This is a bit of a personal post to be honest. I never usually have any qualms about talking to you lovely lot…
But this time I’m a little nervous.
You see I’d like to reminisce about my own big day and a few beauty related topics I feel I got wrong.
Now it’s not easy for me to talk about getting anything wrong (I’m a stubborn aul cow), let alone share something so personal as how I looked and felt on my wedding day. But we’re all here to help each other out and maybe something I say will ring true with you.
So here goes…
I should have long luscious locks
I have always been a short haired girl. I have dabbled with the long locks on a few occasions but always breathe a sigh of relief when the hairdresser takes scissors to it. I feel sexier with short hair. Plus… with hair like mine (as unmanagable as an explosion at a mattress factory) it just makes damn good sense.
So naturally, as soon as I got engaged I decided to grow it…(!) Thus ensued a year and a half of cursing at the mirror, endless hours of straightening and enough bleach to choke a playboy bunny. Why? I have absolutely no idea.
Three days after we were married, I had myself booked into a fancy salon and had my hair cut into a short platinum crop. Strange isn’t it? And it’s so common. Most women actually grow their hair long just so they can pin it up! Why I didn’t just go for extensions to my flirty bob? Haven’t a clue. Or even just sported by bob on my wedding day? It’s like there’s some invisible pressure there to make you grow a mane. Why do you think it is?
I can do my own make-up
This is a funny one. Some of you may have read that subtitle and had a small heart attack because you’ve not booked a make-up artist. Well… in a cost saving exercise, I didn’t. I hate other people doing my make-up. I always feel caked and like I’m wearing someone elses mask. So my girls and I were to apply our own war paint for the day.
It got to the wedding day, I sat myself down surrounded by my newly purchased goodies and a big ole mirror in front of the window… And I froze. The light was funny, my hands were sweating and it dawned on me that I didn’t know how to apply make-up for the camera. I started panicking, then thankfully our friend Charlotte turned up. Luckily for me she swooped in and took over the make-up applying duties.
So the advice I will give you in this… If you plan to do your own make-up, awesome, please do. But make sure one of your girls knows the drill and get her to do a trial on you too. I totally didn’t expect to freeze up on the day, but I was so glad to have someone to hand who knew the look I was after.
I must be the thinnest I’ve ever been
This is very personal, but I’m going to throw it out their anyway. I have always been slim. Ranging around a 8-10. But in the six months before our wedding, I was so busy and stressed out that I went through a stage of cakes, cookies and comfort eating… and gained a stone.
This then turned into major self hate for my body in the months leading to my wedding. I lost confidence and started to place a God awful amount of blame on myself for not being like all other brides and slimming down as much as I could. After all, you’re meant to be at your thinnest for your wedding right?
Well, this my lovelies is complete and utter bullshit. On my wedding day I was still half a stone over my natural weight. And did I care? No. I honestly felt like the most beautiful woman in the world. I strutted around in my wedding dress, embracing my new found curves (and massive boobs!). Would I have felt any better if I were slimmer? I honestly don’t think it would have made any difference. I was too happy.
I am thinner now than I was on my wedding day, but I still look back at photos and love every shot. I think I look awesome. So if you’re naturally a 10, 24, 16 or 6… please just embrace your body. Your man thinks your the hottest thing he’s laid eye on. So why change who you are? Buy a dress for your shape and rock it.
I’d love to know your thoughts ladies…
Love,
Naomi
xoxo
Great post – particularly love your tips about embracing your body. It’s a shame so many brides feel such intense pressure to diet before the big day.
I also have no idea why there’s so much pressure on brides to have long hair – but it’s something that has annoyed me a lot through my engagement so far! I have a bright red bob, and if there’s one question that has been asked as many times as “how’s your planning going?” it is “are you growing your hair for the wedding?” Often followed by “will it still be red?”
I don’t get it! I’ve been dying my hair red for over a decade, and I LOVE having shorter hair and wouldn’t look or feel like me if I didn’t on my wedding day. But so many people still seem to think a brunette ‘up do’ is the only way to go – no thanks!
Thank you so much for what you have said about pre-wedding weight gain. I am getting married on Thursday and really believed I was the only bride to put on weight before my big day. I have in fact had to have my dress taken out! Pressure running up to the big day is immense and I’m sorry it may not be very cool but I EAT WHEN I’M STRESSED!!! Thank you once again, now, what’s for breakfast?!?!
Great post!
So funny what you say about growing your hair… I’m a bob girl too yet I’ve been growing it since I got engaged. I figure that I can get it cut before the big day if I still want a bob. But why do I feel like I have to have soft waves/curls? I have dead straight hair and surely I should embrace that if I want to look like me when I get married?
And now you’ve scared me about make up! I hoping that my hours spent watching Pixiwoo YouTube tutorials will have prepared me…?! x
Thanks for this post.
I am about 3.5 stones overweight, 3.5 stones from when we got together 6 years ago. I’m not happy with my weight but just can’t muster the energy to do anything concrete about it.
