Okay, so I’m a big fat fraud and wore a massively huge dress on my wedding day. But I look back now and think… WHY? Why oh Why did I let my well dressed (usually,) stylish self, obsessed with fashion and design, fall into the princess bride category?
I like to credit every one of our readers with certain attributes. I sit here writing for a bunch of educated, smart, witty, intelligent and creative women, who normally (and lets face it, we all have a sweats day – more often than we probably care to admit,) make the best of ourselves for work, never mind a party. So the biggest day of your life looms, the biggest party and suddenly up pops the biggest dress you’ve ever seen in your life and we think it’s a great idea?!
Now some of you might be thinking, ‘It’s easier for her to say, she got her big white dress’, which is all well and good. With the benefit of hindsight, it’s always easy to make difficult-at-the-time decisions. But when I look back, I remember being totally turned off by all the big and frothy creations. I went looking for fish tail lace and was seduced by the princess look, the ‘you’ll only get to do it once’ line only because I managed to find one that was virtually unembellished. But I’m not sure it was really ‘me’.
So I’m here to tell you… Step away from the dress!
It might be controversial (but we love a bit of that at RMW!), and there might be some of you desperate to reach your Wedding day and swish that big full skirt, and to those of you I say, you Rock it. If it’s for you then thats what you should have, we’re all about doing it your way, here at Rock My Wedding. But for those of you feeling a little out of your stylish depth, a little lost, a little, ‘not you‘ anymore, I’m here to say it’s ok. And boy have we got some stylish alternatives. I know that amongst our readers there are style savvy ladies looking for something different and if you always thought designer meant disaster where your wallet was concerned, then think again, as despite every one of these beauties coming from Net-a-Porter – the online designer shopping haven, the most expensive is less than the average Ian Stuart dress at £2300 and the cheapest – less than £500 smackers. Bring it on.
We were lucky enough to be invited to the Net a Porter Bridal launch at Claridges last February and if you’re not already familiar with our RMW videos – you have to go over and check this one out 
. I’m happy to say their stocked collection has gone from strength to strength and whilst I intended to write this about Matthew Williamson’s recent Bridal collection I just couldnt help including a few more fabulous finds. Maybe more than a few….
Matthew does Bridal
I’m loving both of these gowns, but perhaps the first a little more. With the metallic embellishment, it’s super chic for summer and I love the style. My friend has a different colourway of the waterfall gown and it is stunning on, with the sexy cutaway back and feminine drop waist keeping a fashion forward cut sexy.
Matthew Williamson Beaded Silk Chiffon Gown £2395
Matthew Williamson Waterfall Silk Chiffon Gown £1795
Temperley-tastic
It’s no secret that here at RMW we totally heart Temperley. Thought you might be able to wear Temperley for less than £500? No, me either, but this diffusion line dress echos the main collection in both style and detail, without the hefty price tag.
Alice by Temperley, Alma Silk-Georgette dress. £495
The Work of a Master
Alexander McQueen was a master of fashion, cutting edge and sadly missed, this dress is a fitting tribute. Feminine and floaty, it cuts a sensual dash and would look amazing teamed with a statement waist belt.
Alexander McQueen Crepe Bustier dress £1,895
English Heritage
Queen of Cool and a style icon the world over, Vivienne Westwood knows how to work those curves with her signature draping. This is the perfect Gown with a capital G, for working the room at a super chic city reception or winter affair.
Vivienne Westwood Gold Label Opuntia Corseted Gown £1,490
Best of the Rest…
Didn’t think you’d find a designer gown less than £1000? Well, We have! A Darn sight less actually, in a subtly beaded bustier, fifties referenced chiffon skirted dress by Rachel Gilbert. Always wanted a DVF? Why not rock this one on your wedding day – a chic shape with simple ruching. Last but not least, this corsican lace number by American wonder brand J.Crew is sweet and simple without sacrificing any style.
Rachel Gilbert Annaliese Beaded silk gown. £795
Diane Von Furstenburg Delphina Ruched Bridal Gown £2,055
J.Crew Corsican lace and silk gown £1,960
So if you’re a lover of fashion why not celebrate your love with a new love in your life, a tribute to your coming of age and starting in the way you mean to go on. It doesn’t have to be expensive, but it does have to be stylish. Be your best come Wedding Day and check out the style savvy offerings from Net-A-Porter by clicking the link.
Did you love rocking your ballgown dress or are you looking forward to wearing one soon? Or has this article reminded you to stay true to your own personal style? Do tell…
Yours Truly,
Rebecca
xoxo
PS, if you haven’t ever seen a RMW video and want to see more of Charlotte and I on very official fancy RMW business, make sure you check out the links above for the Net-a-Porter video and links to more after the video finishes. Enjoy!
Ok, I’m only a bloke so take this with a pinch of salt but if my Mrs turned up at the top of the aisle wearing one of those I’d be disappointed.
Surely the point of a wedding day is that it’s unique. There’s never another point where you can wear something that big, so why turn up looking like you’re going to a garden party?
As I say, I’m sure fashion and whatnot comes into it but I think most blokes quite like the idea of their Mrs turning up in something that it requires a team of women and 50 children to drag around.
Hmm interesting… My other half really loves the big and poofy and strapless dresses, but he admits it’s not at all “me” and says he’ll love whatever I wear.
I almost did end up getting one (a very stylish one to be fair) but am glad that I slept on it and have ended up with a gorgeous lace fishtail dress. It is so stunning on and so me – very, very happy with my choice. Just hope have to hope he is too!
