What Naomi Did… Saving Grace (And Dates.)

6 months and 14 days to go.

This is according to my new iWedding Planner. On my new iPhone. A contract entered into sheerly for my own wedding planning pleasure. I’m not kidding. I got a new phone and sold my soul to the 24 month contract devil, just so I could plan my wedding. I needed direct access to my photographers replying email and RMW’s new post immediately whilst getting my morning cup of rooibos tea on my way to work.

Oh God! I had become one of those people.

I spent a lot of all of my time looking at blogs, magazines, design websites, twitter links, wedding planning books, ebay, hair and make up tutorials… the list could go on, but I won’t.
Basically, I had become a wedding planning machine.

But it had to stop.

It got to a stage that I was spending all my waking hours bombarding my mind with imagery, hints, tips, stories, how to’s and ideas. My social life began to suffer, so did my work and most importantly my relationship. Gavin would come home to see the back of my head and my face glued to some sexy little wedding blog… “oooh look at that table plan!”. I became such a sentimental sausage that I would whole heartedly weep at tacky wedding shows and throw hissy fits at the slightest mention of changing the guest list. It had become clear, that I was exhausted.

So I had a detox. A wedding planning detox. I stepped away from the computer, I recycled the magazines and I spent some time with a note book. I wrote down what was important to Gavin and I, what we wanted for our day and for our marriage.

I realised a lot of things in this time. I realised that all of the beautiful images I was looking at were in fact making me feel inferior, under pressure and in many ways inadequate. They were also firing up some kind of need to be original, quirky and produce never-seen-before details for the wedding. I was putting myself under immense pressure and didn’t even realise it. So I had a breather. I spent time with friends, I spent time with Gavin and I allowed myself just a few glances at my favourite blogs.

This little break worked a treat. I regained my focus and my passion for OUR wedding! I could now look at blogs and other folks weddings with admiration and grace, rather than jealousy and some kind of competitive compulsion to do better. With the weight of my own expectations lifted from my shoulders, I became more creative than ever.

I hit the ground running and began designing our save the dates. I wanted to give people something that they would use, something that they would look at regularly and keep as a token. One of the sweetest things Gavin ever did for me was at dinner one night. He listed all of the books he had fallen in love with and wanted me to read on a piece of paper, then folded it and gave it to me. Two years on this is still my bookmark. In honour of this romantic notion I decided to design bookmarks for our guests. So with Photoshop on my side, I set about them like a bear eating beans.

I had so much fun making these and am genuinely proud of my efforts. I have had lovely feedback from family and friends. It excites me so much to actually be DOING stuff now, instead of planning to do stuff. I think that the planning side can really take over. Don’t get me wrong, I still love my wedding porn. I am also still constantly inspired by images I see. But I feel much more fluffy about it all now. Happy and content with our own efforts and not pressurised by those of others.

Since what I like to call “the wedding melt down” I have become at peace with the fact that not everything we plan will be noticed, not everything we try will work and not everything we do will be original. But it will be ours.

Ever The Recovering Psycho,


P.S. Here’s a sneaky peeky of what my next post has to offer.

Author: Becky Sappor
Becky is at her happiest when dunking a slightly chilled chocolate digestive into a very warm, very milky cup of tea. She also loves her job and pinches herself every day to make sure that she isn’t in a graphic design dreamworld.

38 thoughts on “What Naomi Did… Saving Grace (And Dates.)

  1. Great post and amazing save the dates! What a great and very original way of doing them. I want to see more…sneaky peak is not enough! xx

  2. Wowee and I thought I was in love with our save the date’s! They are faboo and as I am self-confessed book nerd, I am very jealous of them!

    Another great post – and also tres honest. The exact same thing happened to me around this time last year and I had to have a break too. Like you said, it was the best thing that could be done.

    Glad you have got your mojo back! xoxo

  3. love the save the dates, and the memory behind them!

    Its great you took a step back to remember what the whole day is about!

    great post xxxx

  4. Loving these Save the Dates!! to pretty.

    And that B&W photo, swooon.