I went trying on dresses about a month ago, and yes you guessed it the sample sizes were all a size 12, i’m a very curvy girl even when slimmer, but Im about a 16-18 at the minute so you can only imagine how i felt being trussed up in tiny dresses. It made me feel so deflated about the whole dress thing that I cancelled two other appointments that i had ‘until i lose some weight’. Which I havent.
So, Im eating healthier and Im going to crack on with the exercise. I’m not so much losing the weight because Im getting married but because Im not happy, and those photo’s last forever and i want to think i look nice in them!!
As for make up, i am planning on doing my own as I dont wear very much and i dont want to feel like a cake face! I reckon between my mum and my sister they could manage it if I freeze!!
Oh, and my hair, never gets past my shoulders, it bores me, so my hair will be in a nice long bob, maybe with some waves, and a sparkley headpiece. I never wear it up so why would i for my wedding?! Plus the fact, i dont like me ears!!
Thanks for your honesty Naomi, seems like trivial little things but they are something we all worry about!!
Ooo sorry what an epic post, didnt mean to go on!!
You looked absolutely gorgeous on your wedding day, your hair was perfect and your face was flawless! We all look back on our big days and feel an element of ‘what the f**k was I thinking??’ I had a massive strop about my wedding day hair a few months back. Why did I have it like that when I could have done it myself and had it look so much more ‘me’? I have since made peace with it though, and moved on.
It’s funny the things we obsess about x
Hello beauties…
@Nikki – I am SO glad you’re sticking to your guns and rocking your own look. Funny that people feel the need to ask those questions, eh?
@Kirsty – You’re getting married on THURSDAY?! As in 4 days away?! Good God Batman you must be excited! Don’t worry about the weight gain. Way more common than you think. You’ll rock it all the same. xo
@Rebecca – Didn’t mean to scare you about the make up thing. Just prep you for all eventualities. I friggin love Pixiwoo by the way. They’re the best hangover cure. Let you’re maids/friends in on your plans so they can help out or even just give you advice if you get nervous on the day.
@Helen – It’s completely down to how you feel in your own skin. If you’re feeling lethargic and unhappy, your right to be tackling it with excersise and healthy eating. It’s guaranteed to make you feel happier and more energised.
As far as dress shopping goes, embrace your curves and screw the dress shops that put you in that position. There are bound to be some shops that carry a variety of sample sizes. Hunt them out.
It’s a shame that so much of the wedding industry has yet to cotton on that we’re not all barbie shaped.
Funny the things we end up worry about isn’t it? I think its a comment on the odd things society obsesses about – even perfectly sane women start worrying about trivia on their wedding days!
I have really fine hair so if it goes past my shoulders it looks thin and awful. When I last got it cut my wonderful hairdresser actually said ‘you’re going to wear it up so don’t grow it – it’ll look terrible on your honeymoon if you do and you won’t want to come and get it cut between the wedding and the honeymoon’. She said there’s no reason why it can’t be pinned up the length it is, so there you go.
However, I don’t wear make-up often and I have a bit of a thing about how I look in photos. To me, I always have a red shiny face and it makes me hate photos of myself. I’ll feel 100 times better if someone else does my make up and won’t worry when the photos are being taken. I feel a bit guilty about the expense but what the hell – its only going to happen once!
I am a size 18-20 and everyone expected me to lose weight for my wedding – but I have always been that size so if I had lost weight I knew I would put it back on! Mr H loves me the way I am and we do our best to eat well and go to the gym. I was incredibly lucky because my sister took me to a plus size bridal shop – and I could fit into every sample dress. I picked up my dress on Saturday and I can honestly say that I feel as happy in it as if I was a size 8 – it has been designed to pull me in and push me out and it looks amazing.
The make-up thing I struggle with and am about to book my third trail but taking my own products. I had an airbrush foundation and it just wasn’t me. Since then I have had a make-up lesson but still don’t feel confident enough to do it on the day.
As for the hair…well, I have grown a mane for my ‘Downton up do’ but like so many others I cannot wait to have a lot of it chopped off!!!
Lovely post! I actually chickened out at the last min on my wedding day and booked a make up artist 2 weeks before! I am very good with make up, but feared that I would also freeze! I believe I made the right choice for me and I wouldn’t change it!
As for my weight, I was a happy size 10 on my day, curves and boobs all the way I say! At one point I did think about trying to get my weight down and then realised it was not worth it, I was happy as I was so why change! I did try to watch what I ate, but I didn’t say no to that extra glass of wine, or hot dog on the odd occassion! Do not starve yourself of the goodies, you will be left one unhappy bride to be!!
Now the hair!!… I grew mine long for 18 months to pin it up and on the day I had too much hair!!! Stupid stupid stupid!! Rock the hair you want to ladies, and I completely agree that you do not have to grow your hair long to look like a bride! As soon as I got back from my honeymoon I had it all chopped and feel so much more like me!!!
Mrs S x
Ooh now this is a good post!