Mr Staggered, I do get what you mean, but you have to remember that some women would feel absolutely ridiculous in a large loo-roll-cover number. Yes, the point of a wedding day is for it to be unique, but also to reflect you as a couple and if the Bride is not comfortable, she will be miserable. The bride could always stick a veil on, to up the bridal stakes if the above numbers are too fashion-led for her grooms fancy!
Actually drooling… Owning a Temperley number is on my ‘To Do Before I’m 30′ list- I may be closer than I thought!
I think these are all to die for, I hear what the Boys are saying, but I firmly believe that the ‘uniqueness’ comes from the bride herself. The accessories, the shoes, hair, make up etc etc… And that undeniably bridal air that all Brides exude whether in a princess frock or a slinky fishtail or a bit of boho vintage.
Still love you A LOT though Staggered boys…!
X
This is something I battled with – I wanted to stay true to myself but most of the dresses were meringues – so not me, I didn’t feel very good in them and was a bit freaked out I wouldn’t find anything!
Then I found Candy Anthony – a special dress, totally my style, it allowed me to dance my socks off (BIG priority!) and showed off my shoesies. I don’t regret it at all.
I love a big poofy skirt and can be found rocking many a rockabilly styled creation on nights out – and when I can get away with it for work too! So, for me big skirts win….BUT I wouldn’t want the “traditional” bridal full length strapless meringue, as lovely as all brides who wear them look and how beautiful many of the dresses are – to me they all start to all look the same.
I wanted to keep my style which includes poofy skirts and have opted for a champagne tea length lace number – can’t wait to wear it!
Thanks for a lovely and very well timed post; I’m just on the verge of putting down a deposit on a fairly sleek chiffon number at the moment. I always knew I’d look hideous in a massive dress, and my experiences dress shopping have certainly proved me right! It’s been a bit of a struggle getting away from the huge dresses though, I’d describe what I liked to the assistants and they’d come back with something puffy and a line. Have also pondered whether it’s special enough but I’m confident that H2B and probably half our guests would laugh at me if I turned up in something enormous and I’d probably feel silly all day. Have to say though Rebecca you looked amazing and super stylish in your dress, you definitely shouldn’t be having any doubts about that!
i have gone against all i keep reading, as i am 5ft a size 10 bust 8 waist and 12 hips and i do have a fairly large ian stuart “meringue” but i love it, it’s definately the one for me, and is so simple yet stunning at the same time. Even though everything you read says a petite bride should never wear a dress with a big skirt
I tried a few mermaid, column, grecian, a-line etc and all of them made my butt stick out like the viewing deck of the empire state building.
So i say “I LOVE MY MERINGUE!!” and i will rock it WITH my cathedral length veil even though everything i read also says that petite brides shouldnt have one of those either!
Have to agree with Anna K – plus, I do think that the groom is probably likely to be blown away by whatever the bride chooses, especially if she’s choosing something that she likes and feels amazing in. I wore a rather untraditional, slinky Jenny Packham dress and my husband thought it was the most amazing dress he’d ever seen. But then he knew better than to expect a big strapless number from me!
Rebecca – sorry to hear you’ve been having wobbles over the dress you wore. You did look amazing in your photos though, and definitely very stylish.
Staggered – I get your point but surely it is all about what actually suits the bride – not just her sense of style and temperament but also basic body shape?
Some women (myself included) just SHOULD NOT go near the meringue shape as it looks ridiculous! If my man were ‘disappointed’ I would tell him to bugger off!
Go with what makes you feel a million dollars – not what anyone else thinks you should have.
btw – that Vivenne Westwood is FABULOUS! and an amaxing price!
By the way, just been drooling over your dress again Rebecca, it *is* stunning x
Isabel, you crack me up!!!!
I think I would reply the same to my man, I have never asked him what dress to buy, I have a real sense of style and cannot allow anyone else to dictate what I wear. On my wedding day I feel the decision is even more important and should not be made to please others, only yourself, if you feel amazing, you will look amazing!
Personally I do not want to look like a princess on my wedding day, so will not be wearing a large dress and certainly no tiara (I have never understood them anyway).
Love all the dresses on Net a Porter and would gladly wear the mini Lanvin ruffly one (you haven’t featured it but it’s gorgeous).
Oh dear, I don’t know what to say. I want to disagree with the post but don’t know how to say it with out sounding like a nonse.
I had to have a big dress, it just felt special on and so tottally bridal.
I do understand what you are saying but Rebecca, I loved your dress. You looked fantastic and from what we see of you on the blog I think it suited you perfectly. You spoke so fondly of it in your report. Were you kidding your self then or just feeling more romantic towards it at the time?
It must be especially hard knowing so much about weddings and trends because you can’t help but compare your day to what you know now.
I think both the RMW ladies dresses suited them to a T, which I guess backs up your point. I can’t imagine any dress suiting Charlotte better than the AW fishtale she chose.
Anyway – Well done to Mr Staggered for putting him self out there, especially so high up on the comments!
ooh I say boys that’s an interesting comment! I could seriously write an essay here, I too was convinced my quite plain backless dress wasn’t “special” enough but always knew that James would love it – which he did.
As a couple one of the things we have in common are our fashion tastes so I know he would prefer a slinky fishtail number rather than a huge skirted princess number, as did I.
It’s all about what suits you though and what you like, Rachel here is a perfect example – who said you can’t wear a big dress because you are small? Of course you can, and you will look amazing!
