Charlotte: I hear this often. In fact I was one of those girls that felt it.
After attending so many amazing themed/organised within-an-inch-of-their-life events where everyone had the best time ever….I felt a huge amount of pressure to pull off something equally as awesome.
Well there was my first epic fail. It’s not so much you (as in the bride) that should be creating this event, it should be a collaborative effort from all of your best girls. Yes, even if you are the worlds greatest control freak. I started off trying to do too much of it myself (“I am always the “party planner” so why should this be any different” was my initial thought) and what with a wedding to organise in 4 months managed to get myself in a bit of a pickle.
Luckily for me I have an enthusiastic sister and an experienced hen-do planning best friend so they took the reigns and left me to worry about ceremony readings and canapés.
Rule number one – DELEGATE.
Rule number two – make it clear what kind of thing makes you happy/laugh/you enjoy. And what type of thing genuinely doesn’t. Just this week I heard about a girl that had told her maids that under no uncertain terms did she want any kind of greased up “fireman” removing his uniform and swinging his um…hose (?) in front of her to the dulcet tones of “You Can Leave Your Hat On”.
They ignored her.
Firman Sam not only covered her new fancy frock in a rather unpleasant baby-oil sheen but insisted she lick whipped cream off of his…crotch.
She burst into tears. And promptly left the room.
A bit extreme but still, my moto is it should be about everybody having a good time and if you are the type that could think of nothing better than a bit of almost-naked Nigel shaking his posterior then cool – make your friends aware of that. And if you really don’t then tell them that too. Hopefully you will have a more sympathetic crowd than that of the non-lover of gyrating desserts mentioned above.
One of the most fun hen parties I attended was that of my best friends actually. I suggested a “Miss World” theme – hilarious. And meant we could wear pretty dresses (albeit with a god awful plastic tiara) and spend the evening doing various poses, “walking the runway” and acceptance speeches which became increasingly amusing the more cocktails that were consumed. The whole thing was quite relaxed which for me personally, is what takes the pressure off – i.e. there wasn’t any requirement to fit fifteen different activities in when all you really want to do is catch up with your nearest and dearest and indulge in a mojito.
Taking this into account my do became “The Glamorous Tour” a weekend in London that consisted of shopping, false lashes, afternoon tea, dancing and great company.
Was it the most immense hen party ever? actually no, it wasn’t. How’s that for honesty?!
A small part of me, because it was mine always felt a little bit responsible for everyone else having the time of their lives.
But I did enjoy myself thoroughly. And that’s all that matters anyway.
Please do share your best (and worst!) experiences in the comments box below as well as your own party plans lovelies.
Naomi: As far as hen parties go… mine was a corker. Well, I am going to say that, right? But seriously… It was Goddamn spectacular. We held it in Belfast (my home town) and the whole shebang involved much delight and debauchery. I’ll not give you too many details. I could fill a full on post of my own with anecdotes of that weekend. There were no ‘L’ plates nor veils laced with condoms, but there was many a willy straw, a stripper (in my hotel room!) and an afternoon spent at “Trannyoke” in a gay bar. In fact, it was pretty damn full of mischief.
Firstly, it was a weekend long stay in Mal Maison. Which we split into two celebrations. My little sister was only 15 at the time and couldn’t join us for the full stint. But I didn’t want her to miss out. So, the first night we all had a meal, followed by a girly sleepover in my hotel suite. I also had my Mum, Nanny and family friends come to this one. We all wore pajamas, had a bunch of drinks and had the best laugh until the wee hours.
The second night, however, was just for me and my friends (this is where the stripper gets involved)… as you can imagine, not something I want my poor wee Nanny to see. The girls had asked me to wear a killer dress, I wore a very short, champagne, beaded flapper style number; while everyone else wore a little black dress. This was perfect because I felt super special, and no one had to fork out cash for a new outfit.
During the day they had organised a burlesque class and an afternoon at Trannyoke in Union Street Bar. Beyond hilarious. It turned out that my Mum knew the drag queen (Tina Leggs Tantrum). He was a fella that she grew up with. Bizarre.
My advice? Leave the hen do up to your best girlies. It was tempting to delve right into it and want to make it perfect, but it ended up being one less thing for me to get all control freak over and it goes down as one of the best weekends of my life. Fact.
