What Jenny Did…..Why I’m Looking Forward To Being Married.

*Hi there Lovelies, Charlotte here. I just wanted to say that I love Jen’s writing – I often laugh out loud whilst formatting the posts! …..but this particular piece is my favourite so far. Real, honest and tug-at-your-heart-strings beautiful. Hankies at the ready folks.

Why I’m Looking Forward To Being Married

I’m not sure when it happened. I suspect it was when Mr O was down on bended knee proposing to me, when time slowed down and my surroundings had that blurry yet crystal clear ‘Matrix’ effect going on. I think it was that point, and that point alone that I considered life as a married couple.

I guess I had always known I would be with him, for as long as our relationship lasted. Sounds pessimistic but growing up in a single parent family only prepares you for independence and to be competent at being on your own. Who needs men eh? So marriage was never talked about, time frames were never talked about, we both share a love of travel, music, films, books, politics and our lives were happily intertwined. We had a good thing going and although time together hadn’t always been roses our relationship was tested on many occasions and we always managed to stay close and stay together. That’s life! Anyone who claims being in a relationship is easy sailing, is a big fat fibber. Life throws things at you and if you come out of it the other side able to heal and move on you know your relationship is very grounded. I never applied any pressure on him to make an honest woman of me, we were happy the way we were. I didn’t want to be one of those women who manipulated their man into getting wed. So when he produced a ring, and a speech, and the seed of marriage was planted on my finger and in my head, I embarked upon a journey of change and felt absolutely thrilled at the prospect of becoming a proper partnership with someone who I feel is my equal.

Love is a state of mind that comes from time and experience together. It isn’t being ‘in love’ that makes me want to marry Mr O, Ok so that has a huge influence on why I am doing it, but it’s what happens after you fall in love that makes a marriage. It’s the partnership, the friendship, the ability to know each other well enough to support each other through lifes ups and downs. He still makes me laugh, until my ribs hurt. He still tells me the same old stories and I still love hearing them. He knows which buttons to press to get me really riled, we keep each other very grounded. He encourages me to do things with my life, like when I sang in my favourite ska/reggae band 20 Dead Camels, he told me that because I knew all the songs already I could sing them in the band no probs – it would be great fun, and it was great fun I can’t believe I had the bottle to do it! He encouraged me to go bankrupt because despite working two jobs I was in dire straights when I met him and you know you’re in trouble when you can’t even afford the bus to work every day, let alone run my car. Best decision I ever made that was. He encouraged me to start my blog because he knew how much I loved to write, and he encouraged me to become a make up artist because that is what I am good at. He supported me when I had to care for my Mum when she was terminally ill. He put a roof over my head and food in my tummy when I was too depressed to function like a normal human being. He met me for lunch every day when I started my new job in London, because I didn’t have any friends there yet and I was nervous. We jump around at festivals and get totally mullered together, we travel and see the world together, because that’s what we like to do. When I think about ‘us’ I feel like it’s the greatest love story there ever was….. But then, I can imagine we all feel that way about our relationships.

We’ve worked hard to get where we are today, we’ve (almost) got the perfect life, and the perfect home. We make a great team and for that reason I can’t wait to say I do and become Mrs Oatham!

Love

Jenny xx
(photo courtesy of Me)

**in case new readers are wondering why the random photo of the Taj Mahal, see my first What Jenny Did post here, should clear things up a bit

Author: Charlotte O’Shea
Purveyor of short shorts. Make-up junkie. Hopes to grow old disgracefully.

29 thoughts on “What Jenny Did…..Why I’m Looking Forward To Being Married.

  1. This is beautiful, Jenny. I think with all the planning you have to do for a wedding the actual heart of why you’re getting married can get a bit buried under other things – so it’s really nice to read about it from that point of view. And being married rocks – as much as the wedding will be an utterly fantastic day, it’s the other side (ie being married) that really makes it worth all the effort – you guys are going to have such a great life! x

  2. Lovely!

    I’m getting married about the same time as you (Sept 11th) and i had a moment like this last night.

    Went to the pub with h2b, we sat and talked the future. He said “it’s crazy to think that a year today we’ll be looking forward to celebrating our first year as a married couple” and from there we talked children and what we wanted to do over the next year and where we thought we’d be in a year, 5years, 10 years time. It made me so happy, and even more excited to become Mrs Airey, and i know that he is looking forward to it just as much as i am.

