Apart from “I love you” and “I do” these to me are the most important, significant and meaningful words my husband has ever said to me.
Before I begin I just want you to know that this isn’t a post about wedding pretty, there will be no delicious details or inspirational ideas for you to steal and for that I apologise.
What it is is a piece about marriage. And not a perfect idealistic marriage either. It’s about a marriage where there have been a series of major highs, some memorable lows, sacrifice, compromise and unexpected change.
I guess what I’m saying is it’s a piece about real marriage and the only one I have any experience of and therefore feel I have the knowledge to write about is my own.
So then here goes…..*deep breath*
For those of you who don’t know I met James on a blind date just over eight years ago – interestingly he was actually supposed to be a fireman called Matt whom cancelled a few days before. I won’t lie and tell you I wasn’t a little disappointed to discover Mr skilled-with-giant-hose was going to be a no-show (I was, the shallow Madam that I am) but I am a firm believer in fate and Mr O’Shea was (excuse the potential mush here folks)….the most beautiful man I ever saw.
I’m sure our pre-married relationship was similar to the majority of yours, enjoying amazing holidays, spending time with friends, moving in together, moving again (erm…seven times anyone?) and generally loving spending as much time as we possibly could together.
And we, like the fairytales and the romance novels and the films where it all ends in that big kissing cresendo thought once we were joined together in holy matrimony it would carry on much like before.
Only it didn’t. Because the rose-tinted vision of us both carrying on climbing our chosen career ladders and starting a family became a distant memory once I decided that actually, my life-long dream was to start my own company and I was going to work my butt off to make it happen.
James didn’t sign up to a partnership where we would go for weeks with barely seeing each other, we would need to refuse endless nights out offers from friends and every holiday would be spent with me glued to my iPhone or tapping away on my laptop.
It has been way less than ideal.
And then came what is now fondly* known at RMW HQ, in the O’Shea household and amongst our nearest and dearest as “The Black Summer”.
Several unexpected events occurred in June 2011, Adam and I entered into what was probably the most intense project of our “day job” to date, a multi- million pound take-over that saw us working significantly longer hours than usual and not having a spare second to think about RMW until we were in the car and on the way home, when to be honest all I wanted to do was fall into bed.
At the same time as aforementioned project we also got hacked, and then a third of our team left. The future was seemingly not filled with sunshine and prosperity.
But we carried on regardless and did the best we could, sometimes not sleeping for a few days in a row. And this was possibly the hardest time of all for James and I, I don’t think anyone can wave their hands in the air and say they are a whole bunch of fun when they are tired, irritable and look like death. I certainly wasn’t.
And then our readership dropped by 35%. Or at least it looked like it had, even on the holy grail of blog statistic measurements that is Google Analytics. So for a few months we felt like we were failing, where had everyone gone? there was simply no option for us to work any harder than we already were and after basking in the glow that continual growth and subsequent success brings you I don’t mind admitting it was a bitter pill to swallow.
There was a defining moment though. Me, a crumpled deflated heap on the living room floor, feeling sorry for myself and looking back, more than a little defeatist and James, looking at me intently and frowning.
James: I know this whole situation is unbelievably shi*e right now but I promise it will get better.
Me (possible wailing): But how do you know that?
James: Because I’ve seen how hard you’ve worked and all the crap you’ve put up with and it might seem that you’re at your lowest point right now you still get up every day and throw everything you’ve got into that website and you bloody deserve for it to be a success.
Me (increased wailing) : But I just can’t see how we can do anymore than we are already…..and I know these last few years have been a great deal less than perfect and I just feel like I’m letting everyone down…
James: Who are you letting down? only yourself if you don’t pull yourself together and get the hell on with turning this situation on its head rather than just moping about it…
Me (Major wailing): But that sounds so harsh! I really am trying so hard and I just need you to support me…
James: I am supporting you, every step of the way, I love you, I respect you and and I want to spend the rest of my life with you but most of all I believe in you, I have always believed in you.
And that lovelies was all I needed to hear. Because he is my rock. My shoulder to cry on, my piece of tough when the rough gets going. The one constant ray of hope and light when everything else appears dark and bleak. He’s got my back. And I’ve got his.
And you know what? He was right. Turns out when our hosting providers moved over to some kind of cloud-web thingamy (no idea – ask Adam) all of our links and searches broke and we didn’t even realise. Imagine your website or blog having to get back all of the search engine rankings it has achieved in that last two years because it essentially went to zero – that’s what happened to us.
As it happens once we got “fixed” (again no clue – Adam did try and explain but I was lost after the first five minutes of explanation) it transpired our readership had in fact grown substantially, in the last six months the amount of you lovelies visiting RMW has doubled and after taking the reins of all things ‘social media’ our Twitter followers and Facebook fans have trebled.
We’re doing alright Jack.
But actually I just want to say a few things about that. Because as well as we’ve done and as much as we’ve achieved I just want to do the whole “proud wife” thing and say a few words about what my husband has achieved whilst he has been supporting your truly in following her dreams:
James has worked really hard, he’s fulfilled his progress ambitions for the last six months and continues to excel in his chosen field. I never questioned that he would of course – I believe in him as much as he believes in me. And I know he will continue to kick some serious property development ass regardless of the current economic climate or the fact that so many of his so-called “contemporaries” have told him that he can’t.
And I will go on supporting him and believing in him until death do us part because that’s what I signed up for.
Marriage isn’t a bed of roses or a 24/7 state of euphoria, sometimes it’s bloody hard work. But it is always, always worth it.
Promise.
And on that note I guess I should explain what all these images are about….
During “The Black Summer” Polly Alexandre asked if James and I would ponce around London for the American master of film Jonathan Canlas and his FIND (film is not dead) workshop. I of course said yes and may have told Mr O’Shea a little white lie about it being a very small shoot with just a few photographers….not walking around the streets of London with several hundred of the great British public.
And when I told him I would then be posting them on RMW to accompany this post he said:
“Oh no, you’re not going to use the one where I look like I’ve got a chin like Bruce Forsyth are you?”
Me: “Don’t be silly of course not, besides I think you look extraordinarily handsome in all of the pictures…”
Now, I said all you needed for a happy (albeit real) marriage was love and belief, I didn’t say you couldn’t tell some small fibs along the way if absolutely necessary…
Next week I have some news on a rather time-consuming but significant “project” we have been working on behind the scenes that has finally come to a stage where we can share.
And just in case this post has in anyway made you doubt our commitment to RMW (I tried my best to provide an honest and open account without appearing wishy washy) then please, please don’t, we’re here all guns blazing for 2012 and beyond.
Would love to know from those of you still planning, or those of you that are already married, any similar situations you may have been party to or any career-changing plans that have occurred unexpectedly during your relationship.
Big Thanks A Million For Sticking With Us Through The Rough Love
Charlotte xxx
*it is fondly know as “The Black Summer” because as rubbish as it seemed at the time, it was without doubt the best thing that ever happened to us – all will be revealed next week folks.
Great, honest and touching post Charlotte. I’m sure I speak for the whole community when I say we’re all so grateful for the effort you and Adam put into this site, and of the support from your loved ones for keeping you on track during the not-so-rosy times. Where would we be with RMW?! The weddings on these polka dot pages inspire with every post, you’re doing an amazing job xx
Well 10.01 I first checked back on here for this post…have read it 3 times as been crying too much! Maybe its because I’m ill and only have 45 days (arhh!) till my wedding or maybe its just because it was a really sad story…either way I have no advice but just want to say I love RMW! Keep doing what your doing and I have no doubt I will continue to check post wedding…maybe even in 46 days time
Enjoyed that post Charlotte. Plus the pictures are just stunning. What a handsome couple you are!
Ain’t nothing wrong with a Brucie Bonus Mr O’Shea…
On a more serious note…thanks sooooooo much for sharing this, Charlotte.
I was only saying to one of my friends the other day that maybe I shouldn’t be getting married…When she asked me why (and in horror stressed that she had already found a 1930s style red jumpsuit to wear) I explained that at this stage all other brides to be seem to be waxing lyrical about how flipping amazing their life is, how gorgeous their future husband and how everything is as rosy as a big bunch of David Austins…
Now, I blinking well love the Big C to pieces, but seriously, we have a relationship where maybe a couple of times a day I want to throw something at his pretty little ‘I look like a boy from Hollyoaks’ and wear very cool trainers made by brands you haven’t even heard of and I will moan if you put your knife in my personal jar of peanut butter face…because he can drive me round the bend like nobody else can, and boy does he do that! In fact, we missed our marriage lesson with the vicar because we were having a bit of a screamer…oops!
But, and here I reference my sunflowers and glitter story of a few months back, (no more crying folks!), I know we’ve scrabbled and crawled our way through some pretty bad times, and if the boy with the Hollyoaks face can scrabble and crawl next to me, I reckon we should be OK! Right?!
And on the work you put into RMW…I’m not surprised that Mr O’Shea is tres proud of you because it’s the best site going! We’re naming tables after our icons at the wedding and the Big C even said are we going to have to have a RMW one…!!!!?? Erm, yeah…between Stevie Nicks and Karl Lagerfeld!
xoxo
This is such a touching story – made me tearful! Your hard work has definitely paid off and it’s a great example to all of us Brides-to-be that there will be tough times and you need to work together and support each other and you will get to the other side!
Thanks again for all you do for us – the daily inspiration and advice really does mean a lot to so many people!! xx
What a brilliant post and one that I can totally relate to.
