What Naomi Did… Mission Female Adonis

2 Months & 24 days

That is how long I now have to kick my sofa loving ass into shape. Seriously, I have made it my plan to eat as many cakes as possible up until my birthday. My birthday has now passed (boo!) and I am in salad and gym mode. The reason for this is not so much the wedding day as it is the honeymoon. I want to stroll down the beach in a bikini and feel like a sexy, confident newly wed. I will not be placing mega emphasis on weight loss, (I definitely want to keep my curves!) more just feeling comfortable, which for me personally, means more toned. But I do not wish to bore you all with visions of a red-sweaty-cross-trainer-hater, I would like to chat a bit about beauty.

I do not have a mega budget for my wedding. In fact, lets break the b-word ice, my budget is £17,000. To me that is A LOT of money. To some of you it may be mental to spend that on one day and some of you may consider that to be the small change you find down the back of your very snazzy sofa. But all in all, it’s what I have. Most of it has gone on venues, food and booze. Which, in my opinion were the most important. As suppliers now start looking for their payments and with only 3 paydays between now and the wedding… I need to be savvy. This includes my beauty regime.

The ‘Fro

As some of you may or may not have heard me winge in the past, my hair is impossible. Long, thick, wiry, curly Celtic mess that is not helped by the fact that I bleach the sh*t clean out of it every 6 weeks. “An explosion in a mattress factory” is what my Mum used to call it. Thanks Mum. However, it does definitely have its benefits. I can only wash it every 4 days and even then there is no sign of grease. If I style it, it stays like that for the remaining four days, even without a sniff of hairspray. And finally it’s strong enough to take the constant abuse of bleach and straighteners. My problem is shine! I want shiny satin locks and don’t know how to get it into such a great condition. Any suggestions? Remember the budget… so do not tease me with your miracle-cure-monkey-juice-treatment with a celebrity price tag please. Has anyone tried any hair supplements? Or masks?

Facial Skincare

I think I have this one sussed. My routine will go as follows. Morning: Wash with Liz Earle – Hot Cloth Cleanser, No. 7 – Protect & Perfect Day Moisturiser, No. 7 – Protect & Perfect Beauty Serum. Night: Take off war paint with Lush – Ultrabland (cannot recommend this stuff enough!), No.7 – Protect & Perfect Night Moisturiser, No. 7 – Protect & Perfect Beauty Serum. I stick to this because from past experience it has worked, its simple, and inexpensive.

Spotty Back

This is something I think I suffer from based on the sheer amount of conditioner I have to use to tame my mane. I have tried the whole, flip your head upside down/wash over the bath thing to avoid clogged back pores, but it doesn’t make too much of a difference. The only thing I have tried that I swear down has worked everytime is Lush’s Mask of Magnaminty. Now I don’t even know what it is really for… but as instructed by one of Lush’s marvelous sales staff, I got my man to spread this green minty delight all over my back whilst in the bath. You then just sit forward, let it dry like a mud mask, then beckon your man-slave back to use a little water and scrub the muck off in circular motions. Used once a week… it’s genius! And you get a cheeky wee bonus of a weekly massage.

Blotchy Upper Arms

I vaguely remember Rebecca posting about this before but can’t seem to find the post.
(*RMW EDIT – here it is guys 😉 buff that backside!) But if I remember correctly it was daily exfoliation followed by moisturiser to rid us of our red spotted plight? I will be trying this method, but I always notice that mine clears up in the sunshine of a summer holiday. Making me wonder if it’s something to do with vitamins? Has anyone else come up with a good treatment for this (apparently pretty common) issue?

Underarm area

I have never liked the term armpit. It makes me think of yuck. So after debating about whether or not to write this, I decided “Heck! We all have ‘em.” and I have something worrying me, which may also mean some of you are thinking the same thing. So let’s get it out in the open… Hair removal. To shave or to wax?… that is the question. I am a razor girl for most things. But can’t help but think I would get a better result (with less risk of shadow) from waxing. However, I have been told that the waxing of this area is more painful than a bikini wax. As a regular victim of the lady region torture, I could not think of anything worse that having that pain inflicted upon thinner skin. But I am curious… is it really worth it?

Dry Legs

Every winter, despite my religious moisturising efforts, I end up with dry, itchy legs. This is usually cleared up by the time summer hits and the pins are out. But I don’t really have that luxury now as chances are my wedding weekend will only merely skim the 10 days of sunshine we’re likely to get. Has anyone tried any miracle body creams they’d like to share?

I would now love to seep you of all your lotion and potion knowledge. I know there have been posts on beauty before girls, but I figured that there are always new readers with new ideas and every girl loves a chance to share their miracle treatments, no? So, do you share any of my concerns? Have you any awesome homemade recipes for beauty treatments? Do you have something you’d like to ask advice on? I am no guru, but I know there will be people reading this who can help, so lets get a RMW discussion going and share the beauty loving knowledge, be that good ole soap & water or ‘spensive creams.

Ever the budget beauty bride,


Author: Adam Crohill
Adam likes Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

69 thoughts on “What Naomi Did… Mission Female Adonis

  1. Naomi, you have plenty of time don’t panic!

    My beauty advice to you is this;


    Drink tons of it (but don’t drown yourself).

    You can spend hundreds on fancy creams and lotions (which I still strongly believe are total cons and a waste of money), but ultimately drinking lots and lots of water and keeping your skin hydrated with the likes of baby lotion will have you glowing and pimple free.

