*Afternoon lovelies! hope you are well and enjoying the sunshine (seriously what was that rain about yesterday?!). I’m going to introduce you today to Anne (or Annie if she happens to feel like it), regular RMW-er, freelance journalist and the commenter that led to Naomi’s very popular “Sometimes The Road Gets A little Bumpy” post. Anne sent me this as more of a bit of advice to our ilove@rockmywedding address…but I thought it was worthy of its very own afternoon slot. Please feel free to leave Anne some feedback, we would love you to join the debate.
Admitting you’re wrong? Not the easiest thing in the world. So much simpler to just keep burying your head in the sand. Or, in my case, to keep on planning to cover my head in accessories I didn’t even like.
Until I remembered reading on RMW that you should LOVE everything to do with your wedding. Not just like it, not just think it’s nice, but absolutely love it.
And when you spend hours browsing the net for the pieces you’d buy if you started again from scratch now… you don’t love it. When you take your wedding jewellery out every couple of weeks and try to convince yourself that you actually do like it… you really don’t love it.
There’s nothing wrong with my jewellery. It’s beautiful. But it’s not me, and it doesn’t all belong in the same outfit. I don’t even like my bag, for crying out loud.
Buying my dress was like falling into a giant vat full of sparkly jewellery. People didn’t so much dress me as decorate me. I HAD to add a sash, they said. My dress NEEDED a statement necklace. Overwhelming? Just a bit.
I ended up making an appointment to go back a few days later, just to spend some time in front of the mirror wearing my dress and nothing but my dress. I realised I didn’t want to wrap anything round it or stick anything onto it. As Coco Chanel said, less is definitely more.
Shame I forgot Coco’s philosophy when it came to my accessories. I got carried away and bought some pieces in haste simply because I had a discount code. They arrived and they were… fine. There was nothing wrong with them.
So instead of sending them back, I dismissed my concerns, told myself I loved them and kept on telling myself that.
Not only had I got carried away with the sparkle, I also fell into the trap of thinking I needed to wear new, different things rather than anything I wore every day because, well, those were the rules, weren’t they?
My fiance bought me a beautiful, delicate diamond necklace our first Christmas together. I wear it all the time, so I presumed I wouldn’t wear it on my wedding day. Never mind the fact that it has more sentimental value than any new necklace I could possibly buy. Never mind how strange and sad I felt about the prospect of leaving it behind when I got married.
Post-epiphany, I know I’m going to wear that necklace. And I had a good rummage in my old bedroom at my parents’ house and found a string of pearls a family friend gave me years ago, which I’m having restrung into a bracelet.
I’ve bought a new bag – a steal from ebay. And I am buying one new statement piece: a sparkly headband, one I actually love and which suits me and my dress.
Selling the first load of accessories should make back enough to cover the new headband, bag and the cost of having my pearls restrung, so at least I won’t be any more out of pocket, but I won’t make back the full price.
So, in the interest of stopping any other brides from making the same mistakes I did, here’s what I’ve learned about putting your w-day outfit together.
- Coco Chanel wasn’t kidding when she said that less is always more. Tempting as it may be to cover yourself in an abundance of bridal candy, consider sticking to just one statement piece. There’s only so many focal points one outfit can take.
- Don’t assume you’re somehow obliged to buy something new just because it’s your wedding – look in your own jewellery box before going shopping. Is there anything you’d like to wear on your wedding day? Could you give any old jewellery a new lease of life by having it re-set or restrung?
- Don’t rush into buying anything, or make a purchase simply to take advantage of a discount code. I wish I’d taken more time to look at pictures of real brides and consider why I liked their overall look, rather than just eyeing up individual pieces. Turned out my favourite real bride was wearing a couple of vintage dress clips from a market and some borrowed costume jewellery – hardly bank-breaking, but she looked utterly fabulous.
- Trust your instincts. However informed a person’s opinion, and however forceful their delivery, they can still be wrong about what you should or should not wear.