Morning lovelies, Charlotte here…*waves*, after a recent discussion with Madame Pamela and the success of her Lack Of Aisle Style post we asked her to return and share her desire for a distinct lack of social media coverage for W-day…..as always please leave your thought in the comments box below!
OK, so, the Big C and I will, ever so politely, be asking our guests not to post our wedding photos on social networking sites. The reason for this is not because we have an exclusive, six-figure deal with a celebrity magazine (completley shocking, I know) and neither is it because I’ve come over all diva-esque in a ‘Mental pictures, no cameras please’ Rita Ora kind of way (again, somewhat shocking, but with just eight weeks to go I’m trying to keep my inner Mariah on lock down – don’t want the Big C ‘doing one’ because the pressure of finding eight puppies as white as the snow got too much).
You see, I’m the type of girl that is all about the foreplay (don’t worry; this post isn’t going to be about those type of photos!). I live for the build up to events and momentous occasions. That girl’s night out that isn’t until the end of the month? Well I’ve already planned 57 possible outfits, debated, discarded and decided on bars and clubs, run around the house in false eyelashes so long that really they belong to Ermentrude the cow (‘Just needed to check that yes, they are totally impractical and therefore truly suitable’) and made 162 phone calls to my best friend making nothing but an excitable ‘eeeeeeeee’ noise down the phone (we have an understanding that if it goes on longer than seven minutes she can hang up). And yes, if a standard night out does that to me, I do realise there is a high possibility I will give myself some kind of stroke in the run up to the wedding, but he is promising in sickness and in health…
Anyhow, how does that relate to wedding photos? Well, I am preparing for the dreaded wedding comedown …yes, yes, yes, I know I shall have a lovely, shiny new husband, an even lovelier and shinier new honeymoon wardrobe (sorry, dearie, but you are nearly 30 now, and those floral trews are fresh out of the Zara orange tissue paper) and a super trip to look forward to, but it’s just not going to be the same is it? I mean, what is it going to be like when there is no wedding regalia in the guest bedroom and someone could actually sleep in there?!
So, when we get back from our honeymoon, I want something to ‘ooooo’, ‘aaaaaahhhh’ and ‘eeeeeee’ over and that something is going to be our wedding photos. I want to see all those magical moments from our day; the ones that I can remember, the ones that I can’t and the ones that when I’m 87 and everything has gone south will prove that yes, I was indeed a bride, and, not just any bride, a pretty darn good one at that. They’ll also prove that the Big C was a most dashing and spectacular groom, and I had indeed chosen well (I totally chose him, even though he was pushing a wheelie bin when we met. And, no he isn’t a refuse collector). Stuff like that is going to be important to garner any kind of credibility with any potential grandchildren…they will need to know the nana was once a fox!!
Seeing our wedding photos is going to be a Quality Street moment. And, I don’t want my rather expensive chips (because come on, wedding snaps aren’t exactly a cheap do are they?) pi*sing on by coming back from honeymoon to a deluge of Facebook / Twitter / Instagram photos (delete as appropriate) that show off my Bruce Forsyth chin, the moment when I got my skirt caught in the beige-flavoured sausage underwear, the bit where I had to ever so slightly give the Big C’s arm an ever so gentle squeeze because he was getting ever so slightly too drunk, the drama when I dropped a bit of my mum’s famous cheese and sausage pie down the dress, and the part where I have to go and have a wee cry behind the stage curtain because it’s all getting a bit much. And yes, ALL those things are going to happen – I am so sure of it that I may as well schedule them into the day’s running order.
Perhaps that all sounds a tad vain, but I’m OK with that. Me and the best friend have a catchphrase for when we see girls (and boys) on our travels that look amazing and we want to give them props – ‘We like a look’. We like seeing a pretty end product…Chezza’s new video for ‘Call My Name’ – I’m transfixed – but when it comes to ‘The Making of the Video’ show….nah, not so much. Which is why, and this is possibly an entirely other debate, there won’t be any pictures of me in my rollers on the morning of the wedding (even though I will quite happily nip out to M&S at Handforth Dean in them before a night out – emergency suntan tights – the daddy of all flesh coloured tights, people don’t even know you’re wearing them). Of course, I am well aware that every single person in that church is going to know that some serious effort will have gone into the look, that I didn’t just wake up with my hair in an uber-do, cats-eye make up a la a Kardashian, and a waist (this bit is a dream, clearly) to rival Kylie’s corseted number, but come on, let me have my magic folks!
And, the magic isn’t just for me. I want all our guests to have a really smashing day. I don’t want them to miss a moment because they’re caught up trying to capture said moment through a viewfinder so they can document their attendance on Facebook. I read this article and it certainly made me think…
So, whilst we’re not going so far as to ban cameras totally, because for lots of our guests photography is a bit of a passion and if getting snap happy is your thing, then snap away kids, but we are going to be popping a nice note at the front of our orders of service that lets people know our lovely photographers are going to be on hand doing well, what photographers do…We’ve also set up a Flickr account where guests can upload their unofficial wedding snaps after the day, so if you’re an upload junkie (which I totally am, there really is a lot of satisfaction to be gained from a successful upload) then you can still get you fix.
However, despite all of the above, I am well aware that someone is going to stick a picture up on Facebook, because unfortunately, and aside from my belief that I would be quite good in the role (I would totally rock those jewels), I am not the Queen. I cannot decree how things should be, even on my wedding day, and certainly not after the event. And you know, what, it really won’t be the end of the world if they do. So maybe, what I should really be saying in my order of service note is this:
“Be kind people. Post whatever you like, but whoever makes the Bruce F in a wedding dress comment…have you seen my new husband? He was the six foot five, pretty darn big and strong man stood at the top of the aisle with me. You know, the one in the James Bond suit. And boy, does he love that Brucie – watch your back.”
Pamela x
I have been pretty vocal with my friends about h
Whoops got a bit over zealous with the go button! As I was saying I have been pretty vocal w
I am a massive Facebook junkie. A tagging queen some might say. And that tagging includes the good, the bad, and the ugly – they are all on my Facebook prof. Admittedly that probably includes more of the latter two than the former, but I have a ‘no delete’ rule you see, that applies so that my friends can’t get rid of any humorous pictures I have captured of them – so it kind of has to apply to me to.
Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut. I do agree with Pamela that it shouldn’t apply to your wedding day. On your wedding day you of course look nothing but beautiful at ALL times, that’s just the law. But I am confident that when my day comes, guests will be capturing shots of my multiple chins left right and centre (not because they are mean or bad photographers, but because my extra chins that keep themselves under wraps at all other times just seem to pop out when a camera is around). I would of course be getting a professional photographer to photoshop the extras out, but I wouldn’t want the evidence that they were in attendance staring me in the face and mocking me on Faceyb.
