By the Sunday night I had severe brain ache – looking for ways to cut back is hard work…….especially when we hadn’t really found many of the suppliers we needed or that made us go “Wow” or have half a clue how much the ones that eventually did would be.

But now there was a light ( a big shiny Notley Abbey shaped one) at the end of the tunnel and providing we both received our bonuses at the end of the year and were generally thrifty over the coming months we should be A-ok.

Although the prospect of not being able to indulge in my fortnightly make-up splurge was daunting – I am an actual marketer’s dream and official cosmetics junkie.

“Oh look that mascara will give me lashes like bambi!!! I must BUY IT NOW I tell you!!!…..”

“Oh brilliant that lipgloss will make my lips all pouty and bee stung just like Angelina…. etc etc”

(Yes I know I know….. incredibly shallow but completely true)

Anyway I digress.

So exhausted and happy we went to sleep safe in the knowledge that the next day we would be all booked up for our dream wedding and I could finally get underway with preparations.

Then the bomb dropped. A big “we are making redundancies” at James’s employers type bomb – that very Monday morning. James works in property so as this was really when the recession started to rear its ugly head his was the first industry to really suffer. James had already had a couple of friends lose their jobs and it had generally been a really difficult few months in the world of house building and selling.

It was the worst news of course – there was no way we could book Notley Abbey, what with the very real possibility of only one income in the very near future our only option was to wait and hope for the best.

It wouldn’t be until January that James would know for definite if he would be a casualty of the cut backs. So we took a deep breath, got a bit of perspective on the REALLY important things in life and for a little while at least put the wedding plans on hold and concentrated on celebrating Christmas and New Year with our friends and families.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

January 2009

A few weeks into the New Year and James called me at work to let me know he was pretty satisfied that his job would be fine – for a few months at least. He had been sensible enough to take out redundancy insurance when things started taking a nose dive and this had also kicked in at this stage.

Hoorah!

So my very kind and very understanding boss let me book the next day off for some intensive wedding planning – I would be ringing Notley to see if the 31st August was free and if not what alternative dates were. Then it would be a case of ringing around our guests and confirmed suppliers to see if they were available.

So I arrived at my Mum’s on Friday the 16th January with lots of phone numbers, a scrap book of things I had cut out of magazines for idea’s and a whole lotta hope.

Mum was the provider of many cups of tea, chocolate digestives ( the finally very real prospect of the slinky dress meant probably the last chance of anything remotely resembling a biscuit would be passing my lips so I ate like a whole packet ) and some much needed assistance.

Surprise surprise the 31st August was no longer free but they had had a few cancellations in June and July… oh and they had just the day before had a cancellation for Friday the 29th May -because it was just over four months away they were discounting this date by a hefty sum.

Goodness that was tempting, and erm scary quite frankly – four months to organise a wedding? almost from scratch?. I rang James and he was up for it if I was .….

Was I?

Well I did have the dress and the perfect venue, how hard could it be?? and with the extra savings we perhaps wouldn’t have to cut back as much as we originally thought.

So I rang our photographer Jordan, in fact out of all of the dates the ONLY one he was free was the 29th May, same with the band.

Then I rang the lovely Claire at Quello, she had got straight onto AW and yes they could have it with me by the end of April…..

All of our guests – 60 of our nearest and dearest were all free…..

Fate?

I think so.

So in just over 4 months I would be Mrs Charlotte Ann O’Shea and I was the happiest (albeit with one hell of a busy schedule) girl in the world

The remainder of that afternoon Mum and I looked through my scrap book of “wedding” pictures I had cut out and discussed what else needed to be done.

The first thing I did was explain to her what James and I wanted in the beginning and how I in particular had got completely sidetracked by all of the traditions and expectations of what a “wedding” should entail.

My Mum bless her really wanted me to have the whole big white do and for her daughter to be the archetypical “disney princess” so really when I showed her my idea’s she wasn’t sure – they all seemed very “different” to what she had envisaged.

When she and Dad married they really didn’t have much money (Dad wasn’t even qualified and all of their savings was going on him buying his own practice) so a simple registry office affair and tea and sandwiches at a local village hall was about the extent of their big day.

