The Gorgeous, The Bad And The Very Ugly.

For some months after I said “I do” on a glorious sunny Friday in May 2009 I lived in a perfect little newly-wed bubble. I basked in the glow of my dream wedding day and the prospect of becoming the archetypal stepford wife. And by this I’m not eluding to the subservient aspect, more the desire to evolve from a dis-organised and untidy young lady into this immaculately groomed, witty and consistently charming woman that exudes confidence and allure.

I wanted my home to smell of apples and cinnamon and triumph (because I had baked a delicious cake)

I wanted to find a job that I truly loved and transform into an uber successful career woman (because then I would have so much to talk about at the dinner table)

I wanted to emerge from my front door like one of those glossy celebrity types with bouncy shiny hair and flawless skin even when they are just “doing the school run” ( yes I’m talking about you Elle Mcpherson)

Hell. I wanted it all.

And I know what you’re thinking, because as I’m writing this I’m thinking the same. Shallow.

So. Before you read on I’m going to offer you the opportunity of a get-out-of-jail-free-card. This post isn’t about romantic gestures and mellifluous poetry. I am not going to sugar-coat my words and endeavor to offer you a sneak peek into the O’Shea marriage through a pair of rose-tinted spectacles. And although 99.9% of the time I don’t advocate the use of profanities, there may even be swearing involved.

Here’s the part at which you are free to leave. You have been warned.

A few months into writing my W-day report on the infamous YAYW forum I received a phone call from one of my best friends. She had inadvertently stumbled across a thread on another website that was in short all about me. And my big day.

It wasn’t nice.

I was mocked and critisised both for my appearance and my “voice” and seemingly the very fact that my wedding styling and accompanying planning account had become so popular. I was labelled a fake. My story was labelled boring, too long and “Yawn-worthy”. Someone even said I must be an “under-cover” journalist who was only writing about their experience to gain a readership for the launch of RMW.

I need to point out here that I’m not looking for the sympathy vote, I realise that negativity of this kind (ie to hide behind an on-line persona so they can attempt to hurt others) either stems from jealousy (which itself stems from their own insecurities) or the very real fact that there are just ugly people out there. And I’m not talking aesthetically. I mean those who get their rocks off from being well…. mean.

I won’t pretend the comments didn’t sting. They did. It made me question a lot of things about myself, whether creating a UK wedding blog was the right way forward and completely burst the aforementioned perfect bubble. The taunts and the spite isn’t what almost broke me though – sticks and stones and all that. No. It was the fact that they took an image of James, the man I loved without condition, loaded it onto the site and tore strips off him too.

I felt like someone had kicked me with a size twelve hobnail boot. And it was all my fault.

Had I not been so excited and proud and so ruddy naive to think that all other planning brides must feel the same as me, I wouldn’t have written my report in the first place. And I wouldn’t have had to witness my favourite boy be ridiculed on-line.

I spent a week battling with how I was going to tell him what had happened or even if I ever should. And then I woke up with my head swollen like a giant melon, covered in hideous welts and couldn’t breathe. James swiftly called an ambulance and after visits from six (yes six!) consultants I was diagnosed with Acute Urticaria (i.e Hives) which after a fortnight of tests and steroids they concluded was brought on by stress.

Regardless of the diagnosis I felt the need to explain all to James. And you know what? he laughed. He laughed at these ugly people and their silly mindless comments. He told me they were sad. Very sad. And told me that I should feel sorry for them and not waste another minute of my time worrying myself with such pointless bollocks. He told me that not telling him about what had been upsetting me and seeing me hauled up to a drip was far worse than the behaviour of shameless bullies.

It taught me a valuable lesson.

Nearly two years later I can hold my head up high and say that I count myself lucky. Because there are lots of you gorgeous ladies out there who deal with awful situations every day, serious illness, financial worries, family bereavement – I think I got off lightly in comparision.

My first six months of marriage wasn’t all roses and romance and I accept the next sixty years are not going to be either. But that’s ok, because when the going gets tough I know I’m not going it alone.

So then. Mrs O’Shea’s views on marriage and a few of my pearls of wisdom.

Marriage means caring about someone else more than you care about yourself.

It means for all the good times there are invariably going to be bad times, sometimes maybe even really ugly times. And it’s about coming out of these the other side. Together. Better. Stronger.

It means that you can continue to be you or you can strive to be a better version of you, you don’t have to scent your house with apple and cinnamon generated from your extrordinary baking skills to be a good wife. You are a good wife. That’s why he asked you to be one in the first place.

You are both allowed to make mistakes.

You are both even allowed to occasionally (what your partner may consider) really f*ck up. Providing you can forget, forgive and move the hell on.

Neither of you are perfect. There will be times when you drive each other nuts with your less than favourable attributes.

You are both allowed to have as many non common interests as you like. It’s what keeps our dinner table banter so entertaining. Not my uber successful career. Although RMW is pretty fascinating.

You will experience achievements and failures. Be proud of both. It’s what makes you who you are.

When you are at your lowest ebb, the chips are down and the road ahead looks bleak, you know you have someone there by your side. Always.

Rebecca needed to make peace with her not-so-perfect wedding, I needed to make peace with my not-so-perfect first few months as a wife.

And now maybe you can appreciate why I continually bang on about what an amazing and inspiring community we have on here – I once had front row seats to the darker side.

You guys rock my world.

Here’s to the gorgeous, the bad, the ugly and being (realistically) happily married.

Big Love

Charlotte xxx

Author: Charlotte O’Shea
Purveyor of short shorts. Make-up junkie. Hopes to grow old disgracefully.

96 thoughts on “The Gorgeous, The Bad And The Very Ugly.

  1. Wow.

    I’m, for once (and this does not happen often) completely speechless.

    I was one of the original YAYW readers who devoured your wedding report for so many reasons, but the main one being you were honest and open about changes you made and the reasons for doing things your way.

    I had no idea that someone else could be cruel enough to slate what was a wonderful and fascinating report written by a happier than could be newly wed bride.

    If I had known, there would have been more than a couple of choice comments from me on that post.

    I am still gobsmacked by the malicious people in this world who seek to do nothing but attempt to make other people feel bad about themselves.

    But honestly, some people always feel the need to bring other down, because it stops them from dealing with the problems and insecurities in their own lives. Especially when the wedding report in question was written by a blatently gorgeous, witty, intelligent and lovely person.

    Sweetie, you have made so many brides so unbelieveably happy just by writing your wedding report, and even more by running RMW.

    I have never met you and I am so proud of what you and Rebecca have created. I know that you have kept me strong when I chose to do my day my way, particularly re my dress problems with my mother.

    xxx

  2. There are some pathetic people out there aren’t there? Your blog is amazing and you have every right to be proud of it.

