I am the third wheel on the Rock My Wedding tricycle of wedding dreams… and am usually kept locked in a cupboard with a MacBook, but sometimes If I have something important to say I am allowed to come out and play on the blog. So here I am!

This is a post about stag do activities…. well actually it’s about a specific activity. It’s about the place where all men go whilst away on a stag do. (No, not the kebab house…. the other place). Hold on to your hats, here we go…

The Prologue:

It sounds a lot like an old bad joke…… “So, there’s a webdesigner, a computer programmer and an accountant in a stripclub….” But, aside from bearing a passing resemblance to a scene from the film “Weird Science” this is not a joke, it is real life.

So why are we there? (Yes one of the geeks is me, can you spot which one?…) We are there because the accountant is due to get married in a couple of weeks and this is what you do… isn’t it?

None of us are regular strip club patrons, for everyone in attendance this is an activity saved exclusively for stag time and as we stand there in our comedy stag do t-shirts we assume this fact is blissfully apparent to everyone around us. We stick out, or at least we think we stick out like the proverbial sore thumb. None of us seem that keen either, so what compelled us to come here? Was it the fear that if we didn’t come then the stag would feel let down, or that the wild stag stories that we would tell for years to come would not have the same impact had we not completed the mandatory pilgrimage to the nearest Spearmint Rhino/For Your Eyes Only/Stringfellows…..etc.

The truth is that we came here for fear of all those reasons, and for those of you not familiar with your basic lapdance club scenario, it is as follows:

The Setup:

There are tables and chairs, and a stage. And girls. The girls will be taking it in turns to perform their routine and whilst not on stage they will be milling around scantily clad and chatting to you. If they are doing their job properly then you will feel that for some inexplicable reason you have just become the most interesting, funny and desirable bloke on the planet. Of course this is all a ploy to get you to part with some cash at the point when they casually ask you if you would like a private dance.

The Sale:

After a few drinks everyone is starting to loosen up and the initial apprehension regarding our surroundings has worn off. We get approached continually by various girls with various sales pitches, and at some point, just like when you got stopped by that brilliant young salesman whilst doing your saturday shopping and you ended up changing your gas supplier – you find yourself being escorted off for a private dance.

I know that sounds like i’m making an excuse for having a lapdance, but I’m not – I know I had a choice, but I have given some serious thought to the whole private dance thing and It really is a persuasive/persistent sell above anything else that will win you over. One of my friends, who will remain anonymous, summed it up beautifully when later that night he slurred:

“I didn’t even want a private dance…. and If I was going to have one it should have at least been with a girl who’s my type…….(points)…… like that one over there…..”

Anyway, everyone there had a private dance – because this is a stag do and that’s what you do, right? (More on that in a bit). So, onto the dance it’s self.

A Private Dance – A Brief description:

I was lead into a room that had seating against all the walls, some of which were occupied by guys already part way through their own private dances (so not that private then).

Before anything happened I was asked for the money, £20.00 in this instance although for an additional £5.00 I was informed that the dance could be made more “intimate”. I plumped for “regular” and so it began. within a few seconds I had a boob placed about 2 inches away from my face, the girl was just sort of holding it there as if this was some kind of inspection. Then she switched and I got the other one for a bit…. then there was some jigging about (and some jiggling about I might add), then she showed me some “other things” in an equally matter-of-fact manner and after about 2 minutes it was all over. Seriously that was how it went…..

Conclusion:

…So to sum up, I guess you may have realised by now that I am not a huge fan of lapdance clubs, and I find a private dance to be a far more awkward and embarrassing experience than anything remotely approaching erotic. So why do it at all? I guess I’m a stag do sheep. Plain and simple.

I’m going to finish with a little poll (or maybe that should be pole?)

Firstly, I want to ask you ladies what you think about the tradition of the stag do strip club pilgrimage? Do you accept it is part and parcel of the whole event? How do you feel about the whole private dance issue, and is your other half going to be in trouble if/when you find out what he has been up to?…. or would you rather just not know at all?

Secondly, and I’m not expecting a fantastic response to this one, are there any guys out there with an opinion on my account? Any one brave enough to share there own thoughts and experiences of “Gentlemans” clubs? I’m sure that would get a decent cross gender discussion going…..