I am actually going to be disappointed that my hair is not as long as I would like on my wedding day. However I’ve been aiming for floor sweeping Maid Marian locks my whole life
I will be doing my own make up on the day and I’m hoping that I won’t freeze up. I used to to a bit of pantomime and choir stuff so I’m used to applying slap while nervous
I haven’t tried slimming at all. I have lost half a stone anyway which is interesting. I could stand to loose a bit but I feel great in myself at the moment and my fiancée loves my curves. It’s a win all round really.
Biggest things I’m doing beauty wise are my nails and skin. I’ve been using some nice oil given to my by my mum on my nails and I’ve started with a nice face mask every couple of days. Currently I’m a spotty oik hehehe
I know so many people who are growing their hair for the big day, who normally wouldn’t dream of having it long.
In fact one of my friends said the other day, “I can’t wait til after the wedding to get my hair cut short again!” How bizarre right?
I have always had longish locks, however always fantasise about having short sexy ones. It scares the bejesus out of me so I kept it long for wedding day…then had it up….what’s the logic there??
I am waiting until I have a few more stones off (my own personal goal) and then I may have a shoulder length effort, I have recently joined the side fringe gang and quite loved it. Still not brave enough for the full fringe yet though.
Ooops, sorry to have digressed there.
Naomi you looked amazing on your wedding day!!
I think there is so much pressure to look a certain way, and really you just need to be you. Whether that’s with the extra few pounds…or with a few less…just be happy!
xx
Great post! I had been growing my hair long for my wedding, but I recently chopped it to shoulder length, because it suddenly occurred to me that I don’t HAVE to have long hair just because I’m getting married.
Where does this feeling of ‘I have to have long hair on my wedding day’ come from? I think some of it originates in wanting to feel like a ‘princess’ – and most (all?) Disney princesses have long hair. We’re also bombarded with images of long-haired women in bridal magazine advertising. And sometimes, just knowing that friends/family are expecting you look a certain way as a bride (long wavy hair, white dress etc) can exert a considerable amount of pressure.
I say let’s be brave and have the hair that makes us feel like US.
I’m having the exact problem with my wedding day hair! I’ve had a bob since I was 15 and long hair looks terrible on me – my hair is super flat and just sits like an awkward mop shapeless on my head… however I am doing the typical bride thing and growing it, and I.HATE.IT. It sits tied up on my head 6/7 days styled to look as if I have short hair! I am seriously considering having extensions in as all I want is a pretty tied up do – having short hair makes me crave a flowing princess plait sometimes, I just don’t want to grow my hair to get there! Can anyone recommend the best route to go for them?
Also, its so good to see the brides in agreement with the weight changes too – why are we made to believe that long hair and skinny brides are the way forward?! Barbie wedding magazine or? xx
My wedding having been 3 years ago and what with being a wedding blogger and all you can imagine the amount of time/the amount of things I have seen that I would potentially do “differently” – I must have changed every single element at one point or another.
One thing I wouldn’t do is go to the gym as much – I was obsessed. And I used to get stressed out if I couldn’t go which effected my skin…..and made me break out in eczema…which stressed me out….which made it worse.
I got too muscly – some Honeymoon pics of me it’s like looking at a small bony female version of Popeye, not attractive.
My main piece of advice would just be to sit back and literally “breathe” – take it all in, planning can be fun (honest!) you just need to take a break occasionally and prioritise the aspects that are the most important to you.
I wrote about hair the other day (I still haven’t gone for the chop!) but I love short hair for W-day, can’t really understand why folk feel they need to grow it if they don’t love it long.
Charlotte xxx
@Inbal I feel the same about make-up. I hardly ever wear much and only have 1 tinted moisturiser, 1 eyeshadow, 1 mascara (that I hardly ever use as I get my eyelashes dyed) and 1 cheek gel (Pixi – its awesome) in my make-up bag. That’s IT. That’s fine for everyday.
But I know I will feel much more confident if I feel I’m looking the best I possibly can on my wedding day. My photographer’s portfolio is full of the most exquisitely beautiful brides I’ve ever seen, I feel I owe it to her if anything to give her a subject worth shooting… I’d hate to look back at the beautifully lit and composed photos of the lovely scenes we’ve created, only to be ruined by the inclusion of me with blotchy skin and flaky mascara. Sounds nuts, but that’s how I feel!
SO, I’m uncharacteristically splashing out on a local makeup artist who specialised in airbrush makeup. I’m hoping that this will give me a flawless finish without feeling too caked.
I think it’s part of a larger set of pressures that women face around conventional understandings of female beauty, which then intensifies around weddings. We’re bombarded all the time with images of femininity that conform to specific idealised types, and even though we may work against that in our daily lives, the pressures and associations are still there. Throw in the pressure of being “the beautiful, blushing bride” it’s no wonder many of us start looking towards those images for reassurance that we will “look the best we ever will
I’m not immune – I’ve been busily growing my hair for the last two years (well before we got engaged) because I’m convinced that long, swishy, wavy hair will make me somehow more feminine and attractive. Even though I’m also fully aware that a well maintained bob suits my freakishly small face much better.
I wish I had the gumption to do my own make-up, but I really want an eyeliner flick, and for some reason, I can only do that on my right eye. My left eye line is always a shaky, shiner-like mess.