    Try it for a week to ten days and you will (hopefully) see a marked improvement


    Jenny O xx

  2. Naomi my love, I am giggling so much at “man-slave” that I think I may have spat a little of my sandwich out. Which is eww.

    I can offer a recommendation on shiny hair: coconut oil. This is something that all the women in my family with long locks swear by. Me, I cant be arsed! But having had it done once, my hair was pretty shiny afterwards. So you put the oil in your hair, massage it all in and then tie your hair back into a plait and leave it in overnight (make sure to put a towel on your pillow), next morning just wash your hair as normal. Et voila.

    I also second Mrs O’s recommendation of water.


    PS. You should be able to buy said coconut oil in Superdrug/Boots etc.

  3. This is the cheapest of the cheap but I swear it’s literally amazing…Aldi’s own moisturiser! The range is called Lacura and it’s the body moisturiser for dry skin and comes in an absolutely enormous bottle for about..hmmm…2 quid! Bargainlicious! I even got comments from friends telling me my arms looked really soft which is very random but I was glad to hear it! The normal skin stuff isn’t too good but the dry skin stuff is fab.

    Oh and talking of bargain basement toilettries…their tampons are better than lillets and about a quarter of the price.

    Facial skincare wise – I’m going to try Soap and Glory’s miracle cream, not sure the real name but you use it for 15 days and then take a break for 3 months. It’s supposed to tighten and luminise your skin which sounds great to me. I’ve heard lots and lots of very good reviews about it!

  4. I drink tons of water (so much that I feel like I go to the toilet suspiciously often when at work) but it doesn’t seem to do anything for my skin which has got even worse since Christmas. I was moaning about this to my friends, as I’m normally very low maintainence, ie face = wash and go, but recently I’ve been having to wear much more make up. They both recommended microdermabrasion. I thought it’d be pricy but the next day I got a Groupon voucher for 3 treatments at much cheapness. Have had one so far and I’m impressed with the smoothness but so far still a bit spotty! I’ve also been using Soap and Glory’s Dr Spot but it doesn’t seem to be doing much so far.
    For body moisturisers I do like the Body Shop butters though

  5. I’m a big fraidy cat with the lowest pain tolerance IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE-including all those places Doctor Who visits. The very phrase ‘bikini wax’ honestly gives me goosebumps and tingly hands. And not in a good way.

    So I feel ‘specially pleased with myself that I can tell you I had my underarms done 4 days before the wedding and it was the single best decision I made. Apart from actually getting married, obvs. It’s amazing, the difference it makes and it lasts for a respectable amount of time-will carry you through your tannedtonedgoddessyhoneymoon easily. Can’t recommend it enough, it didn’t even hurt *that* much…something to do with how taut you can pull the skin there I think.

    Go for it, cross my heart you won’t regret it. And you can imagine slapping me upside the head whilst she’s doing it if it helps!


  6. Spotty back – buy a loofah and scrub your back every day in the shower with normal shower gel. Works a treat.

  7. Naomi, I don’t know if you’ve ever tried Kesastase Masqueintense deep conditioner, but it is a ruddy godsend. Honest. The pot is quite pricey, £25, it lasts over 6 months, but that’s a big investment if you aren’t even sure it’s going to work, so maybe they do a sachet? or I can send you mine to try!) but if that doesn’t tell your hair to calm the feck down, nothing will. It’s a miracle worker.

    Underarm hair, be gone, pain-free, with Veet 3 minute miracle. I swear, this stuff could strip a woolley mammoth in 3 minutes. And it’s for super sensitive skin, too, I use it on..TOO MUCH INFO, ANNA K.

    Tra la la!

  8. Naomi, your so funny…armpits! 🙂

    Ok, well I have used coconut oil and it does work. I have blonde hair and blonde hair doesnt have a natural shine (that is why extensions are sometimes really obvious on blondes…if your not, you know, Jennifer Aniston) and the coconut oil does work, it makes your hair as shiny as a blonde can be, but it wont be like if you had dark hair, and if you have dark hair, its really good.

    Baby oil is the best thing for keeping my legs moisturised and I have psoriasis on the top of my leg and it works for me. But i also take VB-12 tablets.

    Armpit: definitatly better to be waxed. It hurst for about 2 seconds and that’s it. Its also ALOT faster than your bikini line its done in about 3 strokes. So bite the bullet. BUT: do NOT leave it till just before u get married to do it, because if you haven’t been waxed before and you get it done the first time, it grows twice as quick. so get it done about 4 weeks before and then again just before.

    Also echo the water tip for skincare!


  9. I totally agree with Aisling. Underarm waxing really isn’t that sore. I have very sensitive skin and after suffereing from rashs everytime I shaved my underarms, I started getting them waxed. The skin is sensitive for the rest of the day, but the next day, all you’ll feel is how beautifully smooth your underarm area is! Also recommend trying to relax when she does it, pull the skin tight, but don’t tense your body, or ask her to let you know when she’s about to pull and breathe out as she pulls.

    Def recommend doing it a few days before the wedding thou, if the wax is hot, it can result in a bit of a red mark for a couple of days, not the ideal look for your nuptials I’m sure! x

  10. Eee, I love beauty posts! I’m on exactly the same mission.

    So far, I have found these experiments the best:
    •Dry body brushing once a week (not every day)
    •Loreal Replenish Masque – I have the same hair type as you, and toyed with the supposed miracle Keratase treatments, but at £23, this was never going to happen. The Loreal one is made by the same people and has the same wonder ingredient- keratin. (I thought this was a horse tranquiliser!)
    •Cold water rinse on hair at end of shower
    •Fitness Pilates, toning rather than weight loss

    Can’t help on the waxing, I have to force myself to have a bikini wax! It’s painful and embarrassing.

