My Big Dirty Wedding Report…Part 1

I love real RMW bride Naomi. For one she is hilarious. For two she says it and does it exactly how she pleases. Absolutely no BS.

Leaving everyone you know and everything you own to jet off around the world with nothing but a back-back straight after W-day? that takes some serious balls people. And that’s what Naomi and Gavin did. Currently in Australia (I have spoken to Naomi on Skype – she is one glowy, sunshine-filled type newly wed) they seem to be having a whale of a time, and so they should. What better way to spend the first year of marriage than with each other on a brand new adventure?

Just like the rest of Naomi’s no-holds-barred big day planning account this wedding report tells you what the day was actually like, as in the feelings and emotions – the excitement and the euphoria. As a result there are not many references to the specific details but frankly…. we couldn’t care less. There really are no hard and fast rules when it comes to how our real brides want to share their experience.

Here is what Adam had to say to Madam N: Honestly, it is hands down the best report I have read. It is so well structured, so full of emotion and it paints the day perfectly with words – I am glad I read it before looking through the images. You are an actual writer, rather than a reporter. As I was half way through part 3 I realised I had my left hand spread and pressed against my chest like some kind or proud old lady!

Naomi Liddel… we salute you.

It’s Monday afternoon folks and we suggest you get yourself a cuppa, maybe even some tissues, sit back and enjoy the story.

All of the lovely images are courtesy of Duke Studio’s.

Well here I am. Mrs L. L-dog. Mizzle Lizzle. Special Agent L. Ok enough!

I’m married!! It’s official. And to be honest it’s been official for a while! Almost 5 months now. And what a 5 months! Geez it’s been nuts. All kinds’a crazy good nuts. But we’ll start at the start shall we?

Saturday 21th May. T minus 6 days. Ash Cloud. Dun dun DUUUN! I jest now, but I was actually physically sick with worry. All of my family and the majority of my friends were flying to my wedding from all over. I had cold sweats, tears, nightmares and palpitations all whilst having to go through the usual week before stress of picking things up, confirming appointments, finishing favours etc. I just couldn’t believe this was happening. All my hard work and my family might not make my own wedding?! I was lost. But the most wonderful thing happened. All our family and friends rallied round, sending texts, provisionally booking boats, checking the met office, assuring me that if they had to swim the Irish Sea, they would be there. And they were. Every single one of them.

It was a dawning for me. I realised that not one of the things I had spent the last 18 months stressing about mattered. All the decisions and details… I honestly didn’t care anymore. All I wanted were my friends and family, and I got them.

I went from detail lunatic to “OH-MY-GOD-I’M-SO-HAPPY-TO-SEE-YOU” lunatic overnight and it felt amazing! On the Wednesday before the wedding, I sacked everything and took my Mum out for a birthday lunch. Along with my sister and The Chief we had tea, sandwiches and cupcakes. It was bliss.

The day before. What a blur! I remember saying goodbye to Gavin in a not so romantic way, brief kissing outside the car while my Dad yelled “There’ll be plenty of time for that tomorrow!”. I remember buzzing around in the car with my Dad, picking up the cake and dropping all of the decorations at the venue. I remember feeling very relieved that Carolyn at The Caves was so on top of things. I also remembered singing along to U2 songs with my Dad. I felt at ease. I was to spend the night before at my Auntie Geraldine’s house, so my Dad dropped me off along with my Mum and my bridesmaids.

We ate Chinese, Becks secretly repainted my nails (to patch up the manicure I managed to bugger up which my Mum had paid for…shhh!), we watched TV and chilled out. Then my Auntie told me she had something for me. Everyone rallied round with cameras so I knew the bitches were up to something! She made me close my eyes as she guided me into her bedroom (the room my Mum and I were staying that night). I opened them to find that she had completely transformed the place!! She had 12 red roses and 12 white roses in crystal vases, banners, balloons, a Yankee Wedding Day candle filling the room with beautiful fresh floral scent, hanging candle holders and brand new silk bed sheets. I couldn’t believe the thought she’d put into it! I burst into tears only to have her say, “Wait… there’s more”.

