What Alex Did… Had A Bit Of A Rant!

Hello you gorgeous people, it’s me again with my second post already…can I have the past month back please, I have done nothing productive since my last post!

Being that wedding planning has been a bit on the slow side this month; I have decided therefore to chat to you about my feelings of being engaged and my loved ones who will be my super special guests at the wedding.

Time after time.

We got engaged a year ago on the 20th November, so coming up to a year pretty soon, and when that day comes around it will be just a mere three months until the big day (well, three months and five days to be all Monica about it). Crikey! We knew we were going to get married probably about a month into our relationship, and we have since said probably at least once daily how much we can’t wait to be husband and wife. When he proposed we had been together about 18 months, not very long by some people’s standards but why wait when you know it’s what you have wanted all along. However I have found that a lot of people have an opinion on other people’s relationships and even more so when it comes to marriage! A whole lot of people (I mean mostly women too) have felt the need to say “ Well you’re still in the honeymoon period aren’t you, when you have been together 5,6,10,15,20 years (yes these are all time frames that have been quoted to me) you don’t feel as soppy and as excited about being married/spending time together. Oh and the ones that have said “You’re counting the days until the wedding?! Have you ever seen people counting the days since the wedding?” “You will have to have a new project once the wedding is over, what you will do with your time, you will have post wedding blues!” WHAT IS YOUR POINT EXACTLY?!

I am twenty seven years old, an adult then in most countries I presume, so why would I not be able to make sound decisions about my future? I spent seven years in a relationship before; I didn’t marry him, so therefore if I felt certain that Mr M is the one a few weeks in (or more or less straight away) then I am pretty sure I am doing the right thing. Seriously, people need to think before they speak! Is there an acceptable amount of time for people to think its ok to get married, did I miss that? And when can you say that the honeymoon period is over? I am all fingers crossed that I feel the way I do now about Mr M the rest of my life, that’s why I am marrying him no? I am a pretty sensible person, I don’t make rash decisions…you should see me in Topshop/make up counters (seriously, hours!) I know it’s not all plain sailing and what have you, we have lived together just as long as we have been together…we know it works well. And you know, you can be together as long as you like pre-marriage…if it isn’t going to work out then it just won’t work out, marriage or not.

The skin you’re in (with a bit of help)

On a brighter note, (I realise it sounds a bit morky that first bit, I won’t be all surly for the full post or anything) and literally it is brighter…my skin! I have been for the first of three skin sessions, they involve micro-dermabrasion and a peel and make your skin all fresh and smooth and lovely.

I am thinking this could turn into an obsession; I am paranoid about ageing as it is without going to somewhere a bit like a restaurant for your skin where you can order almost anything off the menu…and come out looking better! So with a bit of luck (and a fair bit of money, I won’t lie) I will be all glowy and dewy without the side order of oily come the big day!

I suffer with dry/sensitive skin prone to a bit of flaking and let’s face it; the only flakes I want to see come wedding day are the yummy chocolate kind for my breakfast (It’s allowed on wedding day, the diet relaxes for a couple of weeks)!

Here come the V.I.P.’s (sang in “men in black” tune)

Now to talk about a couple of special guests at our wedding, you will be seeing them once the photos are up on these lovely polka dot pages so I thought I would introduce them now.

My mutti first of all who is hands down just the bestest mum in the whole world (I realise everyone says this about their own). My mum and I go way back (like you do) and she practically brought me up all aloney on her owney in a strange land. This is because my dad moved us to France to live when I was seven; he always worked away anyway (and subsequently played away, made a new family and buggered off to live with them!) I loved my life in France, horse riding on the beach, everybody says “Bonjour” to everybody, cheese and baguette every day…bliss! However, my mum had no friends, no language skills, no car and no husband there, for seven years. My sisters were grown up and lived in England (visited when they could obviously), and so did my dad. So it was her and me for the biggest part. And then dad declared his other life and woman and we moved back to blighty. How she coped with all this I have no idea, she is like superwoman or something! So it has always been us two, us against the world, and now I have ended up living next door to her! Haha, she will never get rid of me you see!

I adore this woman; she is one of my best friends and mum/dad all rolled into one. She listens like nobody else, she never asks for anything (well, not much), she can sew on a button or two and is the most awesome stain remover lady ever! When my sisters me and mutti are together…we do little else other than laugh, mainly at her, but still they are the best family you could wish for. And they are pretty much the only family I have, I do still keep in touch with my dad and he will probably give me away…and then go. My mum will be doing the speech instead of him and my middle sister is also doing one as she is my best friend and knows everything about me, I am going to ask my other sister (equally awesome but lives away) to do a reading. So my mum will be the one in the photos mostly crying, she cried just going to a wedding event, and mostly beaming from ear to ear. My sisters (obviously they are V.I.P.’s too as are my nieces and nephews) and me will be the ones laughing hysterically at something stupid my mum probably just said or did (I will also be wearing a white dress too if that helps)!

The only other family I have coming on my side are my godparents and their children and partners (cousins of sorts). The only difference from other family is that they are not actually blood relatives, but that really makes no difference to us. My auntie is my mum’s best friend, they have been friends for sixty years (my mum would like me to point out they are sixty four…not ninety or anything) and have been a huge part of my life.