    I love your wedding advice too by the way. May just copy and paste that and print it to stick in my purse 🙂

    Big RMW-loving hugs!
    xxxxxxxxxxxxx

  3. Wow – Charlotte I had no idea you’d been through all of that, I guess looking back it’s a case of what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Sounds a little flippant after reading your blog post though.

    Great advice – sometimes wedding planning and all the little exciting things we do take over, and we lose sight of love (as it says in whatever famous wedding reading that line comes from) – and we need to remember what real life is about.

    I’ve lived with my boyfriend and his kids for 11 years now, and the same applies: I was naive and imagined a perfect home / life etc etc – never happened and we have some firework moments for sure! But… we learn every day as we grow up, and that’s what marriage and relationships are about.

    Weddings and blogs are a lovely distraction, and dreams and creativity are such an important part of life. It’s just about the balance, and that changes and grows all the time.

    I love your advice – a nice reminder of what’s important in life 🙂

    Claire xxx

  4. I really enjoyed Rebecca’s marriage ‘advice’ but couldn’t really think of anything else to do because everyone was saying it so well.

    But I just had to comment on this post, when I saw this line: ‘It means for all the good times there are invariably going to be bad times, sometimes maybe even really ugly times. And it’s about coming out of these the other side. Together. Better. Stronger.’

    Me and my boy had a really awful year from mid 2009 – mid 2010. As crisis after crisis kept coming our way, throwing in some deaths, stressful births and life-changing news for good measure, all I kept thinking was that I wished we were married. And then he proposed in May 2010, having spent months waiting for the right moment and I realised that this was us telling the world that we could get through all of the things life throws at you TOGETHER.

    He was there when I needed him as my boyfriend, he’s continued to be there as my fiance and in less than 2 months I’ll become his wife and we’ll meet the good, the bad and the ugly as a new family.

    Thanks for making me remember how lucky I am, Charlotte xxx

  5. I don’t think, until this point, I had truly appreciated how brave you girls have been putting yourselves ‘out there’ (on the internet as opposed to other places!!). I have never blogged as I always thought that I never had anything to write about but really I know that it’s because I’m not brave enough to bare my soul in the way that you need to.
    Please please always keep it with you that for every malicious person out there who wants to pass judgement where they have no right, there are a hundred women who you’re helping through this exciting and unknown territory.

    And if that’s too deep – we LOVE all the pretty – don’t ever let it stop!!!

  6. May I be the first to announce that I love James?

    (Not in the same way you do, obviously. That would be, well…a touch weird)

    But what a brilliant, supportive, off-the-cuff, exactly-what-you-needed reaction from him.

    I’m not going to say what I think about the thread dissing your wedding and your marriage. You know exactly what I think. Cough…SPINELESS COWARDS…cough.

    What I will say is that your advice is spot-on. Especially caring about someone more than yourself. I do that for Mr K without even thinking about it – it’s a gut reaction – and I think (hope) that’s strong foundation for a really good marriage.

    You are amazing, and so is RMW, and you have made the right choice to surround yourself with people that give back what they get from you – positivity, inspiration and a really good giggle.

    Big apple and cinnamon love (copyright CO’S) x

  7. I’d like to echo what Lora said, thank you for a beautifully honest post. Its amazing to be able to see the real people behind such a gorgeous (and addictive!) site like RMW.

  8. I just want to say, I love your voice.

    It inspires me with your posts of down right gorgeous things all day long, then weeks like this it reminds me I don’t have to be perfect to be a wife, I just have to be me.

    Keep the advice coming! xxx

  9. i think you’ve well and truly had the last laugh on the cyber bullies… im know im not alone in my several hits-a-day fix of RMW loveliness and to hear your thoughts and ramblings.

    have to echo what your husband said it is all pointless bollox and if that’s where one finds their satisfaction in life then dear me.

  10. I’m like Lora – I remember reading your report on YAYW and really loving it. But I had no idea about this – how horrid. That’s the trouble with the internet – everyone gets to be faceless and nameless, and therefore it’s so much easier to tear into other people than in real life, and you rarely get pulled up for it.
    But good on you for getting past it (and the hives – poor you!), and for not letting it stop what you wanted to do.
    And it’s so good to remember the perspective that our husbands can give us (and vice versa) – and that’s one of the real joys of being married (or, in a serious relationship), knowing that there’s someone there to pick you up, laugh at you for being a wally, and show you how to carry on.
    (Also, we had a horrendous first year of marriage, which involved far too many people we loved getting ill, too many hospital visits and funerals and just general sad times, and I was actually just so so glad when it was over. But the best thing about it? That no matter how sad or horrid things got, Matthew was always by my side. That’s an amazing feeling.)

  11. I loved every word of your wedding report, it pushed me over the line of “my wedding is ages away, what’s the point of planning now” to “I’m so excited to be getting married, I’m going to enjoy every minute of the planning” People can be mean and ugly and dark but that is there problem, it shouldn’t be yours. It makes me so sad to think of you making yourself ill over what they said……although I am often the one sitting in a corner having panic attacks and then feeling very silly when the boy says “why didn’t you just tell me???”

    I think me and the boy have been together long enough now (9 years this month) to realise that communication is key. All the stupid issues we’ve ever had have been through a lack of communication – but we are learning. We take the good with the bad and work through it all together – that’s what its all about, having someone by your side through it all.

    But I was still kinda hoping I would turn into a Stepford wife type with interesting things to discuss at the many dinner parties we’re sure to host 😉

    L xx

    PS – Printed off your advice and stuck it on my wall above my desk at work – every word of it rings true! 🙂 Keep doing what you do lovely x

  12. There have been a few occassions when you or Rebecca write something that just makes me feel a whole lot better, not just about ‘weddings’ but about life and the bigger stuff.

    Charlotte – if I can be frank, I might even be a little bit in awe of you. You have set up the best wedding blog (really it my absolute, number 1 favourite blog on the whole of huge interweb).

    The part you said “When you are at your lowest ebb, the chips are down and the road ahead looks bleak, you know you have someone there by your side. Always.” reminded me that perhaps I need to be a bit more open about this to my boy… let him know I am struggling really struggling with work and feel completely demotivated by what I do.
    As they say a problem shared is a problem halved.

    Thank you for making me feel a little more positive today… I really needed it! 🙂

  13. The internet is simultaneously brilliant and awful! And those trolls are only insecure and pathetic people…. but that doesn’t invalidate feeling hurt and upset by them when they pick YOU as a target.