Vix: Obviously I haven’t had my hen yet (not long now though!) but I have been to a few now and I LOVE them, I think it’s such a special time especially if they are a close friend. The do’s I have been on have all been so different, I think my favourite hen so far was my close friend Stacy’s in Brighton. I knew most of the people that went and it was friggin’ hilarious, I have not laughed so much in one weekend before. It was hot and sunny the entire stay, we got a mini bus down to Brighton filled with ice buckets of beer and wine. Stacy was a great sport and wore a Chicken/ Hen outfit including a funny chicken hat for the whole of the first day. We actually made her stand outside KFC in the services on the way down for a laugh, the looks she got were brilliant. The whole weekend was just full of laughs and giggles. I’m considering myself quite lucky she can’t make mine as she has had a beautiful baby girl (Bella) very recently so she can’t get me back!!…. Although it really wont be the same without her.
We also dressed up on the “main” night as Sailor girls and Stacy was the captain which was also great fun. Stacy’s Sister-in-law Joanna got attacked by a giant Seagull which had us in stitches for the entire day….needless to say the weekend was a liquid weekend….food was for wimps!
That was our motto – seriously one of the best weekends EVER!
All the hens I have been on have been really fun, I don’t think it’s about where you go or what the weather does (although I guess sun is a bonus anytime in this country) it’s about who you are with. I am lucky enough to have 11 fantastic girlies coming to my hen weekend in November, we’re off to Glasgow (it’s going to be FFFreeeezing!!) but I have been in love with the place since my sister Sarah got married there 6 years ago. I’m hoping that the Christmas lights will be up and the festive season will get us in the mood.
I’m not entirely sure of the plans apart from shopping under the influence of champagne on the first day and Charlotte, you may have to restrain me from purchasing the new Chloe bag I have got my eye on, or even the Jimmy Choo shoes – Uh Oh!! The rest, I have no idea about, I have warned that there will be no ‘L Plates’ or my sister will be demoted to a mere guest. I don’t mind being dressed up to look like a goon though, all part of the fun in my opinion.
19 weeks to go!
Big Best Girl Love
Charlotte, Naomi and Vix xxx
I loved my hen do, really really loved it but I was always worry that it wasn’t as fun for everyone as it could have been. I got severe tonsillitis two days before we packed our bags and hopped off glamping in North Norfolk so although I had a wonderful time I had to take naps, curb my drinking and ensure I had paracetamol and ibuprofen on me at all times. However we did have wheel barrow races, go and play arcade games by the sea, make our own face masks, and it was just amazing to have my besties to myself for a whole weekend. Next weekend is my “get really hammered in town” hen do with a few work people and various friends who were not at the main hen do. So I intend to make up for the lack of drinking on the first one then!
Vic Glasgow for your hen will be awesome! It’s my hometown so I may be slightly biased, but I hope you have a great time
bring your thermals though, it’ll be chilly in November (especially if this summer has been anything to go by!) xx
@Vix – Glasgow is loads of fun you’ll have a great time!
I’ve decided on Brighton for mine, I’ve never been and with my 50% fag-hag / 50% music loving mod biological make-up, it’s the perfect place for me! I have to admit I’m a teeny bit of a control freak but I’ve told my besties that once all the nasty, awkward, cash collecting is out the way then I am handing full control over to them… Terrified!! It will be boss though, cos whatever we do we’ll have a scream. Can’t wait!
xxx
I was looking forward to a west Wales glamping and outdoor activity weekend, me to a tee, but it’s likely to have to be scaled back somewhat as one of my best friends will have a 7 month old by then and us not sure yet whether she’s going to be able to leave her for any length of time
It’s more important to me that my closest friends are all there rather than where we actually are, so now I’m considering a weekend in a town near where she lives, so there are many options for her to be included, be it for the entire time, or popping backwards and forwards, or just for one afternoon.
My Maid of Dishonour is a seasoned hen-do organising pro, so I’m leaving it entirely in her capable hands w̶h̶i̶c̶h̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶k̶i̶l̶l̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶m̶e̶,̶ ̶c̶o̶n̶t̶r̶o̶l̶ ̶f̶r̶e̶a̶k̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶I̶ ̶a̶m̶.̶
In the past 2 years I’ve been on 2 very extravagant hen parties, both amazing because of the effort put in by the best girls! The first was a WEEK in ibiza in our own villa, a real home from home….with a pool, cocktails and a serious amount of clubbing! Loved it! Mine was to follow and I was worried it wouldn’t match up! We decided barcelona was the place and I wasn’t dissappointed! My bridesmaids were amazing, it was all a surprise but they knew me so well and organised a stunning apartment, a very organised itinerary and map (again they know me so well!), a night of flamenco, an amazing club and even a pyjama party! I had an incredible time! Let them surprise you, it’s worth it and means less organising for you!x
I had three hen nights (a bit greedy I know!) one with all my girl pals which had a sex and the city theme which involved staying at the hoxton hotel, having afternoon tea that had a sex in the city theme to it (think chocolate shoes, cocktails instead of champagne,mini burgers and mini jellys in cocktail glasses) followed by getting all dolled up in our best SATC style outfits and going for a meal and drinks afterwards. It was a fab weekend nothing too wild but I didnt really fancy that.