    I know all about the wedding meltdown.. I’m three weeks and 1 day to go and I have a permanently cold nervous tummy at the very thought. I think my wedding melt down might be upon me…

    Can’t wait for more!

  5. Ok I just made a noise somewhere between a stuck pig and my alarm clock. They are genuinely the best save the dates I have ever seen. Ever. I am a total book gimp and would LOVE to receive one of these. And not only are they stylish, and useful, but they are FUNNY too.

    Also – dying to see more of that sneak peek.

    Um…yeah….I like this post. Can you tell?!?

  6. What a great post – glad to know I’m not the only one who had the ‘wedding meltdown’. I had the same experience of feeling the pressure of planning an ‘original’ and ‘quirky’ wedding.
    But like all bridezilla’s, (eventually) you do realize it’s not about the colour of the napkins that will make your wedding great, it’s about doing it your way, and sod the rest.
    It’s hard to admit but not everyone will think you’re wedding is the best one they have ever been to, but as long as you think it’s the great you’re on the right track.
    Keep smiling all Brides-to-Be, it’ll be worth it when we finally get there!

  7. I too am having wedding meltdown and need to learn to ‘STEP AWAY FROM THE WEBSITES/MAGAZINES/PLANNERS/DVD DEMOS/BLOGS….etc’. However won’t be stepping away from anything until I get to see the rest of your sneak peek!! Beautiful save the dates. Kxx

  8. Beautiful save the dates! I am also incredibly jealous – esp like the heart punch detail. My fiance and I used to work in a bookstore together so also opted for DIY bookmark save the dates (great minds think alike!). Spookily, our wedding is the day after yours on Saturday 28 May 2011 and you have just made me aware we have 6 months and 15 days – eeep! Look forward to your next post x

  9. I didn’t know how to explain the stomach churning anxiety/envy of beautiful weddings I’d seen on blogs/panic that ours would not even come close/over saturation of wedding porn.

    But Naomi has described my wedding meltdown perfectly and I’m so glad I’m not the only one… my poor fiance had to ask me if I even still loved him as I spent so much time on wedding blogs rather than paying any attention to him!

    I TOTALLY agree that by DOING stuff rather than PLANNING for it, totally removes all anxiety as you finally realise you’re underway with the task!

    Gorgeous save the dates by the way – another little bit of wedding envy creeping in – but ours is in two weeks so too late for me to change a thing!


  10. I totally agree with this post. I’m not even half way through and I already feel like I have a lot to live up in making my wedding original/ quirky/ amazing. Thanks Naomi, and I love the colours, was thinking along similar lines myself!

  11. Corrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! This is the stuff! Well done, Naomi, for stepping away from the madness! And just look at the result for doing so. Simples, beautiful and to steal a Mahj-ism, ‘woweeeee’! Stunning!

    Everyone executes things in their own personal way – and it’s absolutely amazing how the wedding ideas flow when the pressure is off! Let it all evolve, let it all be yours and HAVE FUN! Your wedding will be the best ever because it’s yours, all yours! xxx

  12. “Your wedding will be the best ever because it’s yours, all yours”
    Awww, LizzieMC that’s the Best. Comment. Ever.
    Have got two weeks to go and that’s just made the ever-present butterflies do a little extra flip 🙂
    Fab post, too – sums up the planning craziness perfectly. xx

  13. Yay! I’m not the only one who refers to it as wedding porn! I literally am addicted to drooling over all the pictures on here and magazines of other people’s weddings! A friend did actually look at me rather strangely the other day when I said I was worried that Nik (fiance) might be getting ignored a bit too much because all I want to do is look at my wedding porn every evening!

    Loving the bookmark idea! x

  14. Eeekk what gorgeous save the date cards, I adore them!! I would be thrilled if I ever received one like that and such a great keepsake, I might have to store that idea for my friend who loves to read if her man ever pops the question, hope that’s ok!! Great post and makes me think back to how I was on the verge of that total absortion with our wedding that other things began to suffer, well done on taking a step back!! Can’t wait to see more xx

  15. Excellent post! You’re right, planning does totally consume your life! I think I’m in a similar situation right now with lots of ideas swimming round my head but little concrete organised. My fiance is always coming into a room to see me with my head in a wedding magazine or waking up to find me sat in bed looking at dresses, flowers, blogsetc on the internet. I think a step back to think about the basics is probably a very good idea. Thanks for the inspiration!

