*Hi there Lovelies, Charlotte here. I just wanted to say that I love Jen’s writing – I often laugh out loud whilst formatting the posts! …..but this particular piece is my favourite so far. Real, honest and tug-at-your-heart-strings beautiful. Hankies at the ready folks.
Why I’m Looking Forward To Being Married
I’m not sure when it happened. I suspect it was when Mr O was down on bended knee proposing to me, when time slowed down and my surroundings had that blurry yet crystal clear ‘Matrix’ effect going on. I think it was that point, and that point alone that I considered life as a married couple.
I guess I had always known I would be with him, for as long as our relationship lasted. Sounds pessimistic but growing up in a single parent family only prepares you for independence and to be competent at being on your own. Who needs men eh? So marriage was never talked about, time frames were never talked about, we both share a love of travel, music, films, books, politics and our lives were happily intertwined. We had a good thing going and although time together hadn’t always been roses our relationship was tested on many occasions and we always managed to stay close and stay together. That’s life! Anyone who claims being in a relationship is easy sailing, is a big fat fibber. Life throws things at you and if you come out of it the other side able to heal and move on you know your relationship is very grounded. I never applied any pressure on him to make an honest woman of me, we were happy the way we were. I didn’t want to be one of those women who manipulated their man into getting wed. So when he produced a ring, and a speech, and the seed of marriage was planted on my finger and in my head, I embarked upon a journey of change and felt absolutely thrilled at the prospect of becoming a proper partnership with someone who I feel is my equal.
Love is a state of mind that comes from time and experience together. It isn’t being ‘in love’ that makes me want to marry Mr O, Ok so that has a huge influence on why I am doing it, but it’s what happens after you fall in love that makes a marriage. It’s the partnership, the friendship, the ability to know each other well enough to support each other through lifes ups and downs. He still makes me laugh, until my ribs hurt. He still tells me the same old stories and I still love hearing them. He knows which buttons to press to get me really riled, we keep each other very grounded. He encourages me to do things with my life, like when I sang in my favourite ska/reggae band 20 Dead Camels, he told me that because I knew all the songs already I could sing them in the band no probs – it would be great fun, and it was great fun I can’t believe I had the bottle to do it! He encouraged me to go bankrupt because despite working two jobs I was in dire straights when I met him and you know you’re in trouble when you can’t even afford the bus to work every day, let alone run my car. Best decision I ever made that was. He encouraged me to start my blog because he knew how much I loved to write, and he encouraged me to become a make up artist because that is what I am good at. He supported me when I had to care for my Mum when she was terminally ill. He put a roof over my head and food in my tummy when I was too depressed to function like a normal human being. He met me for lunch every day when I started my new job in London, because I didn’t have any friends there yet and I was nervous. We jump around at festivals and get totally mullered together, we travel and see the world together, because that’s what we like to do. When I think about ‘us’ I feel like it’s the greatest love story there ever was….. But then, I can imagine we all feel that way about our relationships.
We’ve worked hard to get where we are today, we’ve (almost) got the perfect life, and the perfect home. We make a great team and for that reason I can’t wait to say I do and become Mrs Oatham!
(photo courtesy of Me)
**in case new readers are wondering why the random photo of the Taj Mahal, see my first What Jenny Did post here, should clear things up a bit