The second was with my sis,mum,nan and Guy’s sis,mum and nan we went to danesfields house and had afternoon tea and sat in the beautiful gardens. This I will treasure as my nan passed away this year so it was very special to be able to share that day with her.
My third was with all my work girl pals this was a bit more wild this involved dinner at a Greek restaurant that got a bit wild with dancing on the tables and me dancing with a some what dodgy Greek waiter. All the girls got very excited when we spotted Gavin Henson sat outside a bar I had to beg them not to go up to him!
I loved being able to share those times with everyone and doing something different with each group was a lot more stress free than having to find something everyone could do together (my mum would never have gone up to london)
I don’t understand the pressure to have the most amazing event for your hen do, I hear so often now people going on weekends away abroad etc not only does it cost a lot of money for you and your friends it just adds to the stress of the wedding.
I had my hen do last weekend, I left the entire thing to my big sister and my 3 bridesmaids. It was IMMENSE!
I didn’t want the hassle of organising a hen do and a wedding at the same time, particularly with the pressure of throwing the “best weekend in anyones life EVER”. So I asked my girls to do it for me.
They told me in advance what the plan was so that I could plan my outfits accordingly (of course) and they really did not disappoint. We went glamping in Petersfield, staying in mongolian yurts with real beds and fireplaces! We had a murder mystery on the Friday night (HI-LAR-IOUS) then went line dancing on saturday (because I have a really cool taste in music) then to a comedy club and night club on the Saturday night.
It truely was the best weekend I have ever had, my sister is supoer organised and there were tons of little surprises thrown in.
My advice would defo be to give up control to your girls, they love you and know you well enough to plan the perfect do. My sister had me write a must have and must not have (willy head boppers, stripper, L plates…) list so I knew the important things would be taken care of. And the girls told me the whole plan before the invites even went out so I could make sure it was everything that I wanted
Wow I must’ve loved it, I have never written such a long comment!
xXx
I am loving the amount of you going glamping!
I totally would have loved that too.
Also, @Jules… A week in Ibiza? Holy Magoly!
I didn’t have a hen do. I know I might sound like a bit of a grump but I don’t really like them. I hate the whole tacky L-plates thing, and doing anything more sophisticated seemed to cost a fortune – not ideal when you have a wedding coming up! I don’t have many girl friends really so to make it work I would have ended up having to invite people from work (who weren’t invited to the wedding) or the partners of the boys going on the stag do (most of which I don’t know all that well). We contemplated having a Sten Do (joint hen and stag) but in the end we scrapped all the plans as a cost saving measure and just went out for a nice meal with both families – with the Mr being from Australia it was a good chance for the Aussie lot to meet the English lot
When I was a bridesmaid for my friend I missed her hen do as we were moving house that weekend. They had a great time at a murder mystery weekend but have to say, from what I’ve heard, the bride got so paralytic that she completely ruined the dress she had bought specially, and only has vague memories of the evening. Call me old but that no longer appeals to me.
The one hen do I did go on was my hubby’s cousin. I was a bit shocked to be asked as I didn’t know her all that well back then, but I knew her well by the end of the weekend! We hired a group of cottages with a spa in the middle of nowhere for the weekend. We all brought food and booze, some went coasteering, and the spa was available for anyone wanting treatments. The different options meant you could spend as little or as much as you wanted so it suited all budgets. The pool and jacuzzi were awesome for all getting together to chill out and relax. On the last night we went to the local pub and probably terrified the locals! lol. One of the most fun and relaxing weekends I’ve been on, but it was the mix of people that made it really work.
xx
Just starting to think about what were going to do for mine, no naked men, no l-plates, no willy straws…….I do fancy a pair of deeley boppers though!!