Starting up a business has most definitely had an impact on our marriage and, like you, there have been major highs & major lows over the last year.
We had a bit of a “black winter” but we are safely through to the other side and looking forward to a successful year ahead.
Thanks for sharing this Charlotte, it’s comforting to know that other people go through the same old stuff we do. xx
Oh Charlotte, i know you were worried about posting this but its wonderful! *So* well written and honest. The photos are also so so beautiful.
Marriage can be hard, running your own business IS hard and doing them together is bloody near on impossible…I don’t really have anything else to add except I love ya and Im so pleased you finally posted these photos!
I totally get it. Apparently my default phrase these days is “Sorry I’m a bad wife.”
Charlotte and Adam – you are absolutely ruddy amazing – this website is amazing 100%. FACT. And it is a beautiful account of what really counts in a relationship and makes me ever grateful that my man has always supported my career (or other general more scatterbrained ideas) despite meaning sometimes i’m as friendly as a grizzly bear or living miles apart for days/weeks and sometimes months at a time.
Pamela, I had a Rock My Wedding table at my wedding (almost two years ago!) Yes I still visit RMW everyday even though I got married such a long time ago, because I love this blog.
Charlotte you gorgeous little lady, it’s nice to see you open up. Too many peeps out there trying to make out that they lived happily ever after. There’s no such thing. And I’m all for a bit of ‘keeping it real’ honesty.
Big hugs
Teresa xx
@Cloggins- I say the exact same thing.
Frank and honest as usual, Charlotte. That’s why I love this blog over 10 months since my big day came and went. There’s surely no better feeling when the person that you love the most has faith in you when yours has escaped.
Seems like the future’s bright and polka dot shaped! You deserve every success Xx
Just as I came to the end of this post my future husband came in and did a little dance, then left the room without a word. Just thought I’d share that with the world.
I love how much he believes in me sometimes, especially when I don’t believe in myself. And I always be grateful for the day he came with me to an interview to help keep me calm, even though I ended up not getting the job, his having done that really helped me. I just hope that he understands how much I appreciate him and support him back. I might have to go give him a hug now.
What a wonderful post! My husband is my pillar, my rock, my everything. What an amazing feeling it is to know you have someone like that in your life. It is so worth it, your site is awesome and long may it continue
I love this post, thank you for sharing it Charlotte. It’s exactly the reason marriage exists. You are a stunning couple, clearly personally and externally (seriously stunning photos, you are both so modelesque!)
RMW is the best blog out there and you should be proud that enabled others to work towards the wedding (and marriage) of their dreams. I have always loved it because it is not about trends, luxe brands, blatant advertisements etc etc, but about real women, real couples and real marriages. Can’t wait to continue to watch it grow… I have been married 6 months now and still check this site everyday!! Thats says enough really. xxx
Charlotte, you have been so dignified and graceful throughout this entire time that I bet most folks on here won’t even have noticed your world felt like it was crumbling down.
You and Adam managed to maintain RMW as a beautiful place for brides and wives to gather for daily doses of pretty, great reads and solid support.
I am thankful for “The Black Summer” purely because it has lead to us getting to know each other better. And just like I said before… I’ll be the one in the front row with the streamers when you break out your “project” news next week.
You and Adam deserve every bit of love, success and support coming your way.
James… Thank you for keeping our tiny blonde one afloat. I love knowing there are such incredible and delicious mean out there. (I should know, I have one too).
Oh and Adam… you are one cool cookie.
Beautiful honest words and images. You both look amazing! All the pain was worth it.
*and my ‘mean’… I clearly meant men.
Charlotte – this is lovely, and I dont think you should ever be scared to post things like this. People love to see the pretty, but also to hear the reality. The reality of marriage and the reality of running your own business. I love this site not just because of the pretty, or the fab community, but also because it inspires in other ways. Ever since I first started reading this blog (before I was even engaged) it has fixed in my head that one day, hopefully in the not too distant future, I will run my own business. I know that this is not an easy thing to do and I know that you guys must have had a bit of shitty time last year, change does that unfortunately, but I am so glad that you had James to keep you going, and that you are still inspired to make this better and better. Whether you want to be or not, you are an inspiration. Keep Smiling, Keep working hard, and remember, most people want to see other people do well… there is room enough for everyone to be successful
2012 is going to be a good year.
Morning lovelies…
Thanks so much for your kind comments, they mean a lot.
@Verity – You are absolutely right, they do – where would we be without friends and family eh?
@Claire – Oh no didn’t want to make you sad!! it has a happy ending promise
@Kathryn – bless you thanks, my husband is naturally handsome, mine is down to my sisters skills as a make-up artist!
@Pamela – if you put RMW next to Karl Lagerfeld it would actually make my whole year.
@Holly – thanks pet, RMW is here to inspire and be a place to escape to when everything else might be a bit rubbish so I wasn’t sure how writing a post with even the slightest hint of negativity would work, glad you appreciated the point of it.
@Nikki – Cheers love, it would be unfair of me to make out everything is all sunshine and roses, I am so happy you are out of the black winter, lots of luck for the year ahead x
@Kat – Thanks so much, means a lot
have an ace time in la Vegas!!
@Cloggins – I hear you. I say it at least once a day.
@Brown Eyed Girl – Time apart is hard isn’t it, they say distance makes the heart grow fonder don’t they well… it some respects it does but in others it can make you kind of lonely. So glad your husband is supporting your career!
Charlotte xxx
Oh and beautiful dress….It had to be said
what a lovely post!
her dress is beautiful !
Thanks for sharing miss Oshea, jeez you guys are HOT! Stunning photographs.
I think I might have given up in my business several times if it wasn’t for my man believing in me. Having your own business is a world of highs and lows, but being able to come home at the end of the day and either hide or celebrate in his arms makes everything ok. We both took a large step last year of believing in each other and in changing both our careers (for the better!) which meant cutting back on the wedding as well as lot of other things…
I think you guys probably underestimate how much lovely pretty influence you give on this blog/site, I take ideas for my wedding, for my friends weddings and my 30th birthday party… And gifts!
I look forward to my daily dose of pretty every day!
holy crap. you guys are SMOKIN’!
also, ‘black summer’ just sparked a massive rush of positivity, determination to work harder + a reminder that I shouldn’t ever give up.
thank you so much for that.
party with you soon.
Dear Charlotte (and Adam!),
We go to visit the Reverand this evening so your frank post has made me realise yet again just why I have agreed to marry a certain Mr. J.
I believe there is a ‘someone’ for everyone, and that you will find them, yours was a blind date, mine was through internet dating!! Highs and lows? Oh yes there are, but as long as you’ve got that certain someone to hold your hand while on that rollercoaster, you know that in the end, it really will be ok. Just because you have each other.
RMW is the only blog I read, the others just don’t cut the mustard (it’d be wholegrain if your wondering!). Our wedding isn’t until August 2013, so please keep up the good work I NEED you over the next 18 months!!
Thank you both xxx
This post really strikes a chord with my Charlotte. Sometimes its good to hear that things aren’t rosy and perfect all of the time.
We only see what people want us to see, and when the boy and I are having a hard time, it’s all too easy for us to look at other couples and think that they’re happy, have it all etc… but really, we don’t know what goes on behind closed doors.
I’m sure that people who look at Scott and I, will see two very happy newlyweds (I’m still allowed to say that six months in, right?).
Whilst we ARE happy with each other, other factors are causing a little unhappiness and unrest in our household at the moment – its called the moving house stress.
I like to be in control and not knowing our completion date, living in a house surrounded by boxes, and not being able to find our perfect ‘forever’ house is taking its toll on both of us.
Last night, I may have said that I felt like I was drowning with everything. And you know what, Scott just turned round and said he’s holding my hand (metaphorically) every step of the way and that he’ll never let that happen to me.
Knowing I have him right by my side is a better feeling than any dream house will give me.
xoxo
PS. gorgeous photos Charlotte – if I were you I would have them ALL up in my house!
So many really, really heartfelt stories on here today folks, I am a little bit in love with our community today
Everyone needs regular support to survive – and I’ve certainly received a bucket full from this string of comments.
Thank you,
Adam x
1st off what a beautiful couple you are…very fabulous photos! Thank you for being honest & open, very brave of you Charlotte. This post was just the boost i needed today. Myself & Mr Mac are to be married in 19weeks! bit of pressure starting now & financial along with it. Last year i quit my job in a bank, i was stressed, crying all the time & i ended up with depression. I just could not cope & it was affecting our relationship, especially as i had become someone that Mr Mac hadn’t fallen in love with & not the girl he proposed to.
Long story short i have since started my own business, something i have always wanted to do. But with a major drop in my income we are feeling the pressure of affording wedding, day to day bills etc…..then this morning BT billed us for £130 call out fee….i literally bawled, cried & wanted to punch someone!
Basically there is nothing we can do but pay it sadly, this post has just made me think i can’t worry about it but learn & move on with fulfilling orders today. Luckily i have taken on a part-time job to ease costs of wedding!
Thanks again for making me feel better!
Love this Charlotte, thanks for posting it. Marriage is definitely NOT all a bed of roses, but what makes a good one is remembering why you love each other and sticking by each other through the bad times. And making sure to say that you appreciate one another. It also helps if you don’t leave the lid of the kitchen bin up when you’re not using it (or maybe that’s just me…)
PS BEAUTIFUL pictures.