Wear whatever you want lovelies, just make sure you really do love it and its not what someone else wants or the latest “trend” or what you think you “should” be wearing.
Charlotte xxx
I feel a little bit put out by this post to be honest, I don’t why a big swishy skirt is a departure from ‘your usual stylish self?’. It’s all about choice, what you feel comfortable in and you know you will rock it on the day, to me style is individual and all about what you choose to go onto your body, so if it’s slinky and straight or mahoosive and puffy then so what? I loved my dress and I knew I wanted a style like the one I had and don’t think it was princess like at all!
love staggered’s comments.
I have a HUGE dress and cant wait to totally rock it on the 12th September!!
xx
Jess C – yes you are exactly right Pet on the individual style comment.
Rebecca was saying it was a step away from her usual stylish self, not that a princess dress is necessarily a step away from anyone elses and that if you wanted to wear a big dress ( or a slinky dress….or a short dress….) then you should. This was more about her personal experience and a bit of advice on considering other options.
As it happens I think she looked amazing but we all have doubts – even after the big day. I see many a lacy number and think “eek I should have had lace!!” or a pure white and think ” I should have had that not ivory” …… it’s just normal I guess.
Charlotte xxx
Wow….so many comments have said it all already.
I have had major dress wobbles myself (to the point of actually getting a new one), and the reason was I just didn’t feel comfortable in my first dress. It was something that I would NEVER wear any other day, far too glamorous and shiny for me, and I am not a glamorous and shiny person.
My new dress will (hopefully) match me and my personality, and importantly the type of clothes I wear on a daily basis. Why would I wear something big and pouffy when my day to day style is simple with a hint of vintage? If I was going to a ball I would never wear a big dress, so why would I do it on the day everyone will be looking at me?
Fxx
I have to say I wouldn’t have minded if my wedding dress was a full skirt or a fishtail. I have chosen a Sarah Houston number which is the fishtail style and I love it.
My second choice was a plain full skirt dress with a gorgeous big bow tied around the waist.
Without sounding big headed both styles of dresses really suited me. In the end I chose the fishtail number because I was having a civil wedding but that’s all changed.
I am now having a church wedding and I really wish I had the full skirt dress now but I am glad I’m going to be wearing a chapel length veil.
My H2B also said exactly the same as I Am Staggered, he expects me to look bridal and would hate for me to be swayed by current fashion trends. He just wants me to look beautiful instead of fashionable.
My friends can never understand my point of view about wedding dresses. I really dont like big dresses, there is just nothing sexy or pretty about them…. (in my opinion) To be honest, im not that keen on wedding dresses in general!
I found my perfect match with a Jenny Packham creation, gorgeous slinky silk which is very “me” and very flattering.
I cant wait to wear it!
Staggered – I meant to say, you must attend some amazing garden parties!
argh I’ve got a fairly ‘pouffy’ dress, I wouldn’t call it a meringue, but definately not a slinky number, but I absolutely love it!!
the general consensus, that I also found while shopping for my dress, that slinky = sophisticated and tasteful and big dresses = boring and obvious is not always the case, I’ve seen big dresses on here that have been done in an unconventional way (like Innes and Jordan banks’ wedding for example). However, I do agree with the sentiment that you should not feel that you have to purchase a certain type of dress – wear what you love and you will look and feel great x
This post has made my head hurt!
A dress suit two things. Your body shape and your personality. If that’s a fishtail, a pouffe, a slinky smooth number, if it’s £5 or £5,000 – if it doesn’t do those two things then definitely agree don’t do it!
Style is something you can’t just put on with a dress though. It’s the entire package.
I’m in a ridiculous Ian Stuart that will probably horrify and amaze in equal measures. But it’s mine and I heart it more than anything else!
And anyway. It’s more important to have the right man. Better to think “Was that dress right for me?”, rather than “is he right man for me!”
xxx
oooh Lizzie what Ian Stuart do you have?
Have to say..I love RMW always have but I’m with Jess C.I too am a bit miffed by this post..I didn’t have a meringue, but that was my choice as is someones choice to have a merignue! I thought rebecca’s dress was fabulous as was charlotte’s..two very different dreses but both equally rocked!
I don’t think I am alone when I say, I love the range of weddings you show on here..from big romantic pouffy dresses to slinky quirky numbers,you can take what you wish from each one..didn’t like the dress but loved the centre pieces etc…one final thought: if it aint broke….!
xx
LizzieMc I just nearly fell off my chair in laughter! I am 100% sure your dress will not horrify anyone Pet!
And you are quite right, all the dresses and tiaras and pouff’s and slinky numbers and expensive shoes mean zero comapred to the man you are marrying.
Charlotte xxx
Rachel, it’s the Balanchine. Inside out, tatty, dishevelled – you know, just the usual and something I can wear again when I take a trip to the supermarket
Would’ve LOVED a fishtail *green at anyone who can pull it off* but I looked like a great big fakery faker in one. And the slinky one my sister laughed at me in… So there you go. Your right dress finds you, not the other way round I think! xxx
Well put Lizzie!! The man is certainly what it’s about, after all. But while we’re on the subject of dresses: I won’t repeat what’s been said so well already by so many, but how about big skirt – “skinny” top? I have a big-ish skirt (just made bigger by the purchase of an extra underskirt! yes!) with a small train, but coupled with a corset that is really sleek and, rather obviously for a corset, tight. It being in two pieces this was entirely possible and I don’t have any of the wraparound/folding/layering stuff that makes some dresses seem “big”. Though I love all that on some other brides… In fact, being a size 14 I didn’t think I’d suit a big skirt, but actually I did – coupled with something that reduces/shows off the waist it only enhances the shape, I think. I’d feel too naked in a thin-fabric sleek thing – I’d never choose to have a single layer dress, for instance, as I’d feel compelled to pull my stomach in the whole time for the sake of photos! Plus, corsets are great for those of us with a chest – not a lot of the skinny dresses would allow a good bra, me thinks! Now, the corset does all that for me
Let’s hope others agree about the shape suiting me and, if not, well… back to Lizzies point!
