What Laura Did…..The Feathers And The Frippery.

Ladies, the dress is finished.

Gone are the days of putting it on like a surgical gown. It has a concealed zip and everything. Finished.

Short dress = I am officially on Bruise Watch. With just over 6 weeks to go, I’m already trying desperately to avoid my usual trick of bashing my shins off everything around me.

The fellas’ ties arrived in an exciting-looking parcel the other day from Victoria Richards (we googled ‘Where doth Jon Snow buy his ties from?’ And the oracle of Google spake thus: ‘VICTOOOORIA RICHAAAARDS’. Seriously, what did people do before t’interweb existed?)

Old-Mrs-Addy-from-Bedford’s-adolescent-milk-round is making the cake AS I TYPE THESE VERY WORDS.

We have the big stuff in place. Outfits. Rings. Flowers. A car. A menu. A DJ. A band. We have some scary wrangling to do in order to get some Events Insurance instead of Public Liability Insurance (so boring I can’t actually bring myself to write about it, but please – if you’re at the stage of sorting your venue and entertainment, have a word about PLI with your entertainment people. Don’t assume they have it. Ours didn’t. Cue me writhing around on the floor and struggling to breathe a’la Phil Mitchell mid-heart attack.)

Anyway. We’re on the route to sorting it. It’ll all be fine. I’m sure.

We have lots of pretty bits, too. Straws. Instant camera films. A guest book. Washi tape and place setting cards. Every couple of days an exciting parcel or package arrives at work and I squirrel it away into my bag. The home office looks like a props store cupboard for the filming of My Big Fat Anglo-Irish Wedding. I’m having conversations with Bridesmaid Alex about which specific River Phoenix/early Leonardo DiCaprio films we’ll watch the night before the wedding in an homage to our teenage years (for the record, I’m thinking Running on Empty and This Boy’s Life. Sob. I’ll be an emotional wreck.)

We are ON, man.

So what can I share with you? Well, I thought at this point, it might be interesting to impart some frustrations, advice and revelations about the whole Wedding Planning Experience for those of you who aren’t quite as far along the Road to Weddingdom. Just to give you a bit of a heads-up, like. Ready? OK, here goes.

Do not wish your time away! Yes, annoying people will say things like, “Eee, it’ll be here before you know it!” Yes, you’ll stamp your foot like a petulant Veruca Salt demanding a Golden Goose and INSIST that time just hurries itself up a little bit. And it won’t. But trust me – soon you’ll be flicking through a diary trying to make a hair appointment or sort a work do and you’ll realise that ‘This Fecking Wedding’ (as ours has become affectionately known) is AROUND THE BLOODY CORNER.

You will need wine on hand for this moment. This is crucial.

People will not reply to your invitations. YOU will have to chase THEM. I knooow. Outrageous, eh? How very dare they.

You will have Wedding Envy. You will keep looking at blogs thinking, “Oo, pompoms. I should have had pompoms. I cannot believe I haven’t incorporated pompoms. What a fool I am.” Or “My life will simply not be complete without a seven tier cake and rustic buttercream icing.”

At this point, I would recommend a conversation with the bloke, particularly if he’s Northern and straight-talking. Ours went like this. Me (whiny voice): ”Look at this piiiiicture of this caaaaaake, Adam. Is it not beauty incarnate?” Adam (not looking up from the paper): “Laura. Mrs Addy’s making the cake.” Thank you, my love, for your clarity.

You will hopefully realise that there’s a difference between appreciating the aesthetic choices of someone else’s wedding (loving them, even!) and wishing that you had the same thing yourself. I felt like this looking at Katie’s Clean, Scottish and Stylish wedding last week. Err, how beautiful?! I had to have words with myself along the lines of, “Laura, you can’t swing dance. And long dresses make you feel horrendously self-conscious. Get over it.” Although that wedding seriously rocked and produced my highest envy levels for quite some time. Oh my. T’was ohsosexy, beautiful and cool.

You will be totally overcome with decisions at some point. Yup. Just saying. You’ll be paralysed into inaction (as I often am) or garble away meaninglessly about different options and still have no clear idea of what you want (as I often do). Soz. It WILL happen.

And finally, a conundrum that I hope you can help me with. I’m in the midst of ordering something for my head. No, not a lobotomy, but a piece of pretty with which to adorn my barnet. You see, after much soul-searing, I’ve realised I can’t work the veil. My knee-length dress and my baby face (one of the invigilators famously asked me as I walked into the school hall at work to start off the GCSE English exam, ‘Higher or Foudation?’ Cheeky git) mean that I’m scared of looking like I’m making my First Holy Communion. So a fancy clip/band it is.