Ok, I’ve lit the blue touch paper… I am now walking away from the blog to a safe distance.

…If anyone wants me I will be back in my cupboard.

Adam.

Oh look – Adam’s back.

Big Telling it Like it is Love

The RMW Team x

So we promised a little something for the boys now and then from us here at Rock My Wedding and there’s a little something I’m pretty sure our usual readers will enjoy too. I know that flowers can often be a really big part of a Brides planning, and a fab way of getting your groom involved in that is to let him decide on his boutonniere, and maybe that of his best man and ushers too.

However, you should all know by now, we’re not all about the traditional here, and whilst we know you can find loads of pictures of various different buttonholes by leafing through our real weddings sections I thought I’d talk about something a little different here, something I think is super cool – could save you money with the DIY option and really stamp some originality on your day by displaying your personality on his lapel… And where else would I find heaps of originality and handmade chic but Etsy?

Let him Strut his Stuff

Fancy something chic, with jewel bright tones and a hint of natural glamour? How about these peacock boutonnieres from Eeek Designs? With a double feather design for the Groom and single feathers for the rest of the boys, I love the colours in this range, perfect for a green, blue or purple themed event.

Beachside Chic

If you are planning a beach get away wedding or are lucky enough to have a costal venue then why not extend the nautical theme with shells as part of the decor and even your mans button hole with these sand-dollar boutonnieres from Rationale – one of the most comprehensive sellers for different feather inspired boutonniere designs on Etsy – Definitely worth checking out if you like this post.

Natural Wonders…

Fancy a countryside eco-wedding with wild flowers galore? Put the boys in mix and match harvest themed floral fancies with varying colours and flowers from Sanctus Natura.

Want to celebrate the seasons with an autumnal affair? Use materials inspired by nature with dried seed pods, autumn leaves and berries to warm up proceedings with these little delights by April Hiler Designs.

More Favourites

I’m a sucker for a bird theme at a wedding, whether it be hummingbird pretty, or vintage bird themed why no extend that to this cute as a button little bird peeping out from amongst the oak leaves, from one of my Favourite sellers on Etsy, Which Goose.

Want to up the fun factor? How about some super quirky pinwheels in elegant yellow and grey for a fun-tastic celebration from Happily Ever After.

Thats enough for now but there are tons of seller making similar things on Etsy, or how about having a go at making your own? We’d love to hear about it if we’ve inspired you or maybe one day we’ll see these on your Groom brightening up the pages of Rock My Wedding?

Yours Truly,

Rebecca
xoxo

I’m Adam and this is my very first post – so if 1 or 2 of you could find it in your hearts to leave me a comment, I will at least feel that my maiden voyage into the blogosphere has not been a complete failure. (And nothing nasty please! Men have feelings too…)

We created “The Blogfather” with the grand idea of including a bit of “man stuff” here on the digital pages of Rock My Wedding. So far we haven’t really covered anything specifically for future grooms and frankly that is a bit of a shame. The majority of us men may not care to admit it, but we want a funky fresh and cool wedding too you know.

In fact, the RMW team have toyed with this concept for a while now, but as yet can’t quite decide on how best to approach the whole “man thing” – and that is where you come in.

I was thinking that the best way to find out what blokey wedding stuff RMW should be covering would be to simply ask the men who read RMW….. and this brings me neatly on to my first problem (major problem actually). A man has never yet commented on an RMW post. So I guess what I’m really asking is for all you ladies to have a sharp word with your Other Half To Be (or OHTB from now on).

Your task is to find out what sort of stuff might drag OHTB away from the football/cricket/darts!?/baywatch to visit RMW…. Does OHTB even care what he looks like on his wedding day? Is OHTB interested in the transport to/from the venue? Does OHTB have a secret fetish for designer bow tie and cummerbund sets, thus far struggling through life without the appropriate outlet for his dark, dark secret?…

Ok, that last example may be pushing the boundaries of reality somewhat, but you get the idea. All you future brides should feel free also to mention any topics that you would like to see covered from the “grooms perspective.” We are an equal opportunities blog after all and we certainly do not gender discriminate!

Drop me a comment with any suggestions and team RMW will get straight to work, and if in the process I can provoke even 1 single comment from a future groom, then I will consider my job here at RMW worthwhile!

Bye for now,

Adam. (not married)