Life As A Wife

You spend a long time planning the big event (the wedding that is) that the one thing you look forward to most (in my case anyway) is just being married and making lots of wonderful memories together.

Our first year of marriage has seen an awful lot of change happening, so much so that we haven’t really focused too much on ‘being married’. The arrival of Baby O and moving house has dominated our thoughts, and with so much else to focus on has stood us in good stead. We try and have at least one night a month to go out and do something that isn’t focused on little Wilfred. It’s nice to not be Mummy and Daddy for a few hours, and after our first proper date when baby was 3 months old it felt good to feel Mr O put his arm around me and say ‘There’s my Jen’. (just like to point out he said this whilst I was jumping up and down in a field with beer in my hand, dancing to The Killers in Hyde Park).

I sometimes wonder if the fact we’ve been passing like ships in the night the last few months has done wonders for our marriage, we don’t get time to argue and every moment I get with him is quite pleasant, because we say nice things like ‘your bum looks nice today’ as apposed to ‘how many times have i asked you to pick up that dirty nappy you useless nob’ (which never happens, because he’s like boy wonder when it comes to tidying).

Ultimately the being married aspect hasn’t changed us at all, we are still just as we were before, becoming a Mum is the big life changer! Heck I could write for hours about how becoming a Mum has turned my life upside down (for the better of course).

All those months I spent cacking myself over being a Mrs was futile. Life is no different, life is actually a little more secure, which is nothing but lovely.

I think people should spend a little less time stressing about tying the knot, and just tie the knot already. It’s fantastic being married. My in laws have been married about 89 years, and I love that they have this vast expanse of life behind them, all those memories together just make for a happy and content retirement. Anyone married for that long will tell you it’s not easy, I should imagine they have their fair share of painful memories and testing times, but they still go out on ‘dates’ (they don’t call it such though). They spend time together doing fun things, they share the joy of their grandchildren, and they enjoy time apart when the elder Mr O goes away fishing. Whatever they do, it clearly works, because they are still married after all these years. It is something to be proud of, an achievement in this day and age where divorce is rife. It is something to aspire to.

One day, I will be the elder Mrs O, with my apron on, knocking up a pineapple upside down cake with one immaculately tidy hand, and applying Chanel lipstick with the other.

This might take some practising, I can barely manage to brush my hair in the mornings.

Oh, and here’s a gratuitous shot of Baby O. Just because.

Love Jen x

P.S What are you most looking forward to after the big day?

Author: Jenny

16 thoughts on “Life As A Wife

  1. Beautiful post Jen.. some wise words. I found out I was expecting a month after our big day so dont feel we have stepped off the rollercoaster yet.. And with the little one on the way I think it maybe a while before I feel my old self. Wilfred is absolutely gorgeous, you must feel so blessed. xxx

  2. Everything.
    Absolutely everything. Most of all, wearing the ring that says to the world I am married and grown up, and signing my name differently. Being a Mrs, a wife, and even though it makes no difference to a lot of people…officially being a team.

    I have to say during the planning so far, it has been a bit indifferent to normal. Nothing drastic has happened, and nothing that has taken up a lot of time. I spend most of my days daydreaming about the after part or the day itself and how much I can’t wait to see him see me walk down the aisle and say our vows.

    The part where I can see a gorge pair of shoes/jewells/make-up etc etc and not think “save it for the wedding fund” and just think “they’re mine!”

    He is going to be my husband! WOOHOO!! xx

  3. Lovely post Jenny.

    I have to admit, although we are only a month into married life, everything just seems that bit more rosy, and its the little things that make me smile…

    I get a warm and fuzzy feeling when I’m asked ‘is it miss or mrs’; I love it when my husband (eek!) calls me his wife; and most of all, I am enjoying the general loveliness of being a newlywed.

    Hopefully, this feeling will last for a very long time!


  4. My first year of marraige was tuff. About 1 months after we got married my sister found out that her husband was having an affair – huge shock as they always seemed to perfect. This triggered me to wonder why we even got married as clearly there nothing like “forever”. Then the recession really hit us( Hubby works in bulidng tride) and he was at home for quite a few months. In feb we will be married 3 years and now he works so much i mostly only see him 1 hour a day! But i know he is doing it so that we can move out of our one bedroom flat and i can become a mummy and embrake the domestic goddess that is bursting to come out of me.

  5. I’ve been married for just under 3 months and I can’t honestly say that being married has been a massive change – no practical change as we already lived together, for a start. I think the biggest change came when we got engaged – then I knew with total certainty that we were on the same page, that we wanted to be together forever and that this was ‘it’. It was an amazing feeling, and still is. Now we’re married we’re planning for a future that seems more real. It’s not ‘this might happen’ ‘we might have kids one day’ it’s more a matter of when!

  6. After 14 years together and 2 children I thought it would never happen to me, but hoorah he’s finally asked ‘the question’ so in march next year I become ‘the Mrs’. We’ve grown up together being in the relationship since I was 19 I now properly look forward to growing old with the same name as him and the kids!

    Yay for me…….

  7. I am looking forward to not saving for a wedding. For having new adventures together. For the next steps. For potential puppies. For all the places we want to go and see.

    And for everything to be as it always has, but you know married with it.

  8. Jenny-I love your posts. In fact I came straight from Urban Boheme over here-my two fave brit blogs.

    I got married about a month before you and in Jan, hubby and I are moving to Texas for three years. I am not having a baby though (yet!) so that’s the huge difference between you and I. However it is nice to know that somewhere in the world another girly is sending their kitty on a plane, waiting to find a new place to live and settle into a new culture.

    I guess that’s the answer to your closing question then: what do you look forward to most? The adventures you are going to have together, the way that you will bond when you weather the storms and everything else that life throws your way. The one constant is having the love and support of that other person.

    Best of luck with your move.

  9. This is my first comment as a married!! Yipeee!! We got married two weeks ago today.
    I can’t say it has changed us both. We were bickering again the day after the wedding. But I do feel more like a team now. Us vs the world. He is mine and I am his. I love it when he calls me wife. I’m so proud to have that ring on my finger and yesterday somebody asked me for the first time if he was my husband. I went all warm and fuzzy when I said yes.
    Being a Mrs is brilliant!!

  10. I fear, that after childbirth (which is when you look your worst) that I may become one of those wives who trumps freely and doesn’t bother with her hair.

    I must not become one of those wives!! I must not trump freely! I must retain some sort of mystery!

    Oh dear god, trust me to lower the tone. I apologise, but lately my life is all about baby poo and baby trumps. Never before have ever checked stools so avidly.

    Hong Kong can only be good for me, new culture, lifestyle, and what not.

    Ps Lottie Lavender, do you blog? You should do if you don’t. I know I would read it x

  11. I’m looking forward to not having a wedding to plan!

    I jest (a bit) of course. I can’t wait for my wedding but I’m mostly looking forward to everything that comes after and growing old together and having lots of wonderful adventures.

    We could do that without getting married but I’m really looking forward to standing up in front of all of our friends and family and promising that we’ll look after each other and cherish each other for the rest of our lives.

  12. I am getting married next month and I am so excited to be able to call myself Mrs Edwards. I love the fact that Mr E is really looking forward to this aswell, and wants me to change bank cards, driving license etc asap so we can see it everywhere in black and white! I have felt the change in us since our enagagement, ever so slight and sutle but the sense of belonging is growing each and every day! When we get married it will be one year to the day of our engagement, and i am so looking forward to the next adventures that come our way! and whats even mroe exciting, i know Mr E is too!

    I love The Urban Boheme Jenny, and am sending you lots of luck and best wishes for you move xxxx

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