laughing so much (and panicking slightly!) but we managed to work it into a shot and it was just the funniest start to the day…

Isle St Louis, a tiny island in the middle of the River Seine is our favourite spot. It has one main street filled with chocolate shops, trinket shops, galleries and cosy bistros. They also have the best ice-cream shop where they make your ice cream into a big flower and we just had to include it in the shoot. Normally we get one each, but shared one for for the photo-shoot to add a touch of romance! That’s the first and last time we are sharing!

That is also where we got the dancing on the bridge pictures, Jamie is profoundly deaf, and asking a deaf man to dance in the street, in front of a small crowd, to music he couldn’t even hear was no mean feat, but once we got going we had a great time and we both love the shots Sarah got.

Sarah made us so relaxed and filled us with confidence so by the end of the shoot we were kissing on the street, kissing in the metro… It was so much fun and we have a set of photos that we will treasure forever. The pictures we have really capture the atmosphere of Paris that we love so much and freeze-frame so many special memories for us as a couple. Now we can’t wait to have Sarah take the photos on our wedding day!

Thank you lovely Sarah for a truly memorable trip…..Jamie and Jen x

If I were Jen and Jamie I would have that last black and white image blown up huge and covering my entire kitchen/bedroom/living room (delete as appropriate) wall.

And this weekend I’m damn well booking that trip to Paris.

With massive thanks to Jen, Jamie and Sarah Gawler for sharing the magic with Rock My Wedding.

Big Lump In My Throat Love

Charlotte xxx

Mariam Jensen: A few years back I was in your shoes. I remember buying all the magazines, going to the shows, studying The Knot as if it was the bible. I was a little overwhelmed with all that had to be booked and still stressed over the one thing most people expect me to do myself – my makeup!

As a makeup artist I toyed with doing my own, but then there was a big part of me that wanted to have the whole pampered wedding experience. A very good MUA friend of mine offered to do my makeup and my bridal party, so it was a no-brainer. It was so nice to sit back, sip a glass of champagne and even do a few of my bridesmaids’ makeup to cut the nerves! In the end everyone felt and looked amazing, which really showed in our pictures.

Gowns by Beverly Lister, Photography by Nobu Yamaguchi

Makeup is really important for ensuring a bride and her bridal party look and feel great! The makeup looks should be harmonious, complementing the bride and bridesmaids, bringing out their best features.

Not everyone’s budget will allow for a makeup artist so I recommend brides do a little research about products, looks and colours that will look good on them for their wedding day. The best way a bride on a budget can learn is through private makeup lessons, consultations at makeup counters and even research on the net. Keep in mind too that good makeup doesn’t have to break the bank, most makeup artists use and recommend products that vary in price from inexpensive to those that are a bit of a splurge!

Some makeup artists offer private lessons and tutoring, this is a really cost-effective way of learning how to do makeup, but also pick up the professional hints and tricks for ensuring your makeup looks it’s best on your most important of days. A lot of my clients who are getting married overseas choose this option as sometimes there is no budget for flying out their makeup artist.

If you do have a budget for hair and makeup, that’s great! This will alleviate the stress of concealing imperfections and applying your false eyelashes on your big day! It’s also great to have a pro on hand to apply a flawless base, but also bring out your best features – making you feel and look like a million dollars!

I highly recommend researching for the right makeup artist for you. Check out recommendations from friends and vendors, the artist’s websites/portfolio, their work in the press, and check out their credentials to see if they fit the bill. Chances are there is an artist or two that would be appealing to you so I would get in touch and perhaps have a chat with them to see if you think they might be a person to have a trial with.

Some really important things to consider when it comes to makeup for your wedding day is:

Is this product waterproof?

Will my foundation last throughout the day?

Does the foundation transfer (not good with a white dress!)?

Do I feel comfortable in the makeup?

How does the makeup photograph?

Do I feel comfortable with my makeup artist?

Do I feel like I am able to do my makeup well myself?

Keep in mind you will need to emphasize your makeup a little more than usual to have it looking its best on your wedding day. The makeup look you go for should not be a stark contrast to how you usually wear your makeup. For example, if you have never worn red lipstick before, your wedding day probably wouldn’t be the best time to experiment with a new look. The same goes with dark, smokey eyes – there is a good chance that you will feel overdone is you have never worn this look before.

When I sit down with a client to design a makeup look for their wedding, I always look at the dress and hair for inspiration for the makeup. This is the same creative process that I go through in my professional work, whether you are working with a model, celebrity, or bride. If the dress and hair has a more bohemian, distressed feel I almost always recommend a soft, sultry eye with gorgeous flawless skin. Then again with a more classic dress and hairstyle, liquid eyeliner and a more defined lip will usually look great. The best things about this process is no two brides are the same and even though some looks have common-threads, they are always bespoke.