    Hugely agreed though, that the one thing that makes you look your best… is a holiday in the sun. Ironic!! x

  11. Any one got any hints or tips on getting rid of spots?! i feel like i’ve tried everything, i drink bucket loads or water every day as the norm and wash my face day and night with clean and clear facial scrub. I used to have perfect skin as a teenager but my face decided to erupt about 6 months ago and now i only have 4 months till the big day 🙁 i blame the tube commute!


  12. The only trouble with drinking so much water is that you’ll be innocently reading things and then stumble across a gem like Anna K’s ‘could strip a woolly mammoth in 3 minutes’ and you may or may not pee a little bit through laughing!

  13. If any of you lovely ladies can find a cure for my blotchy tops of my arms I will love you forever. Fact. This is my big hang up! I’ve tried the exfoliating and moisturing…. I need a miracle product por favor xx

  14. Re: the underarm waxing – pain level depends on how thick your hair is in that area. I wax everywhere else with no pain at all, but under the arms is nothing short of EXCRUCIATING. Not kidding.

    I say, give careful consideration to the strength of your hair follicles before opting for waxing, and if they look stubborn, go with Anna K’s Veet suggestion or risk everyone else in your beautician’s thinking that you’re being tortured (which, in actual fact, will be really what is happening)!

  15. Sarah, I feel your pain re the spots, let me know if anyone gives you any miracle cures! And also the chemist in me laughed when you confused keratin with ketamine-but that’s cos I’m a bit of a geek 🙂

  16. I too have those damned blotchy upper arms, and can 100% that Dove VisableCare Softening Cream Body works IMMENSELY.

    Is it a cream, or is it a foam? I’m not sure, but just put a little bit on a body brush and scrub 😉 The stuff goes for miles!


  17. Hair – I swear by macademia oil. It doesn’t make your hair greasy, it sinks in really fast and leaves it fantastically shiny. I got the first bottle from the hairdressers and it was pretty pricey at about £27 but I have since found it on ebay etc quite a bit cheaper. Plus you only use a tiny bit each time and so it lasts ages!

    Blotchy Upper Arms – Are we talking keratosis pilaris here? If so I am still searching for the perfect solution. Exfoliation plus moisturiser is the key, and you have to do it every day. No7 do a great body exfoliator which helps. I’m going to try a fruit acid peel or something like that as I’ve heard that this can work.

    Underarms – I don’t know about waxing but I once used my epilator under my arms (it said on the instructions I could)….seriously the single most painful thing I have ever felt in my life! Even worse than standing on a plug! And it stayed sore for at least a week. Never again. I also tried at home waxing once too – I couldn’t lift my arms for my school prom as the skin was so sore and red. But I’m sure a professional would make a much better job of it.

    Dry legs – exfoliate and moisturise. I use either one of those shower puff things or the exfoliating gloves with moisturising shower gel and then moisturise after, seems to work.

    And for Sarah – For angry red spots, put a drop or two of whitening eye drops on a teaspoon and freeze it. Put this on the spot to take out the redness. I’ve also heard, but not tried myself, that using dissolvable aspirin as a face treatment can really help with spots and even the arm thing. Apparently it is the salycilic acid – which you can actually buy in soap form too.

  18. Ladies the number on cream for nay kind of moisturing had to be… The Body Shops Mango body butter! It says for extremely dry skin, but works on all kinds! I used to use it every Thursday night as that was fake tan night (at the moment I am going with the less is more look aka I can’t be bothered), you can exfoliate yourself to death in the bath and then put this on, its amazing. Give it a try you won’t look back!

    Naomi-For hair care, has to be RedKen’s super soft range, there’s a tub called ”All Soft Heavy Cream” which is perfect for thick hair, it will make you dazzle like a diamond. Loads of shops on the net do it so you will prob pick it up for cheaper than the salons xx

  19. OK… with the blotchy, rough skinned upper arms, I love Clean on Me (Soap and Glory I think), got mine totally soft for W Day (which was the Saturday just gone!). Plus you end up humming ‘Lean on Me’ throughout your shower.

    Underarms… I had this debate and in the end stuck with the good old razor, having suffered underarm waxing (eeeeeeeek!) I decided it was the only way. Now, tmi alert… I seem to have super fast growing underarm hair so I was terrified of the dreaded shadow. But all was well on the day! I made sure I had a little stubble so I got the cleanest shave possible and was shadow free!

    The fro – Morrocan Oil, it isn’t the cheapest(about £18 for 15ml) but, as you use so little, it lasts forever. It relaxes, smooths and shines hair and since trying it, I have given up my other wet hair styling products.

    I am afraid I have no advice on the dry legs (my dress was long so I just slapped on my regular moisturiser and decided to ignore them…) or the spotty back, I too am prone to them but, with all the craziness, never really had time to solve the issue so just hoped. And I was indeed spot free on my back. Five days later however, I am not! Someone must have held them off for a few days!


  20. I remember the “diet doctors” on tv saying that the spotty upper arms is a lack of essential fatty acids.
    As I’m vegetarian its likely, so I tried & it worked for me. Should take them daily, but only really remember leading up to special occasions!
    2 months 11 days for me… x

  21. With the Hair – I definately recommend leaving whatever treatment (hot oil, normal conditioner, masque etc) on over night – do this once a week. I also have very dry (over bleached) hair which unfortunately also gets greasy (at the roots)

  22. For upper arms, sounds a bit like Keratosis Pilaris. I think I have that too and I have been trying to get rid of it in time for the big day in July. Exfoliating and moisturising don’t seem to do much. There is no real treatment for it, although from looking around the net, a few people seem to have managed to get rid of them. Sun exposure definitely seems to help most people. I have pretty fair skin so would rather avoid that. If you do find anything that works, I would love to hear from you.