    I sometimes wonder (sorry if this is a little tangential) whether getting married actually brings the claws out in general. I think this is a really good example – it doesn’t just happen on the internet, it happens in real life too, with family members or, sadly, people who you thought were your friends. Some people see an attractive/succesful/fill in whatever desirable attribute you like woman rolling towards a really joyful occassion, and they get their bitter hat on. Some of them might not even realise they are doing it.

    Anyway, it all boils down to exactly what Charlotte said – the only thing that really matters is you and your man. Having that security makes it easier to forget the haters and rise above it all! Good on you, C.

    (I’m still not sure I can entirely forgive the woman in the public bar at our wedding lunch venue who tutted loudly at what I was wearing and then laughed about it with her friends though – honestly!! Some people just love being mean….)

    Px

  14. I can’t believe that someone would do that…and James was and is right. They must lead empty and boring lives if they have to be so mean about someone as lovely as you {I have never met you but you sound lovely}.

    Your account of your day really helped me when planning my wedding and what you, Rebecca and Adam do on here is so important to so many people and appreciated by us all.

    Love the wedding advice…having only been married nearly six months so I am still new to the game but all I can say is although you may moan about his annoying habits, is it that hard to put something in the bin? You miss it when its gone.

    I love your advice Charlotte: ‘[h}ere’s to the gorgeous, the bad, the ugly and being (realistically) happily married.’ I think it is going to be my new mantra when everything isn’t quite as perfect as I would like.

    xxx

  15. sitting in the middle of an open plan office trying to stop the tears escaping!!!!

    Thank you for another brilliant and honest post! Still a year until I get married and I’ve been panicking over this and that, and you’ve reminded me about what’s important! xxx

  16. Charlotte,

    Having had the pleasure of meeting you twice, I will say without hesitation that you are ruddy lovely! Really sweet and friendly and a classy gal. And with Rebecca and Adam, you guys literally took the way I viewed my wedding, the most important day of my life and turned it 180 degrees!

    I remember being recommended your posts on YAYW by another engaged friend and when I saw how you hadn’t conformed and done things your way, I thought “well, if she can do it, so can I”. Also can I just say that those juicy lucy cards you had on your tables were mega cute!

    As for those people who started that awful other thread, I agree with you on the jealous and insecure front and with Anna K on the other front!!

    Thank you so much for giving ladies RMW, you definitely rock my world!

    Big Charlotte Lurve,
    Mahj xoxo

  17. Some people just get alot of pleasure out of making other people feel bad. This blog’s community is great because it’s positive and doesn’t knock people for wanting to do their thing, their way.

    I also loved your wedding report, it made me stop feeling like a bridezilla for actually enjoying the planning part! I love planning! There, I said it! I love planning and I’m proud!

  18. “there are just ugly people out there. And I’m not talking aesthetically. I mean those who get their rocks off from being well…. mean.”

    Never were truer words ever spoken. I find it unfathomable that people actually took the time and energy to sit there and create torn up photos of James, and went to such effort to articulate on-line such a vast amount of venomous bullsh*t. People who have nothing better to do with their lives than spread hate are seriously pitiable. And I truly feel sorry for them because it can only come from a lack of love, so kind of ironic really that they chose to take it out on a blog that really is all about love and how to celebrate it.

    Charlotte, the account of your wedding was absolutely fantastic. Beautifully written, full of wit, and incredible candid. I’ve read it at least 3 times from start to finish on these blue pages and still love it. The energy that you and Rebecca put into this blog is amazing.

    All I can say for those horrible people is….I bet they’ve never once been featured in Cosmo Bride or Elle magazine!! ;o) LONG LIVE ROCK MY WEDDING!!!

    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  19. I saw the thread – and I have to say Charlotte you handled it very well. I hope people think twice about the comments they make on the web – it’s easy to forget that behind avatars and cute nicknames there are real people. I’m sure the comments were motivated by jealousy so you should take it as a compliment. I certainly think very carefully before posting anything negative on forums – if you haven’t got anything nice to say, then keep schtum! I think weddings absoloutely bring out the worst in some people, in brides too, as they put themselves under enormous pressure to be perfect and worry that their wedding won’t match up to others they see.

  20. Okay, for those of you who don’t know already there often is a dark side to wedding forums. Trust me, I know. Having spent many a day on YAYW and other wedding forums it’s painful to see women turning on each other for reasons that can only be known to themselves.

    I vividly remember your wedding report Charlotte (and Rebecca’s too!) and, for what it’s worth, I loved it. Having also gotten married in May 2009 it was wonderful to share in someone else’s lovely newly-wed bubble as I was in my own little bubble at the same time.

    Since then it’s been a bit of bumpy road for the Mr and Me. We had a pretty rough time with family illness and bereavement and I know that we couldn’t and wouldn’t have been able to get through this without each other.

    “When you are at your lowest ebb, the chips are down and the road ahead looks bleak, you know you have someone there by your side. Always”…….I couldn’t have put it better myself.

    I still love reading Rock My Wedding even though it’s over 2 years since we got married. It gives me a bit of sunshine on the days when all I can see above is dark clouds. Keep on rocking yours and everyone else’s weddings – you are doing a fabulous job.

    xxx

  21. I can’t believe some people can be so mean and cruel, you’re absolutely right, sometimes people are jealous and well, some people are just selfish and mean.

    I also really love the positivity from this blog and your advice is spot on, what really matters is taking the good with the bad and knowing that when you’re on that rocky road, you’re travelling it together! My engagment hasn’t been quite how I’d have planned it in an ideal world but really, that doesn’t matter – what matters is that we tackled stuff together and we are definitely closer as a result and your post today has reminded me of that – thank you! x

  22. bloody hell does this blog/post/website still exist charlotte? just awful. (by that i mean the nasty website not this here lovely blog!)

    Ria x

  23. I wanted to just say that no matter what some cough*absolute losers*cough may have said in the past, RMW and it’s beautiful, intelligent, creative community inspires me every day. Catching up on the loveliness on these here blue polka dots pages often makes the bleak days seem a little bit more sunny!

    Charlotte, like so many other ladies on here, I really appreciate your frank, honest, wise and witty voice, you rock! 🙂

    xxxxx

  24. Thank you for an honest and moving post. It always amazes me how mean people can be, for purely jealous and pathetic reasons. Grrr! WHY post hurtful comments at all? What good can come of it?!
    I love reading your blog and this post is, as always, brilliant. Keep ’em coming! xx

  25. Wowzers, isn’t it funny how we perceive a situation and when you have another piece of the puzzle and it just makes you rethink it and see it from a different angle?

    To most people, we see this blog as something that’s lovely and inspiring (even if we are old marrieds) and I for one really look forward to logging in every day to read what’s going on. Now that I am an old married, I heart the “What the Wife Likes” posts as it’s nice to read someone else’s trial and tribulations and that it’s not just me that forgot to make the packed lunch this morning!