When we lived in France they came every summer, and we alternated with Christmases/new years, one year in England one in France. We had the best times and the most raucous home videos you could ever imagine; seriously they once made up a mock Rovers Return in the kitchen complete with bar pumps and everything, and then donned outfits/accents of the biggest characters!

I was only a mere nipper at this point and can remember laughing my socks off at them all, a bit too young to realise they were pretty drunk at the time (Don’t tell the press)! We had bouncy castle competitions, abusive hand puppets, and karaoke nights that are legendary.

They are my family, and I do have blood family on my mum’s side but I have not got that much of a bond with them and don’t see them very often, and luckily my mum totally understands this and has made no issue of it.

So they are my guests of honour and I can’t wait for you to see them in the photos of our day now you know a little more about them and why they are so special to me.

I hope you lovelies enjoyed this and don’t hold it against me that it wasn’t filled with wedding planning, by the time the next post comes round there should be much more on that front to fill you in on!

I will leave you with yet another photo of my chocolate bear, this time along with my amazing Mr M.

Lots of love, Alex xx

Author: Adam Crohill
Adam likes Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

19 thoughts on “What Alex Did… Had A Bit Of A Rant!

  1. Awww what a lovely post – it’s really nice finding out a bit more about you and your background! After all, a wedding’s not just one day, it is all about two people from different worlds coming together to form their own new world so it’s good to read about non-wedding-y things sometimes!

    Your mum sounds like an absolute star!!!! 🙂


  2. Wow – your Mam’s a trooper!!

    But love the post. I actually laughed as I read it because I got the “how long are you going out!” comments from the other direction. My guy and I have dated for 13 years and for most of the way along I got a lot of random (and not polite!) questions about why we were not engaged, what we were waiting for, biological clock ticking etc (why do people think it is ok to comment!?!). And then the kicker is, when we got engaged people asked, if we just doing it because we hit 30 and it’s the thing to do right now, ya’know -recession and all!!! Can you believe it!!! Seriously, some people! sheesh!

  3. One of my fav things about rmw is the girly chat, its nice amongst all the pretty and detail to read about the real life side. funny and lovely post Alex x

  4. Ahhh your mum sounds like a ledge. It is nice that you have such a close relationship. I too like the background info, the bit the wedding photos can’t portray. Great post alex. P.S. can I please smuggle your dog away, I heart him! xx

  5. Ugh, I know exactly what you mean.

    My boy and I have been together around 18 months (ahem, not yet officially engaged, so I probably won’t mention to him that I read this amazingly lovely blog…), but have discussed marriage on many an occasion. We have both been in previous long term relationships that didn’t work out, my parents divorced when I was 16 in a particularly yucky way and on top of all of that I am now a family lawyer, so I know my stuff when it comes to whether or not a relationship is going to work.

    Yet when I mentioned to a very old, close friend the other day that marriage had been discussed her immediate reaction was to scoff at how soon it was and ask me if I’d thought it through properly. Let me tell you, I am queen of over-thinking and well, I’m in my relationship and you aren’t so I think I’m pretty well qualified to make that judgment thank you very much! I’m sure she meant well, but it really made me wonder if she knew me at all.

    We’re about to move in together and you know, whether he proposes tomorrow or in a year doesn’t really matter to me, because I know that’s where we’re heading and for now that is all the security I need. I KNOW this is it for me and I KNOW it will work out. So, well meaning aside, I do think people should consider what they’re about to say before they say it!

    So, er, this turned in to a bit of an essay, sorry! Just I feel so strongly about this subject and you put it so very well! Looking forward to reading your future posts and I promise I won’t write you an essay comment for each one!!

  6. Hey ladies, I am so glad you didn’t mind the lack of wedding talk in this post. It has been a slow burner of one, but I am a bit of a nosy mare and love finding out more about people etc so thought I would share.

    My mum is a little superstar…if a little bit spesh haha.

    Love the essay replies and love the love for the brown bear…as does she!

  7. Ahhh Alex, I love a good rant so you go on right ahead!

    I too have been the subject of many many comments about my relationship … here are some of the many outrageous ones I’ve had:
    – don’t you think you’re too old to get married? (err no)
    – you’ve been married before though haven’t you? (err yes but your point is … ?)
    – you both have kids from previous relationships, won’t that be a problem? (err, no and don’t you think we might have already met and discussed our parental responsibilities before deciding to get married?!)
    – you haven’t been together very long tho … (well if you don’t count almost 3 years as ‘very long’ then no I guess not, but we were friends for 12 years before that, so we do know quite a bit about each other actually!)

    and my personal favourite (and also the one that gets trotted out the most) ….
    “Haven’t you done well for yourself, you know … going from being a single parent and everything, to, well, having a guy who earns enough money to afford for you not to work and can buy a new house for you all to live in and go on nice holidays too” … hmm yes I am the first to acknowledge that my life has changed and I’m in a very fortunate position compared to being a single parent BUT I would love him and be with him even if it meant sharing a 1 bed flat with him and the kids because THAT’S WHAT LOVE IS ! Nothing to do with money and nice holidays!! GRRR

    Haha anyway this has turned into my own personal rant, but I think you’ve hit on a very pertinent topic my love!