So, whilst this is all hypothetical as I am not engaged (that’s right ladies I am one of those weird wedding obsessives), in essence I totally agree with Pamela. On your wedding day you should not expect to be assaulted with any less than flattering pictures on your return from honeymoon, that is salt that does not need to be rubbed in the post-wedding wound…if you choose to add the more flattering unofficial photos yourself so that you can revel in even more memories of your glorious day, that is definitely the bride’s prerogative xx
Whoops got a bit over zealous with the go button! As I was saying…..I have been pretty vocal with my friends about how much people should share on Facebook I think it should be used for random chit chat no life stories please! Facebook friends are not really your friends, well mine aren’t anyway. Most of the time I accept a friend request, on the of chance that I bump into them, I don’t seem rude.
I only have a small amount of guests and only a few of them a Facebook crazy so I’m hoping that no wedding photos are posted. Don’t think I could ask them not to post, without sounding like a biatch! But as they say it’s MY day!
Like the fliker idea (smart thinking batman) because I would like to see other people photos of the day. Just incase the small fortune I am spending on a Photographer doesn’t work out!
Yep we did the same, and some people thought we were a bit cheeky and a bit demanding but hey.
The genius is, people did still do it, some awful pics they took, but facebook now lets you approve them before they show up. Fantastic. I approved one.
I wasnt going to put any wedding pics at all on there, just cos i wanted them to be just for us. But then i though, chuff it, we worked hard to have a gorgeous day and why shouldnt i put the odd one of my gorgeous husband and i on our big day. He hates facebook btw, so he would have been happy with none.
So i just chose odd ones now as profile pics and leave it at that. Each to their own though cos i love looking through everyones big days on it haha!
And it has to be said, i loved sharing our day and pics with you lovely lot, much better than facebook!
Xx
@sharon … Way too funny.
@pamela. Oh my goodness the hanging up after seven minutes really made me laugh out loud. Love your writing. All you need to do is get some horrendously embarrassing pics of your guests and if they post / comment anything not too your liking, just reply with a picture of them from your wedding. Picking their nose. Or dancing badly. Or walking into a glass door. and if they don’t actually do these things, I know a man who’s a dab hand at photoshop.
Hate people putting other peoples wedding pics on Facebook. Unless its just of themselves having a jolly good time. If I wanted people to see my wedding I would of invited them.
Xx
Oh Pamela – I LOVE YOU GURL!!
I agree COMPLETELY with everything you say, although i’m the opposite and have no chin. My order of service needs to say “do not take photographs of me in profile, I do not do profile”
Is it just us?? Or is it everyone? Im totally with you on the no photos in the rollers either… I mean, nobody needs to see me in my Primark pyjamas with the baggy knees, hole in the a*se and fake tan stains dripping down the front.
How does Big C feel about the photos thing? Lee will be furious and tell me off for being a d*ck, but the last thing I want is that photo off me slumped over with my awful posture doing the half talking/half lobotomized face that I usually do if I dont have half an hours notice before a photograph, going on Facebook before the evening is even over… before the evening guests even arrive and see me in all my bridal fabulosity!!
I really really really love the idea of the Flickr account, and that might be my key to getting round things with Lee. Good thinking
Now, I’m a social media junkie to the core, which I also don’t think will do me any favours. Everyone will be ‘checking me in’ at the venue and all kinds. I dont want that and I also really dont think it’ll help my ‘no pics’ cause!!
Well, you can be the trailblazer and let me know how it works out… then I’ll copy off you. Sounds like a plan Pam!
Onto more important points – I REALLY REALLY need cheese and sausage pie!!!!
Fab post lady, and couldnt agree more. Now i’m going to read it again cos I was laughing too much the first time!
xxx
I didn’t ask any of my friends to not upload any pics of my wedding to FB and thankfully they didn’t.
It wasn’t until I had my wedding pics and shared a few online that they then put theirs on. Luckily there was none of me looking like a crapbag.
x
oh, when I say I have no chin – what i do have is a massively flabby neck. Just in case anyone is like “no chin? You’ve got 4 love” xxx
AND… why do you think you need the sausage underwear? Look at that picture of you!! Just like “o hai, look at my teeny figure while I do my best ANTM hot shoulder action pose”
pffft! Get that sausagey beige torture device in the bin. x
I agree with the ‘it’s my day’ philosophy to a point … But not on this.
If friends and family have spent time and money coming to a wedding, I kind of think they should be allowed to take photos and share them, as it may be the bride and groom’s wedding but it is also a social occasion that the guests have no doubt had an amazing time at!
A friend of mine asked people not to post photos on social networking sites and a few months later, post bridal bubble, she regretted it (and felt a bit embarrassed!). And I am married and had photos by guests posted in various places – i’m not being contrary with no experience of my own ; )
Sorry to disagree…… but I hope you have a fabulous wedding either way!
I had no such rule and I adored it every time I got a notification that someone added a photo of me on Facebook. It was like seeing my day over and over through the eyes of all the different people who love me and my husband. It was magical and I think you are probably missing out. Yes, I look awful in some of the pictures, I have extra chin and wobbly bits, but I look so goddamn happy. I look like me, flawed and imperfect, sometimes like a demented monkey, and so in love it HURTS. I look joyful in every bad picture, and I loved seeing the joy and reliving it again and again.
K x
As a newly-wed I’m with Fee on this front. I love Facebook but generally hate photos that others post of myself. However, my wedding photos are a bit of an exception to this and I approved them all – the good, the bad and the ugly. Do not underestimate how happy you will look on your wedding day and how the joy will radiate through the photos which will almost invariably make even “bad” photos look good. Although I like our professional photos, bear in mind that they won’t capture every moment and some of my favourite snaps of the whole day were those informal snaps taken by guests, many of whom may well have left their cameras at home if I’d asked them not to upload them. I appreciate that it’s a very personal choice and if the thought of subsequent uploads is going to stress you out on the day, then by all means ask people not to do so. Good luck with the rest of your planning!
@Sharon – you go and get over excited girl! It happens to me all the time on here!
@Alex – that’s exactly it! All I can do is ask, and if I get ignored, I am sure I shall live.
@Emily – thanks, love. We’re going on a little girlie trip soon and there has been lots of screaming down the phone.
@Karen – erm, I think I heart you muchly too. Pair of weirdos. The Big C actually agrees, he too is a bit wrapped up in the ‘magic’. What he isn’t too keen on is my general hatred of having my photo taken…I do need to get comfortable with this having my photo taken professionally malarky…must not let the boy down.