Gowns by Beverly Lister, Photography by Nobu Yamaguchi

To get your skin looking it’s best, I recommend:

Drinking at least two litres of water a day to flush out your system

Get facials at least once a month, doing your last one no later than 10 days before your wedding (to prevent breakouts).

Keep caffeine consumption at reasonable levels, too much is not good for the skin.

I am a huge fan of Kim Snyder’s Beauty Detox book and drink her Glowing Green Smoothie nearly every day, I kid you not, you will feel great and your skin will glow!

If you have skin concerns such as acne, try seeing a dermatologist early on to tackle future breakouts and to ensure your skin looks its best for the wedding.

Get into the habit of a good skincare routine for day and night. Not only will this make your skin look and feel better, you will also be protecting your skin – helping to keep it looking its best. Skincare doesn’t need to be expensive to be good, just get into the habit of properly cleansing (not makeup wipes), toning, treat (if needed), and moisturizing. As Shu Uemura said, “Beautiful makeup starts with beautiful skin.”

Please feel free to ask me absolutely anything about make-up and skincare, I look forward to your questions!

Mariam Jensen x

You can see more of Mariam’s stunning work on her website www.mariamjensen.com

There is a rather epic tale attached to how I came to buy three wedding dresses. It’s not because I’m greedy (promise!) but more due to my being a very misguided and indecisive bride.

After I got engaged, I became rather overwhelmed (and obsessed) with not looking like a typical bride. I didn’t feel like a bride. In fact I sort of became the anti bride. I didn’t want a veil, I didn’t want a meringue-esque dress, I didn’t want a tiara. I didn’t want tulle, or taffeta, or satin. I didn’t want layers of netting. Or sparkly bits. Or ruching. So when I bit the bullet and went to my first bridal shop you can imagine the service I received when I listed all the things on my ‘do not want’ list, frosty to say the least!

I’d done my research though, I knew what I did want, and that was lace. I’d looked online at the current collections and knew I would probably be a Charlotte Balbier bride, I liked that she is a British designer and I loved every dress in her collection. I just wanted a really boho look, tousled hair and simplistic styling.
Going to a bridal shop was a big thing for me. I’ve mentioned her before in many of my What Jenny Did posts, because I like to keep her memory alive, the bridal shop experience was somewhat bitter sweet because my Mum passed away the year before I got engaged. So I went alone, and I was nervous, anxious and frankly a little terrified! So many mothers and daughters in these places…

The lace dress I tried was not good. Not good at all. I was too curvy. I resolved to never try on another lace dress as long as I lived, and to try another bridal boutique, but take someone with me for moral support!

The first dress was tried on, and I felt relieved. It was a British designer and made me feel like a size 8 so it ticked all the boxes. No more dress shopping! Deposit paid, dress ordered. Job done.

It was still over a year until the big day though. And I had major dress wobblage.

The hype over Chinese made wedding dresses got me interested, I am an ebay addict, and saw a dress I considered to be worthy of wearing… it was 99p. Shipping was £99. I ordered it – and when it arrived I was flabberghasted at the quality. I wasn’t prepared for how much I would love it, and I loved it more than the first dress. Opening a huge can of worms here, indecision was kicking in. What dress was I going to wear? Would I feel confident wearing a dress that cost me so little?

Then I made the mistake of visiting another bridal boutique in search of a veil.

I didn’t end up buying a veil.

I ended up buying another dress.

A lace dress. Avec sparkly bits.

So that’s three dresses.

Mr O was of the impression that I might have had some sort of unofficial dress buying disorder, and wondered if I was of a sound mind!

I couldn’t get out of buying the first dress. They wouldn’t give me my deposit back, the dress was made to order so I had to commit to spending the money.
The second dress I was a bit crafty and sold it on eBay, making myself a few extra bob.

The third dress was THE ONE, I picked it up with weeks to spare and it didn’t need any altering what so ever. I resolved to my nearest and dearest that yes I would stop looking at wedding dresses, and yes I promise I will not under any circumstances purchase another wedding dress.

Then seven weeks before the wedding, whilst on a hen do in Oxford, I discovered I was pregnant! (cue visions of me waddling up the aisle with a huge bump with a dress that wouldn’t do up at the back). Worst case scenario I would be 15 weeks pregnant on the big day. Best case scenario I would be 11 weeks. I wouldn’t know until I had my first dating scan.

