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Danielle & Scott: The Pre-Wedding Freak Out

Friends, the pre-wedding freak out has happened! I have been calmly gliding through this whole wedding journey so far exclaiming “I’m such a relaxed bride, will I ever feel the stress?” and truly believing that I never would due to my insanely organised approach to planning but I’ve now found out that even the most organised of people will experience “the fear” towards their impending nuptials. I’m not talking about marrying Scott…I’d do that tomorrow just the two of us if I could, I’m talking about HOW MUCH THERE IS STILL TO DO!

So much of wedding planning can’t be done until the final stages, so whilst you can sort our your venues and big suppliers way back when you first get engaged, it’s the details that cause the chaos. Now that our wedding is on the double digit countdown, I’ve realised just how infrequent our spare moments are and I did have a bit of a meltdown a few weeks ago about it all. Thankfully I sent out an SOS call to my wonderful bridesmaids who managed to soothe my soul and kindly offered to take on bits of the planning so that we don’t feel quite so overwhelmed by it all. I’ve taken to keeping my weekend activities in a spreadsheet which whilst terrifying (where is my life going?!) is really helping to keep me on task and laying out a great visual of what I need to do and by when…

The biggest saving grace I have found is taking time out (whether I still think this is smart two weeks out, only time will tell!) Just the other week I went on a trip to Barcelona with friends and one of them is a local. We had the BEST TIME EVER, and it was so great to be reminded about the important things in life. Friends, culture, beautiful places, cava, meeting new people, experiencing new things and taking the time to just stop and appreciate how amazing it truly is to be alive and adventuring. It also reminded me so much of why I am marrying Scott. He is my partner in adventure and I can’t wait to share all these moments with him for the rest of my life.

I truly have underestimated the impact that wedding planning has had…I never wanted to be “that bride” that lets it take over my life and every social conversation with it but…it does sweep you away and at times, I truly have felt overwhelmed by it. Don’t get me wrong, many parts of it I have enjoyed so much & I am sure I will be sad when it is all over, but there are times when I have felt completely worn down, frustrated and just completely, absolutely 100% over it. At some points if I could have magicked up the funds to come and have someone do it all for me, I would have in a heartbeat. Holding down a demanding full time job, a busy social life, an exercise regime as well as wedding planning is tough, no doubt about it.

My top tips for when it all gets a bit too much:

– Set it aside. Take a break from wedding planning – you don’t have to do it RIGHT NOW.

– Go on a break with your husband-to-be, friends, family…whoever, just do it.

– Ask for help…seriously just ask for it – I felt enormous guilt about giving my loved ones things to do as I didn’t want them to feel inconvenienced by our day, but it turns out that people really truly do love to help.

– Exercise…it’s not for everyone but there’s nothing a good sweat fest can’t sort.

– Make time (as much as you can) for non-wedding related down time. Massages, facials, the cinema, long dog walks, seeing old friends…whatever it is you’re doing, just try to take a break from thinking or talking about the wedding, it will do you wonders.

– Calming cups of tea and something that makes you happy: a book that you can’t put down, a brownie, a long hot bath, a glass of wine, buying yourself flowers…

– Make a budget, stick to it, and make sure to add a 10% contingency from the very start (a life safer, honestly)

Talking about budgets, I gave myself a goal at the beginning of the year which was a 100 day spending ban on clothes and make-up. I felt that this was a realistic time scale for quite a tough goal (dresses are my kryptonite) as when you say it out loud, 100 days doesn’t seem that long…of course it is, but that’s beside the point. It has made me so mindful of my spending habits and also allowed me to make those last minute purchases that I’ve learnt crop up before the wedding day that you haven’t truly factored in. The non-essentials, but highly desired finishing touches. In fact, I’m enjoying the fruits of this ban so much that I’m continuing it past day 100 indefinitely to see what else I can treat myself to before the year is through…

And as a wedding update…lately we have been (thinking about) DIY’ing our place names, sorting out confetti bags, stationery planning with our wonderpal Ellie and swooning over our custom made wedding day temporary tattoos (we absolutely cannot wait to see our friends & family using these on the day!) the tatts were designed by a lovely designer in Paris called MisterM studios and printed by the wonderful Tattyou they seem ever so appropriate and very “us” given our loves for body art (I have several tattoos, mostly hidden, whilst Scott has a colourful sleeve)

So, that’s it for this month…as I write this, the weekend ahead is my hen do!!!!!!!!!!!! OH.MY.GOODNESS.

See you on the other side,

Danielle xxx

Author: Fern Godfrey
Fern spends most of her time dreaming about weddings and trying to convince her long-suffering boyfriend to propose. Lucky enough to live in sunny Cornwall, if you need her – you’ll find her at beach.

15 thoughts on “Danielle & Scott: The Pre-Wedding Freak Out

  1. just vommed in my mouth a bit as mine is a week and a half before yours and my mum keeps asking about favours, table plans, guest book, flowers…. problem is I keep procrastinating looking at holiday clothes, so excited though!!!!

    1. haha Emma…procrastination is definitely my game at the moment – somehow I’ve decided the best way to do this is to go on lots of adventures – certainly doesn’t help the wedding budget stress!!! Now that my hen weekend is over (wah, I want to cry it was so amazing!) I’m talking myself into getting fully back on the wedding planning wagon!