Will bring you some pie when I meet you, which I hope will be soon, although my dad declared the last one not up to my mum’s usual standards. World War Three then ensued.
You chin, single chin, is just lovely dear. And I am waaaaayyyy too brown on that photo. I double dipped my fake tan…and do regret it somewhat…particularly as I was being stood next to my pretty, peaches and cream complexion sister all day…
@Fee – Guess it’s just a case of horses for courses, which is why I love RMW so much! I do just really dislike having my photo taken, it’s not vanity I promise!
@Katielase – that is exactly what the mother says…”All brides are beautiful because they are so happy.” Agreed, but I am not so happy with my chin.
xoxoxo
Morning everyone!
Love it when everyone comments so early – I can have a good old read whilst I am having my morning tea and biscuits
As it happens one of the reasons I asked Pamela to write this piece is because it wouldn’t be my choice to ask guests not to post on FB – I didn’t even think about it to be honest, but maybe that’s because I’m not a big FB person (totally crap at it – I’ll go on every day for a week then forget it for a month…) So I was really interested to see what Pammy had to say.
As always her writing is hilarious and actually I can completely see where she is coming from – it is your day, there is no harm in making requests to your guests if it will make you happy and it is done in a polite way, and ideally the first pictures you want to see would be the ones that you have paid $$$$ for and make your day look its best however…..
I wouldn’t give up my friends pics for all of the world. Yeah there was some unflattering ones – yes they were on FB (!) but we looked really happy the entire way through (if not a little red-eyed and sweaty!) and no matter how awesome your photographer they can’t be everywhere all of the time.
My friend Hannah actually took some really beautiful shots – I love them, didn’t even know she was so skilled with a camera and they were (If I remember) the first ones I actually saw whilst I was on Honeymoon – such a brilliant surprise.
If I was asked by the bride and groom not to post W-day pics on FB I would have absolutely no issue with that at all, and I certainly wouldn’t think it was rude….I just wasn’t that bothered about it myself.
As always – it’s your day, do it exactly your way lovelies.
Charlotte xxx
I too am loving the early comments and am now already thinking…do we need to review our thinking…ooooooo indecisive bride strikes again….I shall not write anything for RMW again as I am only 8 weeks away and cannot be changing more plans…!!!!
Excuse any spelling funnies. Am logging on via my phone for once as having brand new fresh experience of this I couldn’t stop myself commenting, despite being on my post wedding break (honeymoon much later!!)
I got married last weekend. As our photographer left she said the photos would be about 4 weeks. But this didn’t phase me because I knew there were plenty of people taking photos throughout the day. This week there has been so much love on Facebook which we’ve been able to enjoy. Photos, videos, messages from friends from all over the world & from all walks of our lives sending their love & best wishes & saying how beautiful everyone & everything looked. It’s really helped with the wedding come down.
Sure there are pictures where I have a few more chins than normal, the odd one where I’m bellowing like a fish wife. But I love them all because of all the pure emotion. Everyone is smiling all the time, beautifully or not!!! I know that we’re in a bit of a different place in that our massive honeymoon isn’t for a few months but I think that if I had to go back to work without seeing photos I would be very blue!
And some of the photos our friends took are beautiful! There’s rather a lot of love behind them after all.
I agree with Fee, Katielase and Branwen. I’ve heard of this becoming the done thing and while I believe that everyone should do their W-day their way, for me, frankly, this is a step too far.
We’re hiring one of the best in the business, photgrapy-wise, but I can’t wait to see our day captured from the perspective of our guests, warts and all. We’re spending a wedge of time, money and effort on this day – why wouldn’t I want it documented as thoroughly as possible?
I’m getting a bit clenchy at the thought of all of the smartphone abuse that is likely to wind me up on the day. But I just figure hey ho, one of my primary aims of our wedding is that everyone have the best time ever, and if that involves tapping about on their device then so be it. People are going to be snapping regardless of whether they are told they can upload or not.
I’m trying to avoid any behaviour or requests that could come across as demanding to our guests who are spending time and money and some travelling great distances to celebrate with us. This to me is a step too far toward that demanding behaviour. Facebook is a part of our lives whether we like it or not and trying to fight it is like holding back the tide.
Besides, I love it when after an event everyone’s simultaneously uploading and tagging and commenting and giggling together, all scattered about the country but together in remembering what a brilliant time you all had. It prolongs the celebration after the marquee has been dismantled and the bottles have long gone to the recycling. My Photographer can take up to 6 weeks to edit a shoot, so it will be nice to have some immediate photos online for everyone to enjoy.
Fundamentally, I love and trust my friends and family enough to allow them to make their own judgement calls. Each to their own, but you might be surprised to find how many people will be quietly judgey about this decision.
My friend got married a couple of years ago and had specific photographer requests. Her photos were STUNNING. but….. in her dictatorship (cough)she didn’t get a full length picture of her in her dress. Her nan did though, and after spending a lot of money on photos the picture on everyone’s sideboard? Nanna’s!
On the way to the ceremony the beautiful car with the bridesmaid in it broke down (give the girl a break – she was advertised as vintage!). Cue comedy pictures of the three of us in our full length gowns and updos posing for pictures thumbing a lift! The driver (who had a flask of something to calm us down in his pocket?!) happily took the shot and again its one on the sideboard! (BTW people are ridiculously kind and we had loads of people stop and offer us lifts back to the house of the venue! MOB jumped in the first car and whizzed back to the house to get her sporty little number and we drove at 100mph all the way!! Was fab!)
So i guess, even as camera shy as i am, i can appreciate others taking photos because the photographer isn’t going to capture every moment necessarily.
And although i agree with the people on facebook aren’t always your friend comment… it is a chance to say look at me now when your looking your best!!!!!!!
I completely respect everybody’s points, and of course I can’t wait to see my guests pictures from the big day.
BUT… what I dont want (and this is now happening all to often at friends weddings) is for our guests to enjoy our day through an 8×5 screen… I want them to enjoy our day, not act like they’re at a Lady Gaga concert.
I also want our professional photos to be of people, not iphones.
This of course is secondary to the fact that I dont want the first photo the wider world sees of me as a Bride being some godawful crap photo that my cousin’s husband took while I am stifling a burp.
@Pamela – Cannot wait for the pie! But also, you may be wavering and there’s no harm in that, but I think a polite request for people to let the professionals do their jobs, sit back and enjoy the day is absolutely totally fine!!
and there’s no such thing as too brown! double coating of Home & Bargain St Moritz is the only way to do it
xxx
@Karen – see, that’s the other thing…and I do it myself…I get so caught up in capturing the moment on camera, that I miss the actual moment…
Perhaps as a compromise, it would be acceptable to request an ‘unplugged’ ceremony. Despite my rant above, I am actually considering this myself.