Okay well I think I get where Rebecca is coming from. I would love love love to own a designer dress, and for me there is a certain cache to say “the bride wore Matthew Williamson/Temperley /Vivienne Westwood etc. My friend actually rocked a Temperley for her gorgeous wedding in Australia and she looked fabulous! We were all super jealous!! It was actually a dress that Sarah Michelle Geller has worn on the red carpet and for her that totally added to the glamour factor….
But yep its all down to personal taste I say – if you feel you wouldn’t feel bridal without the big dress then totally rock the big dress…
Rachie xo
PS: That Matthew Williamson is a cream version of the dress that Blair Waldorf wears in gossip girl to sleep with/kiss Jack -isnt it?? Slightly off topic I know but I love that dress!!
When I started dress shopping, I had every intention of choosing a slinky/sexy/fishtail number/shunning a veil/wearing a flower in my hair. And then I tried on the lovely JP numbers I had so lusted over and the sight would have been enough to make her cry and never make another dress again. Then I tried on a ‘bigger’ dress, a veil was put on my head, and my heart went BOOM. I knew then that big was the way forward. So yes, I’ve got a fabulously corseted A-line dress that makes me look feminine, glamourous and a catherdral length veil that I know will make my husband-to-be’s heart boom right back at me. Yes, in day to day life I aspire to be fashion forward, stylish and on trend, but I dont think choosing a big dress means that I have let myself down in any way, or made me less ‘me’.
Its a tough one, but if you ‘heart’ it – then it will show xxx
I totally get what the post was saying, that you shouldn’t feel compelled to abandon your own style when choosing a wedding dress. But to me, it’s the one day to wear something amazing that you could never get away with in real life. I tried on a lovely Ritva Westenius dress that was absolutely plain crepe but for a satin trim, and it fitted me perfectly, but I really want to go for something lacy instead because it’s the one day in my life I can wear lace! I love all the beautiful fabrics n bridal gowns; I’ve got the rest of my life to wear impeccably tailored plain silk crepe, but let’s face it, after university there aren’t even balls to dress up for, so my wedding dress feels like my last opportunity to wear something amazing.
My mum also said something I think is important, which is perhaps sort of what Staggered meant; you don’t necessarily want to look all avant garde and at the cutting edge of fashion when you get married; you want to look pretty.
What a well timed post indeed! I visited a lovely vintage bridal shop in London and really liked a dress from the 1950′s….a short silk number.
This dress is much more my normal style but i have worried that i have not had ‘butterflies’ which apparently i should get….?
Is it true? Should i get that feeling? Or shall i go for a dress i like and feel comfortable in?
Advice please!!!
i originally bought a “big” dress for my wedding day, very traditional, huuuuuuge train, full skirt, embellished justin alexander number. It was a gorgeous dress but i started to get a bit wobbly about it a month after i bought it, i didnt tell anyone but was secretly trying to convince myself it’d be ok. As i was having the “wobble” i took my parents to the ceremony venue we had chosen to make sure they were happy with it too, the journey to my venue involves a boat ride on which my mum came back from the toilet exclaiming “you’ll never be able to use that loo in your wedding dress, it’s so small, you better not drink much after the ceremony!did you think about that?” mothers eh? anyway, to get to the point, that then made me think that the dress was a bit big to get aboard a smallish boat, and then i thought about having to take my mum/bridesmaid with me every time i went to pee, which kept me up at night! and really what i was thinking was, a big dress is just not me, i looked at the photos of me trying it on and i looked like a fraud, like the time(which i’m trying to erase from memory) that i tried skinny jeans, not me!
so, i lost the deposit but am now the owner of a much more “me” dress which is also much slimmer and fashion led, i dont care at all what guests will think of it, because i love love love it!
i totally get the post and would definately say that brides should look beyond bridal boutiques and into vintage shops, high street/net a porter if that is their style, but in the end to stick true to what you love, many a sales assistant gushed at me in a big meringue because they were beautiful dresses, but at the end of the day, they won’t be wearing it!
Hi
What’s wrong with a meringue? a wedding dress is what it is but these straight up and down plain dresses are just a bit well boring.
I have made little secret of the fact that I love love love big dresses and I don’t like how it has become a faux pas to have one.
I’m 5’2” with big boobs and little hips and these dresses just don’t look good on some people and something with a bit of structure and size to balance you out is needed.
I want people to be able to spot me as the bride on my wedding day and that is nothing to be ashamed about.
If you don’t like to be the centre of attention then go for a low key dress but don’t take the big dresses away from us drama queens.
I can be stylish everyday of my life but for one day I wanna princess.
If being rock is bucking the trend then that’s what I’m doing and I’m doing it in a big white dress.
I think i get what Rebecca is trying to say…but i don’t think i completely agree with it.