Just got a bit teary reading that last bit as I worry so much about hating my photo’s when I look back at them. Only have 3 weeks to go so cant change much now and when I had my dress fitting the other day I felt amazing in it but just worried that when I look back at them I will be picking out all my bad bits instead of remembering the day with a smile as I should! I am my own worst enemy
(
xx
What a perfect post. My wedding was a year ago now – I can’t believe it!! And I still have regrets over things. My hair – I wish I’d had it all up rather than half up/down. Firstly, I’d forgotten to get it cut in the run up to the wedding, seriously with all the planning I had done how did this slip my mind?!?! Also, it was very hot and I got sweaty and it looked messy! Urgh…
Also, my dress! I chose it because my mum loved it and cried – my mum NEVER cries! It wasn’t what a wanted, but at the time I felt good in it, as I was one of the few dresses I could actually get in to as I was also an above average sized bride…. also, I bought my dress from a shop where my parents live, which made fittings a nightmare, and as I lost 2 stone before my wedding (because I really needed to, because I’m naturally a size 14 and had got up to an 18+) my dress wasn’t able to be taken in enough so was in fact too big on my wedding day and some of the pictures are annoying as you can tell it was too big…BUT on the day I felt absolutely 1000000% FANTASTIC! And everyone said I looked radiant and no one noticed my dress was too big and I honestly couldn’t have given a razzle-dazzle because it was my wedding day and this was my wedding dress!! My mother-in-law told me later that one of her best moments of the day was when I walked into the room during the evening do, and I pushed the double doors open with each hand and strode in like I owned the place, I had one of our hot pink chair sashes tied around my waist and my hands on my hips! I don’t really remember this as such – or even why I had a chair sash around me?! – but I know I felt the happiest and most content I ever have and I know that feeling will stay with me forever.
(PS. Sorry for going on!!!! This post has really touched a nerve!
)
(PPS. My work colleague and I have just had a discussion – as I had to tell her it wasn’t Charlotte writing this post today – and we wonder if maybe you could introduce who is writing the posts at the begging? Only on some occasions, especially with so many lovely ladies contributing now, it is difficult to work out who we have the pleasure of reading from post to post.
)
I’ve had a bit of ‘what shall I do with my fringe’ stress as some of you know, and it’s thanks to you girls that I am doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING with it. My fringe is like my little trademark – it’s ME!
My best mate grew her hair for her wedding, what was she doing at 1pm the day after? She was in Toni & Guy getting the chop!
My major stress is my bingo wings and jelly belly, so yes I will probably watch what I eat and become more active on the run up to the day, but the truth is I am far too lazy to do anything more than that!!
xxx
Hmm..I’ve just noticed that if you click through to the actual post then it does say who it is written by at the very top! But normally we just read posts from the homepage. Sorry booot that!!
I waited until I had lost weight to try on wedding dresses and 12 weeks before the wedding broke my ankle playing netball (part of my pre wedding weight loss regime!!). Now with 5 weeks to go my wedding dress does not fit! Will I fit into before the day? I’m not sure. I really wish I’d just bought a dress for the size I was. It is miserable trying to lose weight in the run up to the big day!
I’ve been a married for a whole week and 3 days now (loves it!) and I’m already looking back at things that I did, didn’t do.
hair: I’ve always had long hair, rarely go to the hairdressers, occassionally have a fringe and wear it in lots of up do’s. I knew I wanted it all pinned up so I didn’t have to fuss with it and if there was a spot of humidity (there was!) or rain (there was!), I would have been a frizz bomb. I felt fab on the day but looking back I’m thinking, “was it too bridal?? To hair spray crispy?” But I slap myself and say on the day and on photo’s you can’t see the hairspray. I couldn’t feel a single grip and never got a ‘hair headache’, plus I didn’t have to fuss with it, fix it once. No brainer, it was the right decision.
Make-up: I had it done professionally. The best decision I ever made. It didn’t feel caked on and stayed put all day and night. I can’t recommend Katy Bird enough!
Weight: I thought I’d want to be super skinny, I’m normally a size 12 and fluctuate by about stone. Suprisingly I didn’t do anything to loose weight, I must have been happy with myself. But I lost about half a stone leading up to the day with natural nerves so fell to the lower end of my natural weight. So far I haven’t seen a single ‘fat arm photo’, so I’m happy
Go what feels right and be aware that your boy wants to marry who it knows and loves, not some bridal mag, fake beauty x
Talking of peer pressure – as the only girl (the boss) in a team of men (the workers) they are *just* as bad as us ladies.
One of them – who seems to solely survive on protein shakes and multivitamins actually REMOVED my whispa from my hands on Friday.
From. My. Hands.
oh, he also was chanting “Think of the dress. Think of the dress”
Not helpful, but helpful, if you get what I mean.
I would like to tone up a bit, but I’ve got a serious case of The Guilts now, and like Charlotte, my eczema now looks pants.
right. I need a whispa!!!
@mimi – You have completely made my day. It’s gorgeous to hear a woman so confident with her body and unwilling to bend to the media’s “ideal”. Big huge massive love.
