Ladies, the dress is finished.
Gone are the days of putting it on like a surgical gown. It has a concealed zip and everything. Finished.
Short dress = I am officially on Bruise Watch. With just over 6 weeks to go, I’m already trying desperately to avoid my usual trick of bashing my shins off everything around me.
The fellas’ ties arrived in an exciting-looking parcel the other day from Victoria Richards (we googled ‘Where doth Jon Snow buy his ties from?’ And the oracle of Google spake thus: ‘VICTOOOORIA RICHAAAARDS’. Seriously, what did people do before t’interweb existed?)
Old-Mrs-Addy-from-Bedford’s-adolescent-milk-round is making the cake AS I TYPE THESE VERY WORDS.
We have the big stuff in place. Outfits. Rings. Flowers. A car. A menu. A DJ. A band. We have some scary wrangling to do in order to get some Events Insurance instead of Public Liability Insurance (so boring I can’t actually bring myself to write about it, but please – if you’re at the stage of sorting your venue and entertainment, have a word about PLI with your entertainment people. Don’t assume they have it. Ours didn’t. Cue me writhing around on the floor and struggling to breathe a’la Phil Mitchell mid-heart attack.)
Anyway. We’re on the route to sorting it. It’ll all be fine. I’m sure.
We have lots of pretty bits, too. Straws. Instant camera films. A guest book. Washi tape and place setting cards. Every couple of days an exciting parcel or package arrives at work and I squirrel it away into my bag. The home office looks like a props store cupboard for the filming of My Big Fat Anglo-Irish Wedding. I’m having conversations with Bridesmaid Alex about which specific River Phoenix/early Leonardo DiCaprio films we’ll watch the night before the wedding in an homage to our teenage years (for the record, I’m thinking Running on Empty and This Boy’s Life. Sob. I’ll be an emotional wreck.)
We are ON, man.
So what can I share with you? Well, I thought at this point, it might be interesting to impart some frustrations, advice and revelations about the whole Wedding Planning Experience for those of you who aren’t quite as far along the Road to Weddingdom. Just to give you a bit of a heads-up, like. Ready? OK, here goes.
Do not wish your time away! Yes, annoying people will say things like, “Eee, it’ll be here before you know it!” Yes, you’ll stamp your foot like a petulant Veruca Salt demanding a Golden Goose and INSIST that time just hurries itself up a little bit. And it won’t. But trust me – soon you’ll be flicking through a diary trying to make a hair appointment or sort a work do and you’ll realise that ‘This Fecking Wedding’ (as ours has become affectionately known) is AROUND THE BLOODY CORNER.
You will need wine on hand for this moment. This is crucial.
People will not reply to your invitations. YOU will have to chase THEM. I knooow. Outrageous, eh? How very dare they.
You will have Wedding Envy. You will keep looking at blogs thinking, “Oo, pompoms. I should have had pompoms. I cannot believe I haven’t incorporated pompoms. What a fool I am.” Or “My life will simply not be complete without a seven tier cake and rustic buttercream icing.”
At this point, I would recommend a conversation with the bloke, particularly if he’s Northern and straight-talking. Ours went like this. Me (whiny voice): ”Look at this piiiiicture of this caaaaaake, Adam. Is it not beauty incarnate?” Adam (not looking up from the paper): “Laura. Mrs Addy’s making the cake.” Thank you, my love, for your clarity.
You will hopefully realise that there’s a difference between appreciating the aesthetic choices of someone else’s wedding (loving them, even!) and wishing that you had the same thing yourself. I felt like this looking at Katie’s Clean, Scottish and Stylish wedding last week. Err, how beautiful?! I had to have words with myself along the lines of, “Laura, you can’t swing dance. And long dresses make you feel horrendously self-conscious. Get over it.” Although that wedding seriously rocked and produced my highest envy levels for quite some time. Oh my. T’was ohsosexy, beautiful and cool.
You will be totally overcome with decisions at some point. Yup. Just saying. You’ll be paralysed into inaction (as I often am) or garble away meaninglessly about different options and still have no clear idea of what you want (as I often do). Soz. It WILL happen.
And finally, a conundrum that I hope you can help me with. I’m in the midst of ordering something for my head. No, not a lobotomy, but a piece of pretty with which to adorn my barnet. You see, after much soul-searing, I’ve realised I can’t work the veil. My knee-length dress and my baby face (one of the invigilators famously asked me as I walked into the school hall at work to start off the GCSE English exam, ‘Higher or Foudation?’ Cheeky git) mean that I’m scared of looking like I’m making my First Holy Communion. So a fancy clip/band it is.
Etsy rears its pretty head again. Oh, I do love it. And I found this uber-pretty bad boy of a shop – Bridal Couture.
I’m thinking a feathery clip with some sort of vintage-pearly bit effort. But do I go for ivory (ooo, el classico) or for a bit of colour (mebbes peacock-feather or a bit of purple? Or will that clash horribly with the greenery in my flowers? – a question I never, ever thought I would ask)…. What do you reckon? I wanted statement colour somewhere, but now I’ve found The Perfect Shoes (no previews just yet, sorry!) in ivory I’m thinking something in my hair or going colour-crazy with my flowers or jewellery or…oh bloody hell. There I go overcome with decision again…