Ask Jenny – Shoe Issues.

Hi Jenny

I’m having a big dilemma about wedding heels! I’ve got a lovely pair of ivory peep toes that I wanted to wear for the church, but they’re not comfortable, so I bought a pair of flats to wear in the evening. Only then I realised that if I put flats on, my dress will then be far too long! Does this matter? Should I not wear my first pair of heels, and find a more comfortable mid-height heel/wedge instead? Or should I stick to flats and be super comfy all day?! I’m getting married in Ibiza, so flats would be perfectly in keeping with my beach wedding (church ceremony, then reception at beachside restaurant) but a few people have told me I wear heels for the church and for photos/first dance etc, for posture.

I have no idea what to do, and time is running out. First dress fitting fast approaching!

Thanks
Jenny


Dear Jenny,

Ok I’ve a few suggestions for you my dear, how in love are you with your painful ivory peep toes…? I would perhaps consider keeping them for your photographs, and buying another pair of heels that aren’t going to cripple your tootsies, no one needs to see a bride walking like John Wayne by the end of the ceremony, and you will have better things to worry about than where your next plaster is coming from.

It’s important your dress hangs right, you don’t want to be picking up the bottom so you don’t trip over it when you walk, so maybe you could wear some gorgeous beachy boho flats, and have your dress taken up to accommodate them? I’m not sure what your dress is like, but with my own, I only needed the front altering to allow for my kitten heels – it was a fiddly job but worth it. I didn’t even get a single blister the whole day, something I am so grateful for because sore feet can really taint my mood! Take your heels and flats along to your dress fitting, and see what works with your dress, and find out if altering the length is possible. Then the decision is yours!

I saw these when perusing ASOS this week, and thought they would suit a destination boho bride. A bit fancier than your average sandal!

I honestly think (and perhaps I am showing my age now) comfort over style on a day in which you spend most of your time on your feet. A perfect example of this is a good friend of mine bought a pair of BEAUTIFUL Christian Laboutin heels for her wedding, she had them dyed a blush pink to match her flowers (a decision she didn’t take lightly by the way) and enjoyed doing the hoovering in them at home to break them in a bit. When I asked to see the beauties at her reception, she hoisted her dress up and showed me two gorgeous little size 4 feet, all red, swollen, and covered in plasters… the poor girl was in agony! This isn’t to say that Christian Laboutin shoes kill your feet, just on this occasion she wished she had gone down the comfort over style option and changed into something comfy the moment she felt her feet throbbing.

As for posture, you move differently in heels I agree with that, I personally feel sexier in heels too, so I think you need to find your happy medium. Have you seen any other shoes that might be a great alternative? If you have a long dress no one will see what you have on your feet anyway, unless you make a point of showing people!

Good luck with your fitting, please try not to panic or worry, shoes are a relatively easy problem to solve – us brides we always find something to obsess about. Have a wonderful wedding day too, it sounds absolutely gorgeous.

Jenny x

Author: Jenny

25 thoughts on “Ask Jenny – Shoe Issues.

  1. Hi,
    Just been throw the same dilema – I bought a pair of Kurt Geirger Carvela shoes, which were, are and always will be *awesome*…. but I couldn’t walk in them – which was a very hard thing for me to admit, as I swore blind for almost 6 months that I could! What helped my admission of truth was a shopping trip in Next – they have a new range of what I call bridal shoes, that are incredibly comfortable and really pretty. I bought a pair of lacy peep toes and am having my dress designer jazz them up, so they too will be awesome =)
    Problem solved … and my Carvelas have been returned and helped pay for a make-up artist on the day (win/win!!)

  2. I’m also going through shoe issues – but already I’m thinking like Jenny – I’m nearly 44 – that comfort wins over looks! However, I’m not a granny just yet! So I’m thinking about the two pair scenario. I’m looking for green wedding shoes and was going to get a sensible pair that I could dye green – but have just discovered the ‘Irregular Shoes’ website and have seen a gorj pair that are ivory that I am prepared to change my mind on my ‘green wedding shoes or nothing’ stance on! They’re not too high either – but I don’t know how comfortable Irregular Shoes shoes are….anyone with any experience? It’s got to be about the comfort – and I’ll be supplying free pairs of flip flops to any ladies that need them once the dancing kicks in!