This is when I visited my ‘go to’ party dress website, Vivien of Holloway. My stomach would be very well concealed in a circle dress. It turns out that my first scan showed I was not as far on as my dates had implied, and my 12 week scan was the day before the wedding! My tummy was uncomfortable under tight clothing, so I decided to wear the third dress for the ceremony, then change into the VoH dress once we had announced Baby O was on his way. Comfort, and not yacking up was my primary concern (amazing how your priorities change when pregnant and planning a wedding) Turns out I didn’t need to change at all, my wedding dress was so comfy, I think you can see a hint of a swollen tummy, but considering there was a very active baby growing in there I didn’t mind one bit.

So that’s the story of Three and a half dresses.

With the benefit of hindsight, and experience, I wish I had considered looking into buying a second hand dress. I recently looked through a few bridal boutiques offering second hand designer dresses and I found an unworn Amanda Wakely, a few Sottero & Midgelys and an immaculate Alan Hannah, for a mere fraction of the cost of a new dress.

I wish I had been a little more savvy with my money and just spent a few more hours looking around, and weighing up my options.

I rushed into that first dress, bought the second dress out of curiosity, bought the third dress by accident, and the Vivien of Holloway out of necessity.

I still feel a little nauseous when I think of the money I have wasted. And what my Mum would have thought…..

I’ve been trying to sell it for over a year now, on many dress sites, and still it goes unworn. I’ve dropped it into my local bridal boutique for them to sell (and take an obscene percentage of the sale), and have drawn a line under the whole wedding dress issue.

So ladies, please don’t find yourself in my situation – but if you do it’s alright. I found THE dress for me eventually, and live to tell the tale. I just rushed into making a decision without thinking it through properly. A rather misguided and naïve bride to be! Oh how much I learnt about myself whilst planning my big day, it really is life changing – I find myself haggling over the price of crisps these days! (I love crisps).

Since making it through the wedding planning process unscathed (without any grey hair to speak of) I love my dress but I wish I had followed my heart and had the balls to wear something that totally represented my initial anti bride feelings. Who says you have to walk up the aisle in a long white dress? The pressure placed upon brides to conform to what is socially acceptable cheeses me off sometimes. We’re not all born with the ‘bride’ gene. Not all of us want to do the ‘step together step together’ walk up the aisle in an ivory gown. There is nothing wrong with pushing the boundaries, and doing what the heck ever you want to do. Don’t listen to the people that scoff at your ideas, do whatever makes your heart sing.

Jenny xx

It’s been a while since we’ve included anything ‘moon related on RMW. And the reason for that is…no idea. It’s almost as if it comes secondary to us, which is not exactly surprising considering we are essentially a wedding blog. But here’s the thing you see, is the honeymoon not quite as important as the big day to the vast majority of brides? if I’m honest it wasn’t to me. And if I’m even more honest after the W-day spend I wasn’t sure how we could even afford to go on the “holiday of a lifetime”.

Well um… we couldn’t. And instead had a “mini-moon” in Mykonos which was mostly funded via our “gift list” – i.e. guests made contributions to an account set up by an independent travel company local to us that went towards the cost of flights and accommodation.

Not to downplay our week away (we had a super time ta) but we have actually never gone on what was supposed to be our proper honeymoon. Setting up a new business venture whilst working full time didn’t help obviously but still, after talking at length about the road trip across the US we were going to embark on some weeks after saying “I do” I am more than a little sad we never made more of an effort to make the necessary savings and sacrifices to just DO IT.

But at the time the wedding was more important. And we simply didn’t have the money.

Anyway what is the point of this post I hear you ask….well then, it’s to ask you gorgeous lot a few things that will be handy for Team RMW to know for future content (and anyone else who has a ‘moon/money dilemma and is in need of some advice)

Advance Warning: – there may be more than a few questions here, please don’t feel obliged to answer them all.

Overall would you say the ‘moon does come secondary to the big day?

From getting engaged did you allocate a budget to your honeymoon as per you did for W-day?

I know the whole contribution towards honeymoon as a gift list scenario is certainly more commonplace now but has anyone still got reservations on this option as per the whole “asking for money” debate?

Like me have you chosen a mini-moon and are you in favour of saving the pennies for the future where you are planning on doing the whole “BIG” trip?

Talking of BIG trip do you think there is a certain pressure/expectation that the holiday after your wedding should be some uber fancy gettaway when actually why can’t we have a more significant holiday whenever we want one?

Any of you favouring a budget friendly retreat in the UK rather than flying across several thousand miles of ocean for your break?