    But, I for one didn’t really think about what it’s like to completely pour your heart out online and not be able to hide behind a user name as people so often do. When I write comments on here, I find myself censoring what I write so that I sound what I want to sound like, rather than what I “do” sound like – if that makes sense. Even hidden behind a username I don’t want anyone to judge me.

    Reading this post, Charlotte has made me think that that’s a bit rubbish and that I should have the courage of my convictions. I don’t mean that I’m now going to say that I don’t like something that I might see on the weddings, because I’d hate to have that said about my wedding – but it does mean that I won’t necessarily use the longest word I can – I’m a South London girl and “ain’t” is in my dictionary!

    Reading Rebecca’s wedding report on YAYW (I missed Charlotte’s) was the trigger for me to really have the guts to do what I wanted to do and have the wedding that I wanted to have. It made me realise that I don’t have to confirm and that I can wear purple 5 inch shoes if I want to – and I ROCKED them!

    So, big-girl-power-courage-of-your-convictions love.

    Hols
    x

  26. Terrific post Charlotte; once again!
    Loving RMW for keeping it real and rising above the petty and immature negativity – hurrah! x
    [PS. Had me humming a Baz Luhrman soundtrack whilst reading your ‘pearls of wisdom’ at the end!]

  27. I think my grandma’s old adage which goes ‘if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all’ applies very strongly to blogs (where context can be lost and sensitivities run high) and to weddings. So that’s doubly true of weddings on blogs. Really, what is the point in being mean? Not everything is to everyone’s taste – that’s what stops us all having identikit weddings thank god – never criticise someone for having different taste.

    Poor you.

  28. As I was reading this (and trying not to cry!), the thought that kept flashing through my mind was that all of the advice the wise ladies on this site have given can be applied to relationships with everyone in our lives – family, friends and strangers alike.

    Respect, consideration, sharing and small kindnesses will lead not only to a happy marriage but hopefully a happy life where you can be at peace because you’ve been the best version of yourself (I apologise for sounding like a bad US chat show host, ha ha!).

  29. Hello you lovely lot.

    I have actually been nervous about this post all morning, it’s really difficult to balance being real and honest and at the same time not wanting to bring any negativity to RMW at all.

    I also wonder that when you have got over something it should be left alone, dead and buried.

    As it happens I’m really glad I did, your comments as always have been so kind and uplifting. Although that wasn’t what I was after, I wanted to make sure that as much as we sing from the rooftops about love and pretty and happy endings that we don’t make you feel that your life/relationship/wedding is below par. Everyone at some point in their lives suffers from a bumpy ride, the RMW Team are no different.

    Ria – to be quite honest I have no idea. I responded to the thread, not really with anything to say about the comments towards me (I didn’t feel the need, or see the point) but I did ask them to take down the image of James, and expressed the reasons why.

    They took the image down and that particular forum member apologised. A small triumph I felt.

    In general we’re pretty lucky, we hardly get any silly comments on RMW, although I do have a particular favourite…

    (On a bridal fashion post)

    “Who do you think you are? Tatler?”

    Mwah ha ha.

    Charlotte xxx

  30. Thanks for sharing Charlotte, I never read your actual report on the YYW website (read it on here instead) but stumbled across Rebecca’s later on and loved them both and always wished had read them way before I had planned most of our wedding.

    I used to love reading other brides wedding reports for tips and advice and even put my own on after we got married and I would have been devastated if someone had been so negative, I can’t believe that someone would start a whole thread, they clearly have nothing better going on in their lives to do that, whilst I didn’t always like what I saw on other threads, i.e. dresses, shoes or whatever I would never have dreamt of making a nasty comment, everyone has their own style and taste otherwise life would be very boring. I’m so glad you stuck to your guns and kept on with RMW, every day would be a little bit less sunny without it and well done to James on being such a wonderful husband and getting you through it, as always a fab post 🙂 x

  31. Hey,

    I found about you and RMW from that original thread – the forum/site prides itself on not being ‘fluffy’ and just this week had someone anon post ‘home truths’ for some of the posters who seem to enjoy being a bit bullying (it didn’t go down well as it was itself a bit mean – bad medicine and all that) I read the posts on that forum but have never commented or joined as it’s a forum that doesn’t seem to have a camaraderie feel to it.

    When I discovered this site and read your original post on YAYW I was blown away – by your beauty – by James’s gorgeousness – by the originality in your whole wedding – your amazing writing style – the whole ‘feel’ of your day and planning. I think both you and Rebecca have done an amazing job and it is posts like these that make me check in daily. Someone above said they were in awe and I agree, I have so many days where I feel the attack of the ‘mean reds’ and knowing someone as fab as you has feelings like this has helped me no end.

    How about a forum on this site, could that work?

    Keep up the great work and I will continue my girl crush!!

  32. It never ceases to amaze me how people have such a sad life that they take the time and effort to criticise and be mean or negative, Usually these are the same people who not only slag other people off but moan about their own lives too. I must admit to being a naturally optmistic person but sometimes other people’s negativity gets you down-that’s when it’s always good for your other half to put it into perspective for you and give you a well needed boost. I always think liberal use of the work bollocks works wonders 🙂

  33. Charlotte, firstly have to say how well you write, it is a talent you have! Secondly loved your interesting post, most blogs I just look at the pictures, yours I read too.
    Lots of best wishes
    Kirstie
    F&P

  34. Aww no, that is really awful but really glad you shared the story nevertheless.
    Mainly glad because I too have those thoughts of when I am married I want to be a grown up and do x,y,z to prove how wifey awesome I am. It’s good to know that its still real life, and you dont turn into some domestic godessy type as soon as the ring is on your finger. Now I wont beat myself up about it if a year down the line I still dont know how to cook (although I was hoping some miracle would actually make that happen).

    Kudos for telling them to take the pic down and for one of them apologising, it definately was a win on your part.
    It’s a lovely place RMW and you never feel anxious that someone is going to tear a strip off you for saying how you feel or being ‘different’ in your ideas.
    Its why I rarely post anywhere else because I am tres shallow in that peoples criticism (whether I know them or not) does actually really get me down when its about something I love. So I think you came out trumps from that whole nasty lot.

    Viva la RMW and Big ‘When I grow up I want to be Charlotte’ love xx

  35. Wow… what a shocking and quite moving post.

    Isn’t it sad that some poeple get off on bringing others down hey? (One word; KARMA).

    Isn’t it great that men quite simply do not ‘buy’ these bullying tactics, I love that about men, they simply laugh and shrug it off, a la James.

    Remember Charlotte the best form of revenge, (not that you covet revenge) is sucess and my god are you sucessful!

    x

    .