  23. Naomi,

    Thanks for the tip about Lush Ultra bland, I had a look online and the reviews are spectacular! Think I may have to grab some this week…
    As for the dry legs it’s a problem I think us girls all suffer from. Mine were really bad until I started doing a rather wonderful routine, a nice soapy bath with a skin friendly bubble bath followed by exfoliation (I use soap & glory breakfast scrub which I LOVE, but others would work too I presume) and then, once out of the bath, lots of E45 cream. It is the best of the best and the only one I have found which keeps my pins nourished.

    Hope I’ve helped.

    Happy planning!!

  24. Oh, and Sarah..
    May seem bizarre but my Grandmother swears by soap and water. Nothing else. She is 70 yet has gorgeous skin and doesn’t use any fancy products. It might be worth giving a go and seeing how successful it is?

  25. Oh I do love your posts lady!

    Hair shinyness – Espa pink hair and scalp mud mask. I can’t remember how much it is (pos around £20) But it is great. Massaged into scalp and hair and left over night. Smells amazing too. Although I’ve not tried coconut oil – so try that first as it’ll be cheaper. (I’m going to give it a go too!)

    Blotchy upper arms is also something I suffer with all through winter. But it also goes as soon as they’re out in the sunshine! But in the mean time I’ve been using Soap & Glory blueberry body butter. God it’s amazing! I’ve never seen such quick results from a moisturiser – ever! I love it.

    And for an extra tip for skin brightening I’d recommend Dermalogica Multi Vitamin Power Recovery Masque (£20 from Jersey Beauty Company – online) It’s a miracle mask. I sleep with it on every few weeks and it makes such a difference to my skin.

    I’m crapping my pants about it but the girls have also talked me into having my ‘underarms’ waxed. (Thanks up there!) That’s if I can bear to grow them!? We’ll see.

    Go you female adonis! xx

  26. Soap and Glory Flake Away is my favourite for the dry legs. I get really dry shins from tights, cycling leggings, running in the wind – poor things, but one shower with that stuff it’s all well – flaked away! I’m sure you’re supposed to do it every day for a long term effect but it’s a good quick fix too. Must remember to cut out the opaque tights from next winter’s wardrobe in the run up to the wedding.

  27. Sarah, I have exactly the same issue as you. I had always had good skin and it suddenly erupted about 3 months ago, particularly around my chin. I tried loads of products and nothing worked…I eventually went to the doctor and he diagnosed perioral dermatitis (some kind of bacteria thing) and I am now on a 3 month antiobiotic course!

    I would suggest trying the docotr first as apparently all the products I had been using had been making it worse and since I have stopped putting anything on it it has definitely calmed down. I am just keeping my fingers crossed for the antibiotics now (I am only one week into the course so far).

    Hope this helps!

  28. For hair – definitely Kerastase Masquintensse or Philip Kingsley Elasticiser.

    For problem spotty skin (I used to suffer with those awful red boils on the jaw line – gross!) – dermalogica daily exfoliator, their overnight spot treatment works wonders and for a moisturiser, Yonka Creme 15 for problem skin – I’ve never looked back and now have clear skin! Also, cutting out sugar helps too. Where spots are on the face, can also be a good indication to what’s causing them….along the jaw line can indicate a hormonal imbalance (I have PCOS, so that made perfect sense to me!), congestion on the forehead can indicate eating too much fruit – yes ladies you can eat too much of good things too! and the chin area also indicates hormones too – normally leading up to that time of the month.

    I tried laser removal on my underarms, but to be honest, it didn’t have much success!

    Whilst expensive, the best moisturiser for my body is Khiels Creme de Corps – it is ace and does last a long time! My friend (a beauty junkie) swears by good old vaseline moisturiser too.

  29. Naomi. I was in your same underarm camp. I am getting married this Saturday and just before Christmas I thought cmon, how bad can waxing be ( I HATE the dark shadow shaving leaves as my hair is dark brown).
    Honestly. … It was fine. The therapist used Hot Wax which Id wholly recommend over strip and it was over in 10 mins, and then I was hair free for two weeks. Now I havent looked back.
    I’ve had to by more tshirts for the gym rather than vests on those “growing” days but it’s worth it.
    I had the same revelation with my eyebrows about 5 years ago and nor looked back from them either. Give it a try!

  30. I too highly recommend the Soap & Glory products. Scrub of Your Life is good for arm bumps and Flake Away is best for dry legs.
    I use an epilator and is sore on the underarms, but definitely not worse than a bikini wax. You can stretch the skin taught pretty easily which helps. I’ve got very dark hair so with shaving there is always a shadow – using the epilator banishes it!
    Spots – topical treatments etc treat the symptom and not the cause. If spots are around the cheeks and chin then it’s probably hormonal, and culprit is often the Pill. See if you can try one that is known for being kinder to skin. I have tried 2 different brands that both brought me out in awful spots, then tried Femodette and it cleared up straight away. There really is no need to put up with it. I would advise going to the family planning clinic rather than GP because they are experts in all the different types of pill.