But this is more about having everyone present in the experience than concern for any double chin shots ending up on FB.
@Pamela – From the “missing the moments because you are taking so many pictures” point I actually hadn’t thought of that – Mr O’Shea is frequently saying “For God Sake put the camera down and actually enjoy at least a bit of this event for yourself!”
I can see his point!
Charlotte xxx
@Philippa – it was that ‘unplugged bride’ article that initially got me thinking about this…it’s a really interesting take but I think you’d have to be REALLY brave to go totally unplugged…but then i do think that would be totally lovely, very, very peaceful and dreamy
As a wedding photographer, it’s a tricky one to explain to people as they obviously would think I want as many photos as possible on my wedding day! (which is three weeks today – eeek) And we do, but we’ve put a total Facebook / Twitter / Instagram ban on it! We have created a site for people upload and share to, but it’s a private day and bad phone photos needn’t be shared with a world of people you don’t know … !!
To satisfy everyone’s curiosity, we’ll be posting the professional shots and a set of friends pictures that we like! I just think its a shame when guests spend more time looking at you through their phone than in person!
To be honest, I can see both sides of the coin – I’ve had friends ask people not to upload any and others who weren’t bothered.
For our wedding, I was in the latter camp. Fortunately, the friends and family that are Facebook friends are all kind enough to not put on awful pictures of me… or they were for W Day anyway!
Yes there’s some where I’m not looking and Mr P has his eyes closed, but they’re real.
They’ve captured the day from their point of view – and although I’d love to look pristine and oh-so glamourous all of the time, I know I don’t.
However, we did want to see one of the professional photos before any others, so I asked our photographer to send us one sneak peak whilst we were on honeymoon. That was the first picture that I actually saw and I was so blown away with it, that I couldn’t have cared less about any of the others!
I still love looking at all of our wedding photos, professional or not -and the guests do have some hilarious ones… plus, I was perhaps no so kind to them when I uploaded all of our wedding photobooth pics… lets just say that some needed to be censored!!
xoxo
@Charlotte – Mr O’Shea is correct. But don’t tell him I said that. Can’t have these boys thinking they know too much.
I think it is fine asking people not to put them up, but also think someone always will so make sure your facebook privacy settings are in order so any photos people try to tag you in don’t show up straight away.
For my sisters wedding we set up a group that we asked everyone to load there photos up to, not there personal facebooks…then it was completely private and only guests could see it which helped keep the bad photos contained! It meant she didnt have the worry of someone she doesnt know having a look and any awful photos people had already seen in person anyway!
whatever you decide will be right for you x
Yes – I can see the logic. I actually had a bit of a debate with a boy at a Friendly Fires gig who was watching the entire thing through his smartphone. I pointed out to him that he’d never probably watch it back, and he wasn’t enjoying the experience as much as he would if he just participated. He actually thought about it, agreed and put his phone away.
There seems to be 2 issues here, the experiencing the day solely through the viewfinder (which should be discouraged IMO) and the uploading to facebook thing (totally fine by me). As with everything w-related, it’s trying to find the balance isn’t it!
I’d love to stipulate unplugged – two of my bridal party are glued to their iphones 24-7, but I know for them it would be like asking a smoker to quit for the day and it would make them really uncomfortable.
Thanks for this article Pamela – it’s really given food for thought.
Having just recently been married, 2 months ago, I have to say, I couldn’t disagree more with this!
I was away on my honeymoon and I LOVED seeing some photos of the wedding on facebook. Photos of me, my family, the venue – just the whole day came to life again and it was wonderful to see. I also didn’t have any photos myself to drool over as obviously the wedding party were otherwise engaged, so I was so grateful that other people had taken the time to post pics. In fact, some guests photos were so lovely that they have made their way into my wedding album.
My parents were also really grateful to have access to photos so they could show them off the friends and family who couldn’t make it.
I agree with a couple of other posters – I think you are missing out. I literally couldn’t stop looking at them for weeks, I downloaded them onto my phone and drooled!
It’s just like a little preview of how epic your wedding album is going to be!
The day after my wedding some of the pics people posted on Facebook made me cry!!
@Phillipa – I’ve had exactly the same experience…we waited at the Warehouse Project in Manchester for hours for Ritchie Hawtin to come on so we could dance like maniacs…and when he did, the amount of people that stood rooted to the spot with a camera in the air was ridiculous and made me feel a little bit sad.
For them, not me. I was dancing so hard I almost fell over.
Aaaaaah I can’t keep up with all the comments, I normally read them all but truth be told I’m on here on the sly when I should be doing work things so have had to skim read!
Pamela – I love your writing! You make what could be a really contentious issue that a lot of brides are probably quite worried about really funny to read!
On the issue at hand…I haven’t discussed this with Al but I think I feel the same as you. I definitely have “a better side” and I’m confident that our photographer will capture me looking at my best…but I have certain friends (won’t name names) who seem to specialise at snapping you at the WORST possible moment.
You know the ones…where your head is thrown back in laughter and your mouth is so far open you look like one of those fat frogs you get in fountains…or they catch you with a mouth full of nosh, or necking a whole glass of wine, or with the dreaded double chin!
Said photos will then inevitably end up on Facebook, with tags, and although you can “untag” you are powerless to remove them!
Like Pamela, I also want to get back from honeymoon to gush over our photography and not have the surprise and thrill ruined by a deluge of tags on Facebook…
So I guess the burning question is, how are we (if Al even agrees with this!) going to tell our guests to kindly refrain without causing offence or seeming like complete divas??
@Mrs S….I was wavering but your post had kind of made me stand firm again! Lordy!
Unless, they were tears of joy? And if they weren’t I am sure you looked beautiful.
xx
I got married earlier this month, and for the FIRST time in my life I didn’t wear a watch (a huge thing for me!) and I didn’t have a camera (similarly HUGE). The day was amazing, but the next day I had absolutely no idea what anything had looked like or what I had looked like. I gave it a few days and logged onto Facebook and there was nothing! Out of an assumed respect, nobody had uploaded or tagged… Finally someone mailed me a beautiful photo, and said I’m just sending you one as I”m sure you are inundated with shots. NO! I screamed, haven’t seen a thing – send more! And slowly they all started arriving and I could start to see everyone’s wonderful perspective on the day.