  36. A really well written piece Charlotte and I smiled at the typical man-style-slightly-blasé {but in this case oh so right} advice from the other half. There are some horrors on the Internet fuelled only by jealousy and bitterness but in this case I would say you got the last laugh 🙂
    x

  37. I’m not going to mince words: some people are just d*%ks. Sorry for the bluntness, but it has to be reiterated. I don’t know what people think gives them the right to be so venomous on websites. I think – as has been said – the anonymity of these modern forums gives people the false courage to be mercilessly abhorent and just plain nasty.

    I just loved James’ response to the incident and is obviously a wonderful example of what makes you two tick: no doubt there have been occasions when you’ve shed light and laughter on problems of his too. It seems to me to be the recipe for a pretty darn good marriage; the ability to hold a mirror up to your love one’s worries and woes and help them out the other side with a goofy smile on your face.

    As to your nervousness about the post – thanks for posting it. As you said, RMW is as much about life after wedding as the day itself. We all deserve a little solidarity and if today has proven anything its that we get it from our husbands, boyfriends and partners for sure, but also from our girlfriends. It is high time we all jumped on the RMW bandwagon of ‘solidarity in the sisterhood’ and applaud the wonderful gals who’ve put themselves out there and created something fantastic, rather than this nasty, nasty culture of women being negative about women.

    Things like RMW rock my world, and I’m sure I’m not alone in this! Thanks all you lovely ladies x

  38. Charlotte- whoever those people are – they are small minded, horrid people who don’t deserve your tears or worries! And as Marlene said – success is the best form of revenge!

    Long live RMW!!

    Big “I also want to be Charlotte when I grow up” Love

    xoxo

  39. Wow! what an article. Pretty please can I pinch some of your pearls of wisdom for when I write my own vows next year?

    I tell everyone I know about RMW, well done for shinning through! Linz xxx

  40. Another great post Charlotte, although I did get very cross (and felt quite protective) when I heard about the nastiness aimed at you and James. Why people find the need to tread on the dreams of others I have no idea.

    The world would be a whole heap better if there were more people like you, Rebecca and Adam (plus your gorgeous significant others’) and the RMW community we’ve got going on here. As has been said before, it’s really brave to bare your heart and soul every day and for those of us reading this blog, it’s the honesty, unpretentiousness and genuine affection that shines through in what you write.

    I’ll be honest, before RMW I was never really interested in blogs – of any kind. And it would never have crossed my mind to comment on a blog, for a whole host of reasons, but partly because of the fear that I wouldn’t write something cool enough, or that I would be misinterpreted or judged badly.

    Seriously, you guys have changed all that. RMW is the only blog I read. It’s so much more than *just* the wedding stuff (which is fab obviously) and I can’t think of anything I need that I would get from another blog. RMW is like the big sister I never had, on my wavelength, looking out for me and through posts like these, offering sound advice and dishing out support and love when the going gets tough – plus being super cool and gorgeous of course!! xxx

  41. I know I already posted but I can I also just echo what Cathy just said: RMW and your lovely ladies are the big sisters I never had. I feel like I can ask a question on here and not feel like I’m going to get one of those “oh she’s blonde, pay no attention to her” looks and feel like I’ve asked something stupid. The amount of support on here – both for each other and Rebecca, Charlotte & Adam is amazing.

    Oh and the gorgeous amounts of pretty help too!

    xoxo

  42. I love your honesty Charlotte. It’s refreshing and inspiring, and you definitely have nothing to worry about.

    People are just jealous. Plain and simple. It’s pathetic and childish, there really is no need for it and it really grinds my gears.

    I never realised how jealous some people could be until entering the world of wedding planning – I see bitchiness on other forums and blogs, and from people that I know and it’s just sad really.

    People need to take a reality check and take a step back and have a good think. The wedding is just one day – and no matter how you celebrate that day, it’s nothing to get jealous of… its how you live married life that counts.

    Oh, and it definitely sounds like you have a keeper in James, Charlotte!

    xoxo

  43. Keika,

    ‘Big “I also want to be Charlotte when I grow up” Love’

    Ha, ha, love it! Me too 😉

    PS: Another saying I love is ‘Those that judge you the most, know you the least’ – soo true!

    x

  44. Blimmin heck Charlotte, that is absolutely awful!!!

    I’m glad you got the kuta (get it?) you felt you needed, but that is just plain horrible- what nasty women. YAYW can be a mean dark place on the best day- sadly, with so many women in one place I think its almost inevitable. I’d already decided against writing a report there, confirmation is found!!!

    Anyway, just to prove the trolls wrong, look at RMW!!!! And look at what a brave, bold, honest and beautiful post you just wrote. To me, that’s far prettier than any romantic snapshots of the beautiful people- the truth about marriage that all of us are signing up to xxx

  45. I think this really makes you realise that beauty is not just what you look like but who you are how and how you treat others, all plays a part in what makes someone special.
    Good luck and I will now keep up with these posts

  46. I read RMW religiously (serious addiction problem)and hate to hear people putting you down. It’s hard enough writing in the comment box, let alone crafting a blog. I’m ever so glad you continued with RMW and hope my wedding might be up to scratch (15 day count down – blrg!).

  47. Sorry, what I mean is I’m glad you’ve taken it well and been so positive… doh! NOT that I’m glad people were so pathetic, dirty and mean to you- spineless cowardly bullies!!!

    Just reread by post and went……ooooops! I think I would have been a hysterical freak and hunted them all down and put dog poo through their letterboxes or something (that’s a revenge fantasty of my mum’s which is particularly fitting here, as thats what they were spouting) xxx

  48. Thanks Charlotte. Reading your post made me get everything in perspective. Between organising the big day, project managing our move to the North of England and dealing with a tricky boss at work, I was starting to lose my marbles. Your advice has made a huge difference at a challenging time. I will be a firm follower of RMW henceforth! X

  49. I can only echo what all the lovely ladies above have said,Im shocked and horrified that grown women would behave like that! You absolutely rock and your blog has been a haven for me over the past 2 years and I cant honestly imagine how I would of planned my wedding without you guys!
    Hugs xxxxxxxxx

  50. Well done for sharing. Whilst the wedding (and wedding blog and online) industry is generally a lovely place to be, there are some “uglies” who make it not so nice for the rest of us at times. I have had to overcome some adversities of my own but like you, I have come out the other side wondering how these people find the time to bitch and bully. Now I hold my head high, enjoy my newly wed life (my hubby doesn’t need to deal with online woes as well as real life problems!), write the very best wedding blog that I can, my way – not the way other people think it should be done, and only frequent those sites which have something positive to say. Yours is one of them.

    I have found that by takin this approach I am happier, my writing is better, my blog gets more hits and my sponsors are happier too!!