  31. I totally heart the Kesastase Masqueintense too and in the run up to my wedding it really helped to make my hair superstar shiny. Expensive but the only thing I’ve tried that got results – plus its good for honeymoon as it quenches sun dried and frizzy hair.

    I also had spotty skin for the 6 months before my wedding so changed to use Dermalogica products and had regular facials at a Dermologica salon. I know some people don’t get on with it but it really saved my skin and I had a lovely glow. They also do body lotions for problem skin that are worth a try! I got a great tip about how to save money on their products from someone I met on a forum – visit http://www.jerseybeautycompany.co.uk – their Dermalogica stuff is about 20% cheaper than if you buy them from salons! Hope it helps!

  32. Naomi my dear, here is my advise: Wax!! Wax all your hairs away…
    I had the worst experience shaving my underarm. It irritated my skin so much that I could not wear any sleeveless tops for over two years! Since then shaving never again, and my lovely sister leanrt to make her own wax with honey and lemon, which leaves your skin really smooth.(I know Im very lucky to have a sister with such skills). I come from Brazil and we do wax everyting, so Im pretty used to it(trust me when I say everything!)
    Honestly it’ll hurt a little bit the first time you’ll do it but you will never want anything else in you life, your hair gets a lot thinner and take so much longer to grow again.
    I’m a big fan! =]

  33. Ahhhh, I did get a giggle out of the man-slave bit! I too am getting my “man-slave” to scrub the ‘ell out of my back every few days – it’s a part of the body that’s just difficult to reach with body scrub etc, so grab a good stiff-bristle brush (Boots do a great one) and let him go to town with your usual body-wash/soap!

    And as a fellow lady-with-a-fro, at the moment I am swearing by the Khiels olive oil deep-conditioning treatment. I think it’s a bit pricey at around £25, but the pot has lasted me at least 6 months and still going. Love love LOVE Moroccan Argan oil for the hair too, I still think oils like Macadamia/Jojoba/etc are best for keeping hair soft and shiny.

    Waxing over shaving every day! Underarms are done in a flash, and yes, if you ask for hot wax it’s much more effective on underarm skin and hair.

    Oh, and more natural oily foods too – avocados, oily fish, etc!

  34. Wax wax wax! Underarms really don’t hurt, and I’ve got very strong hair (seriously, I actually think I may be part-monkey sometimes…).

    For the legs, I seriously recommend the exfoliating gloves (sit on the side of the shower and scrub!) followed by baby oil in a spray bottle. Put it on once you’re pretty much dry out of the shower and they go so soft and lovely. Works all over you actually, but I get particularly scaly legs so I concentrate more on them.

    Oh, and for hair I would definitely recommend the Kerastase stuff – I completely destroyed my hair by bleaching it and basically living on a beach for a year, and it did do lovely things to it 🙂

  35. Blinking Nora, I feel I’m late to the party tonight!

    Philip Kingsley if I’m feeling crappy and need a pick me up otherwise whatever is half price at Tesco. I find changing my shampoo works and I think that is why Mr Kingley works – because it takes the residue from other shampoo’s away. I also find washing it every morning is baaaaad so I was every day and a half. Its fine with Curly hair. Straight hair would not recommend!

    I have curly brunette hair which sometimes looks like Ms Cole and sometimes like I put my finger in a socket. The ONLY thing that works for shine? A decent blowdry. We all know that is why Ms Middleton has shiney glossy locks. Don’t worry, am sure on W-Day your hair will be super shiney!

    Facial Skincare
    Mine is Liz Earle cleanse and polish, origins zero oil toner, origins brighter by nature serum and zero oil moisturiser. I don’t have greasy skin but I find the zero oil makes me less spotty. I find the Lidl one CLOGGS my pores something chronic. I don’t like feeling like I have anything on my skin (and even the number seven feels heavy to me) so I am sticking with liquid.

    P.S. Anyone wanting dermalogica – try googling jersey beauty. The girls at work SWEAR by this website for cheap Dermalogica products.

    One of those long brush things from Boots (£8) and shower gel. No problems. But mine is worse in winter too. I think its because your back doesn’t get as much fresh air. I like the sound of the massages but I’m rationed otherwise I would demand them ALL the time.

    Upper arms
    I’ve not found anything but I keep meaning to try that MAC stuff Charlotte recommended.

    No idea. I am going to try waxing. Even though it makes me feel like a chicken every time I go for my eyebrows, legs and “other bits”

    P.S. Aisling – what’s a doctor who?

    Dry legs
    I don’t really get this. I get dry knees but not very often and only when I fall over.

    I love posts like this. They are SO helpful.

  36. I have actually just RAN back from work to read all your comments.

    I saw the amount there were on my phone and just had HAD to know what everyone’s secrets are! So here I sit, (panting) and poised with a pen to jot down eveyone’s tips! I don’t want to reply to comments in a one-er. would rather read them a few times, so I may be commenting a good few times! Sorry RMW!

    I personally love the beauty posts on here. And as I was having so many wee issues myself, I thought… some of you guys are bound to be thinking this too. So for those of you who have commented with your beauty genius, thank you. And those who haven’t commented but have their own problems they’d like to discuss… come on in!

    I am so excited… I actually might eat cake. (But I promise to flush it down with a big ole glass of water, Jenny!)


  37. I love posts like this – brilliant to get other people’s recommendations!

    The Kerastase conditioner is brilliant and you can get it on amazon for around £17.00 so slightly cheaper than elsewhere and it does last.

    I love Liz Earle Cleanse and Polish and swear by Nivea Mosituriser for dry skin for my legs – makes my skin really smooth and smells lovely!