So by her own admission she wanted me to experience everything she never did and never could.

The fact is she and Dad have been together 40 years ( married 35) and are still blissfully happy. My Dad calls my Mum “gorgeous” on a regular basis, they make each other laugh and would do anything for one another.

So who gives a toss that there wedding day was cheap is chips? It’s the bit after that counts and they have done it the best way possible – they are growing old together forever. Who could ask for more than that.

Besides and I told her as much, in every picture I’ve seen of their wedding everyone is smiling and laughing, my Grandad looks like the proudest man alive and my Dad looks like he can’t believe his luck.

And that is what I wanted to achieve above all else – a happy happy day.

Anyway my Mum on a glorious sunny day in June 1977 in her “bridal gown” of a second hand pale blue suit and hat? pretty as a picture and distinctly Jackie O esque 

James and I were in a much more priviledged position financially of course but I was still determined not to spend just for the sake of it and make sure that we LOVED everything to do with our wedding – not just “liked” it.

So I promptly ripped everything out of my scrapbook that was “nice” and left only the things in there that (I thought) were “totally fabulous” and I felt sooooo much better about it. Mum was still apprehensive ( she still had both feet firmly in camp “nice” at this point)) but I had a good feeling she would come round eventually.

Hmmmm so my major sticking point – this whole colour theme thing.

Now I like lots of colours and maybe that was my problem, I felt too restricted – for example by having the bridesmaids in a single hue – I would feel like I had to use this particular shade in everything.
So the plan was to make it all look cohesive but not matchy matchy.

Nothing like setting yourself a difficult task in a restricted time frame.

Bridesmaids dresses in general were a major issue, why were so many so darn awful? Was in some kind of secret bridezilla type trick to make all their lovely friends look so completely tragic that they would look even more amazing in comparison??

Picking my bridesmaids had been easy. My sister Melissa ( she was so excited when we brought the date forward – she would ring me at least 5 times a day to discuss plans) My best friend ( and reason for us meeting in the first place of course!) Sarah, my other best friend Melissa (I’ll refer to her as Mel to avoid confusion) and James’s sister Kirsten.

All slim very attractive girls – oh easy peasy – they could wear anything right? wrong… they all have COMPLETELY different colouring.

1) Melissa – mid brown hair and pink toned fair skin

2) Kirsten – blonde hair with a golden skin tone

3) Mel – very dark brown hair and dark olive skin 

4) Sarah – redhead with a very fair freckled complexion

My first thoughts were right how about the same dress but a different colour for each one? Then I thought better of it, what about if they couldn’t all agree on the same style ( there were after all so bloomin’ many) or that two wanted the same colour as each other? and more to the point what colours anyway, would they clash with each other? – wasn’t this just even more complicated?

Urgh.

What a nightmare.

I actually really liked the idea of ivory, it would flatter everyone and that way with such a neutral back drop, I could have all different sorts of colours to my flowers and stationary which I knew I wanted. They would have to be short dresses obviously for fear of ” erm which one is the bride?!…” but I figured all the girls would be fine with that.

My favourite flower ever since I can remember was hydrangea, they also featured heavily in my scrap book “totally fabulous” pictures often without me even realising it until I went through the whole lot again for my “stripping out” exercise.

Light bulb moment alert.

I’ll have hydrangea as my main flower in ALL the different gorgeous colours that I loved, hot pink, bright blue, that sexy mauve shade and the vibrant green which often has all the other colours touching the petal edges in some way – brilliant.

In fact if I had the bridesmaids in ivory they could have a different colour hydrangea bouquet each and I could have a massive pouf of ivory hydrangea for myself.

Genius.

Hmmmmm now I also love a gerbera and a delphinium….. ah well I’m sure I can fit those in too somehow .

I spoke to all the girls of course to check they were happy with 
a) Ivory and b) short pin-flashing frocks

My sister, Kirsten and Sarah were all really pleased with the idea and Mel was my last call…..

me: Hi babes, am ringing to discuss bridesmaids dresses…

Mel: Oh lovely have been wondering when you would call, was just about to call you actually as have been living in fear…

me: Fear of what pet?