    Happy Wednesday! Love Julia xxx

  51. Just wanted to say I’m really loving the posts this week. Even though I’m a big fan of all the pretty I really like all these non weddingly posts too – they are the reason that I’m such a fan of RMW! It really differentiates you from the masses!Great writing Charlotte

    Rachie xo
    Oh and do not lose any sleep over the jealous nasties!! 🙂

  52. Hello!

    Just want to say that was an amazing post that had me in tears at my desk!

    Big thanks for continuing with RMW, I don’t think I’m the first to say that I don’t know what I would do without it and we really appreciate all that you go through to bring us the best!
    xx

  53. Charlotte,

    My only problem with your report is that as a result I now MUST have heart shaped confetti holders and I can’t find them ANYWHERE.

    There is a DIY Friday for you….

    You are a massive inspiration to brides everywhere and if it wasn’t for RMW I’d be having a wedding in a castle with cannons. CANNONS. Pah.

    Damn straight your day your way.

    I disagree with Anna K. I don’t think they are JUST spineless cowards, I think they are JEALOUS AS HELL.

    P.S. I think you are more like VOGUE

    x

  54. This blog is the only one I LOVE for one (main) reason- there seems to be an Anti-Bullying Policy to it that we all silently adhere to. Wish others would do the same.
    I echo the others and would like to say that in my next life I’m coming back as Charlotte O’Shea! xx

  55. I cannot believe that people would be so cruel! What sad lives they must lead to be so mean about people they dont even know! I LOVE this blog it has given me so much inspiration and excitement towards my own wedding in so many ways! I am so greatful to the RMW team for starting and keeping it going, I visit daily and am awed each time i do! 🙂

  56. Its’ it terrible that something so happy as weddings can turn into a nasty mean competition. Come on! What ever happened to celebrating other peoples happiness and being happy for them. We’re all different – we all like different things and as long as someone is happy the rest shouldn’t matter.

    That’s why I love RMW. It’s such a supportive community. Everyone respects each others differences and celebrates love and happiness not comeptitivness and meanness (yes they are words!LoL) However that community spirit hasn’t happened by accident. It has been you both that has created it and I hope you’re really proud of it all.

    I’m married now and settling into my first months of being a MRS and you know what it is a wee bit different but I can’t really put my finger on it. We love each other loads, really happy together but it isn’t always perfect all the time. If it was then would the bar be high enough?????

    Thanks for a lovely post. Big hugs and kisses to the vitual team that helped me put my wedding together – yes thats all of you!

  57. I second everything everybody has said above.
    Honest to God – without this blog, I wouldn’t have had a bloody clue about where to start with ideas for my wedding. I was told about it by my friend who had just gotten married and i thought – yeah yeah whatever, as if it’ll help. But help it did! I am getting married in September and i have loved reading about all the beautiful weddings that get posted on here. If my day is half as amazing as those on here look i will be thrilled.

    Weddings are funny things – i think they can often bring out the worst in people. I’ve certainly learnt that from the near collapse of my relationship with my mother (saved, strangely enough by a Jeremy Vine show on radio 2 about how weddings are tearing families apart – we both listened and called each other to say how sorry we were!) I’ve also realised who my friends are. I’ve been really let down by some people who i thought cared about me. But then isn’t it nice to know the people who do care and those who don’t – because at least you know where you stand. And i can be sure that on my big day in September, all of those who i love and who love me back will be there to cheer us on. And sod the rest.

    You girls are amazing and i thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the great blogs you post up here every day. They have, quite literally, saved me from sugared almonds and boring table plans. You ROCK!! xxxx

  58. Thanks for writing this Charlotte I know it must have been difficult. It never fails to amaze me how awful and spiteful some people can be and I do believe that weddings can bring out the best and the worst in some people and a lot of it is jealousy.
    I LOVE your wedding report I LOVE your writing and I LOVE this blog don’t ever change 🙂 xxx

  59. Charlotte Charlotte we all love you (and Rebecca and Adam bien sur) and your wisdom and bravery and style and goddamn ‘spit out a mouthful of tea cos i’m chuckling so much’ ability to makes us laugh… Or cry. Keep doing your thing girlfriend!

    Xxxxxxxxxxx

  60. Thank you Charlotte once again for your words of wisdom-I don’t know where I would be without them! My other half and I have been together for a very long time (13 years this week to be precise!!) and we have had some really dark times over the years. Don’t get me wrong-we have had some amazing times as well-but sadly, there have been many sad occasions that we would rather forget. When I look back on those times the one defining memory for me is that of my other half being there to support me through everything. I honestly do not know what I would have done without him. I often think-if he can stick with me through something like that then he can stick with me through anything!

    I was lucky enough to find RMW over a year ago now and I can honestly say that I do not know what I would do without it-it is my daily fix of all things lovely 

    I am im awe of everything you-and Rebecca and Adam-achieve on these blue polka dot pages and I want to say thank you for making me think outside the box where my own wedding is concerned!

    I think you are incredibly brave for sharing your story with all of us-but all you need to remember is that you have got the upper hand. Don’t let a bunch of mindless idiots get you down-I’ve been there and it’s not a good place to be.

    RMW rocks-and rules the interweb!!

    Xx

  61. Hi Girls,

    Thanks for all of your lovely comments, it is a triumph that out of something so pointless and pathetic we built such a positive and supportive community.

    That Tatler comment makes me laugh – Charlotte and I bring it up from time to time and laugh about it… it was actually written on my very first blog post, and as I remember it was also the very first negative comment to have been posted on the blog. I felt sick – like I’d let Charlotte down.

    Fortunately I’m not the retiring type, but we’ve both grown pretty thick skin since. There’s still the odd thing that gets through and hurts though.

    Once again, thanks for being here everyone and keeping us going.

    xoxo

  62. And now I’m blubbing at RMW. Again.
    My oh my, I had no idea that you guys had been though this in the begining, and I totally love the fact that you are able to look back on it and see the positives that came from it.
    The bit that really set me off was James’ reaction to it all. What a legend.
    As if our wedding wasn’t already full of ideas pinched from RMW brides, I’m tempted to print off your mariage advice, frame it, and put it next to our cake on the wedding day ;o)
    Lovelovelove xxx

  63. Hi Charlotte,

    I love your blog and wanted to share my thoughts.

    I’ve just started a wedding blog and have had nothing but negative comments from friends and family. I’ve had comments like.. is it a hoax? wishful thinking… is that you writing? … thats’s not actually you doing it is it?… isn’t that for people who are married… isn’t that supposed to be about you… that’s gay… as if you’re doing that that is so funny…

    Can make you feel very down but the reason that some people are negative towards new projects i think is either coz – they’re jealous, they just don’t get it, or they don’t like peope trying out new things.

