Well, where do I begin with this one!! If I cast my mind back to one normal, boring, grey day of school………..I was about 13 ish and I was walking to my Geography class which I hated (yawn yawn) in my snazzy maroon and gold blazer and itchy, grey, knee length pleated skirt – nice combo NOT! and I heard it, an awful noise which will stay with me forever, “HUUUUUUUUHHHHH HUUUUUUUHHHHHH” (like the noise a big tank would make) I looked over my shoulder and there they were, a group of nasty boys taking the pee out of me for being a bit chubby, they all laughed together and said “Here comes tank girl!!”
That was without a doubt, THE worst Geography lesson I ever had, I was so sad and blue inside and all I wanted to do was cry and eat crisps…. lots of them! Since that day I have always had an unhealthy obsession about my weight which is not great as I just LOVE FOOD.. as I have admitted before. To lose weight I have tested the lot, not eating for days (that made me very sad indeed) spending lots of cash on diet pills which absolutely do not work and some even sent me a wee bit loopy loo…. an expensive personal trainer who was great but can’t afford him anymore. Weight Watchers, which was good but now they have changed the system I just cannot make it work for me (anyone else tried the new system??) and last but not least a gym membership which I do love and go as much as I can.
I am actually going to confess to even having gone under the knife and had liposculpture, I know it’s drastic but I thought long and hard about it and had tried a lot of things previously, it wasn’t taken lightly in any way but it has actually changed my life – I didn’t do it to lose weight, I did it to change my shape and now I curve in the right places for me and I don’t regret it in the slightest…. The most awful thing is though is that those boys really changed me, they put it in my head that I wasn’t quite “right” in their stupid opinion and it has stayed with me ever since.
The fact is that I will never be thin and I don’t want to be either, I just want to be in proportion which I think I am now but it’s taken me a long time to get used to the fact that I am “me” and I need to like me a little bit more. I think now I am ENGAGED WOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! (sorry, burst of excitement) that I will definitely trim up for the Big Day but I wont go mad, excercise makes me feel good and when you feel good you look good …thats a fact!
So if you, like me are a little bit obsessed with diets and weight, and you have a “fat day” don’t hate yourself, take a look in the mirror get yourself together and think excercise, go for a walk, jog, skip, run, swim ….. whatever. It will make you feel better. Promise.
Lots of Love Vix AKA (no longer)”Tank Girl”