Mel: Well I saw pictures of my cousins wedding yesterday and the bridesmaids were in like these burgundy wrap dresses….

me: Oh different ….like a Diane Von Furstenberg type look?

Mel: No babes not like DVF, like they were going to the office ….. and they didn’t fit properly either …..and the colour was SOOOO baaaaad….

me: Like a row of giant winegums?

Mel: Oh My God yes! yes that’s it!! winegums!!!

me: Babes I promise not to make you look like a giant winegum or any other type of confectionary for that matter. I was actually thinking of Ivory, short sophisticated but a little bit sexy?

Mel: Oh Charlotte really? that sounds beautiful! woo woo I am so excited now!

me: Excellent, and no more living in fear yes?

Mel: Nope totally fearless, not a giant burgundy sweet in sight

me: Excellent pet, now help me find you girls the perfect dress…….

And let me tell you I lucked out big time here. Within a few weeks I had found a totally stunning chiffon layered number in French Connection, it was almost exactly what I had imagined in my head.
Told the girls – they all went and had a look, tried on, REALLY loved it ( two have since worn theirs again already) and I ordered them in one go off the French Connection site.

A few minor alterations and paired with super cute muted grey/silver peep toe shoes from Coast ( sky scraper heels for the petite girls Mel and Sarah and kitten for the leggy two Melissa and Kirsten) and we were all set to go on the Bridesmaid front…

Because I only had 4 months to try and sort everything I didn’t have the luxury of concentrating on one thing at a time – it was a bit like a juggling act, desperately trying to get as much done as soon as possible.

Most importantly after finalising the venue and date was sending out the invitations so that our guests knew when and where, as it was a Friday most people would need to take annual leave from work so we wanted to make sure it was all confirmed for them ASAP.

In the 8 months of confusion after our engagement I had sent off for many different invite samples. I love stationary – seriously Paperchase is like one of my favourite shops ( I know very sad..) but I adore unusual pens and coloured paper and cute little books to write things in and choosing funky birthday cards……

Therefore I was initially really looking forward to the whole choosing the stationary bit, I really think the invite sets the “tone” for a wedding so I was looking for something fun, elegant and colourful.

I also knew I wanted “save the dates” ( invites would take a bit of time with regards the text and sorting the gift list etc) Invitations, menu cards, “order of the day ” ( I wanted the whole day documented for guests not just the service – more on this later ) table name cards and a great big table plan.

At first James couldn’t get his head around this AT ALL and couldn’t comprehend what I was fussing about….

James: “Can’t we just buy some nice invitations from John Lewis or something?”

me: ” Erm no we can’t, they won’t be special to us will they then?”

James: “Guess not no but it just seems like a lot of stuff to me baby….., can Notley Abbey not like do a menu? and I’m sure they do a table plan…..?”

me: “Notley Abbey rocks James but did you see their table plan examples?? like just names on square bits of paper pinned up, I could do better myself using Microsoft Word”

James: ” Oh right I see…..ok then…..”

Anyway I’ve gone off the beaten track AGAIN sorry…..so back to all these samples. Some were nice – pretty even but I had established that “nice” just wouldn’t do. And some were just well….. a bit naff and a bit boring to be honest.

I had discovered one designer – Bijou Woo and there were lots of designs on their website that I thought were great. Nothing exactly fit my requirements though and they did look expensive – the top end of what we wanted to spend, hmmmm but they did do a bespoke design service….. oh dear more $$$$$$$!

I showed James and he thought they were definitely the best he had seen, he also kindly pointed out that I was having ( yet more) problematic mathematical calculation issues. Just because we were having 60 people didn’t mean we needed 60 invites as the vast majority of these were couples – it was more like 35 invites ( ah yes I see….) Oh and I was also calculating 60 menu’s as well when clearly we only needed 1 or 2 per table…….

I hate to conform to stereotype but sometimes I really do have my blonde moments.