The official photos arrived yesterday and I am absolutely thrilled with them, and have uploaded a few onto FB hoping my friend’s haven’t had wedding overload from me. I’ve had loads of gorgeous comments, and we’ve had that wonderful experience of reliving the day you talk about Pamela. But I wouldn’t have missed that slow trickle of other photos from everyone else – and remember – lots of the shots are of their table at dinner, or my lovely husband waiting downstairs and looking nervous – things I wouldn’t have got to see. x
@ Helen, that’s made me think. It’s going to be SO weird not to have my camera with me on our day, I’d never considered that before… I guess I’m also coming at this all as a bit of a better-behaved Uncle Bob. I don’t go anywhere without my 24mm f/1.4L and would be pretty narked if I was dictated to at a wedding when I feel that I’m always discrete and respectful behind the lens.
I’m always very kind with uploads too, I never post double chin shots and often photoshop out humungous spots and other nasties so people don’t hate me. I find that there are very few (if any) shockers ever uploaded of me in return…
I think I’d be a bit gutted if there were no photos circulating after the event especially when they’re usually mine but I won’t have taken any!
@Kitty – thanks pet. I love a bit of controversy, I do! Best to just be honest and put it all out there. I dont think we will surprise any of our guests to be honest as my fear of a camera is well documented…in fact, there are probably only three photos of me and the Big C knocking about…he always says if I got run down by a bus and he had to show up at the hosptial with a photo to prove I belonged to him it would not be possible! He is such a cheery soul.
Hmm this is interesting, it isn’t really something I’ve thought about a lot to be honest. My sister got married 3 years ago and I remember being excited whenever someone else uploaded a photo from her wedding while she was on honeymoon and I imagine they were lovely to come back to. The majority of them were taken at the reception, when the photographer had left and it was lovely to see the day through the guests eyes. For a compromise, I might ask for no photos throughout the ceremony, just the photographer, as I can’t imagine anything worse than an ‘Uncle Bob’! I also hate it when people take photos of the wedding party posed for the ‘official photos’ and they aren’t looking at the camera. However, as someone else said, the guests will be excited to share your big day and if you’ve worked so hard on something for one day, then why not let them? (Any dodgy photos will be UNTAGGED immediately though haha)
Morning! Oooh good post. We have discussed this and we have half decided so far to ask our guests to hold off posting on facebosh until after we have posted our pro pics. Handily my wonder photographer will deliver our photographs to us within 7 days and does one of those sneak peak things online. Which for us means the best photos of us our out there in the world first, which means random FB mates might be less likely to check out the not so professional ones of me and my lover but we still get to see and share.
I am considering asking for no photos during the ceremony, the last thing I want to hear is the fake shutter noise off an slr or smart phone while I’m listing to him saying the ‘I do’s’
Will be back later to read the rest of the comments for ideas!
Here are my thoughts peeps, expressed in a musical analogy
If I was recording an album with a band and I invited a load of my friends along to the recording – I wouldn’t want those friends to record the songs on their phones and then publish them all over the place before the “album” came out.
I would want the first time that people heard the songs to be from the official recording…
And so I feel that seeing sneak peeks of weddings on Facebook could detract from the magic of seeing the official photographs for the first time…
I am all for Facebook and I understand a lot of peoples comments here about wanting their big day documented as completely and by as many people as possible and I totally agree with this concept – 100 camera’s are going to capture some priceless moments that 1 camera (however amazing the tog is) simply won’t be able to.
But maybe let the images from that 1 camera be seen and enjoyed before the images from the other 99 get released.
A wedding day embargo if you will… until the official story is in the public domain.
Adam.
As a guest at a wedding I LOVE taking pictures, out of common decency (and karma!) any really awful pictures I always filter out for FB. Part of the fun of a wedding, is over the next couple of days re-living the fun through seeing people’s pictures and reflecting on what a great day it had been.
For this reason, for my own wedding I didn’t care at all if pictures went up on facebook – the day is as much for the guests to enjoy as us. I actually enjoyed reviewing the pics the days after before we went on honeymoon – you miss so much of your day as it really just flies by, for me it was wonderful to see what a fantastic time people had had by looking at their photos.
This by no means diminished or took away from the excitement of seeing our professional pictures both for us and our family and friends. In fact seeing how great other people’s piccies had turned out meant the anticipation and joy when we saw our own was probably higher than if we hadn’t. I actually threw myself out of bed in the middle of the night when I saw a notification come through on my phone that our photographer had emailed us a ‘sneak peak’ whilst we were on honeymoon – my new hubby thought I’d lost the plot when I went running round the room for the iPad to view them (thank goodness for free WiFi everywhere in the states!).
Its your day and its up to you but from my own experience seeing the great time people had had during our day and letting our friends view and comment and see each others photos made the fun just last longer!.
It’s a tricky one particularly as I’m one of those people that loves snapping away at a wedding but then like so many of you have said, you begin experiencing said event through an LCD screen rather than being there fully in the moment. And you want to remember it how you actually experienced it, right?
I love seeing other people’s weddings on Facebook, both weddings I’ve attended and those people that you went to school with but kind of lost touch with. And you know what, they all look gloriously happy and it’s so lovely to see and it makes you smile.
Pamela love you need to do what makes you happy and if you’re fretting about the pie and the cry behind the curtain moment, then you don’t want to worry about unwanted Facebook photos too. So stand firm – remember your day, your way.
I am totally with you on the no “getting ready” photos front – I reckon I’ll be stressed out enough without a camera in my face and (this may be controversial on a site that worships the pretty so much) I’m getting a little bored of “wedding shoes artfully displayed on window sill” and “wedding dress hung on outside of wardrobe” shots. Plus, ona practical note, we only have one photographer and I’d much rather have photos of my guests arriving and my husband to be larking around with his best men and ushers.
Re Facebook, I’m actually quite looking forward to seeing what my friends post. Plus I’m quite selective with my Facebook friends so not worried about any “randoms” seeing them.
We have set up a Flickr account for sharing photos and have printed the details on little Moo cards for every guest’s place setting. But I’m not holding my breath that anyone will upload to it – I think my friend that did the same had a grand total of one upload to her site!
Hahaha Pamela, you crack me up! I love your writing
could you maybe just please write up all my real bride posts for me, I will tell you what I’ve been doing and you can write, I’m sure you can tell it better than I can! 
I hadn’t even thought about this yet to be honest! I would really love to see our day from our guests perspective but I look like a complete mare in most photos so not sure I would want the whole of facebookdom to see them…
I also completely get the wanting your guests to enjoy themselves and not have a camera clutched to their hand all day. It really annoys me that some people don’t just seem enjoy things anymore cause they’re too busy recording it for later. We went to a gig the other day and the girl infront of me didn’t take any notice of what Biffy Clyro were belting out as she was too busy trying to record it for posterity. Plus she had her hand in the air and I couldn’t see anything at the best of times gggrrrr!