    Your mum sounds like a total star, I wish I had that kind of relationship with my mum – do you hire your mum out on a surrogate basis by any chance?! And your doggie is a cutie pie …. gratuitous pics of my new baby puppy will follow in my post next week 🙂

  8. Ha yes, the ‘how long have you been together’ question is one of my favourites. Seems that people think you either haven’t been together long enough (ONLY 3 years?!?!) or you have been together way too long and should get on with it (ALREADY 3 years???), it really cracks me up.

    I do sometimes wonder why people are so obsessed with timelines when it comes to relationships! You have to have THE CHAT after 3 months, you have to have moved in together after 2 years, you have to have lived together at least 2 years before you get engaged and 5 years seems to be the accepted time-point at which one is allowed to get married.

    If people put that much thought and effort into their own relationships rather than worrying about yours/ours… imagine! 😉

  9. Lovely post Alex. Nice to hear more about you 🙂 I’m almost opposite! We’ll have been together for 9 & 1/2 years when we get married! (we were only 19 when we met) so we had for a couple of years ‘oh you’ll be next’ or even ‘when you going to get married’…. And now we are, well comments on ‘shouldn’t you buy a house first’. It is a universal fact that EVERYONE has an opinion!! But you know what, f.ck ’em! Mr C says to me (whenever I feel particuarly down about other peoples opinions) ‘it’s me & you against the world baby’ (this is followed by a gangster fist bump) 😉

    Oh I just twaddled on then: been at work since 7.30 and got back home at 9 (with a bit of step aerobics thrown in) I think it’s time to switch off 😉

  10. I’ve been with Pete nearly four years and the honeymoon’s not over yet. It keeps getting better and better.

    Great post. When people try to give your their two cents worth, try this:



  11. Really good post, looking forward to hearing more from you Alex!
    I have a similar-ish situation regarding parents – am thinking mum walking down the aisle as I am more hers to give and then dad doing a speech along as well as one by my wonderful sis but going to see how things go as have still got just under a year to go til W day – need to remember its my day and should have who i want doing what i want but as we all know never is that simple! xx xx

  12. Loving this Miss Alex. So nice to hear more about the lives behind the wives…ooh I LIKE that!

    People will always have an opinion on weddings. Particularly people who’s opinion you couldn’t care less about I’ve found. I’m now at the ‘I don’t care what you think, this is what WE want’ stage…and now I’m there I do feel so much calmer!

    Rachel xx

  13. Great post Alex, it appears we are living quite similar boy story’s Darren and I met nearly two years ago but got engaged at 18months!
    I have to admit that I used to be one of those people saying what you’ve only been together a year! But I’d never been in Love so what did I know.
    So when people ask questions think that it’s because they don’t feel love and ‘it’s meant to be’ thing themselves therefore how could they ever understand, I certainly couldn’t until it happened to me!
    But luckily I’m one of those mouthy people that other people don’t tend to question. So I haven’t had many comments, I think there to scared and so they should be! Don’t mess with a bride-to-be and her hubby-to-be it’s dangerous!!!!
    (maybe thats a good t-shirt idea!)

  14. Alex- All sound’s just perfect to me and I wish you and all your special People lots of love and happiness.x

    And as for Peoples so called right to comment on your relationship well…………Me and my Partner have been together for 14 years since we were 19, we have 2 children 8 & 5 and have lived together since our 2nd year in the relationship.

    As you can imagine People question ‘why change it if it works’? along with ‘why now’ and ‘about time’!
    We are (I smile every time I say this) finally geting married next March and it just feels the the right time in or very young relationship (if you consider there could be another 50 odd years to go) to complete the bond between us. Life is good the Kids are easier, i’m back at work and also the Kids can enjoy the with us Day when I recieve the same name as them!! Oh and Mummy gets to dress up as a Princess……

    Your Mum is………………..a darling.x


  15. Alex-I loved reading this post and totally understand your frustration at peoples comments. I myself was in a long relationship that was clearly not destined for marraige or babies..however I have met my Mr right although we have only been together a year and are not married (yet)!!we are expecting our first child together soon. So I say you just know when its right and no amount of time will change that!
    Wishing you lots of luck on your fabulous day…it was lovely to read such an honest post.

  16. You are all amazing and love hearing all your stories!

    Thank you so much for commenting and sharing, I can’t wait for you to see the pics of them on the day now! EEeek!


  17. Alex, I totally got where you were coming from with other people’s opinions on your relationship being too short. I came up against a bit of that at first with my husband, admittedly around our moving in together after 3 months rather than our wedding (which he made me wait 4 years for, the big meanie!).

    I just wanted to say – I would like you to be able to use me as an example of someone who counts down the days since our wedding! Being married is awesome, and I’m so happy every time we pass another month-a-versary of being man and wife. (3 so far!) The wedding IS something to look forward to, but so is being married – it’s why we all go through this stress, and it is totally worth it. xx

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