Yes i agree that a bride should wear what best suits her but surely that might be the big dress?!?! I think 100% that bridal shops should stock dresses of all different types (and that doesn’t always happen) and that you should feel happy and comfortable in what you wear everyday, especially on the big W.day!! But i found when trying on dresses that i got a feeling of ‘the one’ and surely most brides get it? So do you think that feeling you got wasn’t true to yourself Rebecca?
I love the post and that you are telling people to go with what suits them best but can’t help but feel that you are also swaying them towards the slinky, vintage, garden party number…that is all the hype in wedding world at the moment! As another bride above said…as a petite bride (which i am) you shouldn’t wear a big skirted dress and the post above would possibly sway me towards the slinky dress, but actually the Ian Stuart full skirted, plain number is exactly what i need and exactly what i have got.
)
To start with, Rebecca, I think you look absolutely gorgeous in your dress
I am having what might be classed as a ‘princess dress’ (a large tulle skirt, but very fitted, drop-waisted bodice by Sassi Holfold). I love it. And I feel it’s important to say that I don’t feel any less ‘stylish’ in it.
I get what you’re saying, Rebecca, about why go for something so radically different and potentially ‘not you’ on your wedding day when you wouldn’t wear something like that any other day in your life, but I do feel it’s important not to insinuate that all brides wearing a ‘princess’ style dress are women who fundamentally lack any sense of style. I’m sure you didn’t mean it in this way, but I must admit when I read the opening paragraph of your post I felt my heart sink. It just reads a bit like a condemnation of those of us who are going for something other than a slinky/fishtail gown.
I’m an avid reader of RMW and absolutely love the posts on here… so I’m not trying to be overly harsh or critical, but I was slightly put out by the opening paragraphs of your post, especially as I am both a lover of fashion and a wearer of a ‘princess dress’ on my wedding day! I don’t think the two things are mutually exclusive and I think it’s important not to alienate any of your readers by seemingly turning your nose up at a style that is very popular with a lot of your readers. I’m not saying don’t say your opinion… I think it was just the way it was said that surprised me.
As I’ve said, I love RMW and eagerly look forward to reading your posts every day so I’m not trying to be a moaning-minnie… just my tuppence worth!
I think we put so much pressure on ourselves to look ‘our best’ and have the ‘best dress’ that no-one has ever seen before on our wedding day (well I know I did!).
Every one tells you you’ll know when you fond the one but I didn’t!
I set out much the same as you Rebecca with a vision of myself in either a floaty JP number, very boho esq or a Pronovias lacy fishtail gown. I tried on over 70 dresses and none felt like the one. With only 5 months to go before the wedding I still couldn’t decide on a dress! There were to maybes JP Rosalind and Lusan Mondongus Lace fishtail dress. In the end with regret a walked away from both deciding that neither was the one for me. In the end (only two months ago) I rocked a ‘princessy‘, romantic, a-line tulle skirt, low back one shoulder number. None of my closest friends had seen the dress and on the day most commented that it was not what they expected me to wear and I kind of loved that fact!
Sorry I’m rambling now but I think the bottom line is – if you had have gone for a slinky number you would still feel the way you do now instead thinking you should have gone for the big gown on the only day of your life you can really get away with wearing one! x
I am mega excited to say I am lucky enough to have bought a Temperley dress for my wedding…
Having only been engaged a matter of weeks, I went to the National Wedding show and bought it. As soon as I saw it on the hanger it literally made me gasp. But I have had MAJOR doubts ever since. Every wedding dress I have seen since then has made me think “have I done the right thing? Should I have had a meringue? Should I have had a dress with some kind of massive, spectacular train?”
after torturing myself for several months, I went to try it on again and all my fears melted away in the sheer beauty of the dress that I have never seen anywhere else.
And above all, no other dress I have tried has made me feel so ME. Ladies, if it makes you feel amazing, you will look amazing.
Jen x
Oh, bloody, bloody hell! I have JUST come back from dress shopping only to have fallen head over heels with a very large, tulle-y Lusan Mandongus. I have Jenny’d, Maggie’d, Ritva’d, Enzoani’d, Pronoviazd (!?) in all shapes and sizes, but there was definitely a smile on my face with the big dress! Now I’m really worried that I’ll make a fashion mistake and I’ll be a laughing stock. WHY did you have to write this?! I think ‘to each their own’, there is no right or wrong answer, but I’m now struck with wobbles!
I love RMW, but this post does pile on the pressure and make me feel slightly inadequate… I’ve got a gorgeous A-line Essense dress and shall be rocking it come W day no matter what the latest trend/fashion/fad dictates I ‘should’ be wearing … As far as I’m concerned, the bigger I can make the skirt with a huge pouffy petticoat, the better!
Luci, oh dear. Please don’t be swayed.
I always knew I would need something corseted with a 32E chest, slim hips but nothing HUGE but nothing too loose. I didn’t want a huge fishtail because the shape will make my hips and boobs look too big.
To be sure I tried on some JP’s and some Temperley’s and even some Amanda Wakeleys. WHAT A MISTAKE.
Not only did they not suit me in terms of fit but they just looked WRONG.
I am a traditionally simple dresser. I wear jeans, plain tops and a blazer in my free time and a suit for work everyday. I don’t shop in Topshop (hate it, I wouldn’t wear ANY of it) and am much more Jigsaw or LK Bennett. I heart M & S Autograph range.
So as a staunchly traditional classic dresser why would I want to go all fashionable on my wedding day? I live in fear of looking back at my wedding pictures and feeling like a 1980′s fashion victim.
I think you should look pretty, classic, elegant and YOU on W-Day.