This is so inspiring, Charlotte, thank you for sharing. You really are a beautiful couple.
Pete and I are struggling with me being chained to my laptop/iphone at the moment, as I try to balance a day job with my (growing faster than I could ever have hoped/imagined) photography business and planning my own wedding.
He has been amazingly supportive, not least of all yesterday when he came home to cook me a Valentines dinner to find me in tears because the stress of ALL THE THINGS had got on top of me.
I know things won’t be like this for ever (I’m going part time at the day job in April and quitting it all together after our wedding) but it really feels like a struggle at the moment so every time Pete puts a cup of tea in front of me/does all of the housework/cooks dinner while I’m busy ignoring him doing business stuff, I really do love him a little bit more.
This was a wonderful post and it’s so helpful to know that I’m not the only one that feels overwhelmed from time to time.
xxx
Lynsey… Balls to BT. Robbers.
I love this post Charlotte. It’s brave to admit that sometimes life can get on top of you and it feels like your world is crashing down around you, but you have helped create such an amazing community in RMW and we all believe in you too
xx
ps your boy is defo a keeper!
Have to add a comment like everyone else, gorgeous photos and nice to hear a story about the reality of life.
I, of course, love the wedding stories, photos and general happiness, but sometimes we all need a dose of reality and hard work. Its fab you have each other to balance out life’s ups and downs and to generally get through it all together.
I’ve been with my man for 10 years and we have had some “interesting times”, not least the poast two years which have included a move to France, a new job, a new business (which also means battling the thing called ‘French administration’) and a new language – but it seems to have resulted in an engagement and future wedding.
So if anything, I know that even though times can be tough (and will be again I am sure of that) it is best to have tough times with that one person who can make it all right again!
Its lovely to learn more about the people behind RMW … we read so much about other peoples lives and weddings that its lovely to see more of you and your married experience!
xx
Wow Charlotte, I LOVE your honesty. When we work in the rose tinted world of weddings it’s hard to admit in the cold light of day that marriage is not always easy and requires an enormous amount of work and commitment on a daily basis, which is hard (& sometimes impossible!) for anyone, let alone when you are trying to run your own business.
So this year I’ve been married 10 years, during that time my husband & I have both set up our own businesses & dealt with some real heartbreak… Without each other I don’t honestly know how we would have managed, but I’ve come to learn that’s what love is and we don’t say ‘through good times and bad’ without reason!
So anyway, many congratulations to you & James for being there for each other & to you for making us all realise we are not alone & in fact are normal, in our not always perfect marriages & businesses!
Emma
x
p.s I LOVE the photos, you both look gorgeous!
Such a beautiful post, honest and brave. Sometimes the only thing that gets you through is your partner watching your back and believing in you. RMW deserves an amazing 2012. Can’t leave without saying you both look damn hot in your photos!
@Teresa – I don’t think you ever sent me a picture of it?! you must!
@Luci – thanks lovely, you must update me on what’s happening with your ahem *plans*
@Ruby – I hope you actioned the hug pet.
@Becky – I like pillar a lot!
@Rhiannon – that’s a really nice comment thanks so much, we hope it is a place lots of like minded ladies want to hang out. As for the pics – they are really down to the skills of Jonathan Canlas, the guy is a genius
@Naomi Liddel – Love you.
@Lisa Dawn – thanks lots, it definitely was!
@Abi Lady Ha Ha – you go and do it, no one said it was easy but the rewards outweigh the pitfalls by miles, can’t wait to see what your new venture is!
@OneJollyGirl – Awesome, so glad we can offer general pretty as well as W-day pretty!!! massive congratulations for taking the leap with your own career x
@Chris Barber – determination is all you need, party with you next month yay!
@Helen – promise to be here the next 18 months and beyond, hope it went well with Mr Reverend!
@Katie – Firstly congratulations on your house move! secondly what your husband said was so lovely, think you should write it out, print it off and stick it somewhere – look at it when you are feeling a little under the weather. Can you please PLEASE send me pics of your house when it’s done?!
@Lynsey R – what is it with BT and their ridiculous charges?! so glad to see things are moving onwards and upwards for you pet, you will have the loveliest wedding ever. Promise.
@Tracy M – or the lid of the toilet…..
Charlotte xxx
@Adam – sending you a vitual hug – Charlotte obviously gets a lot of love (probably because we all have major girl crushes on her and want her ‘do’) but you’re onviously totes tops too!
Beautifully written and heartfelt. I am VERY grateful you have persevered and put all your hardwork into this blog…. wedding planning wouldnt be the same without it!
Reading this makes me look forward to married life even more.
And I have to mention the gorgeous photos!! What a beautiful couple!
@Charlotte – you must have had a sneak peak at my next blog post as I started to write it the last week by basically saying that its easy to assume that everyone else’s life is perfect and that we all love wedding planning when you read the Real Brides reports but that actually life can be shitty sometimes. Post coming at ya next week!
Someone said to me last week that your relationships show their true colours when things are tough. Its easy to be happy in love when its easy and you have no stresses or money worries but its a lot harder to keep making a relationship work when times are not so easy. The good thing is that if you can get through ‘The Black Summer’ you can get through anything and its great knowing that you have a relationship that can weather the storm
I cried
So honest and moving.
What a moving post and totally honest, its nice to know everyone else has normal relationships and their lives are not “perfect” all of the time as mine certainly isn’t.
We are currently getting used to a big career change with my Mr spending last year retraining while juggling his job at the time but he did fantastic passed all his new training (I knew he would) and has landed a great new job with a international company, we no longer have him at home all the time (he is away for 2 months this current trip he is working on) we’re a month in and I cant wait for him to come home if truth be told, it can sometimes be hard juggling 2 small children and planning a wedding, but I support him all the way and I cant wait to finally become his wife next year. You have to take the rough with the smooth if you want to be with that person, as life has many ups and down’s we’ve been through a few other the past 8 years.
Anyway sorry for my ramblings, don’t you and Adam dare go anywhere I must “pop” on this site at least a couple of times a day, and you are my favorite wedding blog so keep up the bloody good work!!!
You are so dignified, I love how you never use social media to rant or bitch (unlike many in the industry) and I am so so happy to finally see these incredible images on the blog!!
Gah, and your dress, remember when I saw it hanging on your bedroom door and accused you of being a fancy pants and wearing it as a nightie??! It’s stunning on you.
James is gorgeous, we should see more of him on the blog
)
Love you xx
Charlotte, this is such a moving story! Thank you for sharing this, it is really reassuring to hear a little more about the reality behind newly-wed couples.
Whenever Tom and I feel stressed and have a disagreement/ fight about anything, I suddenly get all worried that we’re not ‘made for each other’ and it’s all going to end in divorce. Fortunately, Tom just says i’m being silly and gives me a huge hug and kiss.
As for professional stress, it totally makes such a difference to have the support of someone you love so much!!! We’ve both been through some really rough patches at work over the years but we’ve always tried to support each other… Now we’re currently working on our next steps, and I think we both want to start our own businesses (they’re very different ideas!) and have babies… so I can tell that there are some stressful times ahead. but I feel a little more confident facing them now I’ve read about ‘black summer’. Thank you.
And by the way, you are HOT. Oh my god.
xxx
What an amazing post Charlotte. I remember “Black Summer” well and suspected that maybe all was not rosy. Plus the hacking must have been horrendous. But it’s a true testament to what you’ve created here that we were all rooting for someone that very few of us have actually ever met!! And you’ve done tremendously well! I think what’s amazing about this little community is that we all seem to feel a little sense of pride in it. I speak to my friends about it and how amazing it is as if I’ve known you and Adam for years and you are friends that I gush about! So keep up the good work, but also make sure you take time for yourself and don’t burn out. You have a strong enough community here that noone will ever hold it against you if you just need a quiet week on the blog. Maybe even consider a holiday from it for a week!
xxxxx
P.S. I saw a couple of those photo’s on Polly’s blog a while ago and wondered when you were going to share them with us. They’re just BEAUTIFUL!!! You are most definitely one of the most beautiful couples I have ever seen. So striking. x
@Charlotte
The hug was actioned!
Also the tea making
We’ve also just signed the contract for our wedding venue and paid the deposit, so feeling pretty happy today!
I think your strength is something to be admired, and your marriage is beautiful. After a particularly rubbish year last year (Mum was sick and needed a lot of looking after, and then hubby’s gran passed away) this put a lot of strain on our marriage, and then one day i heard Mr c talking to his mum about how i was coping, the way he spoke about me being all brave etc made me realise we were not under any strain, it was just our marriage was not the main thing in our lives at that time! We are now stronger then ever!
Beautifully written darling! dark seasons, if youve the right man by your side they will help you take the long hard steps through the snow, through the puddles and guide you swiftly over the ice, enabling you to sit peacefully in the sun and think about where your new journey will take you.
My man did just this, close friends and family can not believe the amount of turbulance thrown at mine and my boys lives, and in fairness i sit and think …how on earth have i got through that one…..only 1 answer my man came into my life, pulled me from the depths of despair and has helped me build my business and family life back to how it should be, but now we have a sprinkling of glitter on it as its bigger and better than it ever was in the past…..why? because he too believed i could do it, he too is the man who wiped my tears and protected me with his cuddles….for this i am grateful….for this is the reason i love him.