She handed me two presents. One big, one small, both square-ish and wrapped in brown paper. Both from Gavin. I bounced on the bed with excitement and shock! I ripped open the big one to find a painting. A painting I had pointed out in a gallery a year before. I fell head over heels in love with this beautiful seascape, but we couldn’t afford it with the wedding and the trip! The bastard bought it! I was in shock. How had he done it? How did I not know? Nothing could top this… ever!


After much persuading to look away from the painting, I tore open the smaller one. And to this day I cannot believe what I’m about to say. He wrote me a book. An actual real life little book, all properly bound and everything. It was a book documenting the 3 years we had spent together, all mixed up, all gorgeous and from the heart. He wrote about the first time he met me, the first time he kissed me, laughs we had and the things that tried us. And he put it all in the book.

That night I went to sleep reading about us, all those tiny little happenings that brought us to this point. I knew the future lay like a road ahead of us and that I was luckiest woman in the world as I read the last line…

“See you at the bay window at 2 o’clock. xo”

I woke up and my Mum was awake. She told me that she had lay and looked at me all morning thinking that she couldn’t believe her baby girl was getting married today. TODAY!! The cloudy, sleepy penny dropped! I leapt up! Bolted out of the room to find my Auntie in the kitchen cooking bacon sandwiches. The smell filled the house and I bounced around like a mental with the biggest smile pasted on my face! I dived on top of all of the girls, screaming that To.Day was my Wedding Day!!!!

I thought I would be too nervous to eat, but I was feckin marvin’!! I scoffed a whole massive bacon bap and downed a cup of tea. We then set about gathering up all the odds and ends. Whilst we were doing this, Mum & Auntie Geraldine come out with flutes of bucks fizz. My Dad soon arrived in his car to take me to the venue. We were all getting ready at the venue you see. The girls had one floor and the boys had another so Gavin and I wouldn’t cross paths. It was all so bloody exciting!

The car ride to the venue with my Dad was one of the best bits of my day. I was drinking Champagne, we were singing along to the radio and talking about the day ahead. He was in such a great mood and I was in utter disbelief that the day had finally come. After we loaded everything from the car into the bedrooms I ran straight down to where the ceremony would be held. I had to catch my breath. The next time I saw my Gavin it would be at that bay window. And he would be promising to be my husband.

Just then the girls arrived and we giggled and hugged our way upstairs to the rooms where project ‘turn-everybody-spectacular’ would commence. We had no hair or make-up artists so the rooms became an array of straighteners, curlers, shoes, clothes, makeup and more. I had to escape.

I went to the farthest room on the floor and claimed the bathroom for myself. I lit candles, lined up my products, put the towels on the heaters and turned on the shower. Bliss. Then I hear a tap at the door. It’s my Mum, “Your Groom’s arrived!” she sings. I felt like my heart jumped out the window, did a lap of the grounds and jumped back into my chest, it was beating so hard.

I rejoined the chaos to start my hair and makeup. The rollers went into the hair and I stopped, looked around me and saw all my favourite girls buzzing about, doing their thing. There was Champagne flowing and my Dad had made an iPod playlist that was rocking my socks off. It had everything from Elbow to Pearl Jam and I couldn’t have been happier.

Then I started my makeup. I looked at myself in the mirror and froze. “I can’t do this” I thought, I looked at the light, it was so strong, I didn’t know how much to put on. I panicked. Luckily our friend Charlotte had arrived at this stage (early, as her partner Johnny was playing the music at the ceremony) she came running to the rescue and as a self confessed make up addict who has had hers professionally done on more than one occasion, I was saved. I just sat back and relaxed again. Poor soul then got roped into applying fake eyelashes to the maids, playing messenger between us and the boys and generally being run ragged. But she did it all with a smile & I’m eternally grateful.

Eventually time comes to get me into my dress and down that spiral staircase (in 46 inch sparkly heels? I think not!) That’s when the nerves set in. My knee’s went to jelly and I was praying that it couldn’t be seen amongst the gorgeous-floaty-silky fabric that was my sexy little Old Hollywood vs Helen of Troy -esque gown. I had to take a min to breathe. Everyone had left and it was just me and my Dad again. He told me to take my time and that it didn’t matter if I was late. I was the bride. Meanwhile, unbeknownst to us, Gavin’s father was at the front tapping the watch on his wrist, to which they all start laughing. “Oh my Holy good God, I’m the bride!” I thought.