I’m looking for glamping locations, Those that have been I’d live you o share the details with me please!! Hmaustin@hotmail.com
I want to do something ‘me’ and although that prob would be a week in Ibiza I couldn’t and wouldn’t expect my friends to pay out, so i thinking glamping
Stupid iPad in the train!
Glamping with friends, afternoon tea with family and mybe a crazy Ibiza weekend with my sister??! 3 hen do’s?! Bit greedy?!
X
I am so excited about my hen do it is in Marbella I know this bit as I organised the flights and the villa. We are all from Essex and it seemed the perfect mix trash and a lovely girly holiday!
It was easier for me to do booking as the group is a mix of friend, old school friends and family and it worked out really well. I didn’t want my sister having to chase for money from people she didn’t know, and as much as I love my friends this can be hard work!!
However, that is it I know nothing else apart from the fact I need to buy a white dress (worrying!!) and denim shorts. It is such a relief not to have to organise it and have that element of stress taken away. My younger sister is in charge and she and the rest of the girls know me very well so I am not worried just really excited! 6 weeks to go! xx
I had an amazing hen do!! My sister and my best friend did me proud!
They organised Scout Camp for me in a village hall, with camp beds and sleeping bags galore. They sorted out everything from camp beds and cocktails to camp fires and marshmallows and I didn’t worry one iota!! Okay, maybe one but that was all!
They surrounded me with some of my best ladies, all dressed up looking like major 12 year old geeks in scout uniform, which was mandatory, and we had a wail of a time. I didn’t feel so great the next morning though I can tell you!
It’s my fiancé’s stag this weekend and my hen the following – I purposely “scheduled” them this way round so that I judge how wild the stag party was before we have ours! Was/is anyone nervous about their husband-to-be’s stag?
My dad and uncles are attending, so I’m not too concerned (plus he has a good group of mates) – pretty sure he’ll end up wearing a dress or something but hopefully that’s the worst of it.
My mum and aunt plus his mum are coming to the hen, we’re going to York – spa, champagne tea etc. No “L” plates for me either, but I don’t mind a bit of silliness – it’s only happening the once afterall!
I really struggled not to take control, especially when we were 3-4 months away and nothing had been done! I decided on the location and then let my girls take over. I think my sister has organised most of it, she has been a complete superstar and we’ve definitely grown closer with the lead up to the wedding.
I don’t think its greedy, but just the thought of 3 hen do’s makes me feel tired!
I had my hen do last weekend, and I have been feeling a weird sense of loss that it is over now, so it’s really nice to read everyone else’s experiences!
My hen do was absolutely amazing. I organised the “bulk” of the weekend, then my best girls transformed it into the best weekend of my life! We hired a cottage near Oxford for two nights, the first night the girls organised drinks and games at the house, they made sure everyone could get involved and gave out lots of little prizes. On the Saturday we set up our own afternoon tea on vintage china and had a lady round to do quilt making. I loved it! Everyone made squares which were taken away to be sewn and finished into a quilt for me to treasure forever! We then took a minibus to Oxford where more drinking, dancing, games and dares followed! It was seriously food fun, and I was thoroughly spoiled. Lots of my friends have since said it was the best hen do they’ve been on, and I put that down to all the little extras my girlies planned.
I now have an afternoon tea coming up with the mums, bridesmaids and sisters-in-laws, and then an afternoon of punting and drinking with people from work. Can’t wait!!
Did anyone else feel really sad and bereft when their hen do was over?!
I had 3 hen do’s too, sort of by accident..
Another girl from my work was getting married at a similar time so we had a work ladies weekend at a friend’s flat on a Scottish island, involving walks on the beach, a visit to a fabric factory, a lot of coffees and cakes and the local nightspots fuelled by champagne and jaegarbombs.
My school friends who couldn’t make my proper hen do took me for dinner and surprised me with some special guests – I turned around at one point and they all had Take That masks on, genius! The masks made an appearance in our photobooth at the wedding too.
My main hen do (originally the only one I planned to have) was in Glasgow – so I can personally recommend it!! We did a treasure hunt around town which was amazing, rented a great apartment for everyone to use as a base, and then did cocktail making and dinner…
This post struck a chord though because I think there’s a MASSIVE pressure to have the best night ever. I honestly had such a brilliant time, all my friends and family got on so well and was over the moon with the day and how everyone threw themselves into the treasure hunt. BUT I had been so stressed in the run up and then SO relieved when everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves that all the drinks went straight to my head, and as the hen, any of the spare cocktails came my way, resulting in me disgracing myself at about 10pm at night and having to be taken home by my mum. A terrible mortifying end to what had been an amazing day. I still have cringy guilt about it though everyone assured me that the point of a hen do is for the bride to get trashed. Hmmm. So a word of warning – pace yourself because you will kick yourself if you end up missing lovely time with all your best girls. Still have the booze fear now, 4 months on!!