Did my brides ever suspect i was at a low ebb? no…as a true proffessional they’re not interested in a sob story, they’re the princesses in all of this and quite rightly so, its the happiest time of their lives planning a wedding, they don’t need to know i was a bitter twisted soon to be divorcee. Did they get any less of a service not at all, my energies where channelled fully into them as it was my escapism, until there was no were else to go and right on cue appears my affore mentioned ‘new’ man
Charlotte, this is a honest and beautiful piece.
Marriage is perhaps the hardest challenge you will take on in your life, it takes work and love, but you are right; it is all completely 100% worth it.
Thank you for sharing this, because of you new brides and wives can see that although its tough, you always have each other and that is the single most important thing
I often say I have my Hubby’s ‘back’ so i am right there with you. Thank you xx
Beautiful post and photos. Now, rather than add something poignant beyond that, may I instead be really shallow and ask where you got that dress? It’s divine. Sorry…
I agree with everyone – it’s great to see a little bit of reality behind the perception of perfectness now and again. I love these kinds of posts!
Sometimes it’s hard to remember to make time for your relationship when there is madness around you. J and I both have jobs where we work long hours and he has been commuting 2 hours each way which is beginning to take its toll. Couple that with planning the wedding, (both the financial strain and the logistics) and also trying to do up a house and it just all feels a bit crazy.. Good to know we are not the only ones!!
I would also like to say those pictures are amazingly gorgeous!!! Number 2 is my fave! Charlotte – those eyelashes!! Mr O Shea is so handsome and has a very similar physique to my H2B although he has more hair
Rachie xo
Agree so much with Jenny- we would never have known things were difficult here on these pages. You always keep RMW a haven of happiness and joy and beauty, even when posts are sad or things are going wrong. The honesty and clarity of prose and images are stunning. The blog is great as it never treats the reader like anything but a dear friend, and a valued member of a community.
I kind of think these pics are more beautiful than wedding pictures- in mine I was beaming around in innocent bliss, not knowing that the “for worse” was already rolling towards us. I think a couple shoot for the two of you together is a lovely gift after a difficult time, and these pictures are heart achingly beautiful as they show your real lives, not a snapshot of elation on the big day. Having seen them, I’m definitely going to try and persuade hubs into an anniversary shoot- just us on a normal day, with a lot of time and trouble behind us one year on. xxxxxxxx
Thank you for such an honest and inspirational post. I love the blog and have looked forward to my daily doses ever since stumbling upon it last June. Like many on here, I very much anticipate that I will continue to visit the blog after my wedding. I look forward to watching it go from strength to strength.
Loving all the posters on the tube by the way! You, Adam and the team very much deserve success.
Another quick note for you Charlotte,
Make sure you print out all of these comments and keep them somewhere safe. When you go through another rough patch (there will be more because life is nice and shitty like that!) then read them all one by one.
Life can be so bloody tough and it takes strength, dignity and a lot of integrity. You have oodles of this stuff which is why your husband is there to pick you up, hold your hand and keep you safe.
And on that cheesy note, I’ll love ya and leave ya.
Teresa xxx
P.S. I would love to share a photo of my wedding tables with you, they looked amazing!
But I had a poohead photographer who didn’t take a photo of them even though I had given him a list of all the pics I wanted him to take. I’ve still not chosen pics for my wedding album yet because I am so disappointed with my photos.
Stunning photos and a beautifully written, honest post.
It is a stange comfort to know that most couples have tough times but know that as long as they care, love and support each other they can get through anything.
I’m feeling that now… We got engaged last June and in September, just as we were about to put down the deposit for our venue, my man was made redundant. He is still yet to find a job. Sadly, all plans for a wedding have had to be been put on hold for now. With only my wage to support us all (my partner also has joint custody of his 2 children) there really are no spare pennies to put in the wedding fund yet.
As difficult as it is that we can’t move forward right now, it has made me realise what’s important and how different our wedding will now be…. most of all it will be it will be ‘us’ and full of personal touches, a happy day spent those we love and treasure.
I cant express how much RMW has kept me inspired and positive on a daily basis(the man thinks I’m obsessed), I have so many ideas now because of the masses of detail, the abundance of pretty and all the stories of true, TRUE love and general support from all the brides and wives that I find on these polka dot pages!
Thank you Charlotte and Adam. You’re amazing!
xoxo
Thank you for sharing such an honest and heartfelt post Charlotte. It’s been while since I’ve visited RMW as since I got married last September, I didn’t feel the need for my daily dose of wedding pretty. However, I’m so pleased I took the time to read this. A little contribution from me….
I guess you could say that Mr L and I have, at times, had a pretty rocky road in our four years together. We’ve had our fair share of family troubles, job issues and major health problems (I was so sick on our wedding day I couldn’t eat or drink and but had an operation in December and now back fighting fit). I also knew when we got together that Mr L’s and my life was always going to be a little out of the ordinary. My husband is a paraplegic after an accident 16 years ago, and is a full time wheelchair user. All things considered it’s safe to say that sometimes life has tested us both as individuals and as a couple to the absolute maximum and I’ll be honest, at times I genuinely didn’t think we would make it. But, here we are, 5 months married, having promised to each other to well and truly give it our all to keep the ‘Mr & Mrs L’ flag flying. We love each other in ways I didn’t know existed. And I’m not talking in a ‘hearts and flowers’ kind of way. I treasure Mr L’s wellbeing as much as my own and admire, respect and well and truly fancy the pants off him, in equal measure. I am so proud of my husband it makes my heart burst. And when he crosses the line having completed the London Marathon wheelchair race this year, I’ll be the proudest wife in the world. I’m going to send Mr L a link to this so hopefully he’ll take a read. I’m not always the best at articulating how I feel, so, fingers crossed, this will get it across. So, if you’re reading Mr L, this is for you. Your badger xxx
Having just gone self-employed and started running my own business, plus increasing my already packed ‘outside of my day job work’ schedule, plus Mr A having a full time demanding job, plus his work as a singer and going off round the country 9and abroad) 3 or 4 times a week (and with some very exciting developments in the pipeline very soon!) sometimes I wonder what we have got ourselves into and question how will we ever slow down enough to start a family?
I can’t tell you how much I am looking forward to the 3 hours we are having together on Sunday!
Thanks for this post – has made me feel less worries and stressed out about our current lack of work/life balance!
apologies for bad spelling and random numbers appearing there (as if to emphasize my crazy life!)
I just want to say a mahoosive THANK YOU!! For so many reasons: for being so honest, and having the cahunas to share such a heartfelt topic with us; for ploughing on with your dreams despite the cr*p that life threw at you; for being so brilliant that RMW came out the other side even shinier than before (without anyone realising anything was wrong!); and for being the most inspirational and beautiful blog out there! (phew, long sentence – sorry!).
I have been addicted to RMW since before I was engaged (shhh, don’t tell Mr S!) and have seen so many stunning things on here, I can safely say that my wedding has been inspired by things from these polka dot pages… and will carry on looking even as an old married.
Charlotte and Adam (and Jenny, and Vix!) please keep up the great work – you are amazing!
xx
PS – Mrs O’Shea you and Mr O are stunningly beautiful. I also want that dress please!
Hi Charlotte,
I just wanted to say a big ‘THANK YOU’ for writing this post today – it could not have come at a more relevant time for me (I wont bore you with the details, needless to say I am currently feeling VERY sorry for myself). I agree that having your man there to hug you and tell you that it will all be ok makes everything a whole lot easier. He inspires me, reassures me and makes me feel like I can take on the world every day.
This blog is a continual source of inspiration, loveliness and honesty – I’m sure every reader here is as grateful as I am for the work that you and Adam put in every day. You should both be very proud of the work that you do and how many people your work influences. Thank you to both of you! xx
And on a much less soppy note – you and James are h-o-t HOT!!! Such beautiful photos – I would have every one of them blown up around the house however egotistical it may make me look. Love the dress (and the nail varnish too, grey nails rock my world)
xx
@Laura Babb – Lovely you will be absolutely fine. It’ll be hard work (obvs!) but so worth it.
@Roz – so nice to see you still “here”
hope everything is going well with you and Mr Roz x
@Jill Hanby – Wow, and I thought what we went though was tough, never mind doing it in another country in another language. You are clearly one savvy business woman.
@Emma Coleman – thanks for your kind words pet, and you are so right, generally the W-day world is a nice place to be – it’s a fine line between being honest and not creating a big grey cloud isn’t it. Congratulations on 10 years of greatness.
@Jo Hastings – Gutted I didn’t get to meet you in Bham the other day! – must do another night out soon!
@KT – it’s readers (like yourself) who get us through the day and make it all worth it, if we’re inspiring you then we’re doing our jobs well
@Shirley – I didn’t promise! can’t wait to read it though
thanks for your inspiring maturity and advice as always Madam S x
@Faye – don’t apologise! I am the worlds biggest rambler! and it sounds like you are doing a stellar job of juggling everything, super Mum and super W-day planner x
@Jenny – You know I love you Jen Jen and I can’t thank you enough for your on-going support and advice, especially over the last 6 months or so. Life is getting so exciting for you and Team O and you deserve every ounce of happiness coming your way.
@Celine – Can I borrow your green dress?! I can’t wait to see what your new business is (fashion guru!?) and I know it will be a huge success (and please can it have plenty of french-ness?)