    I’ve bought myself a loofah and those exfoliating gloves so will have to try and use these fairly regularly – yet to find my dream exfoliator – I like the sound of Soap and Glory

    I also like the sound of the man slave helping out, great idea! x

  38. Just wanted to say I too suffer from the dry leg thing (actually dry-almost-everywhere thing) and my 2 failsafe moisturisers are the Body Shop body butters (any scent, currently using brazil nut which is nice) and Superdrug Vitamin E moisturiser- this is really dirt cheap but is a v good moisturiser without being too heavy. My lovely mother in law gave me Molton Brown shower gel and moisturiser to use on the morning of the wedding which was lovely but it doesn’t exactly fit the brief of ‘budget’!!

    Have read the comments on armpit waxing with interest as I’m such a wuss- when I have my bikini line done the first side always makes me wince so much that I have to force myself to stay for the second side!!

  39. I have really curly hair and have spent years trying things to get it into good condition and have finally succeeded (well I think so anyway!). I like the Charles Worthington results range for regular washing, and then Aussie 3 minute miracle for a treat. As its only about £3.50 a bottle I use absolutely loads smothering it all and leave it for as long as possible before rinsing. I have used other more expensive treatments and not really found them to be any better. Also a fan of the John Frieda Frizz Ease Intense Conditioner, but not so much the rest of the range. From my investigations its worth looking at the ingredients list for the shampoos/conditioners/serums/leave in styling products that you like and see if they contain any silicones. Some say that you should avoid them as they can dry hair out, but my hair really responds well to them and I cant live without Bumble and Bumble Serum (it is expensive but lasts such a long time and makes my hair manageable so its def worth it).

    As for the spotty back, you could try a simple thing of changing the order that you do stuff in the shower. Leave scrubbing your back (and yay for exfoliating gloves they make life so much easier) till after you have rinsed all the conditioner out of your hair, so the conditioner doesn’t get the opportunity to clog your pores.

    As for underarm waxing its fine if you can cope with Bikini line then you will have no problems with the underarm. It takes less time, the first time you have any area done it hurts more but it does get less painful with time.

  40. Ok, so here goes:

    Jenny – I have been drinking one of them big Volvic bottles of water a day for the last three days… and I can seriously notice a difference in not only my skin, but my energy. Apparently the best anti-aging trick in the world too btw.

    Mahj – When in Lush, they gave me a sample of their coconut oil solid hair conditioner. I am yet to try it, but am much more intrigued now. Thanks lady!

    Lorna – ALDI?? Amazeballs. I will purchase this. Even if I only end up using it to cover my windows when I’m decorating, its a bargain! Btw… does anyone still use that Pink Windowlene stuff? Or was that a total ’80’s thing?

    Linsey – Body Shop Butters rock my socks… but I can’t help be put off by how perfume-y they are. Dunno why. It’s like I want to smell rank or somethin’.

    Aisling – My future sister-in-law faints when she stubs her toe… seriously. Actually faints. She has the lowest threshold for pain ever. And she was the one who recommended it to me. I really should just suck it up and do it. Maybe I should go drunk. That sounds interesting… I’ll report back. 😉

    Anna K – Part of me loves the idea of you sending me up a sample of your miracle conditioning treatment in the post… only to try to convince Gavin that I accidentally signed up to be sent a sperm bank sample. Hmm.. I smell divorce. Must try it though (mask not sperm) as it’s gettin rave reviews in these comments! Veet’s a good shout also.)

  41. Essien – Will be trying VB-12’s

    Sarah – Dry Body Brushing!! I knew I forgot something. Its awesome, but it makes my skin feel super sensitive. Must try the Loreal stuff too.

    Sarah 2 – For spots try Dr Nick Lowe Spot Gel… myself and tons of friends swear by this. I find that Clean & Clear just breaks me out even more, try Liz Earle’s range. It’s moisturising but very gentle.

    Katie – I am intrigued by the texture of this Dove stuff you speak of.

    LadyFushia – I have heard that Macadamia oil and Morrocan oil are god sends. Must try.

    Sammi – Googling that RedKin stuff now!!!!

    Martha – I think maybe wax, wait for the skin to settle then spray tan… i think I think.

    Fiona – DO ULTRABLAND – you will not look back!

    Gemma – Jersey Beauty Company you say?? I can hear my bank card screaming already!

    Erin – How exciting your big day will be here soon! Have a top one! The whole “growing days” thing gives me the dry boke. But by the sounds of all the raving wax maniacs out there… it could be worth it.

    BB – try Mask of Magnaminty on your back. Honestly, miracle stuff.

  42. Good lord – I could have written that post myself! Curly hair…check. Blotchy upper arms…check. Dry & itchy legs…check!

    As for hair, my friend is raving about Moroccan oil at the mo….oops, just saw you mentioned it above!

    Now, as for blotchy arms – my God, I have FINALLY found something that is working. I’ve tried so many things but the only one that’s made any difference is the Perricone MD cleansing bar.

    It’s pricey – £33 for a bar. But it’s not just a bar of soap, it’s a bar of wondrousness! I’ve been using it in the shower every couple of days (to make it last longer – I do shower more regularly!) and leave it on for a couple of minutes. It’s drastically improved the colour and texture of my red, bumpy arms. Am considering buying their moisturiser too for a double whammy!

    And finally, legs…Soap & Glory Flake Away….fabulous!

    Katie x

  43. Right.

    Have just spent forever reading all these great comments, what an amazing community we have here eh?