  3. I CAN NOT walk in heels! However I got myself a small heeled pair for the ceremony and ballet pumps for the evening. My dress had so many layers that the length seemed to work for both pairs!
    However the heels were actually really comfy and it was only a blister on the side that made me take them off at the reception. Then I thought as I was hot and the floor was a lovely cold stone floor I would go bare front. I stayed like that all evening and even back to the hotel!

    At the end of the day comfort is SOOO important a blister or sore feet is the last thing you want on your wedding day!!!

  4. I live in flats, I always feel high heels make me look like someone who is trying to “dress up” however, for the wedding I am also torn between something comfy (and that I am used to) or something more bridal. I think I may try a kitten heel for the photos as Jenny suggested and change into my Ballerina flats later on!

  5. I am having the exact same issue, I have beautiful sling back nude shoes from next but I dont think I will be able to wear them all day and night! My dress is perfect length with the shoes on but wayy to long with flats. Cant decide what to do?!? God who knew how many teeny details get you stressed for a wedding lol
    xx

  6. I too have been having a similar dilema! I never wear heels really but have bought a pair of relatively high peep toes with a cute bow from Rainbow Club… I’ve been wearing them around my flat doing house work and the like and they feel OK, but I’m still a bit worried about being in them for a whole day!

    Problem is, mid heel shoes I just don’t like the look of so really it’s either flat or high! Eep!

  7. Oh yes, I have shoe issues too!

    I am somewhat stumpy so need a bit of a heel to correct my proportions at least a little. But I also have hypermobile ankles so fall off heels that are too high (not a good look when doing the aisle walk). Added to which, I never wear heels so am not used to them.

    So I want a heel of c2.5″ – certainly not above 3″. And I can’t wear slingbacks because I basically have triangular feet and they fall off the back. And I want a deep velvety red.

    Anyone who has any ideas of anything that meets these criteria please let me know!

    In the meantime, I’m going to practice walking in heels….

  8. I never wear heels as I am taller than my fiance in them and feel slightly drag-queen-esque, so it’s a beautiful little pair of Indian slippers for me on 11th August! They cost a whopping £10 on eBay and I’m terribly pleased with them :o)

  9. I’m totally hooked on this girl and determined to find someone in the UK – https://www.figgieshoes.com/ – who is just like her!

    Then, my plan is to buy super comfy M&S / Clarks numbers and get some glorious artist to pretty them up!

    I’d never be without my heels though, just couldnt do it. The posture thing is so right when it comes to me, i walk like a pregnant lady in flats! xxx

  10. I’ve just had to admit to myself (5 weeks pre wedding!) that the beautiful skyscrapers I’ve bought are NOT going to cut the mustard. I’ll be the same height as my dad and h2b in church and will start to sink into the ground as soon as we get to the reception. So… I’m getting some smaller heels for the church and photos, will switch to wedges for the reception, and may put the heels back on (briefly) for first dance. I anticipate ending up barefoot by mid-evening anyway; the beach bum in me will be bursting to get out! I saw these which are lovely but couldn’t find them in my size – they might be an option for another RMW reader in a dilemma though? https://www.louboutinshoesfor.com/christian-louboutin-ron-ron-zeppa-85mm-patent-leather-wedges-nude-red-sole-shoes-p-11081.html If they’re the same ones as the pair that I saw on ebay, they’ve got a really cute seam up the back. x

  11. @Karen – I know someone who designs pretty shoes, she works at the Prince Charles shoemakers, but designs bespoke shoes on a freelance basis – her website is in production but you can find her on Twitter under @MissLaneyJane :o)

  12. I had 2 pairs of shoes for w day! Although, one pair 5inches and the other 5.5!! I decided this was the perfect oportunity for gorgeous shoes! Beautiful delicate lace and sparkle detailed ones for the day and an awesome chunky pair of hot pink Carvella’s for the evening!

    I think everyone should wear what they will feel comfortable in, but also you need to feelspecial! Heels are a nightmare if you can’t walk in them, but as Emma said why not go for wedges? They come in all heights and can be as delicate or as funky as you like. I often rock the skinny wedge as its delicate yet comfortable – even at 6 inches! 😀

    I love shoes so much. *sigh* x

  13. I had the same problem. I ended up with some glam skyscrapers for the getting ready shots in the bedroom and a nice ‘garter on show’ shot which I then abandoned for a plain ivory kitten heel. The kitten heels were the ones that made my dress fall correctly and I used these for the photos. I then changed for the evening reception into a little pair of flats. It seemed to work well as I got the glam shoes in without suffering any pain and I got to spend the rest of my day in comfort. I was also very naughty and returned the glam shoes to the shop the next week as I had only ‘tried them on’ 😉

  14. @Maddy – ooh i’ll go find her!