Charlotte xxx
Our change isn’t quite so unexpected, but it’s still stressful nonetheless. I’m working my arse off in a corporate job AND my photography career so that we can afford for me to make the switch to full-time photography. Hubs didn’t get the benefits we were expecting, so it’s putting a serious damper on my ability to quit my day job. It’s challenged us time and time again, and I’ve shed way too many tears over it. But he’s said the same thing to me- “I belive in you. I KNOW you can do this.” And as tired as I am from working nearly two full-time jobs, just hearing him say that makes it easier to rest my head on my pillow and sleep peacefully
. Can’t wait to hear about your big project, girl!
Totally just had a little sob! What a lovely post, you are a completely amazing duo xxx
This is sweet – having left a job I hated to start my own business at the start of this year, just a month into our marriage, it summarises exactly how I feel about my wife (who pointed this post out to me!).
She’s what makes 18 hour days at my desk, challenges and headaches all bearable.
When I wanted to quit she was the first one to say those magic words, that she believed in me, and whenever I have doubt myself, I remember that there is one person that will always have faith.
Cheers
J
As always Charlotte – so heartfelt and inspiring. That is all….except, I cannot wait to find out what the big reveal next week is all about
WOW! Have been following RMW for about 10 months (it only took me 10 minuts to get addicted) but am more of a quiet, in awe, observer and tend not to comment. But this post gave me butterflies. GIANT butterflies. Not only are the pictures a bit on the breathtaking side, the words are possibly the most profound example of married life I have read about in the 3 years I’ve been engaged – yes 3 whole years…..elephants are pregnant for less time! Anyway, the butterflies…..obviously I wasn’t excited to read about what was a challenging time, but for the feeling that came across through the words – such unconditional and reciprocal love and support. That knowledge that when it hits the fan there is always one person who knows the ‘right’ way to help – even if its not necessarily the way you want to hear it. I’ve had the ‘Stop moping and make it happen’ speech and its hard to realise at the time that its said with love.
Charlotte your candid honesty was like a ray of sunshine in what is quite a dreary ‘half term afternoon’.
Not only is this my first ever comment, this is also the first time I’ve not read any comments on a post – the butterflies spread to my fingers and I was typing before my brain caught up. Sorry if I’ve repeated what others said!
My three year wait will be over in June and I cannot wait to be able to call ‘that person that picks me up from my crumpled heap’, my husband. Just in case my mutism returns, I’d just like to thank you and Adam (and the ones you lean on after the hours tied to computers) for your hard work and dedication to keeping us polka dot page enthusiasts connected to a portal of pretty. It would be an entirely unbalanced relationship if we didn’t give back a little love and support after all the effort you guys make. Thank you!
Amelia x
ps If Brucie and Mr O’Shea have any kind of ‘similar feature’ I can now obviously understand how he ended up with a wife half his age!! These pics are mag worthy – the 2 of you are so gorgeous am expecting to see a designer perfume bottle pop up somewhere as justification!
This is such a gorgeous and honest post. I have been with h2b for 9years when we get married and things have never always run smoothly, to breaking point if I am honest. H2b and me have had hard time including life and health and growing up and without each other I think it would have been a lot harder. It is true that know body understands what goes on behind closed doors but I truly believe love and friendship conquer all.
I love RMW and it has been my source of inspiration and guidance for my wedding through both the posts and the readers comments so thank you so much Charlotte and Adam because I love love love it!
Oh and you two are a very gorgeous couple, those images should be plastered all over your walls!
xx
Wow, my first words on RMW…!! and they are simply…I have a gorgeous, talented, creative, funny and intelligent wife and I’m a lucky boy. What’s one “Black Summer” out of many more to come? ….Oh and she has a lovely bum..!
The fact that I had to scroll down half a mile before I could comment on your amazing post speaks for itself really! I love that your blog is full of stuff for real people and not just articles for the imaginary perfect fluffy people that a lot of blogs seem to cater for! I’m sure those articles foster a lot of insecurities in people who daren’t admit that all is not rosey in the garden. Only one thing needs to be a constant, and you have that in buckets loads..the love and support of your partner. And the fact that you are both beautiful is clearly an added bonus!!
@Mr James O’Shea – EEK! I have just screamed with excitement that the actual Mr Charlotte has just posted! You pair are like celebs to us RMW addicts so it’s a similar feeling to when I met Paul Weller on work experience…!
Although that didn’t end very well…I had to show him where the toilets were and wait for him to come out to take him back to the studio and the whole time he was in there I was thinking to myself “You have to say something witty and amazing” but when he came out I just said “Did you wash your hands?” Genius.
Really great post Charlotte, honest and open and that’s what makes this an amazing wedding blog.
The hub 2 be and I haven’t always been rosy, when he went away with work for 3 weeks, i spent most evenings in silence fuming at him for going, but so so proud of him for doing so, so i put on a happy face and supported him, because I know he’d do the same for me, and after all he works so hard so we can be happy, have nice things. He’s so stonkingly clever I swoon when he talks nerd
I remember the black summer and did wonder what would happen to RMW, my daily source of pretty and witty, but you’ve gone from strength to strength thanks to yours and Adam’s hard work and it really does show, and i’m the first to recommend you out of all the other wedding blogs in the world wide web!
My wedding is going to be beautiful and very much to our taste and we’ve got rmw to thank for some amazing inspiration.
Looking forward to seeing you get better and better and intrigued for the big reveal.
As a reader, to be corny but true- I believe in this site and believe it will do amazing things
PS Don’t you and the Mr belong in some French fashion magazine? Uh-Mazing photos, Swoonage xxx
@Pamela PAUL WELLER! Awesome… I love that you asked him if he washed his hands
Really enjoyed reading this post. What a lovely couple you are! You hear such stories nowadays about how couples fall apart or the love fizzles away but it’s so nice to hear that love is still very much alive for many. P.S if it’s ok to ask- please tell me what lipstick you are wearing in those pics!? you look gorgeous. x
@Mr James O’Shea!! Eeeek! It’s like an actual celebrity has come and joined us!!
@Pamela – haha, that’s hilarious!! Bless you
xx
@Charlotte please tell me those eyelashes are falsies! If not, I may cry myself to sleep tonight!
LOVE Mr O’Shea’s comment! He he!
If you ever have a dark moment as to whether it is all worth it, just have a look at all of the above! you have created something very, very special.
All of the ladies here are completely gorgeous, ace, intelligent and hilarious, and you (and Zoolander of course….and in no small way Mr O’ Shea) have brought them all to a place where they can get inspired, excited, laugh and cry.
So – worth it – see?
And, oh dear, by golly, yes – you both look stupidly gorgeous! xx
Excellent, heartfelt and honest post. It’s beautiful to see the love and support shared in a post along with amazing pictures. I am still lurking around the RMW pages just like I have from the start. Even now I am married, i still enjoy catching up with RMW. X
@Sophie – that is very sweet of you lovely, hopefully we can have some holiday time this year – where I won’t take my laptop!!
@LIzzie – I am so sorry to hear about that, I am very happy that you are both stronger than ever though, long may it continue.
@Chrissie – Wow you are an inspiration, and you are 100% right. I just didn’t see any point mentioning any of the crap stuff on here either at the time – what’s the point? RMW has never been a route for I or Adam to waffle on about about private lives or be negative – we will continue to keep it happy, joyful and professional at all times, no matter what others may do.
@Bride Geek – “I’ve got your back” is one of my favourite sayings, for my husband, my friends and my family – I know they’ve got mine and I’ve certainly got theres.
@Milk and Two – ha ha ha you’re not shallow!! I so go up to people in the street and am like “excuse me where did you get that bag/cardi/great hat…” – it’s Kate Moss for Topshop but a few years old now though, maybe try Ebay?
@Rachie – ha ha that made me laugh, Mr O’Shea has so much hair, when it gets long (I actually love it longer!) without gel it is like a giant bushy um… big thing!
@Lucy S – I am so glad you said that – it’s what we set out to achieve. And definitely go out and have an anniversary shoot!!
@Branwen – Did you see us on the tube?! whenever anyone tells me I get butterflies, anyone would think we were in Vogue!!!
Charlotte xxx
Oh Charlotte, what an honest, heartfelt and moving piece of writing, and so rare to read something so open and measured in these days of general Facebook bragging – I’m sure we’ve all got ‘friends’ whose lives are just peachy perfect the entire time.
But don’t worry about us disappearing! We were here the all time too!! Bloomin computers eh?
And very nice to see Mr James O’Shea joining us here. In person too. Although we really couldn’t comment on your wife’s bottom…
I loved the photoshoot pictures, but my favourite has to be the one where Mr O’Shea is smiling properly, bless.
The wedding is special but it’s the marriage that’s important. Especially for the ups and downs of life.
Belinda xx
Charlotte, I am not a big reader, I tend to picture read if that makes sense – but wow your writing captivated me from beginning to end and now I am a blubbering mess (I am also not an teary person, so this is unusual in itself)
Last year I also started my own business. Although I have always worked as photographer, I never believed that I could enter such a competitive industry as my own company and do well – that was until I met my Mr me, he believed in me and has helped just by being there – he is my rock and my soul mate, and although he does not help by getting involved its him that holds me together – him that makes it all alright.
I couldn’t have imagined my business working out better (so far) I loved my job before but now I can barely contain the excitement, even despite the long long hours and days spent getting everything just ‘so’. I am also engaged and getting married in September so I think I share a lot of enthusiasm with my Brides for the details and prettiness!
You inspire me…..with my wedding, and now my business…. thanks for that
P.S WOW what a set of images you have to cherish forever!