Also, for the people who are asking for no fb uploads, how are you wording it?
Xxx
We (sort of) eloped so facebook was the first shots of our wedding that all my family and my dad saw at home so I didn’t mind much, our wedding was so titchy tiny there was not many pics really anyways… But then the prof. pics came back and I put them on facers and they made even the worst ‘home shot’ pics glow. The prof. pics were exciting and immense and I think that it was enough to have everyone’s pics as a sneak preview… I liked the balance. However my absolute favourite picture from our wedding is one my friend took via instagram. It’s fab…!!
Fabulous post young lady
It was only yesterday I was moaning at Dave for not taking enough photos when we go to weddings and me having to take them all! His respose…….”I want to enjoy the moment” and as Charlotte has said this post has now made me realise that maybe he was talking some sense! (yeah don’t tell him I said that, haha!)
I am also a ‘no photos before make-up & hair is done’ bride as for 1 day I don’t want to be reminded of how much make-up I had to use to cover up my sudden stress-induced eczema flare up!
I am still not a lover of having my photo taken but slowly over the years the other half has almost convinced me to stop worrying so much.
Personally the only thing I will be asking guests not to do is post photos to facebook while they are there – I don’t want a load of people who are coming to the evening reception to have already seen me in my dress on facebook – I want them to see if for the first time when they enter the venue, I want to see the look on their faces (although, only if that look is of surprised joy, NOT if they look horrified!)
And thanks to this post…from now on I will be thinking before I rush to grab my camera out at every opportunity!
xxx
ps. agree with @Karen – why on earth you are wearing a ‘beige flavoured’ thing is beyond me, you look pretty FIT in that pic, even with the rollers!
@Adam – Nail – hit exactly on the very tip of the head. That’s what I want I think. Let me get the ‘official’ ones out there first and then do what you will!
@Lauren – I am a bit of a hypocrite (you, pah, never!) because I too adore looking at people’s wedding photos on Facebook! Have loved this summer! There was a girl I used to work with who moved to Scotland and she asked people not to post so I was worried I would not see her day…but she was kind enough to send me the log in to her photographers site…
@Nicky – YES! Ooooooo some shoes on a window sill. A window sill and shoes! Although I am sure I shall have that shot as I love my shoes purely for their name…they’re called ‘Kinker’!!!!!!
@Tabitah – it’ll cost you a packet of Coca Cola Chewits and two months of Marie Claire. And whilst I’m very flattered I am not at all funny in real life.
@Sera – oooooo an elopement! Uber romantic!
Can totally see both sides of the argument here…but I am an impatient soul, and I am really hoping people will put pics on FB so I can extend the wedding day fun without having to wait yonks for the official snaps. And anyway, I let people take and upload pictures of me when I am on a night out so why wouldn’t I when I have gone to even more effort to look my best?!
As for really wanting people to enjoy/experience the moment, I agree to an extent, but some people love taking photos, and that is their way of enjoying the moment…. I kinda think it’s not just our day, ’cause we want people there to share it. The day belongs to all the guests too, and if they want to take pictures to remember the day, then who am I to stop them? Anyway, everyone I love anc are about will be at the wedding and will see it all ‘live’ so I really don’t care if a couple of random people I went to primary school with and haven’t spoken to for years see a slightly dodgy pic of me looking drunk before they see an amazing, professional photo of me in all my glory. Surely the day is about more than whether or not I looked hot 100% of the time?!
I have to admit though, for ages we didn’t think we were going to be able to afford a professional photographer, and were prepared to rely on our guests’ photos, so I might be coming at this from a totally different angle to lots of you…
*love and care about*
@Rebecca – that swimsuit thing is actually just a black version of the beige flavoured sausage….it’s just sucking everything in, believe me!
And, I hadn’t even thought about people posting while they were actually at the wedding…
I did think, and this may be kind of a u-turn about setting up a #tag for the wedding…so those Twitter junkies could post status’ and document their attendance…but I don’t want a Will.i.am on The Voice situation going on. Yes, I did watch that trash but stopped once the fun of the swivel chairs ended.
@Adam – spot on!!!!
@Pamela – it’s not only the person watching it all through the camera, it’s the poor bugger behind that person who cant see a thing unless they look at the screen to.
Also and completely off topic @Pamela… I had to explain to all the non-Liverpool facebook brides last night what a ‘curly blow’ is… couldnt believe it!!! xxx
@Charlotte please feature Pamela’s wedding! I need to see this Kylie waist and the cat eyes
I will beat down the door of anyone who posts a picture of me with bingo wings or a double chin, or worse…back fat. There will be hell to pay.
A lot of my friends are quite nifty with a camera so am very much looking forward to seeing their snaps, the flickr account is a great idea, I think I will be stealing that one
x
I think the variety of comments shows how much of a tricky one this is. We got married earlier this month, we asked people (with a polite note on the order of service) not to take any pictures or video during the service – this was from the point of view of wanting our nearest and dearest to actually watch us and listen to us and share in the most important moments of the day, rather than focus on trying to get a good shot. And I was quite surprised, but it actually worked, near enough anyway. And I don’t regret that one bit, plus no one seemed to object.
On the FB/Instagram front, I am one of those people who is very particular about which photos I look good in (Mr W. is thankfully very patient with my requests for him to take loads of repeat holiday snaps of me so that I can delete the ones I don’t like, even though he says I look beautiful in all of them
), so… I would have thought that I wouldn’t want anything posted up – we didn’t actually make any specific requests though as we forgot in the sea of last minute organisation
But, actually, we have not yet received our official photos, and we are both desperate, to see any pictures at all – literally checking emails every 2 minutes, totally obsessed. It’s such a wonderful way to re-live the day, that I’ve found I don’t mind at all, in fact I’d love it if more pictures were posted and I get very very excited whenever I see something new.
So, yes in some of them I have my eyes shut, my dress isn’t straight, or I’m doing that thing where I emphasise the double chin, but it’s brilliant to see anything at all! Plus most of what people generally upload is pictures of groups of friends, having a good time which was the point of throwing a good party to celebrate, and is generally totally different from what (we think) the photographer will have captured.
@Karen – ooooo lord, the curly blow! I cannot have one as the fringe will not allow for it…I look a bit odd…but the best friend loves a curly blow from Herbert! How rude does that sound?!
@Debi – seriously, come on, love – Kylie’s waist and the cat eyes are all in my dreams…and am allowed to dream, but I also have my feet firmly on the ground…I reckon I’ll scrub up OK but with eight weeks to go…Kylie’s waist…BEYOND ME.