I’ve realised as I’ve tried on some large one’s that its about the fabric and the “finish” of the dress rather than the size of it. Yes some large dresses look like toilet roll holders but then again, some fitted one’s look like they came off a market stall.
Rebecca’s was a beautiful dress because it was simple, non embellished, made with beautiful fabric and classic. You won’t look back in five years and think “urgh, fashion victim”. Your daughter could wear your dress. Its a classic.
I attend functions for work often and have a couple of long white numbers. Hence on W-Day I want something special, something different and something CLASSIC.
Good post though, but I think its important to say that I think you have a lot of influence over women that read this site and its important that your opinions don’t sway them from being true to themselves or make them question their choices.
Good evening ladies,
I’ve been away from the blog today, and what a day to do it eh?!
I think perhaps there has been a slight mis-interpretation here of what my point was. This post is about giving brides who perhaps don’t want to wear something overly traditional (which always leads my thoughts to The Big Dress,) the confidence to say true to themselves and their style.
Interestingly, quite a few of you have mentioned the ‘pouffy’ 50′s style dresses which I absolutely LOVE and if I had my time again, would wholeheartedly consider as a best of two worlds approach – sassy and fun but easy.
Staggered boys – I actually don’t think a wedding has to be unique because of the day it is. One of the things I wish I had ditched was all the formality of a wedding day. Personally Pete or myself didn’t respond well to it and didn’t enjoy the day as much as I think I would have a backyard style BBQ. I also couldn’t get near Pete all day due to my skirt and he stood on it and held me back so many times which was infuriating! He actually would have backed you up ‘pre-wedding’ re what he expected, but now I know he’d prefer to see me in anything that let me enjoy the day and made me feel amazing.
I think perhaps my opening paragraph was in reference to my usual style of ‘occasion dressing’ – I tend to veer towards the contemporary and certainly unique, rather than for example my own strapless pouff, something I was determined I would not buy! That said, there were many reasons I did…. but now I also have the benefit of hindsight and no ‘rose-tinted’ glasses to look through, I look with practicality too.
When all’s said and done, not every article I write will resonate with every reader and that is to me a good thing, otherwise I’d be writing for an idetikit audience, the total antithesis of RMW to me.
I’ll draw your attention to my words above again, which I think have been overlooked…
It might be controversial (but we love a bit of that at RMW!), and there might be some of you desperate to reach your Wedding day and swish that big full skirt, and to those of you I say, you Rock it. If it’s for you then thats what you should have, we’re all about doing it your way, here at Rock My Wedding. But for those of you feeling a little out of your stylish depth, a little lost, a little, ‘not you‘ anymore, I’m here to say it’s ok. And boy have we got some stylish alternatives.
Luci – your dress sound A.mazing – you rock it!
Jen V, Linzi you are exactly the type of bride this article was aimed at.
Yours wear-whatever-you-love Truly,
Rebecca
xoxo
I too have a HUGE dress. It is by Dizzie Lizzie (like Rebecca) and I love it. I know these kind of dresses aren’t to everyone’s taste but it seems to come across recently that it is all about slinky/lacy/fishtail dresses and it is a big no no when it comes to large dresses.
Even the word meringue annoys me!! I will never have wobbles over what I have chosen but it does seem that to have a modern, classy wedding big dresses don’t feature.
As some of you have posted before………..
My feelings are that as long as you love your dress and hubby-to-be smiles/gasps with amazement/is bowled over etc etc when he first catches a glance at you then you have made the right choice.
xx
PS Lovvvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeee the VW number
Wowee, I have arrived at this party a bit late!
I’m with Sanna in what I am wearing: corset top with mahoosive skirt (well, it has lots of layers and looks big coz I’m a bit wee!).
I say a girl’s wedding dress should be everything that she wants it to encompass, be that big, small, short etc.
I personally dont suit the slinkier looking numbers due to my weight and biiiig hips, but my lovely best friend is getting married next year also and the longer, straighter dresses are what she’s after. Plus she will look fab as she is taller.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, wear whatever makes you happy and makes you feel oh-so-bridal. That’s the most important thing. xx
PS. I am also jumping on and saying I loved both Charlotte and Rebecca’s big day frocks.
Really interesting post and discussion about it all – probably the most honest discussion I’ve read about wedding dresses since getting engaged 14 months ago and one that really cuts through the hype over particular styles or designers. This is why I read this blog
I agree with many of the comments here, as well as the sentiment of rocking your dress your way. I tried on a heap of traditional gowns and some shorter numbers. As it is I will be wearing a short dress, but something that is very glam for me. My second dress was a floor length, v neck, body skimming Pronovious dress, which was stunning, but too formal for our wedding. However, I do admire all brides who wear bigger dresses – all you Ian Stewart brides will look amazing! At the end of the day its down to attitude and what type of style of wedding you want
Hear hear Caroline!
I would love to wear a fishtail (wedding or no wedding) but frankly erverything about me from the waist to knees is best hidden (and that was pre-baby!) so a full skirted dress was best for me and speaking as a gal who is bearly out of skirts I didn’t see it as a style departure and I never really gave anything else much consideration!
What irks me more than the ‘typical’ ‘meringue’ is the almost compulsory strapless style. I would have looked terrible in strapless. Luckilly for me the lady helping me look at dresses was a seamstress who pursuaded me she could add cap sleeves. Otherwise I would have had very little choice cause they’re all strapless.
