You spend a long time planning the big event (the wedding that is) that the one thing you look forward to most (in my case anyway) is just being married and making lots of wonderful memories together.
Our first year of marriage has seen an awful lot of change happening, so much so that we haven’t really focused too much on ‘being married’. The arrival of Baby O and moving house has dominated our thoughts, and with so much else to focus on has stood us in good stead. We try and have at least one night a month to go out and do something that isn’t focused on little Wilfred. It’s nice to not be Mummy and Daddy for a few hours, and after our first proper date when baby was 3 months old it felt good to feel Mr O put his arm around me and say ‘There’s my Jen’. (just like to point out he said this whilst I was jumping up and down in a field with beer in my hand, dancing to The Killers in Hyde Park).
I sometimes wonder if the fact we’ve been passing like ships in the night the last few months has done wonders for our marriage, we don’t get time to argue and every moment I get with him is quite pleasant, because we say nice things like ‘your bum looks nice today’ as apposed to ‘how many times have i asked you to pick up that dirty nappy you useless nob’ (which never happens, because he’s like boy wonder when it comes to tidying).
Ultimately the being married aspect hasn’t changed us at all, we are still just as we were before, becoming a Mum is the big life changer! Heck I could write for hours about how becoming a Mum has turned my life upside down (for the better of course).
All those months I spent cacking myself over being a Mrs was futile. Life is no different, life is actually a little more secure, which is nothing but lovely.
I think people should spend a little less time stressing about tying the knot, and just tie the knot already. It’s fantastic being married. My in laws have been married about 89 years, and I love that they have this vast expanse of life behind them, all those memories together just make for a happy and content retirement. Anyone married for that long will tell you it’s not easy, I should imagine they have their fair share of painful memories and testing times, but they still go out on ‘dates’ (they don’t call it such though). They spend time together doing fun things, they share the joy of their grandchildren, and they enjoy time apart when the elder Mr O goes away fishing. Whatever they do, it clearly works, because they are still married after all these years. It is something to be proud of, an achievement in this day and age where divorce is rife. It is something to aspire to.
One day, I will be the elder Mrs O, with my apron on, knocking up a pineapple upside down cake with one immaculately tidy hand, and applying Chanel lipstick with the other.
This might take some practising, I can barely manage to brush my hair in the mornings.
Oh, and here’s a gratuitous shot of Baby O. Just because.
Love Jen x
P.S What are you most looking forward to after the big day?