Sometimes Charlotte and I get so caught up in the details of wedding fabulousness that we forget what it was like to go back to the beginning. Those just engaged weeks of dreaming up a big day you had been hoping for for years (me!) or those flat panicked days where you think ‘Where the hell do I start!?’ (Charlotte!).

A couple of my friends have recently got engaged and I was really surprised to find that both of them came to me asking for advice on where to start….

So here you have it. The RMW Genius Guide to Wedding Planning…

And if you happen to be of a mind to just get on and get married, then included at the end of each section are ‘Tight on Time tips’ to consider if you want to get married within the next six months.

Who makes the cut?

Decide how many people you will be inviting and also if you are having extras in the evening or not.

Think about who you want to be there as you say those all important words to each other. On this basis both Charlotte and I went for a no frills guest list of our nearest, dearest and closest friends and family. Neither of us had evening guests as to me, the most important part of the day was the ‘I do’ and if they weren’t there for that then I didn’t see the point in inviting them later.

*Image courtesy of Laura Stevens. See the whole autumnal wedding here and here.

However if your venue has capacity limits or if you have a huge extended family and loads of friends, it might be a savvy way of including and celebrating with everyone whilst cutting meal costs and avoiding confrontation.

Tight on Time tip No.1: Make a short list of all the people that absolutely HAVE to be there and check in with them first to ascertain holiday dates etc. That way you can pick a time frame they are likely to be able to attend and still trip down the aisle in no time.

Fairytale Castle or Fun on the Farm…

Next up, choosing a venue.

Finding a place to start your married life can be a daunting task but here are some top tips form a couple of pro venue hunters, (that would be us then…)

Firstly, unless you have a burning desire to be married in your own back garden or in the church your parents were married in, throw the net wide. You have a much better chance of finding the perfect place if you aren’t geographically limited. This might sound a bit odd when tradition dictates that the wedding takes place in the Brides home town, but consider the perks…

Stray a little further from the obvious and get all the fun of a destination wedding without the hassle of getting all your guests to go abroad. Hire a place for the weekend and get the exclusivity you need plus the freedom to create a 3 day wedding weekend with a welcome or rehearsal BBQ first and farewell brunch the next day.

*Image courtesy of Shoot Photography. (See the whole fabulous wedding here and here.)

Start the search according to the style of wedding you want and also the size. Some big places have minimum numbers for day or evening. Consider a Sunday or Friday wedding will give you extra scope.

*Image courtesy of A J Williams. (See the whole glam affair here and here.)

This is also a good time to think about setting a date and deciding on the type of ceremony you want as this can play havoc with your choice of venue… do they offer a ceremony on site? Is it near to the Church you want to be married in? Set your heart on getting married outside? All things to consider when beginning the venue hunt.

Tight on Time tip No.2: Consider a Friday or Sunday (or even midweek) wedding to free up available dates that you hadn’t considered and allow you to book the venue you have set your heart on.

Get Snap Happy

Photographers are THE first thing to book after the venue.

Lucky for you you’re already in a fabulous place to start looking for the best UK photographers – right here on Rock My Wedding. Spend a minute clicking through our advertisers on the right hand side, and trawl back through all the Real Weddings we have featured on the blog in the past looking for images that really speak to you. Try and look past the bride and groom and style of wedding, and consider the photographic style.

*Image courtesy of Brett Harkness. See more of the cool couple here and here.

If the photography is really important to you try making a scrap book of images you see in magazines that you would love to be in your wedding album. See if there’s a theme developing, and then when you start to look at photographers portfolios, really consider if their style suits the type of images you want. If you want lots of grainy black and white shots for example, look for that classic vintage vibe instead of a more fashion orientated fun take on the shots. There’s no point booking a photographer and asking them to change their unique style.

Once you have a shortlist of photographers whose style you love start thinking about the aspects of the package that are a must for you.

- Getting ready shots of the bride, or groom, or both ( – needs 2 photographers)
- What sort of photographs do you wnat? – ie Traditional or Reportage – which is like a documentary of the day. Both Charlotte and I opted for this with the minimum of formal shots – and you can have a nose here.
- What sort of album? – traditional or magazine style? (Most photographers are flexible.)
- Do you want the rights to all of the images? This means that you get a DVD of all the images taken on the day, in addition to or instead of the album. We did this as we wanted them all and ended up with about 750! Not all photographers do this, or for some it increases the package price which may help you eliminate some off your list.

*Image Courtesy of Christian Ward Photography. (See the whole vintage inspired day here and here.)

Tight on Time tip No.3: Firstly, book a photographer as soon as you have a date, and if in fact you find a photographer first, consider being flexible around the date to ensure you can have the photographer you want.

Tight on Time tip No.4: Again, you will have more luck securing the photographer you want if you look at getting married on Fridays or Sundays, or how about the Bank Holiday Mondays throughout Summer?

Find a Frock!

In my opinion the biggest mistake that Brides to be make is going out dress shopping too soon. And I’m happy to share the fact that it’s a mistake that I made myself, and fortunately only lost me £100 but I’ve heard of many a bride losing a much larger dress deposit or in fact having to stump up for a whole new dress and figure out how to get rid of a hastily chosen earlier purchase.

*Image courtesy of Rebecca Honeywell Photography. (See this beautiful wedding here and here.)

I could write a whole other post on dress shopping, and probably will in the future, but for now, start by trawling the magazines and our Style Savvy section. Look for dresses that consistently make you smile, or say ‘Wow’ and you should find that there’s a running theme in terms of style, and hopefully even a few designers that stand out as favourites. Try and identify these designers and then look for a few local shops that stock the designers you like. This is a much more focussed approach to finding ‘The One’ that will save you the confusion of finding different dresses of different styles in different shops and lead you to make a purchase you regret later.

And there’s no rush! Take your time!

Tight on Time tip No.5: Although purchasing a dress may seem to be a relatively simple thing to do, in fact the manufacturers put long lead times on wedding dresses and in the majority of cases you cant just pick one up off the rack. If you want to order a dress in the usual way from a Bridal store make sure you look to order at least 6 months in advance of the wedding, leaving a couple of weeks for alterations. Ordering closer to the date than that is perfectly possible but often incurs an express service fee of hundreds of pounds.

Tight on Time tip No.6: If you’re really pushed for time consider either purchasing a stock or sale dress from a sample sale, or even bargaining for the dress you try on. That way you can take it away that day or get started on alterations. Other alternatives include High Street wedding dresses like Monsoon, or getting a dress maker to run something up for you.

Other Genius tips for getting started…

One last word on planning. The Bible.

The Wedding Planning Bible, available from Amazon, is money well spent! The book tells you everything you need to know in terms of what you need to organise and the binder helps you organise the paperwork and includes loads of checklists to keep you on track. Written by one of the UK’s top wedding planners, Sarah Haywood, this is a comprehensive experts guide.

I also bought a black art book from Paperchase and put all my magazine cuttings in it which helps to focus what you want. Cutting out loads of pictures can really help you see your own style emerge if you’re not sure of the theme or style of wedding you want. Loads of bunting and tea party scenes? You know you’re not looking for a castle!

So get going, have fun, and remember who you are. Stamp your personality all over your day with the help of Rock My Wedding and create the day YOU want.

Are you having any getting started dilemmas? Send us your questions to rebecca@rockmywedding and Charlotte and I will answer them with some advice and make a post of the answers!

Yours Truly,

Rebecca
xoxo

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