Getting engaged is such an exciting time. But when it comes to planning out the formal roles in a wedding sometimes they fill up so quickly, or there might be some awkward conversations with family members or friends who assume they are going to be more involved in the day than they actually are. We’ve had several requests to come up with some informal roles in a wedding to help guests feel involved. Here are some roles you can assign to people you’d like to include in your big day in an informal way.

Alternative roles in a wedding for friends and family!

Wedding Readings

Do you know someone with a great speaking voice? They'd be the perfect person to do a reading! If you know children that are keen to help out, but you're not having flower girls or page boys, then ask their parents if they'd like to do a reading. While this can be terrifying for grown-ups, children present to their peers frequently and nerves don't seem to bother them half as much as us adults. Equally, if you were planning on asking a bridesmaid, usher, or another member of the wedding party to do a reading, think about relieving them from other duties by asking someone else! We have poemssong lyrics, and readings from booksmovies and TV shows, so they'll be something to suit your wedding and the person reading.

Flower Girls and Page Boys

Children love having an official task to do and simply walking down the aisle holding your train is enough. But for older ones, consider giving them a funny sign to hold, a disposable camera to capture the day, or get them to be in charge of making sure people sign the guest book. You may well end up with a book full of beautiful drawings, but it'll be really special. If the issue is that you don't want someone's child to be a flower girl or page boy, then you'll need to be honest. An early word with their parents will make things clear and by the time the wedding comes around, they will have forgotten all about it. If it's going to cause difficulties, consider letting the child be part of the wedding party but meeting at the church, rather than joining you to get ready. Plus, you don't always have to have children...get ready for flower dudes! We love this idea!

Confetti Moment

Handing out confetti is normally the responsibility of the ushers, but if you have an awkward teen or pre-teen who is not quite a bridesmaid, but definitely not a flower girl, consider asking them to be in charge of making sure everyone has confetti. Whether they place individual packets on seats or hand out cones as people leave the church, this is still an important job that will make them feel included.

Order of Service Distributor

Similarly, this is sometimes a job left to the usher/s. But to ease the pressure or to get more people involved, those beautiful order of service cards you've had printed will need to be set out too. This is a great job for someone who really wants to be helpful. Again either place one on each chair or hand out the cards to guests as they arrive.

Champagne Pourer or MC For Wedding Speeches

Is there a person in the family or a friend that really knows how to project their voice? Well, someone needs to MC or herd people around on the day. It can be really helpful to have someone introduce people before they speak as a kind of hype man. And don't forget, someone will need to pour champagne for the toasts if you're having more of a low-key/DIY wedding. This is a great job for those who want to take on some behind-the-scenes usher duties. And while we're on the subject of speeches, if you're asking people to do these tasks - make sure you thank them in the speeches!


If someone wants to do a reading but they have an irritating voice? Maybe they want to be a bridesmaid but you've filled your bridal party...Instead, work out what the person is good at and ask if they can contribute to your wedding day in another way. Perhaps they are a whizz in the kitchen and could help you make some edible favours? Or even your cake? If anyone has crafty talents, get them involved in making your place names or decor. The roles in a wedding are wide and varied so you can play to everyone's strengths.

With these informal roles in a wedding, you'll be able to fit all your nearest and dearest into your special day!

We know this is much easier said than done, but if you're planning a wedding without a planner, then having family and friends in informal roles in your wedding will be lots of help. Hopefully, the ideas above will help you with making suggestions for other things they could do. There are so many roles in a wedding and things to help with that no one needs to feel left out, even if they aren't part of the official wedding party. Speaking of wedding parties, if you've picked your bridesmaids we're here to help! Here's how to ask 'Will you be my bridesmaid'?

Leah Blundell

Written by Leah Blundell

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