Etsy rears its pretty head again. Oh, I do love it. And I found this uber-pretty bad boy of a shop – Bridal Couture.

I’m thinking a feathery clip with some sort of vintage-pearly bit effort. But do I go for ivory (ooo, el classico) or for a bit of colour (mebbes peacock-feather or a bit of purple? Or will that clash horribly with the greenery in my flowers? – a question I never, ever thought I would ask)…. What do you reckon? I wanted statement colour somewhere, but now I’ve found The Perfect Shoes (no previews just yet, sorry!) in ivory I’m thinking something in my hair or going colour-crazy with my flowers or jewellery or…oh bloody hell. There I go overcome with decision again…


Laura xx

Author: Charlotte O’Shea
Purveyor of short shorts. Make-up junkie. Hopes to grow old disgracefully.

34 thoughts on “What Laura Did…..The Feathers And The Frippery.

  1. Laura. Thsi was brilliant. Dying of laughter at the thought of you as Phil Mitchell.

    I love that Mrs Addy is from the milk round! Do you think she’ll do my 30th cake? Do you think we can make her into a multi-million cake-baking empire?

    I think go for colour on your head. I regret not having something a bit statement on my barnet. If you end up looking like you should be on the stage in Vegas, the so much the better. But you won’t. You’ll look amazing.

    Oh, oh, watch My So-Called Life the night before the wedding, too! But not at the expense of sleep, obviously.

  2. Laura, am currently trying to giggle quietly at my desk and I think I’ve pulled a muscle in the process!

    You are quite simply put HILARIOUS today and also, all the points you raised above are pretty much what I have also realised in the past 6 weeks or so. Do you think mebbe we are twins seperated at birth?

    Please please pretty please go with the colour in your hair (I loves colour I do!). Particularly if they are peacock feathers. Esp if they are peacock feathers. With the short dress you will totally rock it sassy styleee (no idea where the styleee came from!).

    Oh and I recommend The Goonies. All time classic. Hysterically funny. I have Chunk doing the ‘truffle shuffle’ t-shirt btw!

    Hey yoooouuu guuuuyyssss!


  3. Oooh what pretty hair pieces! I love the second one but if it’s colour you are wanting then number 3 is the clear winner.

    I am so exited to see your dress! Arnica is good for bruises so mebbes (to quote you) buy some cream and tablets just incase you knock a knee…

    x x x x

  4. Laura… you are hilarious…really, truely!

    I love the peacock feathers… but I love the whole ‘hairband’ effect of the middle one… oh tough decisions hun!

  5. Go for colour in the hair!!

    Also, DO NOT WATCH THIS BOY’S LIFE THE NIGHT BEFORE!! If you’re anything like me with that film, you’ll wake up on the morning all swollen-faced and puffy-eyed. Not a good look for most people.

  6. I went through all of this in the weeks before my wedding (we have been married nearly 5 whole weeks now!). Wedding envy is a terrible thing, it creates stress where there was none before. We went very clean and simple with our decorations in the end, and after looking back at the photos it was the right thing to do, as the people in them are the focus and not the fairy lights/pom poms/sweet shops.
    As far as colour goes, I love it! I got my wedding jewellery also from the amazing Etsy, and had a beautiful necklace made from a vintage (fake) diamond and emerald broach attached to pearls. It was incredibly beautiful, and toned perfectly with my green bridesmaid dresses. Put as much personality as you can into your accessories, my favourite comment about my wedding look was that it was ‘very you’, which I think is just lovely, as most brides want to look like a better version of their usual selves.
    Good luck! x

  7. Make that triplets Mahj… as I too have discovered all of the above in recent weeks… tis crazy, and as for the RSVPs… just rude! (Not that I’m dwelling on this at all ;-))

    You need to get some colour in your hair lady – it will look fabulous, espesh with your short frock. Do it!!


  8. Definately a fan of colour pops, go with the peacock 🙂
    I too have struggled with drooling over all the pretty in recent RMW posts and have been swayed a couple of times to ‘re-think’ my DIY prettiness and with only 4 weeks till W day I really need to stop!

    I did think (for almost 10 seconds) that I should ‘give up’ RMW before the wedding so I cannot be tempted but…My name is Ashleigh and I am an addict’ x

  9. Crappers – have just realised that I got my child stars from the 80’s all mixed up and actually meant to recommend Stand By Me. ‘Cept it is a bit of a blubberfest/coming-of-age one so maybe not great for the puffy-eyed look the next morn!