Charlotte, I am not a big reader, I tend to picture read if that makes sense – but wow your writing captivated me from beginning to end and now I am a blubbering mess (I am also not an teary person, so this is unusual in itself)
Last year I also started my own business. Although I have always worked as photographer, I never believed that I could enter such a competitive industry as my own company and do well – that was until I met my Mr me, he believed in me and has helped just by being there – he is my rock and my soul mate, and although he does not help by getting involved its him that holds me together – him that makes it all alright.
I couldn’t have imagined my business working out better (so far) I loved my job before but now I can barely contain the excitement, even despite the long long hours and days spent getting everything just ‘so’. I am also engaged and getting married in September so I think I share a lot of enthusiasm with my Brides for the details and prettiness!
You inspire me…..with my wedding, and now my business…. thanks for that
P.S WOW what a set of images you have to cherish forever!
P.P.S James is HOT! LOL!!!
Setting up your own business is one of *the* hardest things you can possibly do. Going from a job as a staff photographer where I had 4 days off a month, I thought going freelance would be a piece of cake.
I LOVE it, but I haven’t had a day off in aaaaages. I know only too well that feeling that your laptop & phone may as well be fused to your arm, especially on holiday! I have palpitations when I can’t get Internet access.
My friends have pretty much forgotten what I look like, and my wonderful boyfriend Chris takes leave from work in order to help me build the business.
I know just how hard it is my lovely, but it’ll be totally worth it….! x
Holy Moly.
It’s been far too long since I’ve been to the hallowed pages of RMW. Promotion at work (I now make lots and lots of pretty nail colour for Rimmel) and a diva of a baby on the way (pretty sure she’s practising to be a synchronised swimmer) has pretty much put a stop to me drooling over weddings and the like. After this post Charlotte, I am redressing the balance.
I bloody love this site, and it was my bible when I was planning my wedding in Dec 2010. Not only are the wedding pretty pieces amazeballs, but the honest and quite frankly thought provoking text was exactly what I was looking for. You and your brilliant site cut through the crap, and being a South London girl, I like it
Any time I meet someone who’s getting married, I practically scream “get on RMW for Christ’s sake” at them. Honestly, it’s the best wedding blog on the internet.
I think RMW has the absolute potential to become more than “just a wedding blog”. Not that I’m asking you to run before you walk or anything but I see you becoming a “lifestyle” blog (however poncy that may sound!) The make up pieces, the home decor pieces, the glorious Jenny coming back…. it’s all just bloody lovely and real.
Long may RMW continue.
Hols
x
Amazing post, amazing pictures, you are both amazingly hot. That is all
I have always been a huge fan of your photos taken by Jon – I love that man’s photography and the shot where you’re looking up to James? Too much.
Great to see them all up here.
Also it’s just so refreshing to hear that everyone has their struggles. Not that it’s a good thing but getting through these struggles makes us stronger and when you are in the midst of it all it is like a giant illuminated sign pointing “This Way” for future happiness. My boyfriend and I are both working for our own businesses from home and while it is great that we can talk to each other and help one another sometimes it makes me sad that everything is always about work, work, work. Usually it takes a “director’s meeting” at the pub and a Sunday out and about and all is well again.
Thank you for sharing this!
Gulp.
Don’t know if you’ll still be reading the comments by this point Charlotte (as there are literally thousands) but a really beautifully written, honest post.
I don’t know if my H2B ‘believes’ in me as such…but then I don’t know if I believe in myself. (I tend to be all talk and no action when it comes to building a career.) But I do know that he whole-heartedly loves me, and whether I’m earning 12p and hour or £1200 an hour he will always love me. Which is why I’m marrying him, yay!
You have done something formidable with this blog- both of you have. You should all (Mr O’Shea as well) be hugely hugely proud!
Lots of love xxx
@Teresa – Oh no I am so sorry to hear your photographer wasn’t the greatest
please PLEASE get an anniversary shoot done so you have some images to love and hang on the wall?
@Hayley B – I know everything being “on hold” must seem pants right now but I am pretty sure it will all work out in the end for you. Chin up and feel free to join in with the pretty chat, wedding or no wedding x
@MIriam – You looked so beautiful on your wedding day (I did try and send you a FB message but I can never work that thing!) and both you and your husband looked so deliriously happy, lots of love and luck for the future, you both deserve it.
@Beccie – Oooh a singer! what kind of singing? I love me some live music! seriously though I have no idea how we would fit children in right now – I almost feel like it just wouldn’t be fair (if that makes sense!) they always say there is never a right time though…
@Charlotte – Cahuna’s – genius. And I loved your long sentence! I think we are feeling really quite shiny today, even shiner after comments like yours
@Ruthie Ruth – I think I may have a grey-nail obsession, every time I do them I just can’t bring myself to choose another colour! thanks lots for your ace comment pet.
@Abby Grace – Comin’ atcha next week, watch this space!!
@Katie – Just went over to have a peeky at your amazing welsh face, love what you can do with plaits – I want some please.
@James – how lovely of you to leave a comment, your wife must be made up! (you have told her right?…)
@Emma – Aphroditeswb – Thanks lovely, promise we’ll try and make it Mon or Tues so as to not keep people waiting!
Charlotte xxx
Can I just say… WOW, how hot are you two?!
Well done for such an honest post. xxx
That was one of the moving and honest blog posts I’ve ever read. RMW has a new fan and gorgeous pictures too.
Thank-you sharing this very personal post Charlotte.
Rock My Wedding is seriously amazing and has inspired me in so many ways. During my wedding planning it was go-to site and now even though I am a married I still do pass by every so often.
It’s refreshing to know that every marriage goes through it’s ups and downs, especially when you have a dream that you are trying to turn into reality. Since getting married I have started a new venture as well as doing an evening course alongside my increasingly busy day job, and the Mr is now studying for the hardest IT exams ever. But the main thing is that like you guys we support and believe in each other.
This post has come at an apt time for me as the balancing of all of these things is a challenge, but knowing that this is all part of the whirlwind that is marriage is reassuring! So thank-you again. X x
You guys rock the boat, what an incredible post. Seriously encouraging!
Wow – so inspiring Charl, it just goes to show that if you want something bad enough you sure can get it – with a massive dollop of major hard work, a heap of focus and a whole lot of love you can get there. You have been through so much and its so good to see you in a majorly happier place and may this summer be an effing bright yellow sunshine summer!!!!
Love you lots – so very proud to be your friend.
Vix
xx
You both are amazingly good looking and love all the pics!
Well done on a fab site and all the hard work is clearly (reading the above comments it’s hard to miss it) paying off in buckets!
Good luck for the project can’t wait to see what on earth it is!!!
Love the “real life” posts, sometimes more than the pretty
xx
@Amelia – your comment made me laugh out loud!! I have no clue why Mr O’Shea thinks he has a chin like Bruce! so glad you have come out of hiding – keep commenting as we love to hear from our community!
@Maddi – Absolutely right, nobody knows and never a truer word was said – love does conquer all! (I feel like I am standing on the top of a massive hill a la Braveheart shouting that at the top of my voice and I like it!)
@Mr O’Shea – honestly, you had to get a backside comment in there didn’t you… Love you
@Sarah F – Thanks so much, and yep you are right it really is all you need.
@Lauren – I love the nerd reference! he sounds ace
and Oh my I love a French magazine!! you have made my day!
@FayeDM – Of course lovely it was YSL Rouge Pur Couture in no.10 (beige tribute)
Will reply to some more in a wee bit!
Charlotte xxx
Wow such a fab post Charlotte. I have a teensy secret that sometimes I love the real life inspirational and honest posts more than the fab fashion on RMW. Think you write so beautifully that strikes a chord with so many. It still intrigues me how you can juggle RMW, full time job plus a busy life! Puts me to shame. I would love to see a typical o’shea day as am sure you must have more than 24hours in it! Xx
Superb post – life affirming and that’s what this stuff is all about. It’s a tough thing to talk about, and when in the middle of hard times most people shut themselves away and stick to keeping up appearances.
We all need a cuddle, and judging by the responses here you seem to have reached out and given a lot of people just that. Nice.
Love the photography here too, btw! Great stuff.
I think this proves that dreams really do come true. It shows with hard work, determination, support from those who love you, you really can conquer the world (also the wedding world).
Carry on making us proud and filling our days with pretty
xx
Great to hear your story Charlotte. That’s what makes this blog so brilliant, real life, real people, real relationships! Me and my h2b are currently hurtling towards our w-day whilst holding down a demanding full time job in a big corporate machine (moi), running an offshore business and playing drums in a reasonably successful indie band (him) and raising a beautiful almost four-year-old daughter (team effort)! Our marriage will cement a six and a half year relationship which has seen some great highs, some awful lows but ultimately has provided us with a foundation on which to build our happy ever after! Life can be stressful, challenging and sometimes it’s hard to see the wood for the trees, but as long as (as you say so beautifully) you
believe in one another, you’ll weather any storm that might pass.
Big Love to Miss B and the heartfelt words she scatters on the polka dot pages. After darkness, there is always light. You bring it, Sunshine Girl. xx
@Lynsey B – Pet! they were falsies!! Ardel wispy fluttery ones (quite natural) – my sister did my make-up
@Carrie – I am loving the Zoolander reference ( I have been swapping between calling him that and Tyra all day!!!!)
@Natalie G – Great to still have you around pet, the more the merrier x
@Belinda – Facebook bragging makes me laugh, what’s the point?! love your wise comments as always. I have also told James he should smile more…
@Jasmine – that is so lovely to hear, I am glad you enjoy RMW and your business is going from strength to strength, feel free to comment as much as you please!