    Luckily my lovely other half gets that I do a blog because – I love writing, I love finding new ideas, and it makes me HAPPY!

    Writing my blog helps take my mind off my very hectic and stressful ‘real life job’.

    What I’m trying to say is – ignore the ignorant and do what you love – your passion can change your life!

    Look how far you’ve come now Charlotte and what you’ve achieved. How fantastic is that!!

  64. People can be so mean….. But you have all made something so pretty, and lovely where we can all talk and be excited about wedding fantasticness! Those nasties are not even worth it! I love Rock My Wedding 🙂

  65. Wow ladies, I am completely and utterly overwhelmed. You really are the nicest group of brides on the interweb.

    😉

    To those of you who have suffered at the hands of bullies, on-line or otherwise, as awful as it is, I truly believe it just makes you more determined to be successful. More fool them.

    Rebecca emailed me a while ago, she said she felt “all warm and fuzzy inside” as a result of your positive comments on this post, I know exactly what she means. And RMW wouldn’t be half the success it is without our loyal and creative readership.

    I appreciate the time you have taken to leave us such lovely messages, each and very one of you.

    Oh and I just went to the hairdressers (roots are TRAGIC)…and the first magazine I picked up?

    Tatler.

    I burst out laughing in the middle of the salon, I think everyone thought I was nuts.

    Not nuts. Just happy. You guys MAKE ME happy.

    Charlotte xxx

  66. How chuffing dare they. It really really winds me up when people project their own lives issues and sheer pathetic outlook on others’ happiness. Yayw is unfortunately still the same – not the website but some of the users. Too many people ask for help being embarrassed, frustrated and lost to be ridiculed. Luckily there are some lovely people who are endlessly helpful but I couldn’t believe he negativity of some forum members. We are planning the happiest day of our lives!

    Good on u mrs O’Shea, you rebecca and Adam have given us a positive, loving website in which we can express ourselves freely and honestly without worrying about negative backlash. And thanks for the tips 🙂 love you lot long time xx

  67. Hey Charlotte

    Jealousy brings out the worst in people!! I think you’re an inspiration to us all … Something the individual who wrote those awful things about your blog will never be!

    I think what you have created with your blog is fantastic and I’m thoroughly addicted! It’s so lovely to see such beautiful, creative weddings and without you starting RMW where would we brides be?! This site gave me soooo many ideas for my wedding and really brought out my creative side!!

    Well done you! I think you’re brilliant!!

    C xx

  68. Hello Again lovelies

    I jut wanted to point out this unpleasant thread wasn’t YAYW, I never really had an issue with that forum and it was a great help to both Bek and I when planning – except for a few odd balls who went on about how my report was “very long” and that I was “advertising” RMW (um, don’t chuffing read it then!)

    Thanks again for your support and loyalty.

    Love ya.

    Charlotte xxx

  69. HI Charlotte

    LOVE this post i’m with Mr RMW bollocks to them

    There seems to be a lot snarling about but there are more then enough lovelies ready to stand up them

    Follow your bliss

    big hugs

    Mwah

    Orly x

  70. i havent visited any wedding forums despite being a daily visitor to blogs and im shocked that there would be sad mindless people on there that would say things like that. I’m glad rock my wedding has such a great community!

  71. I had a big long comment typed up, venting my anger at these people, but I’ve deleted it & just want to say this:

    You rock. Your James rocks. We all love you & never want to stop hearing your voice. (Rebecca & Adam also rock. As do all the RMW readers). You all make my marriage that little bit better with your advice & my days more fun with your pretty.

    Big “Charlotte O’Shea is a national treasure” love
    Sarah xx

  72. Sorry I didn’t mean the website either but those eejuts that can’t be supportive of others either. You’ve got a great thing here, thank you for letting us all share it x

  73. I find the majority of wedding forums really effin hideous, I do go on to read sometimes, but lately have been finding that the same old people just want to stir up arguments and bully others, then because they’ve been long term users, have all their online buddies stick up for them and make them out to be saints! And somehow an innocent person always gets made out to be the bad guy for trying to stick up for themselves against a barrage of abuse! Aaargh!

    RMW, erm, rocks! Don’t stop being who you are, the world would lose a lot of awesomeness. Also… James is a fittie! How could anyone be mean about him?!

  74. Charlotte I think you hit the nail on the head when you said the ill-will was caused by jealousy, but that doesn’t make it any easier to deal with. You, Rebecca and RMW had a very big hand in making our wedding so utterly special, and it’s obvious to me that for every petty naysayer out there, there’s a super-grateful bride who couldn’t have done it without your sassy ‘love froms’ and a daily dose of the pale blue polka dots.

  75. I never read blogs until someone recommended RMW to me. It’s like my wedding buddy (similar idea to a gym buddy) and I love that not only is there loads of inspiration on here for my own wedding (three months tomorrow…eek) but that all of the lovely posts themselves (not to mention the comments on the posts) always make me feel better about the wedding planning (and life in general). It’s pathetic that there are some people out there who feel the need to make negative comments (and how they found anything negative to say about Charlotte’s wedding report is beyond me)…..but in the end I think they’re the ones who end up missing out!

    Love of ‘Don’t know what I’d do without RMW” Love xx

  76. With 16 days to go, I am certainly one of those ‘super-grateful’ brides as Gemma says. I would definitely not be as excited about impending W-day had it not been for all the inspiration and support on these very pages, they have helped me really get into planning, crafting and making the day properly special for us – I absolutely cannot wait to see it all come together and get to marry my boy! But it’s also posts like this that make me think – I just can’t wait to BE MARRIED!!!

    Big hugs and gratitude for RMW!!
    x

  77. Good Morning all
    I just wanted to say from the group of (I’m sure there are more of you out there?) avid readers but nervous commenters that all of the above, Charlotte your fantastic post and the fantastic comments are really just so moving.
    I love that, even though I rarely contribute (read – have done once before), I still feel like a part of this fantastic community of kind and good people who will rally like this to support each other! I thought it was about time I spoke up and said how wonderful RMW is and how much I admire the three of you for sticking your necks out, baring all and for creating this wonderful place for us all!!
    THANKS YOUSSS GUYSSS
    x x x

  78. Like a few of the ladies have already commented, I’ve dipped my toe into a few other blogs and forums, but RMW is the only one I visit day after day. Part of it is reading other brides’ comments & feeling like part of a really cool, really supportive community; part of it is that every post is full of freaking gorgeous pretty that just blows my mind; but another, huge part of it is that I feel like you fabulous lot at RMW would get me. I feel like if I were to share my planning woes & creative highs with you, I’d be met with enthusiasm & excitement rather than scorn. I consider myself a little shy & I’m not usually the kind who would comment online, but this place you have built is so positive and awesome, I can’t help but want to be involved. I love RMW. I don’t think my wedding would be shaping up the way it is without you guys. I think anyone trying to tear you down would be doing so because they could see in those reports your potential for greatness & some people just can’t handle that. I know this comment is a day late, but I just had to share the love. Long live Rock My Wedding!