Yes Naomi you were indeed the bride. A beautiful smiley knock-em-dead Rock My Wedding bride.

Can’t wait for part 2.

Big Naomi Love

Charlotte xxx

Author: Charlotte O’Shea
Purveyor of short shorts. Make-up junkie. Hopes to grow old disgracefully.

45 thoughts on “My Big Dirty Wedding Report…Part 1

  1. A book?! He wrote you a BOOK? I can’t even concentrate on the amazing splendiferous pretty because I can’t stop tearing up that he wrote you a book. O.M.G

  2. Naomi: you look amazing and you tell such a wonderful story of the day, I was so excited to see this & hear from you! Amazing, and worth the wait 😉 looking forward to pt 2 🙂

  3. Naomi – this is a totally mental question, and I could be totally crazy, but is your friend Charlotte who did your make up… Charlotte Church?!?! May be putting two and two together and geting 25 but you mention her boyfriend Johnny AND she looks just like her!!!

    That aside…. I love your photos, your report, everything. You look so unbelievably happy and gorgeous!!

    Hope you having the most AMAZING time in Oz lady


  4. This is the most beautiful wedding EVER!!!! You look breathtaking, Naomi, and so does your husband. Massive congratulations! xxxxx

  5. Oh my actual god, the book present must be the most romantic thing I have ever heard!!

    Katie – I was also wondering about Charlotte Church, if it’s not she is the spitting image!

    You look absolutely stunning and both very, very happy! Congratulations x

  6. Hi girlies!
    Thought I’d jump in early this time so I can have a good old chin wag with you all.

    Firstly – Charlotte & Adam. What an incredible intro. You guys actually rock my socks & I can’t wait til our next Skype date.

    Secondly – HE WROTE ME A BOOK! I know. I still get all teary thinking about it. I was thinking that I should post a little excerpt, maybe I will one day.

    Thirdly- Thank you so much for your lovely compliments. I loved every minute of it.

    Fourthly (?) – it is in fact Miss Church.

    Fifthly (??) – I know i haven’t harped on about details but if anyone has any detail questions, fire away!

    Excited to see part 2 myself!! It’s been 5 bloody months!! I need my wedding fix! Xo

  7. It’s been a long time coming but it’s soooooooo worth the wait!

    Firstly: Naomi – You. Rock.

    Secondly: Congratulations to you and the lovely Mr L!!!

    Thirdly: This report is blaady marvellous and I cannot wait to read the next part.

    Finally: He wrote you an ACTUAL book. Swoooon.


  8. I’m such a soppy bugger. Have snotted all over the children’s work I’m marking (so much for half term…)

    The book! The dress! Dad’s ipod playlist! The bedroom! Bacon sarnies!

    I actually cannot wait for part 2. Now, please! x

  9. HE WROTE YOU A BOOK?!?!?! An actual OMG-I-cant-bloody-believe-it BOOK!!!!!

    Naomi – you look absofinglutley gorgeous and I am so happy for you both.

    Please post an excerpt – though after Gavin’s words in your final planning report I’m not sure I can take much more!!!

    Enjoy Oz and the world lovely.


  10. Naomi. Finally!! Been looking forward to this for months!!
    Looks like you had an amazing day (you look stunning!). What a romantic husband you have!!
    Can’t wait to see the rest!!

  11. I am spellbound by how beautiful the report is, Naomi looks fantastic, and she has celeb mates to boot that can do make up! SCORE!

    The book made me fill up summat rotten, I have started writing for David for the morning, not a book mind, just some of my favorite memories. Mainly as he is the hardest person to buy for, never wants anything and is not into material things one bit. But Gavin wrote you a book!!!!! That just took my freaking breath away! What a ledgend! I second we need a snippet from said book!

    On a superficial note, I swear blind Kirsty Allsop is in one of the photos, or is my imagination running away with me?

    I love love your report Naomi and can’t wait for the next part, oh and hope your honeymoon is going fabby!

  12. Naomi – this is the random question of the day but can I ask what you use that makes your eyebrows look so stunning?!