I emailed Bijou Woo and the next morning received a reply from the owner – the lovely Shari. Without paying out for a bespoke design she pointed out I could have an existing one and change the colours, text and formatting at little extra cost – fabulous. I told her the ones I liked the most and she promptly sent me a selection of samples which didn’t disappoint.

It transpired that Shari wasn’t a million miles from where I work so when James and I decided Bijou Woo would be perfect to supply our wedding stationary she agreed to meet us and discuss design and colour options. I briefed her on the Hydrangea colours I had in mind and that their existing “red and black floral” design would be ideal providing we could have the floral patterns in greens, blues, pinks and purples, pick wording we wanted and move certain things around slightly.

Green light – no problem. AND she would get to work on the “save the dates” straight away.

Hallelujah.

Loved working with Shari, more than anyone else she had to put up with my most ridiculous Bridezilla type requests…. ” Can you just move that 2mm down the page…..just make that a touch lighter please…hmmm changed my mind can I have that back to pink again instead of green……etc etc”

She was an absolute angel.

And so many people commented on how much they loved the invitations and all the other bits and pieces, quite a few of our guests even took a selection of menu’s, order of the day and table names home with them as keepsakes.

Really makes all the effort worthwhile.

Mum’s friend had recommended a florist – she had done her daughter’s wedding and was really impressed with her apparently.

So Mum got the number and I made an appointment and as much as James had made out flowers were not his “thing” and that it pretty much was up to me – he was surprisingly keen to join me.

Not a lot to say really – she was nice enough but I just didn’t think she understood what I was after and I left without that feeling of “yes I can totally trust this person to create what I imagine….” James felt exactly the same – so back to the drawing board.

As I was emailing Shari at Bijou Woo at this point sorting out the invites I mentioned my lack of florist to her and she recommended a friend of hers – Lorna.

Checked out the website - fabulousness!! Lorna did weddings but also lovely displays for funky boutiques and stores so her style was contemporary and unique – perfect. I read her blog and what was her favourite flower? Yep you guessed it – Hydrangea….

I definitely had a good feeling about this one

James came with me to this appointment too ( yes my H2B may have pretended all this decor stuff was too girly but he secretly loved it bless him) and I think we both loved Lorna from the off.

She totally got my hydrangea obsession and thought all the different colours with ivory BM dresses would look amazing.

Explaining my giant white “pouf” bouquet was funny as she thought I was hilarious wanting just a giant ball of white frilliness twice as big as my head. She was up for the challenge though and actually thought it would look pretty cool…..

I explained that for the table centres I was having tall pewter candelabra’s (Notley Abbey hire them) as I love candlelight and it really made the Monk’s Refrectory where we were having the Wedding Breakfast soooo romantic. I therefore wanted some kind of circular arrangement to surround the base – nothing too big and OTT as I didn’t want anything in the way of the guest’s vision or to take away from the candelabra itself.

How about hydrangea in all different colours Lorna suggested – so different colours on each table basically……. Yes yes! lovely!

So blue for the head table and the table directly in front of us and then the sexy mauve diagonally opposite to this on either side then another two hot pink and another two green…..

Now what about the ceremony flowers? I told Lorna how I loved really tall delphiniums and she said they would be perfect in blues, purples and whites, I could have two big displays one either side of the ceremony table and she would lift the blooms to maximum height using rolled up clingfilm that would look like ice cubes ( sounded like nothing I had ever heard but looked gorgeous on the day)

Hmmm now how about the ceremony/signing the register table? I wasn’t keen on those long traditional wreath things ( it’s the abundance of green foliage – reminds me of the school harvest festival that we had at church circa 1988) and with the huge delphinium beauties I wanted to keep everything else simple and chic.

Loving the gerbera’s I told her – would white ones look pretty? Yes Yes she agreed, in little bud vases everywhere. So that was that – white gerbera’s in bud vases on the ceremony table, on all of the fire places around the venue and in all the little bare corners that needed a bit of flowery love.

Last but not least we decided on a contemporary arrangement for a large glass topped table in the main reception hall. This was a large glass bowl filled with green hydrangea heads and then purple and blue delphinium coming out of the centre.