@Alex Mrs M – Thank you lovely!!
@Claire – Sweetheart. Trust me when I tell you that you will look back on your wedding photos and love how damn happy you look. There is nothing sexier than a woman who sports confidence and a genuine smile. xo
Fab post!
It is absolutely nuts how we all start growing our hair the moment he pops the question!?!! I’m not going to lie – I’m exactly the same. As I have mentioned previously I have always struggled with my hair – it is ridiculously fine and has the most irritating cowslick (hence the heavy fringe to keep it down!) Plus I get bored of it really really easily & so have had so many different haircuts. So to be honest I am surprised I have lasted this long without having it cut again…..and was sorely tempted when Charlotte posted her piece on that amazing Naomi Watts haircut (I still want hair like that!)
As for make-up, I was considering doing my make-up myself but am starting to re-think this…
1) due to a few pics from recent weddings in which you can barely see my make up efforts
& 2) I have a sneaky feeling I may end up a bit like you Naomi & have a sudden panic and as Charlotte know panicing and eczema do not go!
plus @Morrigan I am exactly the same with my eyeliner flick one eye always looks a little bit wierd and having recently seen a few pics of brides with beautiful eyeliner flicks under their birdcage veils I am desperate to re-create this look for me!
It is terrible really that often all the wedding images you see are of brides with barbie like figures & long flowing locks but I think it’s great that there are now blogs out there such as RMW which is helping brides to be to question these so-called ideals, and reminding us all that actually the most important thing is to be ourselves, fringes, pale skin & eczema included! So thank you guys
xxx
@Jo-Li – You go and get that Wispa back and tell your colleague to do one! how rude!
For eczema I use 0.1% hydroquortisone cream, they sell 1% in Boots (too strong for the face) but if you ask your GP they can get 0.1% for you, I try not to use it often but for eyelids/around your mouth it is a God send when you have a bad flare up.
I’ve also cut out dairy from my diet – has made a massive difference to my skin.
Charlotte xxx
Right thanks to this post, I have just ordered my dream dress.
Found it on Saturday,loved it, I cried, mum cried, my future in mother in law cried and she wasn’t even there I just told her about it! But then my this morning I had convinced myself I was too big for it (even though I was strutting around in it not 48 hours ago!) and people would expect me to go for something less figure hugging due to my shape.
Then I read this post, and thought back to the lady in the shop telling me people actually have implants put in their bums to make them look like mine (she was such a good saleswoman -loved her) and then bang ordered it.
As always girls massive thank you. I don’t know how you do it but these posts always seem to come at the perfect time to sort out my indecision! xxxx
@Charlotte Looks like we’re doing the same thing
I’m also trying bleach baths (stinky but works) and oats on the face.
After seeing me sporting an oat face mask in a bleach bath reading Harry Potter for comfort, I can safely say Mr Li loves me |———-| at least that much
@Jo-Li – Out Of Your Hand?!! Sack him. Tomorrow. Rude.
@Mrs D to be – I actually just stopped everyone in my living room (friends over), made them put the telly on mute and read out your comment. Honestly, I am so so happy that you consider RMW a place where you can get a wee confidence boost to trust what you want and be yourself. I want to see pictures of you in that dress! (P.S. I also have a ghetto booty and my man loves it. I hope you plan to sashay around in that dress.)
This post is so spot on – its like you read my mind!
After going into my first wedding dress shop and being referred to as ‘heavy busted’ (not cool) – I felt a bit deflated by the whole experience and a bit down on my body! But then I rocked up at Fur Coat No Knickers boutique and the girls there made me feel fabulous again – I’ve said it before but having the right suppliers really makes all the difference. They didn’t treat my ‘generous’ bust as an issue to be solved – instead they are encouraging my to rock my curves and we’ve even discussed how much wedding cleavage is the right amount (answer – however much you want!! get the girls out and rocking!!). There is nothing better then seeing a bride rocking her hourglass curves in a second-skin fishtail gown or flashing her pins in a little 50′s number – its all about finding the dress for you – the one that makes you wanna spin around like Kylie! We would all do well to remember there is no such thing as an ideal wedding body – just an ideal dress for your unique sexy body! I don’t mean to be preachy – I work surrounded by gorgeous girls (in the fashion industry) and hate seeing anyone put themselves under pressure to be something they aren’t!
Weddings are expensive and a bit stressful – who wants to be hungry on top of that??? Not hot!!!
I’ll be rocking my red hair, fringe and curves at my wedding because they are all part of me – but I am using a makeup artist as my hands go to jelly and crusty-the-clown will not be a good wedding makeup reference me thinks!
A cautionary tale, ladies, this post has prompted me to get around to contacting my preferred make-up artist, 10 months in advance, only to find she already has a provisional booking for our date. :’(
If you’re thinking about hiring a pro – get on with it!!