      1. I saw someone else say something about hiding things from her wedding budget, I am soooooo guilty of that!!! literally all my little extras pre wedding pampering, Jo Malone wedding day perfume, gifts for ma ladies etc I have excluded from the budget. my hen isn’t till the week before the wedding so I have a few months till mine yet :-O

        1. haha I have spent so much of my own money on things for me for the wedding…it’s ridiculous. can’t wait for after august for money to be channeled to things which are less glittery!

  2. I’m so similar, Danielle – I got all the big things organised and felt extremely smug and on top of everything…but, like you say, a lot can’t really be done until closer to the Big Day. I’ve now got 79 days to go and had a massive freak-out a few days ago at my poor, long-suffering fiance. He managed to calm me down but srsly wedding planning requires epic project management skillz and a zen-like calmness that Buddha would envy. Why did no one tell me this before?!
    Here’s to our double digit countdown xx

    1. I know!!!! People seriously keep the utter stress SO quiet! I’m definitely putting event and project management on my CV after this!! ahhhhh double digits – despite the stress, I’m so excited it’s unreal! xx

  3. I feel you! Arghhhhh!

    Advice to the newly engaged – elope!! (or get someone else to do it)
    My 9 – 5 job is planning other people’s beautiful weddings (itching to plug, but will resist) but planning your own is soooo much harder. Wedding planners don’t deal with politics and over spending. But when it’s your own, it’s easy to hide a few things here and there from your budget.
    I love the ‘take time out’ tip, thanks Danielle. I so doing this, this weekend!

    1. Haha Anne, I’m so with you on the eloping…WHYYYYYYYYYY DID I NOT?!?!?!? You’re a wedding planner?! How amazing! I bet it’s a whole different ball game when it’s your own though. Good luck with it all!! x

  4. OK so I have been planning for a year, with a year to go. My mum is stressing SO MUCH because I live in Australia. I am starting to get stressed that I am not stressed enough – am I crazy!? I am not a very creative person, and I just think that whatever we do, the venue will look beautiful and we will be married at the end of it, and the band will know what they are doing and there will be plenty of wine, so what can possibly go wrong? I have been like this through the whole process so far – my dress, the band, the cake, the photographer…there has been a simple solution for everything and I just haven’t been that precious about anything. But at the same time, I am worried that maybe I am just not caring enough about the fine details of the day!! Where is the line between laidback bride and too-laid-back bride?

    Honestly, I just want to get married and have a big party!!

    1. I have been like this the whole time pretty much, booked everything really early on, its not until people start asking questions about small things closer to the time like someone asked me if my flower girl is going down the aisle first and what is she holding? then certain things about timings throughout the day. To be honest it really is only as stressful as you make it. It might be possible to confuse stress with anticipation which I might have, but as long as you have suppliers that you trust (I got all mine through here and by recommendation, I found wedding fayres fairly useless) you should be alright on the night lol. I sort of outsourced all of my creative stuff, like illustrations for the stationary, a friend from uni has a business making hand made cards which I have ordered for the wedding party and another friend from school makes really amazing string and silhouette art which I’m going to incorporate into the guest book and head tables. Plus I’m kinda of hoping some things do go wrong on the day it makes the day more entertaining 🙂

    2. haha this is me!!! all I want is to get married and have a massive party and I have been sailing through like “what’s all the fuss about?! wedding planning is easy…”

      what has sent me over the edge is having to think about things I NEVER want to think about. I honestly could not care less about what type of cjds my friends spin their tunes on, or the dimensions of a certain space – it is BORING and it turns out that boring makes me stressed!

      Dress, venue, cake, photographer…those things have all been an absolute easy dream for me – the little things, not so much!

      Your feelings will probably change slightly before the year is through, but you’ll probably always retain the laid back attitude (i have, despite this post – my solution has been to ignore wedding planning for months…and I’m pretty chilled out right now!) – I’m just excited for the day now and for all these little stupid details to be out of my life!!!

  5. I hear you! I expected to love wedding planning but it’s been a lot less fun and more stressful that I thought! Now we’re five weeks away (FIVE!!) and I’m really overwhelmed by how much we have to do. I’m so looking forward to the day and to marrying my lovely fiancé but I’m just so over planning it! It’s so reassuring to know I’m not the only one We’ll get there ladies, and it WILL be worth it!

    1. I’m also surprised that I’m not loving wedding planning – initially I did & I thought it would be fully fun the whole way through. I think I’m just too busy to plan something of this size – but you’re right, we will get there, and it WILL be awesome and worth every second of the run up! x

  6. Oh Danielle, you’ve just brought back a little knot of anxiety that I thought had left my stomach two years ago. It also made me remember that the postmen at our local Royal Mail delivery office were so used to seeing me collect the ‘final bits’ parcels, they knew us by name and had joined in the wedding countdown!

    Spreadsheets are the way forward, and now’s the time to spend some of that saved cash on the stuff you wanted to DIY but ultimately cant be &rsed to! Good luck… not long to go now!! x

    1. Haha soz Karen! My wedding spreadsheet is out of control…it has TWENTY THREE tabs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Haha I’ve just realized how ridiculous that is – I need to sort my life out 🙁

      I have definitely reached the can’t-be-bothered-to-DIY stage, but thankfully I have a group of angels for friends – they are all descending on my flat whilst Scott is away on his stag & are going to help me get stuck into all the projects. Fingers crossed the bubbles don’t get in the way of the productivity! x

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