    On my list:

    Lush Ultrabland ( thanks Naomi)
    Soap and Glory Flake Away ( thanks practically everyone!)

    And for girls with blocked pores/spots please PLEASE watch out for silicones in products ( they put the in ruddy everything) as I truly believe they cause breakouts like nothing else – usually listed as “Dimethicone ” – the nearer the the top of the product list the more there is in it by the way.

    To prevent lumpy bumpy face yuck getting any worse I use Zineryt, an antibiotic lotion prescribed by your GP, it takes down redness and prevents infection.

    Mr O’Shea has the arm bump infliction, a body shop exfoliating glove, soap ( or any shower gel) and moisturiser every day for a few weeks makes a big difference.

    Sarah – Keratin/Ketamine – hilarious, I actually laughed out loud!

    Charlotte xxx

  44. Hi. Couldn’t agree more with the water! By far the best beauty product I have come across. As for the blotchyness (face, back and arms) I swear by St. Ives blemish fighting scrub. Use every other day for a week or so and the results should be fabulous!! The man-slave (brilliant by the way!!) will need to help out with the back, plus you still get the free massage! Bonus! The invigorating scrub is also good for sorting dry legs with a generous ammount of cocoa butter applied afterwards.

    I say go for the under arm wax! The first time is a killer, there’s no getting away from it, but the more you do it the better it gets! Ask if the salon has a tea tree moisturiser for afterwards – if not then superdrug sell a fantastic own brand one! Stick it in the fridge for when you get home – it definitely helps with the soreness.

    Good luck!! xx

  45. Regarding the underarm issue – I would recommend epilating every time. It takes a few attempts to not feel the pain but you don’t get the sudden quick ripping feel of waxing. Plus no re-growth shadow!

  46. For shiny hair, I personally use the “Brilliant Brunette” range, by John Frieda I think. It works wonders for me. My friend is blonde and has just started using the Blonde range and says it’s making a massive difference.

    I use both the conditioner and the shine spray. I can’t use the shampoo as i need to use head and shoulders only as it is the only things that gets rid of the eczema on my head.

    For my face, I’m pretty easy. I use Simple cleansing wipes followed by Vaseline Moisturiser, the one that sinks into your skin, it comes in three “flavours”, I use the citrus one, its totally brilliant for banishing my eczema which is in awkward places like my eyelid.

    I also use Mens Lab Series Face Wash, which is bright blue and smoothes my skin out like you wouldn’t believe.

    Spots. I had spots across my face but more so down my back.

    My GP told me that it was my hair, because it’s long so I spent 6 months with it tied up all the time, and it made no difference.

    I then was on antibiotics for two years, and although it calmed them down, it didn’t get rid of them, and as soon as I stopped taking them, the spots flared within 24 hours.

    So I saw a Dermatologist who put my on the contraceptive pill Dianette. Within a week my spots have gone, and so far have not returned.

    Dry legs, I use the body shop body butter. It’s fantastic.

    I can’t help on the others. But I hope my two pence worth helps!


  47. I always use nivea irresistibly smooth body lotion every day. It sinks in amazingly and keeps you super soft. It’s fab!

  48. Hello, Wow soooo many people have commented… I have skim read the comments… I am a hairdresser and I would highly recommend as some others have Kerastase Masquintense hair masque or even chroma riche( pink packaging) both are brilliant and so worth the money. You need to use the matching shampoo to get a good result, as you do not wash your hair everyday it would not cost you too much to use.
    Really towel dry before using the masque and as someone said before leave overnight and rinse out well in the morning.
    Try Body shop monoi oil for your legs its gorgeous.
    Also to make your blonde hair more shiny try Loreal shine blonde or redken blonde glam… you can get a conditioner to give a hint of platinum or soft gold.
    Love Hannah x

  49. Evening ladies!

    Well, I’m quite tempted to get into the underarm waxing now! It’s the growing thats the issue though I reckon…

    Charlotte, don’t bother with ultra bland, you’ll be allergic 😉

    I can see there are huge skin issues worrying you guys, I can feel a skin post coming on!

    For exfoliation I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again I am all about the exfoliating gloves from boots/super drug etc. Use Them everyday everywhere and you’ll see such a difference. That will take care of your arms, spotty back and legs.

    Moisturisers I like:
    Lush Dreamcream
    Cocoa butter

    Spots. See. your. GP. There is no real cure in any lotion potion, special diet, supplement or even water. That is all.


  50. I went to my GP for help with my spots and he prescibed a cream which didn’t really work so I started to look at herbal remedies as an alternative. For the last two weeks I’ve been taking HRI Clear complexion tablets (recommended by my local Holland & Barrett). They seem to be doing the trick so far and my skin is definitely clearer and smoother along my jawline. It contains Burdock which the chinese use for skin conditions.

    p.s I’m definitely going with the waxing too x

  51. Hi Naomi,

    Keratosis Pilaris – this is what worked for me:
    1. DermaDoctor’s KP Duty scrub and cream. They are expensive but they cleared up my arms completely after YEARS of exfoliating, lotions, crushed-up aspirin, you name it. (Available online I think, and from Selfridge’s).
    2. Eucerin lotion (about £13 for a big bottle). I started using this to see if it would work for me as the KP cream was really too expensive. Unlike the KP cream, which seemed to allow the bumps to return after a couple of days of non-use, the Eucerin seems to have maintained the effect. I used it every day for a few months, and now I only use it every now and again. I no longer need to mess about with loads of exfoliation etc and I don’t get self-conscious about my arms. Good luck – KP is a real confidence-crusher, I hope you get it sorted out.