Have you deliberately not advised your travel agent it is a honeymoon to see if you can avoid the ahem premium that may be added on as a result?

And last but not least, would you like to see a wee bit more ‘Moon action on RMW in the future? and if so, what kind of things would be helpful/useful?

Your feedback is as always, muchos appreciated lovelies.

And just so I haven’t left you with a heap of text and absolutely no pretty have you SEEN the new spring collection on H & M?! so cool! so ruddy cheap!

Two of my favourite items:

Mesh Jumper - £14.99, looks ace thrown over a vest top with jeans, would look equally lovely over your swimwear I imagine. They also do it in white and pale grey of which I have both. (By the way – anyone know how you go about doing that sexy head scarf thing like the model without looking like Mrs Mop?)

Crochet Bikini - £19.98 for top and briefs. This is underwired, fully lined and divine. Seriously – one the nicest bikinis I own, so flattering. They also do it in white…. yes yes I have both colours. A little piece of advice – I find the bikini tops come up particularly small so I always go up a size.

Further warnings, making a visit to H & M on-line is a bit like a tube of pringles, once you pop shop you just can’t stop.

Big Looking Forward To Hearing What You Have To Say Love

Charlotte xxx

So… I’m only a month into planning and it seems to be going really well so far, got the venue, picked my dress, narrowed our choice of photographers down to two and booked our catering tasting. All of these things have been a breeze but I have a couple of things niggling my little brain….

1. Money – I just don’t know how we are going to pay for all of this….and we are making big cuts!! let’s just hope all of my DIY bits and pieces are going to look fabulous.

2. Family - As my Mum and Dad are divorced… and I am born worrier, I REALLY hope they get on well on the day and set my mind to rest. The day is about Malc and I so just for twenty four hours I want them to be friends again.

3. My bonce - One of our cut backs is hair and make-up, I am pretty nifty with a comb so I’m doing all my bridesmaids hair do’s and my own too. My sister is planning on waking me up at 4am (to get me back for getting her up on her day!) so I’m pretty sure I will have enough time but I hope I’m not having a bad hair day and it looks well… rubbish!

4. My wibbly belly – I hope I trim down and fit into my dress!

I think I’m probably a bit early to be worrying about these things but I just can’t help it, it’s such an important day and you only do it once so naturally I want it to go smoothly. Although as previously mentioned I am a born worrier, I do know how to brush things off and just get on so hopefully my laid back approach will shine through on the day…

(Fingers, legs, arms crossed…)

So how about you lovely brides to be, any niggling worries whilst planning? Or if you are in married bliss already, did you have any worries and did your day go as smoothly as you wished??

Lots of (hopefully) laid back love

Vix
xx

My first pet name for Mr O’Shea was Manboy, this was because at the grand old age of 22 he had the 6ft 1″ height and broad shoulders of a very manly erm… man but was still very much the proud owner of distinctly boyish good looks. And for a laugh I used to sometimes sing that Britney Spears song to him but change the appropriate lyrics “You’re not a boy, not yet a maaaannnnn, all I need is time, a moment that is mine….”

Know the one?

No?

Oh.

Moving. swiftly. on.

Anyways, Mr O’Shea is a whole 18 months younger than me. He is my toy-boy boy-toy. My younger man arm-candy.

I’m kidding obviously, with such a small age gap I hardly ever give it a second thought and only yesterday I was out having cocktails with my friend Jo who told me that her husband was 3 years younger than her. A few months ago a young lady I recruited whilst at my day job informed me that her partner was 8 years younger than she. Can’t say I thought much about that at the time either. And never in a month of Sundays would I stop to think we are entering into some kind of Cougar territory.

So the question is, when does an age gap become questioned? when is an age gap deemed so significant that the media get a hold of it and label a relationship “disgusting” and the victims receive death threats on Twitter?

In preparation for the festive season I have treated myself to a bit of pampering of late, my roots are now newly white-blonde and my once flaking nails are now neat and tidy and a flattering shade of luminous charcoal. And whilst I was receiving these beauty treats I indulged in one of my guilty pleasures – a flick through the various celebrity gossip magazines.

There seemed to be two hot topics, the impending divorce of Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher and the alleged romance between Xfactor presenter Caroline Flack and member of One Direction pop starlet Harry Styles.

The general consensus of the former is that the age gap (16 years if my sources serve me correctly) meant that Mr Kutcher was inevitably at some point going to go searching for a younger model. The latter has seen a whole host of journalists whip out the hot pokers for a good old prod at 32 year old Madam Flack and her 17 year old boyfriend of choice.