I then had small bowls of pink hydrangea heads on the three smaller glass tables in the reception hall to tie in all of my favourite colours.

And do you know what – we came in on budget. Hydrangea are quite cost effective as they are such large blooms and a little goes a long way. The gerbera’s as single stems in bud vases were really cost effective and achieved that chic simplicity I was after ( I would recommend anyone consider these – there are so many beautiful colour options as well) The delphiniums were a tad more expensive but we had the ceremony displays moved either side of the head table for the wedding breakfast so they didn’t go to waste. It would have been such a shame not to admire their loveliness for as long as possible…

Safe it the knowledge that the lovely Lorna would ensure my flowers would be gorgeous one of my next tasks was another one of my favourite things to do…… find beautiful jewellery!!!

I am obsessed with all things sparkly and ridiculously long dangly earrings are fast becoming my trademark – I endeavour to wear a pair every day. For no other reason than that they make me happy.

I am by no means a jewellery snob either, the pair of shoulder ticklers that I receive the most admiration for were 99p from H & M ( I have since stocked up on several back-ups in many colour variations clearly )

I think any outfit can be transformed into something amazing with the simple addition of a statement necklace or chunky cuff….so what on earth do you chose to wear with the most stunning dress you are ever going to own on the most important day of your life?

I was keen to find something that would not scream “bling” but still have a pretty little twinkle and that I could hopefully wear again.

Dangly earrings were a given (obviously) and then perhaps a delicate bracelet….but the most exciting thing of all?

Back Jewels.

Yup. I am a lover of the swish down your spine variety of necklace.

And who is the Queen B of the back jewel? the fabulous Kirsten Goss of course.

Some earrings that I already owned were by Madam Goss, a beautiful pair of silver baguette beauties that are so heavy they actually cause me severe lobe ache, but as they say…. beauty is pain……

So The Kirsten Goss studio was the first ( and only actually) place on my hit list and the one place I knew I would find something amazing.

Gosh and there were soooo many delectable trinkets, all different stones and colours and designs….. I wanted to buy it all.

The sales ladies were really knowledgeable and helpful and I must have tried on everything in the bridal section but I don’t know……there was just nothing perfect for me.

The back jewels were indeed stunning but I didn’t want pearls – just crystals and there were not enough of them – was a bit too much of the chain on display for my liking…..

They also did bespoke within reason, I could have all crystals instead of pearls then I could have more crystals if I preferred – all at a price of course, and that price tag just had too many 000′s at the end of it for my budget frankly.

Oh no.

Not again.

And I thought this bit would be so straight forward.

Much scouring of the internet ensued, lots of pretty things of course just not “perfect for me” pretty things.

So the answer? try and find a talented jewellery designer who could create a special set of crystal drop loveliness that was elegant, delicate and exquisite.

Erm, any idea’s?

It turns out my florist knew a jewellery designer who was based in the Midlands. She had her own distinct collections
but was also willing to do one off pieces and was apparently just starting to really focus on bridal.

Lorna put me in touch with Helen and we exchanged emails 
discussing what I was looking for etc. Helen had never done 
back jewels before ……..but she was really excited about giving
it a go and used the same swarovski crystal drops as Kirsten Goss for maximum sparkle.

Helen sent me some sketches to begin with and I certainly liked what I saw. We ended up meeting for coffee so she could show me the materials in “the flesh” as it were and discuss exact lengths and measurements.

I was thrilled at the thought of having everything made especially for me and was really impressed with Helen, not to mention impressed with the cost. It came out less than half of what I would have paid otherwise so….. all the more $$$$$ for other spectacular wedding day accessories.

The jewels arrived a few weeks before the big day as promised and were absolutely bloomin’ gorgeous, I was so glad I had
gone the bespoke route in this instance and would recommend it to anyone who can’t quite find the perfect bobby dazzler’s.

Also with regards to suppliers – if you find one you are really pleased with it is highly likely they will be able to recommend others who will be just as brilliant and so on. Mine started with
stationary which led to flowers which led to jewellery……