Planning

Proposal: A success. Engagement: Announced. Champagne: Popped. All there is to do now is to plan your dream wedding! Among the congratulations and well wishes from loved ones, there is a whirlwind of questions: have you set a date? What’s your colour scheme? Have you thought about flowers? The rose-tinted glasses from your recent engagement may start to fade, with wedding stress and anxiety setting in.

HOW DOES WEDDING STRESS AFFECT US?

In the short term, wedding stress can be useful – it drives us to make quick decisions and focus better. However long-term stress can be detrimental to our health, prompting skin breakouts, insomnia, anxiety, depression, tiredness, gut problems (yep!), a weaker immune system and poor memory & information retention. Not exactly what you need when planning your big day.

Firstly – don’t panic! While you may have heard a few horror stories, it’s important to go into wedding planning with a positive attitude, you’ve got a lot to look forward to! Below are our top organisational and wellness tips to beat wedding stress.

HAS YOUR WEDDING BEEN AFFECTED BY CORONAVIRUS?

We have created separate articles for those who have had to make the painful choice to postpone their wedding day, or make new COVID secure wedding plans, which can be extremely stressful in itself. We're here for you every step of the way.

READ MORE

LOOKING AFTER YOUR MENTAL HEALTH

Repeat after me: when you’re feeling your best, you’re less likely to stress. When it feels like your brain has too many tabs open, it’s easy for wedding planning to become all consuming. Setting boundaries is key to avoid burnout. Not only should you still be making time for your hobbies and seeing friends, but make sure you take time out to spend as a couple! Because who better to spend time with when feeling overwhelmed than your fiancée? Let people know how you're feeling; you may want to talk about wedding stress or just forget the whole thing for a week (maybe even a month!).

It’s easy to get stuck in a scroll hole, so take regular tech breaks. Avoiding your phone before bedtime and sticking to a regular routine will settle your mind and ensure you get high quality rest.

Regular exercise is not only good for your physical health but your mental health too! Even if it’s just a quick dance around the kitchen, moving your body will release all of that built up tension and wedding stress. Yoga is especially good for finding your inner zen. There’s plenty of online resources on the benefits of mindful meditation, or even the power of simple breathing techniques to relieve anxiety.

Being ‘hangry’ is a real thing. Your gut and brain are very closely linked, which is why it’s important to fuel yourself with a healthy, balanced diet (with a few treats thrown in too) to keep your brain functioning and avoid, you guessed it, wedding stress. Absolutely NO crash diets on our watch.

SET YOUR INTENTIONS TO AVOID WEDDING STRESS

It may seem obvious but communicate with your partner from the very beginning. If you’re on the same page it avoids potential hurdles months down the line. Are there any details or elements of the wedding that are important to them? What are you both willing to compromise on? Are you tackling the organising together or is someone taking the lead? Iron out these details early on.

FROM TO DO, TO I DO

Some of us love being organised, while others prefer to see how things turn out. When it comes to beating wedding stress, your blood pressure will thank you for keeping on top of your to-do list. Set aside some time in your weekly schedule where you can realistically focus on wedding planning. You may prefer doing a little every day or blocking out your weekend and powering through. To avoid becoming overwhelmed, compartmentalise your weekly planning targets with smaller to-do lists. Don’t put things off, if there’s a task that you’re dreading deal with it sooner rather than later so you can enjoy yourself when it comes to the fun stuff!

Hiring suppliers that are local to you, or your venue, using our trusted supplier index can often mean smoother sailing in the run up to the wedding (and on the day) in case any mishaps occur. Ultimately, it’s important to be flexible no matter how organised you are, as sometimes things just go pear shaped. All you can do is have backup plans where possible, know your refund policies and double check the lead times for any companies you plan to work with so there’s no unpleasant surprises down the line.

Speaking of surprises, if you’re trying out a new hairstyle or going in for some personal grooming, book an appointment a few weeks in advance in case it goes... horribly wrong, giving you some time to perfect any details to rock your wedding day look!

THINK SMALL

Short on time? Keeping things small and simple can really help to alleviate wedding stress if you’ve only got a few months to organise the ‘big’ day. Micro weddings are becoming increasingly popular as they’re budget friendly, intimate and great for those who just can’t wait to say ‘I do’! A short time frame can also help to focus your mind as there’s no time to overthink, it’s all systems go! Our printable wedding checklists are a great resource for those wanting some expert guidance.

If that isn't small enough for you, you can always elope! Many couples are opting to ditch wedding planning altogether and celebrate their love in a private ceremony. This is a great option for those who suffer from social anxiety and dread the thought of all eyes on them.

ADD FUNDS TO YOUR GIFT LIST

If budgeting is adding to your wedding stress, plenty of gift lists such as The Wedding Shop, Prezola and The Wedding Present Company also offer honeymoon donations and cash funds as gifts.

CHOOSE A GIFT LIST

BUDGETING AND WEDDING STRESS

Some of our favourite weddings have been put together for under 5k. The RMW blog and Pinterest boards are great resources for DIY decorations, you’d be surprised at what you can make yourself! Opting to make most, if not all, of your décor isn’t only budget friendly, it’s sustainable too. RMW’s Becky and Charlotte recommend looking around your house for inspiration, using what you already have, scouring local charity shops, and borrowing from friends and family.

It’s fine to have a few ‘treat yo’ self’ moments (you are celebrating, after all!) but if you know you’re on a strict budget, exceeding it could cause more anxiety in the long run. Remember, the wedding is temporary, your marriage is forever! Starting married life not totally broke will really add to the honeymoon bliss. At the end of the day, what’s important is that you have each other. Try not to compare your wedding to others; every wedding is personal to those getting married, so you will always have the right wedding for YOU.

STRESSING ABOUT YOUR GUEST LIST

Often, the guest list is what those getting married dread the most. Distant relatives start crawling out of the woodwork and a friend expects an invite for the person they’ve been dating for two weeks. How do you tell someone they can’t come to your wedding? There’s no simple answer, but if things get awkward just be calm and be considerate, yet firm. Remember the Rock My Wedding motto: YOUR DAY YOUR WAY! It’s hard to not get dragged into every family feud when the wedding literally revolves around you, but trust that when the day comes people will only be thinking of your happiness.


A few final pearls of wisdom: wedding day nerves are normal! Just remember the power of taking three deep breaths to alleviate any wedding stress on day. Inevitably, there will be mix-ups. Someone eats another guest's dietary required meal, uninvited guests appear, or the weather isn’t on your side. Lean into the madness. As irritating as it is when someone tells you to just ‘go with the flow’, most things can be fixed. For situations truly beyond your control, there is no point worrying about what you can’t change. Remember: you’ve totally got this.

Written by Georgia Gallant

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