    Armpits: waxing is do-able. When I have a bath in the evening (so don’t need to put on deodorant) I always put body lotion under my arms and I think it stops the skin getting dry and irritated.

    Body lotion: Lush’s Dream Cream is the business. It’s better than more expensive brands I have tried, smells lovely and won’t irritate your skin.

    Hope this helps!

  52. I’m a medical student and I’ve seen so many people during my dermatology and GP placements that have had amazing results from going on Dianette. Definitely agree with Rebecca to go to your GP, and if need be get them to refer you to a dermatologist. Life is too short to be made miserable by spotty skin!

  53. Naomi how I love your writing you are so funny!
    This is such a great post and i am looking forward to having time at the weekend to read all of these comments as the look like great advice and I am a beauty product addict 🙂

  54. thanks for all your recommendations from Dianette. I already had an appointment booked with my GP about my skin issues before this post and with all your info I asked her if a change of pill could make any difference and am now at work with a stash of Dianette in my bag! Fingers crossed it makes a difference, but thanks ladies xx

  55. Okay, chipping in on legs – I get some sort of eczema/psoriasis on my legs (GP keeps changing his mind which) which is much worse in the winter and I find the Body Shop Vitamin E body butter is really good at keeping it in check.

    I’m also taking max dose Evening Primrose Oil which was receommended to me – too soon to tell what the effect will be.

  56. I’m back…chipping in again. This sounds so diva-ish, and very Liz Taylor, but I am thinking of investing in a silk pillowcase. Apparantly, I will no longer wake up with dried out, creased skin and my hair will no longer be a frizzy knotty mess circa 7am. Something to do with cotton pillowcases ‘wicking’ away moisture?

    Anyway, will report back on how it goes. x

  57. Kerastase Masquintensse !! It is honestly the only thing EVER that made my hair soft and shiny. I love Kerastase products. I also used the therma protect stuff before drying my hair and its amazng for the shine. And you can definately get it cheaper online – try lookfantastic.com. x

  58. Naomi…definitely do NOT go in drunk…or hungover..it will hurt like hell!! Its like getting your ears pierced. it hurts for a milisecond and then…your done! Totally do it! x

  59. An uber cheap uber old school tip for dry skin is an oatmeal bath. I have one once a week in the winter months when my skin goes a little bit nuts.

    Just put a cup of oatmeal into the toe of some (clean!) tights, hook it over the hot taps so the water flows through while your bath is running. Have a gentle exfoliate while you are in there and plonk some baby/almond oil on after. Zero chemicals and really effective.

    The water goes all lovely and milky and you get to feel like cleopatra or the queen of Sheba or whoever it was.

    Fair warning: any bloke type person who walks in will be very very confused as to why you are sat in a bath that smells like digestives!

    I don’t often get spots as my skin erra if the stupidly pink and reactive and dry school of skin issues. I would agree with the aspirin option though! The salicylic acid is used in several skin treatments (just read the back). I also tend to put good old fashioned germolene on. The pink (sticky stingy) version has zinc in which will also dry them put as well as being antibacterial.

    I am loving all you RMW real brides! Feels like a massive girls lunch on this site! All gossip and well wishing and tips!


  60. Legs-Do try Kiehls Dreme De Corps. It IS expensive btu I’d read about it for years and finally bought a bottle the other month and it is just LOVELY. Gets rid of all those scaly patches in about four days. 🙂

  61. armpits – laser removal – the ONLY way to go!

    also, not only up the water, but quit the tea and coffee – its sooo hard but deffo worth it!

  62. Firstly – good luck on your big day!

    Secondly – the only way to get great skin and healthy hair is to follow a balanced diet rich in all the right foods (including the right kind of fats) and drinking lots of water. Stay off the caffeine, stay off the refined sugars and keep to healthy fats such as nuts and avocadoes. This is the only thing that works for me!

  63. some one may have already said this but Head and Shoulders shampoo does wonders for a spotty back… it’s full of zinc you see, I would not recommend using it on more sensitive skin like your face though!

  64. IPL on my underarms has really worked for me… hardly need to shave now and there’s no shadow and I have just had 2 treatments. I have 2 more before W day. you need to be careful with fake tan though around that area.

    All the Morroconoil is amazing i cant live without it now and also a protein spray called DFI which is great for blonde highlighted hair.

    Kehils creme de corps and kehils oatmeal scrub. going to try that kerestase now…

    I’m trying lots of herbal teas as well as water… and loads of supplements but not sure they are making my skin any better

  65. Hello! ok so on the underarm region debate (I hate the AP word too), DEFINITELY go for the wax! I am really sensitive to razors and so tried waxing for the first time last year and was really impressed. Leave it about 5 days before the wedding as you don’t want red blotches but it will be smooth and no rash/shadow like razors leave. Try aloevera GEL (not cream) on it post wax to calm the area.

    As for dry skin, I don’t have this problem but my sister really suffers, she finds the only moisturiser that leaves any moisture is the bodyshop’s olive body butter. I kid you not she stocks up on it in sale season.

    As for the upperarms, hate to tell you lot this but its only through healthy eating (lots of iron filled greens like brocolli and spinich) can you loose those blotches. Also try some gentle weights- the exercise will encourage blood circulation in the area bonus = more toned upper arms.

    Naomi, I know you are married now and I’m a bit late with the advice (I hope you had a lovely lovely day and are completely in wedded bliss) but I’m sure there are plenty of other brides out there with the same issues as the rest of us! : )

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