Hi Ladys
I just want to say how good this post made me feel, i was a size 14 when i met my fiance and was at my smallest i was previously a size 22, now after much love from my hubby to be and cakes i am back to a size 20-22 and dont feel very comfortable back in this body but my wedding day is approaching fast (only 26 days left) and have embraced my inner goddess and tried my dress on and felt absolutely amazing and realised it doesn’t matter what size i am, i know it will be the happiest day of my life and my husband to be will be right there with me :0)
Much Love
Really interesting to read your comments on weight – I’m a size 10 and have always been this size. I have lost count of the number of people who have asked me if I plan on losing weight for my big day (8th September) or who tell me it is inevitable that I will lose weight due to the stress. I feel there is almost a level of expectancy that I will/should be slimmer.
Brilliant post! I can totally relate to all three points.
Hair – weirdly I had loved having shorter bobbed hair but the minute we got engaged (and all the way running up to the wedding) I grew my hair so that I would have “more choice”. So weird that so many of us are compelled to do that! As it happend I enede up having a ‘fake bob’ Riddick!
Make up – luckily I saw the light before hand and booked the fab Elbie ven Eden to do my hair and make up. She did sucvha good job. It lasted all day and I had no need to do touch ups which I think would have been the case had I attempted my own face.
Weight – I too put on weight in the run up to the wedding. I had a blind panic when I had to get the dress altered. Nearly all of my friends dropped around half a stone before theirs and I think that I thought I would do the same but I guess I wasnt THAT stressed!
I do look at the photos and think maybe I should have tried harder to lose a few pounds before hand and that makes me a little sad. Having said that, there were hundreds of other things that made me happy about the day so the fact that I felt a littel overweight pales into insignificance!
* Correction*
Elbie van Eeden – sorry typing too fast!
A fantastic post – it’s so lovely to read everyone’s comments. Very inspiring and reassuring as I’m getting married in 26 days and I just need to stop.and.breathe. More difficult than originally anticipated.
It helps that my fiance is the Most Patient Man on Earth(TM)
) x
Totally hear everything you’re saying Naomi, espesh the weight/size issues.
Personally, I have felt it most POST wedding. A couple of people have made comments to me about how x, y and z lost so much weight for their weddings, aren’t they amazing etc, and I’ve just felt an undertone of “so why didn’t you”.
Maybe I’m being hyper sensitive and over analysing things, but that’s how it feels. No, I didn’t lose a significant amount of weight (hell I would need to move my hip bones to get my hips any smaller!) – but I did tone up, improve my fitness, and in the last couple of months dropped just over half a stone (definitely stress related!).
Looking at our photos/video I don’t see what I look like, or to be honest, any of the wedding details… I just see how happy me and Mr P are.
I guess it’s just a little upsetting that some people feel the need to make careless comments!
xoxo
Weight, hair, make up….is all a complete headache… but of course you are going to get stressed about how you look, it’s not very often you have that many people staring at you!
I got married 3 weeks and 2 days ago (already it is going so quick) and a few things I would do differently.
1) Stress less about being thin…I am an 8 in most things anyway (only 5”2 tho) but not as toned as I was in my younger days and should have just got off my ass and exercised, but was just sensible (which mainly meant not drinking as much in the week!) but didn’t really account for the stress loss at the end and most of it seemed to come off my boobs..grrr. So I felt pretty good, but think I look a bit thin and the Mr said the other day I looked a bit scrawny in some of the pics. Great. (However given the way we ate/drank on honeymoon this is very much rectified!).
2) Be more planned with hair – don’t go to a French hairdresser without very detailed pictures. I forgot mine and not only was he a complete diva and WOULDN’T LET ANYONE WATCH HIM (!!!), he put about 18 cans of hairspray in it. Wasn’t a fan although safe to say it don’t move…
3) Always knew I’d do my own make up as we were abroad but the hairdressers beautician had promised me they could do my individual false eyelashes…..until the actual day when she went a bit pale and said hadn’t done them for years and they would probably take about an hour – that of course we didn’t have. So no pretty eyelashes for me.
But just to echo all of the above, once the ceremony is over and you’ve stopped feeling sick (a couple of Pimms in for me) you won’t give a tiny rats ass, honest…..you just have to try not to pick yourself apart in FB pics!!
xx
It is really interesting and in some strange way a relief to see that even the girls comments above who are size 12 or below (My ‘goal’ size) still have the exact same pressure and fears about their size as I do! I think for me it is just the fact that I will be standing there infront of so many people all looking at me! I dont want to feel like any of them are judging me, but I have to remember those people are all my nearest and dearest and they all love me no matter what so I just need to stop stressing! and as for the post wedding photos @ Naomi hopefully you are right and I will just see the happy glow coming from me and my new hubby and not my bingo wings!! lol xx
I’m not losing weight for the wedding, I don’t have the willpower! I might change my mind when we get our pre-wedding photos and I see what I look like!
I’m having dilemmas about my hair, its longer than I would like (I ALWAYS get toothpaste in it, plus anything I eat that’s wet..bean juice, gravy, all sorts! So attractive!) When I had my hair trial I had it curly and I loved it but now I think its a bit…..predictable!
Hi lovely ladies,
This post has got me thinking too, mainly concerning the amount of people I have spoken to and read about that have had nasty comments from ladies working in bridal shops.
