I have been meaning to write a post around the subject of bridesmaids for some time now, I was just waiting for the right bolt of inspiration to strike. And then at the weekend it did after a visit from RMW reader Kelly to the RMW NWS stand for a one to one consultation.
Kelly is getting married in Italy (she showed Vix and I the venue – immense I tell you) and is having TEN BRIDESMAIDS. Yes ten. Now this is obviously quite a few. And there is nothing wrong with that, have thirty if you want or just opt for the one – anything goes at RMW as you know. But that is a lot of best girls to think about isn’t it? a lot of different shapes and sizes and skin tones to mull over. And when I made that last statement I base it on the fact the vast majority of brides would consider their potential maids preferences as well as their own desires for certain fashion and colour schemes….wouldn’t they?
As it happens Kelly was lucky enough to find a gown that all of her maids liked and the shade worked perfectly with the design and decor of her day. Except she was still worried. “What if they just look like ten identical green bottles?!” and so we discussed small ways in which if your frocks are the same, alternative accessories or bouquets could be a way of giving each one of your besties something of their “own”. Or a different hairstyle or a different make-up look. Or a million and one different ways to avoid 100% identikit.
And there lies my first question, what about if you do want a bunch of 100% identical lovelies all in a row? that’s ok if they are ok with it right?…. I don’t see why not. Or actually should it be ok regardless, after all it’s your day….right?
But then what if it’s not, what about if you have spent months trying to find a flirty little number only for one, or two or um…all of your girls to pull a face, flatly refuse to wear X, Y or Z and even throw a full on foot-stomping temper tantrum (hey it happens – you’ve told us.)
How can you please every single person all of the time?
The short answer? you can’t.
And actually in many ways you would like to think that your favourite ladies in the whole wide world would be flattered, honoured and frankly dead friggin’ chuffed to be tasked with being such a significant part of your day. I know I was.
So if the above were true then there would surely be room for compromise, meeting in the middle somewhere so that the bride and her maids can all feel comfortable and look fabulous for the big day….. well at least I’d like to think so.
I mean let’s be honest here, there must be some requests from brides which are just a wee bit unreasonable. When Vix and I were travelling back from the NWS in the big white transit (I know – being a W-day blogger is the height of glamour) and in-between singing along to 80’s power ballads (badly) we were discussing this very subject. I have yet to indulge but Vix informed me that apparently on My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding recently one of the brides had her friend dress up as a giant pineapple (or was it a palm tree?) admittedly not for the actual ceremony but still, I’m not sure no matter how much I love my best friend I would have been that stoked to be gracing the aisle as an over-sized tropical fruit. The truth be known though I probably would have – if that’s what she really wanted.
And there lies my next question, aforementioned foot-stomping tantrum throwing maid, erm…. why would anyone pick a lady with a penchant for that kind of behaviour anyways? or is it just a case of genuinely not having a scooby until said foot-stomper is already in the position of being your maid that they become well….kind of difficult?
On the RMW Facebook page and just from speaking to various lovelies that are getting wed in the not too distant future, it seems that amongst the endless bunting making and jam jar saving one of the subjects that seems to cause the most (for want of a better word) “grief” for W-day is the various actions of those very people who are supposed to be supporting you and making the whole planning experience extra lovely.
And this makes me a wee bit sad.
But being a place of positivity and escapism I thought we could do a one-eighty and throw a few words of wisdom and advice into the mix on how to potentially avoid anything less than a brilliant experience with your best girls.
Here’s my starter for ten:
As in, ask your maids if there are certain hues they would never wear in a month of Sundays (me it’s mustard – makes me look jaundiced) or certain styles of dress that make them want to run away and hide. That way at least you can rule out what makes your girls feel really uncomfortable before you potentially waste endless hours trawling the shops and or/the inter web only for your cousin Hilda to announce she would rather never eat a bag of Minstrels again than be seen in tangerine taffeta.
Show Them Some Images.
Of the things you really like. Admittedly they may not love it all but at least there will be no unpleasant surprises when you exclaim excitedly that you have found them the “one” i.e. a striped metallic playsuit…. (this would be awesome by the way but I get how lots of ladies may not be keen on flashing so much leg/and or their derrière.)
Outline Who Is Responsible For What.
In terms of paying for stuff I mean. i.e. You may be willing to provide the dress and shoes but want your best girls to provide their own accessories, reasonable enough until you want them to have a certain type of accessory that they may not actually own. There is nothing wrong with this request in principal of course but making it clear from the start will hopefully remove a slightly embarrassing situation further down the line. And everyone has a budget, it’s one thing asking your maids to don a pink fabric flower they can pick up in Topshop for a fiver and quite another to expect them to invest in a very fancy necklace off of Links of London. (Seriously I’ve seen it happen.)
And that, before I bore the panties off you all with my ramble is all folks.
But what about you?
Any areas that you have become unstuck with regards your bridesmaids?
Anything that is worrying or bothering you?
Any advice you are willing to share with the community so we can all live happily ever after in peace and harmony….?
We would love to hear all about your experiences and adventures.
Big I may draw the line at dressing up as a giant mustard coloured banana Love