Some of it has been really really mean. And spiteful. And frankly all a bit unnecessary.

Yes I know if these people are in the public eye they are invariably going to get talked and written about at every available opportunity but death threats? seriously?

There was one particular piece on a newspaper website written by a female journo about Caroline and Harry that made me very angry indeed. It was just so venomous and nasty, and no – I’m pretty sure she had never even met either of the couple or had the first clue about their private affairs.

Who does except the people actually involved anyway?

I am a similar age to Flack, and to be honest I can’t imagine ever dating someone who was seventeen, when I was seventeen I didn’t want to date anyone that was seventeen but then perhaps the boys in my class were unusually immature.

The point I am making is that the above statement is just my experience, who’s to say Mr Styles isn’t the nicest, most mature, most charasmatic and entertaining male Madam Flack has ever had the pleasure of meeting? Perhaps they have a right old laugh together. Perhaps they spend hours discussing shared interests or the state of the economy, perhaps they exchange tips on what makes their chestnut barnets so darn shiny…. I really don’t know, and it’s none of my ruddy business.

What I do know is that if they are in a relationship then that is the choice of two consenting adults, who lets face it, could have their pick of many a groupie – similar age or not.

As for Ashton and Demi well, I don’t think age can ever be the only reason behind the breakdown of a marriage.

This topic caused a very heated discussion at the O’Shea dinner table the other night, there was much arm flapping (him) and fist banging (me). And although I don’t consider myself much of a feminist yes I did bring up the whole what-if-it-was-the-other-way-around-and-it-was-the-man-that-was-older scenario.

So folks, what are your thoughts?

Is your betrothed a toy-boy boy-toy?

Has any of the recent media coverage of the aforementioned romances made you mad?

And is age just a number or are there gaps that are just well… that bit too wide.

I think this could get interesting.

Big I’m Looking Forward to Your Thoughts Love

Charlotte xxx

Dave and Laura were engaged after 3 months because they just knew. And I guess sometimes it just kind of happens like that.

Killer curves, carrot cake, Camden, the perfect floral print tea-dress and the most amazing lashes I have ever seen……Fall in love at first sight folks.

With thanks to Laura Babb for sending us this lovely Tuesday treat.

Laura: David and I met in a sticky indie club in Southampton called Lennons, in November last year. Our eyes met as we drunkenly sang along to ‘This Charming Man’ by the Smiths and boom, that was it, literally instant love. We got engaged after 3 months! I knew, within about 2 weeks that this was the person I was going to marry. Both of us have been in long-term relationships before without a sniff of an engagement, but we sort of crashed into each other with an intensity that you can’t explain unless you’ve felt it yourself.

We aren’t even particularly alike – I like tattoos, Led Zeppelin, trash tv and have a slight obsession with daschunds. David is cerebral, enjoys the outdoors, is a secret 80s cheese-music fan and former Tory voter (ok I admit it, I used to be too… ). Yet none of our differences, whether in taste or personality, mattered – in fact they highlight how much we fit together, like sticklebricks.

Oh, and we both have a healthy appreciation for Jagerbombs! We knew it was going to be somewhat unexpected to most. Maybe not to the people who really knew us as a couple.. but we had had many long conversations whilst walking between David’s house and mine about our future, and it was pretty much set in stone that it would be ‘when’ and not ‘if’.

My birthday is the 7th of February, the weekend before that we had gone ‘to look at’ rings. I fell in love with a beautiful old diamond ring, the very first one I saw, and though I tried on quite a few others, none matched up to it. So it was bought, but remade in exactly the same style, in rose gold, so it was a mix of the old and the new. Incidentally, the jewelers was the same that my parents and grandparents had got their wedding rings from!

So… I knew that The Ring was being made, but I didn’t know when The Actual Proposal was coming.

As it happened, it was on my birthday, over a champagne cocktail in a gorgeous bar in Southampton, before we met up with my family for dinner. I couldn’t understand why David was in such an odd mood before we got there!

The ring was presented to me in a tiny purse covered with daisies (my absolute favourite) as the final mini-present (I had been given flowers, a tiny knitted dog on a key-ring etc). David was facing into the room while I faced the wall and I’m told that the entire bar/restaurant staff had gathered at the bar behind me to watch!

It was such a surprise, and so thoughtfully done. I couldn’t have been happier, and floated on air off to dinner with all the family to proudly show it off”

We fit together…. like Sticklebricks.

*sighs*

Any of you lovelies embarking on a whirlwind engagement/wedding?

Big Sometimes You Just Know Love

Charlotte xxx