    Also, I absolutely LOVE your save the dates! Such a fab idea and the coloured ribbons are gorgeous. How did you get them made? I’m very tempted to steal your idea but think perhaps I should think about something my fiance has done in our past with the same lovely memories attached!


  16. I could have written that myself, but probably not as eloquently! Such gorgeous STD’s – can I ask where you got the heart punch from??


  17. i am totally hearting those save the dates (partly cos they’re AWESOME and partly because I spy my chosen wedding font on them!!)

    i am so with you all on the wedding porn, it gets out of hand if you let it and the pressure to deliver the fun/quirky/crafty/original etc just gets unbearable

    r.now x x x

  18. Love the Save the Dates. I also recognise the stuff you mention in your post re:wedding planning taking over so I only really read this blog now and a couple of others that send an email. Feels much better!

  19. Bonjourno!!

    Apologies for my late commenting, I have friends staying and wanted to dedicate a bit of time to properly read all your comments.

    Yeehaa! Once again delighted that you like it!

    Anna K – you kill me… every time. Thanks lovely xo

    Abi – Heart Punch comes from Hobby Craft. about £2.49-ish.

    Rebecca – Thank you muchly! No pressure, eh?

    As for the how did I do it comments, it goes a little something like this:

    -Designed on Photoshop, you can fit 5 on an A4 page.

    -Got them printed on really thick card in a cheap wee place. (They also guillotined them for me) 70 for £16.

    -Hole Punched them and looped ribbon through the heart.

    et voila!! A bookmark is born. Very simple and cost effective.

    For those of you tempted to do something similar, by all means! To be honest, the idea probably came from someone else’s bit of eye candy subconsciously stored in my mind. So feel free to bend it and make it your own. I’m quite flattered to be providing a touch of inspiration for some of you!

    You are all total peaches and I am massively grateful for your support.

    Excited for my next post already! xoxoxo

  20. Naomi totally get the wedding planning burnout! Have been feeling it myself lately, just fancy a few wedding free days, but emails keep coming in!
    Lovely save the dates, there are some really original ones around right now, have you seen the little sewn book ones? Can’t remember where I saw them!

  21. Sorry for the epic comment but I’ve been mulling over your post for a few days…
    I loved your post and really felt for you with the whole wedding meltdown thing! I went through something similar, but I think you have to remember that for all the people who aren’t immersed in the world of wedding blogs, most of the things you do are original and different. I’m hiring proper old fashioned crockery for my wedding next year – which I love, even though I thought maybe the whole vintage wedding thing had been done to death. When I told one of my friends her first reaction to was to exclaim: “What a lovely idea! I’ve never been to a wedding before where they did that” (and she’s been to a lot!)
    So bear in mind that whatever you do WILL be original because it will be yours – just look at those gorgeous bookmarks. As a librarian I am totally coveting them 🙂

  22. It’s like you’re reading my mind. Apart from the fact I haven’t yet reached the light bulb moment! But this gives me hope! :0)

    LOVE your S.T.D’s – superb! xx

  23. Naomi, this is kind of off topic but I love your outfit in that picture, can we have details?! Love the pic and love the Save the Dates! They are super fab xxx

  24. Thanks so much ladies!

    TigerTea – You are so right! We get snow blind with all the pretty out there and totally forget that most people aren’t tuned into the wedding world.

    Amy – Its a camel Lipsy Coat, Brown Primark belt, Primark tights, woolen stripey socks and a wee pair of brown New Look boots. Litterally what I was wearing to work that day, so nothing that special, in fact I felt a bit underdressed so thank you!

    Made my wee day 🙂

  25. Ooh yay, thank you! Although, argh I cannot find the coat on the Lipsy website, is it this season? Sorry to be a total stalker!! 🙂 Must own the coat! xx

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