It’s about time someone said that about 90% of brides don’t have the figure to pull off strapless – now that’s when the wrong dresses are being chosen!
Forgot to say, since I have started being contraversial that I don’t get why people grow their hair especially for their weddings or wear tones more make up than normal or do anything completely different to how they normally are.
Your husband fell in love with you the way that you look normally so why turn up disguised as someone else?!
I agree with encouraging brides to make their weddings more about them and less about tradition. But…
I have been very confused about the whole dress thing, i fell in love with a slinky JP, i fell in love with a lacy Lusan, I fell in love with a big ballgown Sassi which is eventually the one that i ordered. I am still confused if i have made the right choice but i know that whatever i end up wearing will look beautiful on the day, big or small. I was so encouraged by Rebecca’s big dress choice and thought she looked beautiful, so to know that she has regrets is making my wedding dress wobble worse!!
My everyday sense of style is very definite. I know what i like, what works for me. Which is why i think that i’ve found this whole wedding dress thing difficult, because until you actually get them on you don’t know what is going to work for you.
I work for Gucci which means I see the kinds of dresses on this post day in day out. Yes, they are pretty, but for me, they are nowhere near as special as a proper wedding dress. They would also fill me with worry that one of the guests may turn up in exactly the same dress in a different colour or worse still, a high street rip off similar.
My dress will be given a fashion twist and my bridesmaids will be rocking fashion forward dresses that could’ve fallen off a catwalk, dresses like the ones that i can wear any other day of the year. Hopefully i will only be the bride once and for that i will be a stylish princess…
Lizzie, thats a very well constructed comment.
No one should feel bad about their dress because I look back and think mine may not have been right for me. In fact. I think it was right for the me I was on that particular day, and for the particular wedding mine turned out to be.
I would never change my wedding ceremony as it was the most special part of the day, but I also wouldn’t have had a church wedding if it had been my choice, (this was Pete’s only stipulation.) and looking back, no other dress would have done for that church.
As much as we try to keep weddings simple by saying go with what you love, in reality they are complex and driven by many factors. 2 very different people who just happen to be in love and starting a life together, families, traditional values and modern ideas, plus every man and his dog’s two pence worth.
We’ve not had many brides post their own dress pictures to facebook yet… perhaps some of the ballgown/sleek dress wearers would like to post a picture of their dress to ally the fears of others…
xoxo
Well said RMW! Our sentiments exactly!
http://bespokendreams.blogspot.com/2010/08/bridal-trends-forecast.html
Sunday 1st August
I got married in August 2009 and wore a Pronovias ‘Rapsodia’ gown. It was elegant, stylish, romantic and fun – AND I still got to feel like a princess!
My dress was from the Liverpool Bridal Gallery, http://www.thebridalgallerygroup.com/liverpool.
I wanted an Elegant Romantic theme for the wedding and thought it epitomised it perfectly. It was a Spring 2009 ivory tulle dress with a v-neck, fitted dropped waist with an a-line silhouette embellished with ruffles. It had a real Spanish feel to it which I was probably subconsciously drawn to as my late Nana Emiline is of Spanish descent. Very girly and very me!
It is definitely time to STEP AWAY from the bog-standard (pardon the pun) toilet roll holder dress…..BUT remember to wear what suits your figure, makes you feel and look AMAZING and still retains a small element of classic tradition that it will have you admiring your album in years to come
xxx
xxx
I really enjoyed this post, mainly because I have bought an ‘alternative’ wedding dress a couple of days ago! I bought it on line on impulse and I love it now it has arrived! It is the one for me! We are spending ‘the average’ on our wedding but I personally wanted to be able to have fun in my dress, especially important as our wedding is a fete/garden do and therefore not to spend a fortune so I wasn’t worried about spoiling the dress. I can ‘rock it up’ with expensive hairpins etc that I can wear again.
The main thing that the ‘mr’ liked whilst playing ‘which dress do you prefer’ (in wedding mags!) is incorporated and I love that he will know this straight away. From then on all he will care about is that I enjoy our day and have a good old dance with him and our friends because that is important to us. Confidence and happiness are the best beauty products! I am not against larger dresses but I think the point is you shouldn’t be limited by other peoples expectations, you should really think about what you want, it’s your day and thats what RMW is about?? We read this because we want alternative ideas and this whole post by Rebecca is one!
My lord I haven’t read through all these comments yet but Rebecca your dress wasn’t princessy at all, it was chic and understated and you looked amazing in it! I get your point of being true to yourself, which is why I am on my third dress. Yes. THIRD. (hey, it’s my money I shall spend it like water if I choose to!)
I’m not a lover of the uniformly bridal look of a poofy dress and a tiara, but that’s just me. I’m not a princess. Although…. give me Carrie Bradshaw’s Vera Wang dress from the first Sex and the city film any day!
xx
I love this blog. I am now two months married and still read it every day however sometimes I think it pushes the need to be different and non traditional to rock your wedding. I have a big (but plain) Ian stuart premiere dress and probably what most would call a traditional English garden wedding but for me that was rocking it. I felt like audrey Hepburn, classic and elegant and wish I could wear a dress like that again!!! I did have little unique touches like table quizzes about me and mr smith with prizes and a boothnation photobooth for favours but in essence it was traditional. And this always puts me off submitting as I know it’s probably not different enough but if you love traditional then that is rocking your wedding.
I am away at a residential exam tonight but will try to upload a picture to fb of my dress tomorrow for those Ian Stuart lovers.