  10. Ah! You are me!!! Or I am you?? Or either way I feel EXACTLY, to the last teeny letter like you! – and most other brides-to-be-in-less-than-two-months….Eek! Anyway, you asked a question and I wanted to put my two pennies worth in….for what it’s worth….
    I LOVE the second head band….A.MEZ.IN! However, You are not me, no matter how much I think you are, and therefore if it is colour you are after then most definitely you should go for the feathers! But…take a look at: https://www.chezbec.com/ (if you haven’t already), I love their accessories!

    Much love. x

  11. OOHHH Laura I feel your words I have 12 weeks to go and am starting to stress out! So before I wrote anything more I will get a glass of wine (in my mind) I think all three pieces are lovely, but it also depends on the hair…
    But if it was me I would not go for the colour, because I think the focus has to be on your hair, face and dress. Let the flowers do the colour that day. Just to be very annoying I have come across a wonderfull website that makes truely beautiful headpieces https://janniebaltzer.com/
    Hope you find one that makes your blood run faster

  12. Peacock!!! I agonised about my colour pops clashing with my flowers (did I really just say that sentence?? 6 months ago I wouldn’t have known what the hey that meant) but if the overall look is ivory, small bursts if colour look better if they’re not matchy matchy

    And I’ve been on the other end if ents insurance when my band played at our friends wedding last year… Not sure we needed covering for being suspended/rising above the stage more than 4 metres, who do they think plays at weddings, Spinal Tap???

    Good luck…..Eee so soon! Enjoy the butterflies and excitement!


  13. Oh Mahj. Stand By Me. What a blast from the past!

    Hellooooo River Phoenix?! I was a bit obsessed with him as a young ‘un. Although in Stand By Me it’s all about Corey Feldman. I thought he was the most gorgeous male alive! Then discovered Howard Donald.

    Let me add this to the colour-debate mix: I have just bought some coral and green earrings. They are amazing. Does this mean I should have ivory on my head?!

  14. Anna – I used to want to BE Claire Danes in My So-Called Life. I had a penpal in Ireland and we used to write huge essays to each other obsessing about that damn show.

    Mrs Addy would be more than happy to sort you out with a cake. You get the added bonus of it arriving in a vintage M&S biscuit tin from 1982, too.

  15. totally hear you on the RSVP front, with less than 4 weeks to go til the wedding, im still chasing people to reply!!!! down right rude is all I can say!

    When you mention it to people they reply ‘oh I didnt realise i had to’ eh what????? thats why i put RSVP by June 1st on the invites, and dont even think of asking me the address to send the reply to, do you want me to provide the bloomin stamp as well???

  16. I tooootally agree about the RSVPs and the “oh, I didn’t realise I had to” comments, I am not psychic people! I provided a stamped, addressed card, all they had to do was ticked a damn box and but it in the post! 3 weeks to go and only just got final numbers together. Grrrrrr!

    Have also been experiencing the same other porblems… I am so incapable of making decisions anymore that I now have 3 different headband options stashed away in my wardrobe (praying the boy doesn’t find them as he would NOT be impressed)! And I have just placed a mahoosive tissue paper order as I decided my life would be incomplete without hanging pompoms at my wedding!

    I to am totally praying thet the-panicy-stage-will-soon-pass-and-I’ll-become-a-vision-of-serenity-soon… bit somehow can’t imagine that happening until I’m walking down that aisle!

  17. Laura, I vote for peacock too! It is by far the funkiest of the 3.

    I had forgotten about My So-Called Life! I too was obsessed with it. Funny how, in my attempts to pick up tips on how to be as cool and grungy and disaffected as Angela, I failed to notice that Jared Leto’s ‘band’ could only play 2 lines of the same Ramones cover, no matter how many times they had a ‘gig’…

    Which only adds to its charm, really. 🙂

  18. I have just over 2 weeks to go and still do not know how many evening guests to expect – however I spied my intended sneakily emailing someone else to invite them LAST NIGHT!!! I expressly told him, 2 weeks ago, to stop doing this. It’s really annoying because not only do I not know what I owe the venue, I also can’t calculate how far over budget I have gone!!

  19. What a brilliant post, I can relate to all your revelations… I have 2 days (!!!) to go and sorry to report I haven’t yet reached the serene stage. I think that will be after the ceremony, glass of champagne in hand – and I’m with you, I hadn’t realised how indecisive I would be throughout the process. Ah well, nearly there now

    (we STILL haven’t had some RSVPs back despite asking for them to be back by 20 April. Hmmm. And people asking, yesterday, if they could bring a plus one. HMMMM.)

    Yes to colour on your head – both earrings and headgear – sounds great!