I’m not one for taking loads of photos – I have a camera that barely ever leaves the desk drawer! This probably means when I’m old and senile I’ll have no idea what I did and when but at least I enjoyed it at the time!
On a more serious note, I do keep telling myself to take more photos but there is still absolutely NO WAY I would snap away during someone’s wedding ceremony and potentially miss the whole point of being there – hearing someone you care about profess their love and make a committment like that. That is what the professional photographer is for. I’m a bit more easy going about reception photos, but agree with an above post about posed wedding party shots where other people get in on the actino and no one is looking at the camera!
@Pamela… no no curly blow + fringe is fine! you just twiddle the edges. I got a freebie Curly Blow at the new Scousewives salon last night, made up! I’ve heard Herbert’s are spot on though, I may have to head there too.
See, me and rollers dont go – I put them in for hours and hours, take them out and voila, hair is EXACTLY the same as it was. I just havent got the knack. xxx
@Karen – good work on the freebie…I’m not really a hair down type of girl for a night out…I love a big ‘do’…it detracts from the chin…
Seriously, I need to shut up about the chin don’t I…I annoy myself with it!
Second Fiona here, so I’ve added an initial so it doesn’t look like there is a split personality multiple commenting Fiona.
This post is really interesting because I kind of wish I’d said something about photos… SO many of our guests were keen amateur photographers that it ended up feeling like paparazzi at a few points. Lots of people commented on the ‘team’ of photographers, thinking we’d hired them! What it has meant is that we had hundreds of multiples of practically the same photo, and more than once the keen amateurs got in the way of our lovely pro. She was patient and great about it but it must have been frustrating and I worried that she thought we’d asked others to take photos in case we didn’t like hers which could not have been further from the truth..
That said, one of my friends took my favourite photo of the day which is us standing waiting to go inside to the evening reception, me hiking my dress up to avoid the wet ground and an umbrella above our heads, my blue shoes shining out. I am pulling a ridiculous goofy face and I have a feeling that our main photographer edited out a lot of the crazy faces I pulled when she gave us our prints, but that’s me, I can’t control my face and that photo summed up the day so well for me.
So what’s my point? I get the not wanting your photo taken thing but honestly the facebook photos after the event actually helped me come down slowly from the brilliant day – they came in gradually so the weeks after the wedding each day there were some new photos to look at, and I got to see what all my friends and family got up to on the day… You get each group of friends taking photos of each other and you get a record of all the people you love enjoying your celebration.
Another tip? Turn off the tagging function on facebook!
Ooooo loving the #tag idea!!! not sure Dave would be so impressed though! ha ha
Oh & thinking about it I may ask guests not to take photos during the ceremony – and myabe I will promise them all links to photos from the ceremony so they can have a copy of their own (liking the flikr idea aswell!)
@Karen & Pamela – tis true I had no idea what a curly blow was! :-/ BUT I now definitely want one!
xxx
hahaha there’s nothing wrong with it!!
Gosh well this made interesting reading! You know I hadn’t really thought about it until I looked through the professional photos from my cousin’s wedding last month. There in the middle of our lovely (professional!) family group shot was my gran(!!!) holding her blinking camera! Its all I could focus on and totally ruined the photos for me – luckily it wasn’t my wedding and I’m going to be making sure it doesn’t happen at ours.
However, I sort of agree with everyone (not that I’m against a bit of contention – usually I quite like it!). I don’t want pictures during the ceremony. We’re getting married indoors, in Scotland, so it’ll probably be a bit dark, and I don’t want flashes popping everywhere – its distracting for everyone. Also, I don’t want our professional photos ruined by ‘uncle bob’ (thanks @pamela – that was a great article). And I agree with many of the comments – I want my friends and family to be actually present at our wedding, not removed by watching through a screen.
But…. I don’t really mind what goes on facebook. It won’t take away from seeing the professional photographs a bit later. After all, I’ll never look so primed and perfect in all my life ever again so snap away folks!
When my best friend got married I took an excellent snap of her getting her hair done. I caught her mid back-comb, looking like she’d been electricuted. She’d already had her makeup done and was looking stunning despite the odd hairdo. I did post it on facebook, but I set it up so that only people I chose could see it – which was a very select group indeed! She didn’t mind because of this, and we’re all still laughing about it three years later.
You do make me chuckle lady! I hadn’t even thought of this issue but I really feel quite ambiguous about it – on the one hand I agree about the ubiquity of cameras/iPhones etc (Florence and the Machine at Manchester Arena a couple of months back, I was literally baffled by how many people felt the need to record the whole thing – don’t their arms get tired? Or are they combining tricep curls with amateur videography?!)
On the other hand, I was maid of honour to my good pal last year who had a ‘secret’ wedding – not strictly an elopement, they had already announced their engagement and wedding plans, then she started growing a third party in her belly and had to change plans quickly. The upshot was, until a week before there were literally about 6 of us who knew that the wedding was happening and all the details had to be planned hush-hush. In hindsight it was fun and brilliant that they managed to pull off the surprise (their general wedding announcement to the Facebook population was a picture of the two of them that I took and she uploaded after we’d all finished eating) but it’s left me with a frantic desire for full disclosure about every aspect of my wedding – I’m all secreted out! Hence, everyone but the lorry driver has seen pics of my frock and I ask opinions from all and sundry about details (the security guard at work had some interesting insights about table decorations, let me tell you!). So I really think I’ll enjoy seeing everyone’s take on the day, live on that internet.
Of course, I hate having my photo taken nearly as much as Pamela (squiffy left eye, occasional extra chin and a tendency to do a strange haughty expression completely unconsciously in the presence of a lens) so I could well be eating my words come February 3rd…x
Pamela, I love you, you make me chuckle on the most miserable of days!! I shall be looking out for you at Handforth Dean (best M&S ever of course!) in your rollers from now on!!
A friend of mine asked all of her guests not to upload any pictures to FB until the day after her wedding and every single person respected that and waited….i hope your guests will do the same for you!
xxx
Pamela- I LOVE the way you write!! this post had me in stitches, not least because I am now 6 weeks to W-Day and feel I might explode with excitement any minute like you.
I’ve not yet thought about Facebook, and kind think I have enough on my plate to manage two very different families coming together before and on the day. once I’m off on a plane to paradise they can do what they want! And if any ex-boyfriends, or bullies, or frenemies just so happen to see pics of fabulous little me on my fabulous big day then hey-ho! (tee hee)
I’ve come to this rather late but I wanted to comment as it struck such a chord. Firstly, in the interests of tranparency, I am a Facebook nay-sayer – I think it’s entirely too self-absorbed and I have no interest in someone’s update on their bus journey/stir-fry/washing basket. Yes, I know it’s useful for sharing photos etc but something about it gives me the heebeejeebies.