I asked my boyfriend of 5 years to marry me last July, on his birthday. On the lead up to this I had been going to Weight Watchers since April and had lost just over 2 stone. I genuinely believe that losing that weight gave me the confidence to pluck up the courage to ask him and just generally boosted my self esteem.
I was SO excited that he said yes that I booked appointments to try on dresses straight away. After finding THE dress and ordering it in a size 10, as it fit perfectly last September, I went back in January this year to try on MY ACTUAL DRESS only to find it was very tight around my bottom…I went for a figure hugging fishtail style to show off my new figure. The lady in the shop said…and I quote “Somebody over-indulged over Christmas!” in a very snide way. I was horrified, she then proceeded to tell me to stop moving so much as the seams may burst once I got it on…IT DID STILL FIT (but was quite snug)! I came away feeling mortified at her comments and how rude she was to my face, especially after her comment as I left…”Less of the cake Katy!”
Well, initially I was shocked that she even said those things, then I felt like crying, it was so hurtful, especially since she had been so nice on the day I found the dress. Then, I entered the nearest cafe and ordered a massive bacon and brie baguette!!! And it was the BEST baguette I have ever had.
I have since been to collect my dress (luckily the lady in question wasn’t working that day or I would have given her a piece of my mind). It is now hung in a friend’s wardrobe until July next year. I am most definitely taking my dress to another seamstress for the alterations that may be needed on it! She has well and truly lost my custom and I will look brilliant on my wedding day, even if my dress does need taking out!!!
How do these people get away with thinking it is acceptable to make comments about bride to be’s weight? Whether they are gaining it, or losing it! They are there to make sure we feel our best on that one special day, not to add pressure to this already stressful time!
Rant over…
Oh and thank you @Lauraaa, I have very long hair too (always have) and it frequently gets covered in gravy, soap and toothpaste, pleased I’m not the only one
x
Much love to you all, embrace what you have and just enjoy your wedding day…that will produce the best photographs of your day and the most amazing memories too xXx
Not quite the same, but a couple of months ago I lopped 6 inches off my hair one week before I was MoH at my best friend’s wedding! For years I’d had a bob in increasingly short lengths and varying blondes, ending up with a peroxide crop a la Naomi. Then – because you always want what you don’t have – I started pining for flowing beachy waves to play with, so grew it in the run up to the wedding. By the month of the wedding it was about boob grazing length, I practised with straightners and salt sprays and backcombing and had a few nights out with rockin’ hair as I perfected it. But as I sat in the hairdresser, my head laden with foils, I thought ‘sod it’ and had the chop. Nothing too dramatic, just under the chin with choppy layers. On the day I did it myself big and textured, and I felt fabulous and like ME.
And don’t worry, the bride was pleased – she’d been telling me to cut it for months so she could live vicariously through me as she grew her own in preparation for the big day!
This is such a fantastic topic and so interesting to read everyone’s comments..
I am a short hair girl but grew my hair for the wedding – mainly because I wanted it off my face and the reason I have it short is because I’m useless at styling it so it always ends up in a ponytail if its long. I figured my wedding was an opportunity to have the up do of my dreams that I can never achieve myself, had a nice thick fringe so was chanelling zoey deschanel… BUT as I am not someone who ever does much with my hair, I had no idea how to describe to the hairdresser what I wanted, except to say ‘loose, not too bridal’. The first trial was a birds nest nightmare. I wanted it to look shiny but casual, as if I had done it myself (although anyone who knows me ie all my guests would know that wasn’t the case). On the day my hair wasn’t what I’d imagined, but everyone said it looked great and I like it in the photos. A month after the wedding, it was back to ear skimming short, and have since gone shorter. I wish I had been brave enough to go short on w-day but I just went into autopilot and grew it. Glad to hear I’m not the only one brainwashed into doing that..
On the weight thing – I did more exercise in the run up to the wedding than normal but that was more to de-stress than anything and I wasn’t aware of losing weight or putting it on particularly. Our secretary at work made a comment every time she saw me eating anything ‘oooh you’ve got a wedding dress to fit into’ and I got a lot of ‘banter’ on site (from men I might add) querying whether I was on a pre-wedding diet that made my blood boil. I totally understand for some people they use the wedding day as a sort of deadline for fixing little body niggles they might have – I did the same in that I was determined to have glowy skin for w-day – but this assumption that all brides must go on a diet is totally mental and scream inducing. My response to the comments were as follows:
‘it’s ok, Mr M likes me fat’ or ‘it’s ok – my dress has an elasticated waist’. I think people thought I was the grumpiest bride ever but seriously why does getting married give people permission to comment on your appearance in the run up to the day? NUTS.
When I see the photos and video of our day, the thing that stands out is the big smiles and the general joy – not how toned (or not) my arms are or how flat my stomach is (or isn’t). We shouldn’t feel pressure to be someone other than who we are for that day – if anything it’s when you should be your most YOU.
Sorry have rambled on, it’s an affliction for which I will seek help!! x
Sorry a ps..