  79. About 3 months ago, just 4 weeks before our first wedding anniversary, I had a brain haemorrhage. My parents were in pieces and my brother held back the tears when he came to see me in hospital but the husband, he never reacted; he just came to visit me everyday, twice a day if he could. He brought me clean PJs and magazines that he thought I might like, he’d sit with me quietly and hold my hand.

    When I came out of hospital I was scared, I was scared that I had this little clot in my brain and it could cause the same thing to happen again. I lay in bed each night too frightened to go to sleep; one night the whole of my left side was numb (typical of a sensory seizure) and I woke him up. “Don’t worry” he said and put his arm over me “But just wake me up if you need me.” CHARMING! I was not impressed. Something really serious had happened to me and he had never got upset or angry or … well anything really.

    Then about 2 weeks ago we bumped into someone locally and she promptly started shouting at me. Shouting at me because she’d heard that I had expressed my opinion on a particular topic and she didn’t like it. She called me names. She said what I had said was all in my head. The thing I am most mad about now is that I believed her: I must have got this all wrong. She made me feel tiny and insignificant and I couldn’t say anything. The husband could though, he told that lady exactly why I had said what I did, that it had entirely been based on fact, that we were all allowed to express our own opinions and that I respected her opinion so wouldn’t she respect mine. I have never had anyone stick up for me quite like that. And then it hit me, he has been there for me every minute of every day: quietly sitting next to me holding my hand, keeping calm for me, making sure I had everything I needed. He was the one who literally caught me when the haemorrhage struck and stopped me from falling through the coffee table. That’s it I suppose: being married is not about the dramatic outbursts or big romantic grand gestures (although they’re a nice treat…!) it’s about really being together, being a family for each other.

    Charlotte – your words really hit home with me. It really hurts when someone knocks you, knocks what you think is the right thing but it feels so much better when someone supports you and loves you for what you think. I LOVE RMW and, although I’ve never commented before, 14 months after getting married I look at everyday because for me the wedding day is the opportunity to say “this is who we are” and RMW epitomises that for me.

  80. Ahh Charlotte, I am one of your more quiet readers admiring from afar, and only post when I feel absoultely compelled to do so. And today is one of those times. I can’t believe people would be so malicious and nasty, they are simply bitter and twisted and oh so wrong! The success of your blog is testament to that. Keep doing what your doing, I personally love it and followed you over from YAYW onto these very pages.

    I am loving married week, as a recent newly-wed (6 weeks eek!) this is perfect timing and such a refreshing read!
    Thank-you for creating such a bloody fantastic blog!!!! X x

  81. Oh Charlotte!

    I’m ashamed to say I am a member of that website where all those nasty comments came from. I couldn’t believe it then and I still can’t believe it now. Your wedding was beautiful and I love reading this blog! (thanks to you i’ve found an invitations set similar to yours and am thinking of using hydrangeas as flowers)

    I’m going to apologise for the behaviour of all those women, because i’m ashamed of them. And i’m sorry for what it did to you. Its nice to know you’ve made it through two years of marriage though 🙂 Good luck for the next 60 PLUS years x

  82. I remember stumbling across your posts on YAYW and being instantly hooked. I loved reading about the build up to your wedding and how you chose every aspect. Then reading all about your day, and loving all the photos.
    And I also remember the comments on the other website, as like E I am also a member. Unfortunately, that site has its fair share of people like that.
    But you’re right, it’s mostly down to jealousy. Your wedding report was bloody fantastic, as is RMW, so just you remember that! Those women go through life turning their noses up and sneering at things. That’s their look out!
    Keep doing what you’re doing <3 xxx

  83. Charlotte,

    Haven’t been on here much since I got married last year but wanted to say I saw the yucky thread you are talking about. I’ve been a member of THAT forum for some time and can I just say yes, there were some absolutely horrid and uncalled for things said to you. A lot of members on there (including me) loved your report & took a lot of inspiration from it. It is just sad that a lot of idiots felt the need to make you feel awful because of their own deep seated insecurities.

    I was bullied for over ten years and have suffered hugely as a result so to read how you suffered really upset me.

    You are now a success and inspiring others in this bubble we call wedding planning. Keep your pecker up and ignore the chumps!

    A x

  84. E, B and Alex D (that’s like a song or something…)

    Thanks for your comments, I had actually never come across the other forum before I was told about that particular thread. I’ve only been on there once since as I recall, it was another thread about RMW labelling us (The RMW Team) “idiots” ( I won’t go into it, it’s not worth your or my time!) and interestingly there were industry suppliers involved as well as brides. I find that astounding. Really bizarre.

    I’m sure there are lots of lovely people like yourselves to balance out the bitchiness, it’s just a shame that young women feel the need to be so cruel to others. How do they sleep at night? Anyway, thanks for your honesty and support 😉

    Amy – What a heart wrenching story, you’ve got a good husband there, lots of love and bet wishes for the future pet.

    Charlotte xxx

  85. Such an honest post with some absolutely fantastic advice! Usually I like to read all the comments before posting but there’s 92!!! 🙂 Everyone reading was obviously as touched as I was by your words – so sorry if I repeat anything. You, your story & your writing style all rock ~ thank goodness you carried on writing about your wedding experiences & Rock My Wedding was born ~ the wedding blog world is a much better, more honest and open place with you guys in it! xx

  86. Hi, Adam here.

    Long time reader… 1st time commenter;)

    Just thought I’d say thanks for the HUGE love – I’m claiming at least 1/3 of it as rightfully mine 😉

    hidden motives?… (maybe) it would be nice to see an RMW post with 100 comments 😉

    …seriously though, I’m glad that so many of you find a little bit of guidance in these polka dotted pages…. I’m sure that R, C and I would now be more than a little bit lost without them too!

  87. ok so im totally late to the party on this and don’t really have anything to say that hasn’t already been said but when has that ever stopped me putting my two pence in?!

    rmw and your readers are truly a bunch of kind, considerate, inspiring, friendly, brilliantly wonderful people and i’m glad that i ‘know’ them, every single day there’s something funny or thought provoking or beautiful to read and look at and i wouldn’t have it any other way.

    you stay classy rmw

    mrs r.now x x x

    sorry, couldn’t resist it, i know you all love a bit of ron burgandy

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