    P.S. I should have mentioned in my earlier post how absolutely beautiful you look. Your dress is stunning and I’m hoping we get to see the back of it too! xx

  13. CHARLOTTE CHURCH?! this is my second comment after the book thing. Are you kidding me?! Coolest. Wedding. Ever. (obvs miss Church is our 2nd-favourite Charlotte though 😉 )

  14. @Alex(84) – No Kirsty I’m afraid. You have no idea how much your words will mean to your man friend. Gorgeous idea!

    @Apollo -MY eyebrows? Noone has ever complimented my eyebrows! I feel all excited about that! Gavin gets complimented on his quite often! (yes really) I just wax ’em & use a maybelline eyebrow pencil to fill in the gaps.

    Gavin is lovin’ the love for the book. I’ve started a new blog to follow on from the wedding, so I’ll post up a wee excerpt soon for y’all to bubble over. It’s gorgeous. Actually gorgeous!

  15. I thought it was Charlotte Church but then thought… she probably just really looks like her (I was looking on the iphone)… I didnt put two & two together because I didnt twig 🙂

    And the book must mean more than anything! Priceless 🙂

  16. Oh my goodness – seriously teared up! *sob*

    The room full of flowers…the painting…the book…the playlist…the hair…the DRESS…the lipstick (what is it please?!)

    Naomi – you look unbelievable! Congratulations!! xx

  17. Guys, this is only the start of it.

    The Book is genius – obviously, and it’s always nice to have a celeb or two knocking about to put your slap on…. but seriously people this wedding story has only just begun.

    N&G you guys are so lucky – you totally deserve each other.

    Everyone else, we are damn lucky too just because we get to share the best day of their lives.


  18. Congratulations Naomi!! Your dad sounds AWESOME!!

    It looks like you were all having a fabulous time getting ready for the big day and your dress is absolutely stunning!

    I’ll be telling Tom about the book this evening… amazing. Simply amazing.

    Can’t wait for part 2…..

  19. @Ruth – it’s Aqualumiere by Chanel in Porto Rotondo. I adore it! But have recently found out it’s been discontinued! Feckin boo. I’m sure if you ask at the counter they could give you the nearest match.

    @Adam – Your such a sap. But in the best most cute & endearing way possible. The deserving each other part? No one deserves my husband. Not even me. But I got him so nanana nana na! 😉

  20. I have been looking forward to this for ages! beautiful report Naomi, I love the BM’s dresses and you look gorge Xx

  21. WOW! This truely is beautiful and I know it must seem a bit repetative but seriously a book! That is just so amazingly sweet! Was at a friends house the other day and she said how her photographer had asked if her h2b had bought her flowers or a pressie that she wanted a photo taken of…he hadn’t! I was glad my h2b was there to hear that 😛 hee hee. Can not wait for part two will be up early checking! 😀

  22. I’m seconding Celine – Naomi your dad is AWSOME (do you hire him out?!)

    Also … you look rather gorgeous, LOVE the book thing and we had a big discussion about whether Charlotte Church and Kirstie Allsop graced your wedding. Not many people can say CC did their wedding makeup! Can’t wait for part 2. And pleeease say there is a video????????????????

  23. Goosebumps too! Naomi you look amazing and the book – that is just the most romantic thing ! (You know i’ll be reading this out to H2B later ;-))

    Very jel on the honeymoon too! xo

    Hugest Congratulations!

    Rachie xo

    PS: Loving the fact that you were starving on your wedding day – that is so gonna be me!! I know everyone says you cant eat a thing but that has never happened to me before so unlikely on the W-day !! xx

  24. Beautiful, amazing etc etc…! So great to hear about your wedding (part 1). What/where is your wedding blog Naomi?
    I’m loving the bridesmaids’ dresses too- looks like a similar colour scheme to my wedding next year so I’m even more excited about part 2!
    Must be lovely to relive it all again!

    Amy x

  25. Naomi, you look fabulous!! Totally rocking Hollywood Glamour… Can’t believe it’s been almost a year since we met at the RMW shoot but what an amazing day and so nice to finally hear your story. And you’ve definitely found yourself a great man there – how romantic! Brilliant write-up… loved reading it. BIG congrats and enjoy the rest of your trip… you lucky things! x

  26. OMG I have been waiting Mrs Naomi for months and I can’t believe I have only just seen it (busy day at work) This is so bloody good I might actually pee myself you LOOK AMAZING I love love love your dress! The flowers are so brilliant very unusual and THE BOOK I’m so flipping jealous why didnt I get a book?(making notes for request of book from husband for anniversary!) that is so romantic do you have photographs of said painting and the mostamazingintheworldmakesmewanttocry book!
    I am biting my nails in anticipation for part 2 and did Adam say part 3!