@Catherine Mead – It totally is – like L’Oreal
@Hollypocket – I’ve missed you! *waves* and my love you are not that far from the truth, RMW will always remain a W-day blog but we’ve got plenty of other action um… “in the pipeline” as it were, can’t wait to tell you all about it! (and you are so our nail varnish go -to!!!
@Jenny Lane – and your mohican was hot VERY hot!
Charlotte xxx
charlotte what a heartfelt post- it is so true those words mean everything and are what can keep you going- I have 45 days to go to and i am certain i would have been lost without RMW and i know 100% fact i will continue to read RMW every day after as well! psthe photos are fab! Where is the dress from!? xx
Mrs O’Shea-you have brought a tear to my eye! I’ve always loved your writing style and am bowled over by your honesty in today’s post. You are one super lucky lady and clearly have so much love and support around you-I am convinced that one day you-and team RMW-will conquer the world
I have been a huge fan of RMW for more than 2 years now and, after getting married in September, I’m still addicted and log on daily for my dose of pretty! I’ve always said that RMW is the best thing since sliced bread-and I still feel like that!!
I think your words of wisdom today really do show that we can all achieve our dreams-whatever life throws at us. I’m going through my own dilemna at the moment (work wise) and I’m really struggling to know what to do for the best but reading inspiring posts like this helps to put things into perspective. Fingers crossed I can work my way through my own ‘black winter’ and come out the other end smiling
Keep up the great work RMW-I’m excited about what’s to come…
xx
P.S. For us marrieds out there more fashion/beauty/home/lifestyle posts would be great-alongside all the wedding pretty.
P.P.S. You are one seriously beautiful couple-loving those pics-they look like they have come straight from the pages of a glossy magazine!!
The photography is outstanding, I love all of the pictures!
Been totally addicted to RMW since around about your black summer!! Finally have got myself around to commenting after everyday reading the posts and relating to something! Our big day is in 3 1/2 months and all the excitement of planning has come from the last 8 months of reading everything that you have to say. Thanks for all the honest, real, funny, heartwarming, tear jerking (eg today!!) stuff you have to say. As well as my lovely man, the RMW world is my other rock!! Thanks lots
Dear lovely Charlotte,
What a brave post! I appreciate your honesty so much – you go above and beyond as a wedding blogger and it makes all the difference! Also, I just want to reiterate how professional and upbeat and well-turned out RMW always is. I can hardly believe you had time to fit in a Black Summer with all the amazing work you kept doing on the blog! Really, there were no traces that things weren’t going well. So massive congratulations for succeeding at the ‘fake it til you make it’ approach
(Though, really, you were succeeding all along, you just didn’t realise…!)
I also LOVE these photographs. They are mature and elegant and yet really darn sexy. I love the one of you two almost kissing – you can tell that there is so much chemistry in your marriage, and that is a very great thing to see. I have a huge amount of respect for you today, not least because of how well you wear that dress! I also cannot IMAGINE how scary it must be growing such a huge project as RMW. *General awe*
Lots of we-are-stronger-than-we-think-we-are love,
Mae
Thank you for such a wonderfully honest post – and one that’s about marriage, which is ultimately what all this is for/about, as opposed to ‘the pretty’ which is, of course, a means to an end (even if it doesn’t always seem like that).
We’re getting married in August. We’ll have been together almost four years and we’ve been through a lot in that time, including him going freelance, me giving up freelancing and regretting it and quitting my job and starting my business again from scratch, accidents, illness, repeated moves…
Though we have never, ever been on holiday together – we haven’t had the time, more than anything. We may be on our third joint (rented) home, but our honeymoon will be our first holiday together!
Anyway, thank you for this post! xxx
Hi Charlotte,
I’m a huge fan of RMW, it is officially my wedding bible!! I’ve somehow never commented before – however I felt I had to on this post. It really touched me – it’s honest, sweet, sad, humble, uplifting…
You guys deserve all the success you get. Keep up the good work – can’t wait to hear about the new project!
Oh Charlotte, every time I think I’ve got over the ‘weeping over all wedding and marriage based things’ there you go and get me watering my keyboard again. Lovely, lovely post. xx
ps could your lovely sister share some product love on this pretty look? You two are just such a hot couple!
Wow Charlotte, what a timely post!
I also have a wedding to plan, a full time job and I am one half of an ever growing, small business (a lovely little sewing shop).
So, I’m getting married in 4 1/2 months and last week I handed in my notice from my full-time and rather unenjoyable day job. Funnily enough Mr H called to tell me excitedly that he’d booked the honeymoon, my response “I’ve just handed in my notice!”.
But his ever calm tones reassured me that everything will be ok, but with a touch of reality reminded my that I couldn’t work in the shop full time (which doesn’t pay wages at the moment) and still had to help pay for the honeymoon.
Your post, and all the comments that follow made me realise a few things:
1. ‘The black summer’s’ happen for a reason and actually once you come out the other side (I’m almost there) it is more that worth it!
2. There is a real trend of women who simply take on too much, but wouldn’t have it any other way, but why do we still do it?
3. Whilst I still continue to feel guilty about the lack of time I have to keep on top of the washing, or am constantly late for dinner, I know I shouldn’t – because if the shoe was on the other foot I would be the same and just want to support where I can.
4. There are plenty of other people in exactly the same boat, on exactly the same rocky seas!
So, off for a day of wedding planning, ahem I mean job hunting!
Another triumph from RMW xx
Morning Charlotte,
One word wow! Everything you said is so true and just today my husband 2 be shocked and amazed me with the simplest of gestures.
I love what you do here at RMW, so much so that you have inspired me to start my own blog documenting my journey into wifedom for my friends and family.
Keep doing what your doing!!
Lots of love xx
Charlotte I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – you are an inspiration! I honestly don’t know how you do it normally, but in the face of the ‘black summer’ you came through it with your head held high, RMW being even more fabulous and successful than every and with an even stronger relationship. Quite frankly if you can have those pictures taken with your (gorgeous!) husband in the middle of all that and look so happy and so in love then you’re onto a winner. It can’t be easy but we’re all rooting for you!!
I feel like we don’t give enough Adam love here (probably because Charlotte is the ultimate girl crush for lots of us!), but I will say this. If I wasn’t very happily married I would totally be trying to his get his number. Hello? A lovely, sensitive tecchy man who knows all things wedding… What is not to love? Plus he’d get advice from the amazing lady O’Shea.
Keep up the good work team RMW!
xx
What a beautiful, heartfelt post and it’s reassuring to hear that other people have highs and lows in their marriage. Marriage is so amazing but you need to put the work in – I’ve had ongoing health complications and surgeries both in the run up to the wedding and since the wedding. It’s incredibly difficult at times, especially when it feels like everyone else’s marriage is rosy and wonderful! My husband has been totally supportive, wonderful and I don’t know how I would have got through the last 12 months without him!
I love the honesty on RMW, it was my daily addiction in the run up to my wedding last September and I still keep coming back as it’s just so brilliant! Keep up the good work team!
x
PS – Beautiful photos!
Having been an avid follower (obviously) of my lovely daughters RMW, she has invited me to comment on the joys of marriage. I met my lovely man on valentines day 41 years ago at Cardiff Uni and it was lust at first sight (sorry Charlotte) We have been married for 35 years and have had our share of highs and lows, triumphs and disasters!! Along the way we produced 2 beautiful and talented daughters, of whom we are extremely proud. Charlotte and James are deservedly living the dream, and for what its worth these are my 4 golden rules for a long and happy marriage.
Respect
Trust
Laughing together
Mutual compromise
(I forgot the lust)
Remember, enjoy every minute, life isn’t a dress rehearsal and time really does fly!!
Firstly, it’s not fair to look that pretty in pictures when you’re being barged by tourists on a bridge. Not fair at all. Secondly, Charlotte I commend your bravery for posting something so personal, so honest and so different from the fluffy stuff that is usually doled out around marriage. And thirdly, every single person I know that is getting married has now been converted to a RMWer (including a Canadian contingent – oh yes, international!). In fact some of my single friends read this blog because a) they have a crush on Adam or b) they like to throw big parties and steal the ideas from here!
Charlotte and Adam you should be extremely pleased with the magic that you have created in blogland and I (and my small army of dedicated RMWers) hope you continue long after I get wed.
Oh Charlotte O’Shea, you beautiful thing, you!
Lovely, lovely post. Your honesty has given me goose bumps and there has been one or two times when I have had slight mini (or major) meltdown and my wonderful boyfriend has picked me up, so I can understand (to a certain extent) how you feel.
You, James (and Adam!) are an inspiration x
Having been through a bit of a ‘black winter’ myself recently, including the sobbing and the “I’m such a bad wife” wailing and moaning, I totally get where you’re coming from. I also know that I wouldn’t be where I am now – in business or personally – if it wasn’t for my husband who is my rock. I don’t know how he puts up with his workaholic, twitter-obsessed, wedding-obsessed, self-doubting wife. But he does, and so do my children. Husband is also far more responsible than me for turning them into amazing little people.
When we’re surrounded by weddings, we live in a constant state of thinking that everyone else is blissfully happy all of the time. Of course, they’re not – we all have problems we need to work through, and we all have stresses that we need to deal with. It’s easy to forget that when reading stories of the perfect wedding day, or looking at photos of people blissfully in love. But that’s just a snapshot of their real lifes.