  20. What a brilliant post! I’ve been through all of these things as well.
    The day after sending out the invites I was asking H2B why nobody had replied yet. My parents still haven’t! Though I assume they are coming. But still it’s just rude! H2B’s response was this “Well if nobody comes it’s more food for us! “.
    I think colour too! I lurve peacock feathers. Could you not incorparate a teeny birdcage veil?

  21. feathers every time pet!! who gives a monkey’s if they don’t go with the bridesmaid dresses or whatever – they’ll look mint!!

    gotta run – boning work evening do 🙁

    mrs r.now

    PS the drummer form our band is called chunk and yes, he does the truffle shuffle (but only if you ask very very nicely)

  22. Laura-I am 3 months and counting to W-Day and am already in a blind panic about everything! To the point where I can’t get anything done because I’m stressing about 101 things at the same time!! This is not good for someone who prides themselves on being super organised, super calm and super in control of everything.

    This is why I love RMW so much-i now realise that it isn’t just me who is panicking and do not feel so bad about it!!!

    Off home for big glass of wine-and lots of deep breaths-in the hope I can come to some sort of decision about our wedding cake. I have narrowed my choice of favourite cakes down to about 50 (no joke!) and am making it impossible for me to come to any sort of firm decision.

    Any inspiration out there ladies on the cake front?!


    P.S. Laura- I’m with Rebecca on the hair front-sparkly for the day and colourful for the evening 

  23. Laura, this is freakin’ hilarious! Love your account of Adam’s nonchalant response to the cake you were trying to show him – brilliant ;o)
    Enjoy your last few weeks of plannage – can’t wait to see the photos from your Big Fat Anglo-Irish wedding/The ‘Fecking wedding’ ha ha! xxx

  24. This made me chuckle to myself.
    I also think the second one is beautiful and would be lovely for during the day as Rebecca said, and colour it up good for the evening. But either way you go, they are all super pretty!
    I am way too shy to wear the amazing feathery colour thing but soooo envious of those who dare to go for a real colour pop!
    Hope you get all your RSVP’s soon..how blimmin rude! xx

  25. loving this post and well done on your planning progression. Just think soon it will be your wedding people will be looking at saying ‘oh why didnt i choose that!’

    And all the headbands are so bleedin lovely! I can see i’m going to struggle with the decisions myself!

  26. OMG how true are the heads-ups…have had all the same thoughts/conversations! Am on 5th version of headgear and finally settled on accidentally found (through obsessive web searches) feather alice band from bhs (total bargain). Head gear harder than dress (although also on dress no.2)

  27. Laura – loved reading your article adn has put my pre-wedding frenzied mind at ease knowing that there are other like-minded brides-to-be out there! Just as a tip, Johanna Johnson has the most beautiful head pieces and is definitely worth checking out (although she is located in Australia). Good luck x

  28. Such a funny read Laura (as always!) with 4 weeks to go I am defo at the freaking out/super excited stage! It really does creep up on you even though it’s all you think about for months! I too have had the response to the RSVP’s as “I don’t need to return mind do I?” not at all sure why people think they are exempt from it??!! . I cannot wait to read all about your big day! X p.s peacock all the way!

  29. There’s something about the first headpiece that I love. It’s glam but understated, perhaps, so good luck with your choice and the rest of your wedding plans.

  30. L.O.V.E.D. Your post. 2 weeks to go and I’ve found myself lusting after gorgeous features of other weddings (Scottish wedding in last week’s post=gorgeous). Why do we do it to ourselves, eh? Should be a lock on wedding websites 2 weeks before your wedding – like a parental lock, but for brides.

    Wanted to cast my vote for the feathers head adornment. But maybe deep down you already know which you prefer? I had that, but what was stopping me from following my gut instinct was trying to live up to the ohsocool swankiness of other brides I’d seen in blog land. Then i realised I’m a giant goofball and went with my gut. Happy choosing! I bet you’ll look great and have an awesome wedding!

  31. Laughing so much because I had the pom pom thought only yesterday. My wedding is 6 weeks away and I was looking at a wedding blog and thought ‘Why haven’t I got pom poms? Where could I possibly sneak a pom pom or two in? Then I hit on it-I’m going to tie some to the back of the car for a photo! Pom Poms I will have goddamit!

  32. Loved your post -especially the bit about the invigilator; I’m an English teacher too and have had that happen to me more than once, it does nothing for your credibility with the kids but always makes me chuckle. The wedding envy hits us all but you’re right you have to go with what suits you. I really liked the third headpiece by the way but you may also want to check out this website: http://www.lillylewis.co.uk as she does beautiful pieces too. She’s making the headpieces for my bridesmaids and is fab!

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