And there seems to be a trend that you haven’t experienced something unless you’ve filmed it or stuck it on your FB status. But like Pamela says, if you’re staring at your little screen, you’re missing what’s happening all around you, maybe out of your 4″ screen. You can replay the bit you got, but you miss the real thing (no, not Coca-cola). I’ve seen people in museums and art galleries, filming everything so they can “watch it when we get home”. Not the same experience people! That’s like saying that because you’ve watched James Bond, you’ve worked for MI6.
Memories are built of the things you tangibly experience, not the passivity of watching it afterwards out of context. And it’s memories that stay with you long after your memory card has crumbled to dust.
Not that I’ll know if there are horrible pics of me on FB of course. In fact, maybe I should join just to police that!
In all politeness, I think it’s silly.
We went to a wedding recently where the bride asked for no pics on facebook without her prior approval, and guess what it put everyone off taking photos because who wants to email them to the couple, then get an ok, then put them online.
And the couple were actually really disappointed that no one was posting photos in the weeks after (you know, the time before the prof photos come and you are dying to see a pic of yourself in your dress), and then they started asking people to put stuff up, but guess what, there weren’t photos to put up!
Also, these are your friends, they aren’t going to try to catch bad moments and then post them. They want to show the glowing bride and dashing groom and lovely flowers, etc. Also, the photos aren’t just for you, hello?! they are for friends and family that couldnt be there but want a glimpse of the big day!
Again, this is just coming from the other side, in case you hadnt considered these points.
OK I recognise that most of us probably have a touch of the Bridezilla in us, and we don’t want any of our friends or acquaintances to see our weddings (or us on our wedding days) as anything other than “perfect”. God forbid a FB snap doesn’t look blog worthy or we don’t look our Most. Beautiful. Ever. But IMO actually banning non-pro photos on FB is vanity bordering on the pathological. (Sorry… if I were your friend and you asked this of me, I would probably comply though!)
P.S. Your good friends wouldn’t put up a photo of you on your wedding day looking less than fab would they? and you might miss out on some corkers. I was determined not to have any photos of the wedding on facebook because I feel like it’s a private thing and didn’t want to be defined by being a bride when it’s just one day blah blah but then i was a total junkie after the wedding and just wanted to see every bloody photo ANYONE had taken. And friends took some of the funniest ones – my brother/bridesman larking about with Mr M’s nieces who fell in love with him completely over the weekend, us both giving a thumbs up after cutting the cake, me with my dress bunched up round my waist as the final and only option that let me actually do any ceilidh dancing – basically a lace and tulle spare tyre, kylie waist it wasn’t but it let me dance away with my guests…
Trust me on the day you won’t care what you look like because you’ll just be so bloomin happy looking at a sea of smiling faces and well wishers. MAGIC
@Clare totally agree with you – your friends are there to support you and won’t be out to take unflattering photos..
and @Ms B you raised an interesting point: having devoured RMW for the last year in the run up to my wedding, I have to say that when I saw all the photos I had a little downer because they capture the day amazingly but I had succumbed to the pressure to be the best version of yourself on the day, and maybe i was a bit disappointed because I still just looked like me! I don’t know what I thought would happen, that I would turn into natalie portman as I stepped into a wedding dress. Obviously not. I felt absolutely fabulous on the day and look happy and quite glowy if i do say so myself in the photos, but I’d maybe OD’d on gorgeous RMW brides and had placed too high expectations on myself! Doh!
So I know that’s a bit off point but am interested to know how people felt when they saw their photos. I love my photos now and am totally happy with them – I’m glad I look like me and that I was myself on my wedding day.
xxx
@Rebecca – yip, jump on board the curly blow!
@Lou – Oh I ADORE a secret and that wedding sounds really romantic! But I am NAFF at keeping secrets! I used to always tell my dad what his birthday presents were as soon as we had bought them.
@Jessie – Oooooooo, Handforth D, it’s just blinking brill isn’t it. The Big C always wonders why me and my mum are always toddling off there…and John Lewis is so near by it would be rude not to stop off!
@Karin – DELETE, DELETE, DELETE the frenemies! I had a wee purge a bit ago and boy did it feel GOOD!
I wish I could write about fun stuff all day long, I wish I had a book in me, but I’m not sure what the topic would be! Suggestions on a postcard!
@Peridot – What a lovely way of wording it. Enough said.
@Ms B – Granted, I’ll admit there is a touch of the vanity about it, but it’s mainly because I really want to keep the ‘specialness’ of our day…and to me, Facebook is just such an everyday occurance these days that it doesn’t, at the moment, strike me as being particularly ‘magical’ to see shots of the day on there…
I haven’t read all the gazillions of comments, but I’m afraid I agree with Mrs S…
A few days after my wedding some of the pictures people posted on Facebook made me feel a wee bit sad inside, like the wedding wasn’t as amazing as I remembered
Their flashes bouncing off my beautiful dupion silk frock made it look all shiny like I had a polyester dress, and their blurry rubbishness managed to remove all traces of my carefully done makeup.
I would much rather the first photos I saw have been either the professional ones or maybe some lovely personal ones taken by my Dad, rather than the paparrazi-style monstrosities posted by my Facebook-addicted friends.
On the other hand, once I’d calmed down, it was nice to see pictures from different people’s perspectives. So I think a plan to get people to upload them to a different site for viewing at a later date is tip top!
It’s so true about missing stuff when you are staring through a camera. When I used to shoot a lot of live music and we only had the official first three songs to shoot in, I’d often walk away from some of my favourite bands having NO idea what the three songs were. My brain isn’t as good at multi-tasking as I thought. So yes, good one, no grubby FB pics! Also, from a wedding photographer’s point of view, we spend weeks poring over each image from the wedding making it look fabulous and sometimes, it can slightly steal out thunder if a guest has leaned over our shoulders at the portraits part, and shot the same angle (but badly exposed) then posted it on the Facebook the same night.
I got married two years ago (OMG) and my husband and I went on honeymoon straight after. We didn’t mind people posting photos that they had taken from the wedding – we would just see them when we got back. However, some of our computer-whizz friends managed, somehow, to access the pictures the wedding photographer had taken!!!! (We were given our own web page which was password protected, and they sat for ages trying to work out the password, which wasn’t an obvious one I’ll add!). They then posted these pics to Facebook and as a result, all of our friends and family saw them before we did. Needless to say, I was incredibly angry! I wanted to view these pictures in private with the Mr before deciding to put them on Facebook. We obviously told our friends we weren’t happy, and they apologised, but we couldn’t change the situation.