The photos are gorgeous, Charlotte. I know how nervous you were that day, you hated being photographed, but you really can’t tell – you’re both smokin’ hot!
your post gave me warm fuzzys, thanks for cheering up my day!
Oh gosh this is going to be a long one, overwhelmed by everyone’s kindness on this post, I have had me a little cry and a little dance over the comments.
@Ann – I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing to discuss work, I am genuinely interested in what James does and although I won’t fib and say he loves me jabbering on about weddings all day (!) he does appreciate how passionate I am about it and has really got involved in the business side of things these last six months to help me out – he actually quite enjoyed it!
@Sama – Pet, that was so nicely put, when James and I met I was the breadwinner and it was a weird shift when that changed, I have always been fiercely independent money-wise and it’s been challenging letting that go. I And for the record I’m your your boy believes in you very much indeed.
@Kirsten – ha ha ha now you know I’m not married to Adam
thanks for your kind words x
@Stephanie – Welcome! nice to *meet* you!
@Nicola – sounds as though you are both doing great, long may it continue
@ Vix – Lady with lovely face, you have an even lovelier heart. Go get ‘em you Account Management Vixen you…. Love ya x
@Alex (84) – Honestly, you have the most photogenic face, can’t wait to see your W-day pics!
@Katy – That’s nice to hear pet, we do try and have a little bit of a mix of content now and then, keeps things fresh and whatnot. And honestly you wouldn’t want to see me on a normal frazzled day *scary* !!
@Alexander – Bless you, I am really happy that folk appreciated the rose-tinted specs coming off for a while.
@Melissa (my sister btw!) – When you come help out at the NWS shows you will be SURROUNDED by pretty, hope your ready!
@Louise – *Weather The Storm* – I like that very much. And sounds like you are doing a stellar job.
@Naughty – Pixie you still have the most beautiful words ever, in 1997 you did and now again in 2012, I hope I know you forever. And it’s not just so I can pinch your YSL shoes… Love you Naughty one x
@Jem – woo must be 44 days now right? it was Kate Moss for Topshop, bit old now (about 2 years I think)
@Shell – *The Best Thing Since Sliced Bread* – I feel very happy indeed. I hope your work dreams come true and feel free to come join Team RMW in our quest for global domination! x
Charlotte xxx
Such a refreshing and honest post Charlotte, amazing! It is so easy to get caught up in the wedding pretty and forget how tough marriage can be. I love the honesty that it IS tough and not a bed of roses. You should be very very proud of RMW and the strength of your marriage.
I started reading RMW regularly last summer and I have been hooked ever since. ‘Black summer’ certainly wasn’t immediately evident and I think you and Adam have done an amazing job especially whilst juggling the day jobs.
Cannot wait to find out about the project next week….do we really have to wait that long?!
PS Love Charlotte’s mum’s advice x
Perfect timing for me to read something like this as have been struggling with the not so rosy part of marriage where you start your lovely family but then having a baby while you’re still both trying to work full time from home means you’re both sleep-deprived, exhausted, grumpy, overly sensitive, emotional, irritable, forgetful, overwhelmed etc etc and it’s tough. Very tough. But also totally worth it, as you say – you’re so right about that.
@Lucette – *waves* hello so nice to *see* you – hope you will appear some more in the future and long after 3.5 months!
@ComeWhatMae – Fake it ’til you make it – that is immense… the thing is you know what? I honestly hadn’t “enjoyed” working on RMW as much as the last 6 months either in some respects, I guess when you are up against it you either give up or give it 110%, thanks to James I did the latter. And really appreciate the chemistry comment, we drive each other insane at times but that’s ALWAYS there, even if we have a bit of a barney… ha ha x
@Annie – Oh my you will have the greatest honeymoon ever! where are you going? love hearing about folks travel plans
@Jen – oh another new community member – lovely to *meet* you too pet, don’t keep away – keep commenting!
@Alice – of course! MAC blusher in Well dressed with MAC strobe lotion to highlight (for glowy bits) MAC nylon eyeshadow (makes you look less tired) and YSL Beige Tribute lipstick (number 10) my concealer is Dolce and Gabbana in a twisty up pen x
@Becs – I think you hit the nail on the head there, as much as sometimes all I want to do is lie down I wouldn’t have it any other way – if I did I wouldn’t have started this in the first place. I love the sound of your sewing shop! do you sell beads? I am obsessed with beads and ribbons and thread… must pay a visit sometime x
@Ange – I haven’t had a peeky yet but I will do – love your blog name!
@Hollie – Your comment today made Adam’s – seriously. I think we might have to put that on an on-line dating ad or something ” lovely, sensitive tecchy man who knows all things wedding” – genius!
@Angela – so sorry to hear you have been unwell, I didn’t mention it in the post but we’ve had some family illness and general difficulty on top of everything else, it just wasn’t something for RMW though. I hope you are now fighting fit and have the most amazing September wedding x
@Mum – ha ha ha, no I don’t want to know about your lust for Dad (I mean really? he looked like a bee gee?!) and yes you are right, it isn’t a dress rehearsal – that’s why I’m making the most of it. Thanks for all of your support and general cheerleading these past 6 months, I’m just sorry I didn’t take your advice over a year ago, you always have been a much better judge of character than I and you ALWAYS do know best. And if we can make 41 years (41 years!!) then I will definitely be living the dream. Love you xx
@Beckie K – I love that you have an RMW army, if I could kiss you right now I would. Failing that I can offer you a T-shirt/banner/flag with blue polka dots and “Big Love” on it. I also think maybe if your friends are single we can set them up on a date with Adam – they must like stationery though
@Alice Chorely – When you get engaged and then married BAGGSIE I get your wedding on here. (by the way baggsie was an early 90′s term for “save” or “reserve” – you may be too young to know as when I met you at the Niemerko party I thought you looked 17… That’s a compliment by the way)
@Eliza – I can’t believe you have come as far as you have with all those responsibilities. You were always a great photographer but now I think you really are in the big league – that Wild Thing feature was all kinds of awesome. And thanks so much regarding the pics, I didn’t say anything at the time but I’d spent the entire week prior throwing up and generally looking green – I was wearing SO much make-up that day!!!!
@Christie – that made me laugh out loud!! Warm and fuzzies right back at ya!
@Becksy – Thanks millions pet, I honestly didn’t see the benefit in bringing it to “work” as it were, plus it was a nice place for Adam and I to escape to too – you guys make us smile and laugh every single day.
@Photmadly – Lovin’ the icon! so glad it’s all been worth it!
Big Love People
Charlotte xxx
Las Vegas, Hawaii and San Francisco – can. not. wait!
@Charlotte@rockmywedding Of course we have plenty of ribbon and beautiful fabric and luckily enough there is a whole shop dedicated to beads just next door. We also do loads of different workshops to test out your sewing skills, all with plenty of tea and biscuits!
@Annie – great honeymoon choice, we’re doing San Francisco, LA and Miami!
Charlotte
I’m a bit late to this party, but I just wanted to reaffirm what a great job you do. I’ve been married nearly two years and I still love reading RMW- I think a large part of that us you and your teams personality that shine through.
Keep up the amazing job!
Life is never what we expect and never goes to plan, but having a wonderful person to share the bumps with makes it all better!
A beautifully written and engaging piece Charlotte, filled with passion, inspiration & honesty. You guys looks great in the photos too, thanks for being such good models! Px
ahhhhh Charlotte, this is such a heat-warming piece. My eyes prickeld as you talked about Mr O’Shea (does he have an Irish accent BTW? I picture him with one for some reason!)
Life is full of ups and downs, the downers being the difficult ones to swallow. Having a supportive partner though is the bees. Andy has been there for me so much, he knows the right things to say and do and sometimes I can’t believe how lucky I am to find such a guy.
I love RMW almost as much as Andy (no joke). I know it will continue to grow as it simply the bestest.
Really want to meet you all again. Muchos Love xxxxxxxxxxxx
Tee hee, Charlotte, I am just about an 80′s baby so I’m fully aware of ‘baggsie’.
xx
And yes, you can definitely have my wedding, I’ll keep you posted
Just had time to catch up on some of these lovely comments.
Charlottle and Adam you Rock our Wedding World. Keep up the great work you gorgeous lot.
Love these pics and I sit here typing with an imitation of Charlotte’s up do from the pics! Total inspiration in so many ways!
Cheers loves
xxxx
Holy smokes Mrs O’Shea, these photos are INCREDIBLE. You guys make one seriously foxy couple!
This has to be one of the most heartwarming posts on RMW ever. Naomi is totally right – you dealt with the events of 2011 with so much dignity AND simultaneously managed, along with the wonderful Mr Crohill, to make RMW even more brilliant than it ever had been before. It must’ve been horrible to think that your readership had fallen, and such a stonking relief to find out that the opposite was true!
Teacher training alongside the wedding planning is starting to take is toll on me, but Mr A is being an absolute star. It makes me feel so lucky and so happy to read your words and realise that I have a similarly supportive, caring (and ruddy handsome) hubby-to-be
Keep up the FANTASTIC work – You, Adam, Jenny, Vix, and now Mrs L (*yay*) make up a real force to be reckoned with!
Biggest love xxx
One of my favourite blogs ever Charlotte, thank you for sharing. I too have experienced the stomach wrenching realisation that it’s all gone to pot only to discover it was an Analytics mishap, and man can we do with that! x