@Katy – you are exactly right, you don’t look at your body when you get the photos you just look at how thrilled you are with your new husband and all the love in the room! magic.
@Claire I hope reading all the posts from the lovely ladies reassures you – I think I could have turned up in a bin bag on the day and still beamed from ear to ear from morning to night – in fact I changed into jeans and a scabby jumper at the end of the night to go to the hotel bar after the reception (still rocking my ‘wedding hair’ and birdcage veil natch) and was still happy as larry and decidedly less than perfect. IT WILL BE GREAT XXX
This is so interesting – I have had a very short pixie cut for the last 10 yrs, and only started growing my hair last year as my boyfriend had never seen me with long hair… then of course he proposed, and I don’t know what to do with it now! It’s got to chin length, so no hope of having long locks by my wedding in December, but I don’t know whether to leave it this length or just chop it all off again. Plus there are literally NO decent examples of good short wedding hairstyles… it is as if you are not allowed to appear in magazines/websites if you don’t have long flowing locks!
It is such a fiddle styling it each day and I never feel happy with the results… perhaps I should just go with what i feel comfortable in and go back to the pixie cut…
Anyone in the same boat with really short hair?! x
For some unknown reason my Mum is growing her hair!!! I’ve no idea why, she’s had the same long bob haircut ever since I can remember and always styles it exactly the same way, no matter what the occasion. It looks smart and it suits her, so why change it? Apart from the perm she used to have at uni there aren’t even any photos of her doing anything different with her hair, and she’s picked her hat to work with her usual hair so goodness only knows what she’s got planned!
I’ve always had long hair so I’m keeping it that way for the wedding, and after much longing for a complicated up-do that my hair is probably too thin for I’ve finally settled on a variation of a half-up style I frequently wear myself (only the hairdresser will make it look much better). Hopefully I’ll look like me, only slightly less messy than usual.
Absolutely love this post – and all your lovely ladies comments above. It just goes to prove that all brides have the same worries and concerns – my view is that there is just so much amazing choice, that there can always be another way or another style which just ‘might’ suit you better, but you have chosen what you have for a reason, and that’s what I keep trying to remind myself in the run up to the big day.
I’m 3 weeks away from the big day, worrying about many decisions, including whether I should have had more make up trials, whether my hair will last the distance, and not getting to the gym enough in between work, but it’s just too late now!! I’m just keeping my fingers crossed that it all comes together – eek!
Btw – this is my 1st RMW comment but a huge shout out to the team for your amazing work, the endless inspiration and advice has been the fuel of my wedding planning, so much so, I’m pretty sure my groom is likely to mention my addiction to your blog in his speech! I’m planning our wedding in the UK whilst living in Barcelona, and the help you’ve provided has made that task thousands of times easier! Good luck in the new HQ – it looks amazing!
I know I am late joining this thread but am catching up after holidays and really wanted to share this…
Recently a good friend of mine got her wedding photos back from the photographers and as we were looking through them together she commented that she thought the most important thing was that the bride’s dress, hair and makeup were perfect…this has set me to thinking…I was not that bride…but I was still the happiest I could imagine being.
We married last year and although I had planned/hoped to be my most shiny ever, a few weeks before our wedding my father in law died. Cancelled were the hair trials and make up trials and other final preparations, and the family set about arranging a funeral. We thought it important that our wedding still go ahead, after all my father in law enjoyed 50 years of marriage and we were eager to set off on the same journey, but many little details never got finished. On the day my lovely hairdresser tried, but my “wavy” hair was a bit of a disaster so when we reached the hotel I plopped it up no my head. I never had a makeup trial so I did my own, but forgot to buy blusher, none of us had a pencil sharpener for eyeliner and my eye lashes were more threaten with mascara than properly coated as I was nervous…
The reason I wanted to share this…in case anyone is reading this in months to come….is because: if anyone had told me in the lead up to the wedding that my hair would be falling down on the way out of the ceremony and my makeup would be, well, bog standard, I might have had a major wobbly and panic attack. BUT. On the day it did not matter one ounce. I wish I could share a picture because I look the happiest I have ever been with my hair half falling down and covered in confetti
I have to say that I LOVE this post!! I am a curvy lady (size 14) and am freaking out about my size and fitting into my wedding dress and looking fat in my photos.
At my smallest I was a size 10 but that was after a bad break up and I wouldn’t exchange my happiness now for being a size 10 again. I looked gaunt and too thin for my height. If you have any tips for weightloss, I am all ears!!
Bobbie x
The weight issue is something close to me. Being a 12/14 when getting engaged, I immediately started a VLCD and the gym 5 times a week. My wedding is still not for another year but my weight has plummeted. I haven’t eaten a carb in months and drink around 5 pints of water a day, Coke Zero and when I absolutely must a small meal of protein and lettuce. I can see I am ill, my fiancé can see that I am ill but I don’t even know where to begin making things right. Food literally scares me and exercise I enjoy, it is a vicious cycle. I am not even sure why I am posting this here. I want my wedding to be a happy event but at the moment it seems to be hanging over me, spurring this issue on.
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