Ps Rebecca I loved your dress. You looked gorgeous
What a discussion!!! I totally get what Rebecca is trying to say and I agree with her. I always had this image of me in a big princess style dress walking down the aisle of a stunning church while a choir sang all you need is love. But the minute I got engaged I realised that it was just a dream, first im not religious so no church for me, second I do not suit big puffy dresses. When I went dress shopping I was always drawn to the slinky, lace, fishtail dresses however I felt that I should get a dress that was expected of me so I tried a few on. I looked like a wee girl playing dress up, not a good look for your wedding day. I finally started trying on the dresses I really liked and picked Charlotte Balbier Pixie. A perfect dress for me, everything about it just suits my personality.
Thats not to say that those out there that have big dresses are wrong or anything its just everyone is an individual and should wear what they want.
Loving this blog
xx
Darn it, I hate being late to a bit of controversy!
I do think the piece was written with good intentions but it does come across as though big dress= C-list but slinky dress= A-list.
For me, I loved the sleeky dresses I tried on and very nearly bought one but in the end, I felt like I looked lovely but that I was going to the Oscars not being a bride. I also tried on every lace dress I saw but ended up looking ten years older. In the end I went with sparkles and tulle and giddily swooshed around all day, not at all my usual style but a welcome change!
Also the point made about venues is a good one and should definately be a consideration, in my opinion most of the net-a-porter dresses you mentioned would look amazing at a destination wedding but might get a little lost amongst the guests at a big Chelsea Clinton style wedding.
Finally, I think your dress, big or small, silk or lace should be always be accompanied by your usual style. Just because you chose a classic big weddingy number doesnt mean you need to wear pearl drop earrings and a chignon. Why not wear your big dress but go just-got-out-of-bed with your hair with smokey eyes or loosely scrape back your hair and rock a statement chandelier earring?
And Rebecca, don’t be too hard on yourself. I remember reading your original report on yayw and it sounded then that you were in love with your dress and very much enjoyed your big day. I guess by surrounding yourself with weddings its easy to pick apart your own big day, I know I do. Remember that you can still have a back yard style event, maybe a christening or a big birthday and you can still get a stunning special occasion sleeky dress for a big event. Your weddings isnt the be all and end all of dresses, you’ll have plenty of occasions to rock a gorgeous frock in the future!
xx
ps- Chelsea Clintons Vera Wang number, big dress and looked fabulously stylish!
I think the most important thing is that your dress suits you (emotionally but most of all, physically). I love wispy Joanna Hehir dresses but as an hourglass with definite boobs, some of the ones I’ve admired would probably cause me to inadvertently flash the wedding party! I’d love to see a post on the right styles of dress for different body shapes – again, I love fishtails but I think they don’t suit everyone.
Lucy please post pics….THAT’S MY DRESS!! X
I agree with not going for what everyone else thinks you should wear, but what you feel comfortable in. I rocked my Temperley wedding dress last July and have never doubted my decision. So many people commented on it not being the dress they thought I would wear as they clearly had a picture of the dress that so many other people wear.
I love the fact that I’ve not seen any other wedding where the bride has worn my dress and love that I can say I wore Temperley and felt a million dollars in it. I feel a pang that I’ve not wore it since, but I’m holding out till the day when I wear it again.
So go with the dress that you feel amazing in and don’t worry whether it is the dress that others expect to see you in – surprise them!!
Oh blimey! This is really making me wondering about my dress. I’ve been having that niggling feeling about mine since I paid for it (all) a couple of months ago. It’s quite a large tulle creation, I had one of those ooo princess and sod it you’re only going to do it once moments, which isn’t really like me as I’m a little tomboyish (but with pink wellies type). To be honest I’m hankering after a gorgeous slim-fitted lace dress, but couldn’t afford it. What the hell should I do? Bugger! Does anyone want to see it? eek.
Crikey, some interesting thoughts and opinions here and it always amazes me about women and their wedding dresses, you lot are INSANE. In a good way, obviously.
Anyway, I didn’t mean to be proscriptive in any direction. I’m fully behind the mantra of individual choice and picking a dress that you love and that works for you. My point was that I think blokes have more of an old-fashioned view of dresses because we’re not up with all these slinky things. Needless to say though that you could turn up in your pyjamas and he’d still be amazed, because he loves you.
This post is me hands down! I get married in 13 months and I’m BATTLING. Really strugging to find something that’s ‘me’ and that suits my absurd figure! I suit 50s style dresses and I can’t wear strapless but I feel like a strapped, 50s style isn’t ‘me’ and I want something more dramatic! I bought (and swiftly returned) the Vivienne Westwood Optunia because (as it turns out) Viv’s corsets are for ladies with no boobs (with the intention of giving them boobs) consequently I ended up looking like Katie Price, horrendous. I am definitely a non-traditional girl but I still want my dress to have impact. It’s impossible. Sigh…
Lou, I have no idea if you will see this or not, but have you looked at Stephanie James Couture dresses…..THE most amazing 50′s inspired creations with lots of variety on the bodice so if strapless isn’t working for you she will have options! I am having a slightly altered Josephine inspired dress….they are all so beautiful though! The other option is Vlasta Collu….also amazing and does a very reasonable made to measure service….
Good luck with your search! x
Thanks Laura G! Always on the look out for insiration. Am currently in love with the hammered silk Alberta Feretti number on N-A-P but the waist is in the wrong place… THE SEARCH CONTINUES! xx
And by insiration I mean inspiration!
Lou – just a look at the Alberta Feretti number – gorgeous!!! x