    (I’m not going to even mention how bloody cool it was to have a miss church as a wedding guest)


  27. Book – wow. However the bit that made me fill up with tears whilst sitting on my sofa…. was the bit about your mum watching you as you slept! Beautiful.
    Congratualtions. And how wonderful to go away for a year together. I travelled with my partner tooo! for a whole 13months 🙂 now we are engaged together with a 1 year old baby boy. Dreaming about our wedding. Hope its as magical as yours!.

  28. Naomi, you look utterly stunning!!! Your dad also sounds like a hero and I agree with thhe others…a book! Ha, I am about to show this to Andy!!!! Cant wait for part 2. love xxxxx

  29. a f**cken book? my fiance aint happy. Cannot wait for part two. – please can we know the wedding ceremony venue? I am a scottish bride to be also!

  30. Bugger – just typed a ridic. long message… and then deleted it :o(
    Naomi – I LOVE this write up – so heartfelt and lovely. You look AMAZING!

    I’m forthing Celine, Shirley and kelly – your Dad sounds brilliant! What a star!!

    I can’t wait for the next installment, and also (hopefully) for a write up of your world trip, so I can live it vicarously through you and Gav!

    Congratulations lovelies xx

  31. I f**king LOVE Naomi (I threw the ‘f’ word in just for you Naomi as it’s your most favourite of the swear words!)

    Can’t wait to read more, I am hooked

    And you look foxy in that dress, i want to pinch your bottom even more now

    Jen xx

  32. I absolutely love and adore every single one of all of your bones. You guys are just supreme and have made my week!!

    @Celine @Shirley @Kelly @Mrs A-to-be My Dad rocks the casbah! Seriously the man is a legend. All my friends call him ‘Peter’ because of his uncanny resemblance to Peter Griffin from Family Guy.

    @Shirley There IS a video… but it’s about 2.5 hours long.

    @Rachie – I polished off every piece of food that came near me that day! Word of warning, no-one remembers to feed the bride throughout the day. So make sure you grab some canopes as they pass.

    @Stacey – I will most certainly have photographs of the painting and the book, I’m even going to post snippets of the book up on my blog. Maybe a weekly thing. Don’t know yet. Keep your eyes peeled 😉

    @One Jolly Girl – It’s Winton House in Pencaitland. Honestly, they are fantastic… and I mean fantastic. And the house is just incredible. Did you know that it was burnt down by Henry VIII to impress Mary Queen of Scots during the Rough Wooing? Little bit of history for a rainy morning (yes it’s also raining in Australia).

    @Mrs A-to-be I’m going to be writing about our travels for 163 years! It’s been so much fun! Pictures/videos… everything is going up on the blog!

    @Jenny – You ole bollocks you (couldn’t think of any other way to get your favourite in… well I could, but it’s non appropriate for such a pretty blog). Bum pinching will be done in Hong Kong and your blog is also rocking my world. I feel like I know you… but I don’t. It’s bizarre.

    I am probably more excited about Part 2 than you all put together. So much so that I am going out to buy myself an entire chocolate cake to share with Gavin as we read your comments! (This is a true story).

  33. Oh my god love it. …tears and tears! And the book????!!! How romantic!! Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous. Your writing is amazing, love how you totally got the emotion and excitement and happiness of the day across! x

  34. What a wonderful day, you were amazing as you have always been, even as a little girl, so proud of you, miss you sooo much. love reading this, have a gun to Gerards head making him write me a book!!! FS he has never wrote me anything in his life, you have a wee gem there, but sure you know that,xx

  35. @Cloggins – T’was merely an exaggeration.

    @Angela – You have actually made me cry, like real life cry. I miss you too, very very much.

    @everyone – Angela is like my second Mother. I grew up with her kids and she is officially the coolest person ever! She also scares me when she shouts. But I love her anyway.

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