    Good luck Jenny, have thoroughly enjoyed every single one of your posts, because i have often sat there thinking about something and then logged on to RMW and there you are talking about exactly the same thing. I hope your wedding and marriage are fabulous

    Rachel xx

  3. Jenny!! What a beautiful, moving and truthful post!
    I have loved all your post’s on here and have been reading your blog daily too.
    Cannot wait to see your Big Day pics & blogs – All the luck & love in the world to you and the future Mr!
    x

  4. I am going to be late for work… but that was sooo worth it.

    I woke up feeling rather loved up this morning, after reading that post I just want to run and find G and explode love and happiness all over him.
    Jenny it’s obvious from your posts your going to have a very rockin wedding and a spectacular marriage.
    Thank you for making me realise that I will too. xo

  5. Oh Jenny, you always manage to put into words so eloquently everything that we’re all thinking…The marriage thing sometimes get sidetracked by the wedding thing, so it’s so great to be reminded why we’re all doing it.

    Big kisses, and squeals of excitement at your wedding being so close now!

    Mwah

    Fliss xx

  6. Sniff, sniff. This has just made me well up at my desk. Am trying to dab away inconspicuously…that was one of the loveliest things I have ever read. xx

  7. Romance and deep down in the pit of your belly Love is the best.
    I’m reading back to back Twilight Saga (done an hours worth before work already today) pure made for each other love at it’s best, followed up by this lovely post…
    makes me one happy and gooey loving love person today. Ah, bliss.

  8. Ah lovely! You will just so love being hitched…being a wifey is the best thing that has ever happened to me! I loved planning my wedding, and there are times I look on here and I miss some of it, but wouldn’t rewind even if I could because then I wouldn’t have had the past eight months and I wouldn’t swap them for the world!

  9. That was gorgeous Jen and totally sums the pair of you up.
    I can’t wait until your wedding day, Its going to be more beautiful than even you can put into words!

    xxx

  10. Oh Jenny, thats a lovely post to start the day with. While the ‘wedding’ part of getting wed delights and excites me – being a Mrs is the part I am most looking forward to. Its a whole new delicious adventure that I cant wait to share with my gorgeous future husband.

  11. Amazing and so honest!

    You made me think about married life and what a wonderful “thing” it is- what it involves to be two to work out how to live as a team.

    all the best with the last few weeks of planning and to be Miss Palmer. Speak to you when you are Mrs Oatham 🙂

  12. Hi Jen, what a beautifully written post 🙂 totally reflects what I feel about my hubby and I but I certainly couldn’t have written it down as eloquently!! Can’t wait to hear about the Big Day and see your photos, I’m sure it will be a fabulous day! Good luck with all the last minute planning x

  13. I feel really silly sitting home alone with tears filling up in my eyes……..those words are honest and beautiful! xx

  14. Reading something like this makes me so happy! I have been happily married for an entire 6 weeks, but in the 4 years that Tom and I dated we definitely had our challenges and I was always happy to talk about this openly with friends. I hate it when people sugar coat things – relationships take work and effort and the more people hide this fact, the more couples become disappointed when they hit a rocky patch themselves. Relationships are all about love, mutual respect, friendship and trust – but also support, understanding, forgiveness and tolerance (within reason, of course!). I love my husband so much, too much sometimes I think, but that doesn’t mean life is always perfect. Enjoy all the wedding prep ladies – it is the most exciting and wonderful time x

  15. Wow amazing feedback from you all, my ego gets massaged every time I read the kind comments you leave me! I really love to write for RMW, such a wonderful community we have here!

    Love to you all

    Jenny xx

  16. So lovely to hear such an honest portrait of a love story! You sound like the perfect match for one another and I wish you a lifetime of happiness together!!

    Can’t wait to see the wedding!! Eeek 😀 xx

  17. Just gorgeous! I did have tear in my eye after reading that. I wish you all the very best of luck for your big day. Married life IS all it’s cracked up to be (even only 2 months in) and as our priest said to us on our big day – ‘if you want to get ahead in life, this is the way!

  18. Fab post Jenny, I do admit to getting a little choked by it.

    Lots of love to you and the fabulous Mr O, wishing you both many years of happiness x x

  19. I’m a day late reading this post, but I know it’s going to be a good day when I wake up and cry!! Jenny your story is lovely and I am really looking forward to seeing your wedding pictures xx

  20. Such a lovely post to read on a grey Friday lunchtime. True love as it’s meant to be. Wishing you both the most fabulous wedding and can’t wait to see the photos. xx

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