    @Sarri – I am so tempted to join you there!

    @Kitty – good luck for later tater and thanks for the vote! 🙂 fingers crossed were both RBs by this time tomorrow!! xx

  15. Ahhh the shoe problem….I am a definite flats girls. I do love buying heels but they tend to only come out for special occasions or nights out. My problem with wedding day shoes is that i am only 5’2” and my fella is 6’5”. I originally wanted huge heels to try and minimise the height difference and make us look less ridiculous in photos, but instead I have optend for some mid heels with a concealed platform from Dune in the hope that i will be able to last as long as possible in them (comfort has ruled). These are the ones that i have gone for: https://www.dune.co.uk/d-valarie-concealed-platform-peep-toe-proddvalarie94champagne/
    I also spotted these which are the same height nd quite pretty: https://www.dune.co.uk/canada-d-laser-cut-peep-toe-court-shoe-prodcanadad94champagne/.

  16. @Audrey Irregular Choice are SUPER comfy, the seem to be the perfect shape of the sole of your foot. I would definitely recommend them!
    @Lydia I am totally with you!

    I am teeny tiny so am wearing 6 1/2 inch blue suede shoes from ASOS that are, surprisingly, REALLY comfortable. I do not expect to last in them through to the wee hours so have bought some flip flops too. I have decided not to care about the length of my dress once the flops go on as I would only end up barefoot anyway!

    xXx

  17. @Debi Thanks for the re-assurance on Irregular Choice – I’ve gone ahead and bought them!! Maybe I’ll get some flip flops….

  18. Ooh loving the Clarks suggestions, who’dda thought it?!

    I have these irregular choice shoes

    https://www.schuh.co.uk/irregular-choice/womens-blue-irregular-choice-antique-rose-court/1106175050/ and I think the height of the heel made my balls sting a bit (however I did walk the entire Vegas strip in them!) but they were comfy second time wearing them so I think they just needed breaking in.

    And for those trying to find the perfect shoe have you thought of having them made? I wanted purple peep toes with a small peep area, and a kitten heel. Could I find them anywhere?? Err no. So I went here:

    https://www.bespokebigday.co.uk/

    And had the exact pair of my dreams made.

    Loving the comments ladies, you are all so helpful! Xx

  19. Agree with Jenny above, SO HELPFUL! I’m loving all the shopping you’re encouraging me to do ha ha. And I must say, RMW readers have great taste.

    Wedges, it seems, would be the perfect solution, but I can’t find any bridal enough without being *too* bridal. And I love a wedge! I’ve decided I’m going to wear my ivory heels, breaking them in in my flat at weekends! And hopefully I’ll last the day in them. If not, I’ve got a trusty pair of wedges that I’ll put on (they’re more chunky than pretty and I’ve worn them loads, but comfort wins!) or my pretty flats. Maybe by the time it comes to actually change my shoes (if my feet hurt) then I won’t care that the dress is a little bit long.

    Thank you SO much for your help and advice. Much ‘preciated! xx

  20. This post couldn’t come at a more apt time! Currently on my 5th pair of shoes, and keep changing my mind! Been so particular with what I wanted – a pair of wedges that are either wooden/cork/wicker etc, with an ankle strap with support, nothing ‘bridal’ looking as I have a long aisle to work and we are having a woodlandy reception etc. Plus I didn’t want a pair too high as although there is quite a diff in height between the boy and I (i’m 5’3″ boy is 6)’, I want to feel petite next to him and my dad is quite short, I don’t want to be the giant bride walking down the aisle with him. Is this complete stupid to worry about??! but all wedges I like are very high! so currently on this pair, which are so so comfy and would recommend to anyone that isn’t after anything too bridal and after a bit of height https://www.oasis-stores.com/Wicker-Wedge-Sandals/High-Heels/oasis/fcp-product/6700006306 I just can’t decide whether I am happy to be taller than I want! But they are so pretty and perfect otherwise!!

  21. I’m having problems finding my perfect shoes. All the shoes I drool over have massive heels that I haven’t got a hope in hell of being able to walk in. Add to that I’m over 6ft tall and already a fraction of an inch taller than my fella, I really don’t want to be towering over him in the photos. It’s difficult to find closed toe flats (he has a weird dislike for toes!!) that are as pretty and special as the high heels I keep looking at.

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