@Anna K ScoutHen sounds immense!
@Sarah I have stag do fear. Mr P is quite a sensitive soul and into the great outdoors and music and good food but I fear he’ll end up with the statutory tits-and-arse-in-town-piss-up because that’s what will be organised for him and that’s what he’ll feel obliged to go along with ‘for the lads’
Not only does this offend me, I feel he deserves more. I’ve had to accept though that this is one area of the nuptials I really cannot control whatsoever.
Good idea for a future discussion post on here though – “Surviving the Stag – a Bride’s Perspective”
With a May 2013 wedding, no Hen plans have been made yet. Since getting engaged I’ve been thinking I want to keep it simple and cheap- one day and one night in London so people can go home at the end of the day and not have to fork out loads. But having just been to a Hen this weekend in London, where people took the mick a little bit and came and went where they wanted to (because everyone lived in and around London), I’ve decided I definitely want to get away- I need full commitment!
I organised my bestie’s Hen in Brighton a few weeks ago, and though we struggled a bit on the Saturday day (the rain spoilt our plans not once, but twice!) we all had a brilliant time and it was so nice to get to know everyone properly before the main event xx
@Philippa Yes, good idea – I’m spending the weekend at my sister’s and away from Facebook. I’ve threatened his best man (who is single) that he’ll get him back one day if its anything too bad!
Although, I do think he feels equally nervous about my hen… I’m just hoping I’m not paralytic by 10pm (it has been known) and being put in a taxi by my mum. But @Fiona M, I think it happens to the best of us!!
Ooh, such an apt title. I felt HUGE pressure to do something wild ‘n’ crazy which isn’t really me. My sister who was organising it was up for doing the whole veil, L-plates weekend away which was so not what I wanted. I also have a very diverse group of friends so was worried how everyone would get on if it were a whole weekend. Plus I wanted to be considerate to people’s various financial budgets, the fact that all my friends are now married with 1,2,3 or 4 children so had to consider childcare, and 3 close friends are pregnant!
I originally settled on an evening at a burlesque club but a few people cancelled (for legitimate reasons) & I was starting to ‘dread’ the evening as those still attending didn’t know each other so I felt I would be ‘hosting’ it, so I cancelled it! In the end I had 3 smaller do’s, dinner & drinks in town (London) for those I knew could afford it. Drinks in Surrey for my local friends & last Thursday, drinks & dancing with my work colleagues (which I have to say was my fav night as it was mixed!).
So what I’m basically trying to say is, I think there is huge pressure these days to have a huge weekend of activities but if you don’t want that, it’s fine too. I’m so glad I had smaller gatherings, I felt more relaxed & got to spend quality time with my different groups of friends.
I totally understand the whole pressure thing. No hen-do arranged yet (Nov ’13 wedding) but…I’m not having bridesmaids. What to do in this situation??? Who should I ask to do the organising or should I do it myself???
Have had thoughts about going to a Roller Disco…loads of fun and the dressing up options are endless…and potentially more classy than L plates and willy deely boppers! Can’t help already stressing :s
@ Vix – you’ll have an ace time in Glasgow, the shopping is awesome and the banter even better (can you tell I’m biased, I’m a weedgie!)
@Annie – I didn’t have bridesmaids either, but my two best friends in Glasgow took on a huge amount of organising, all I did was co-ordinate when people would arrive and who was staying where.. It would have been stressful sorting it out just on my own so I recommend you enlist some friends to help – the planning was fun too so sure you’ll sort it. Roller disco sounds AMAZING..
Oh my goodness. What strange timing. I just had my hen party this weekend! I felt under so much pressure for it to be the best night ever but didn’t know what was happening because it was all organised by the bridesmaids. Being a bit of a control freak this was unbearable and I was awful to my poor fiance in the lead up to it.
There was also such a lot of pressure because I was just having a hen night and not a whole weekend which seems to be the done thing these days. I felt like it wouldn’t be as good as others I had been to. Was it exactly what I wanted? No but it was a good night and it took a lot of effort for my bridesmaids to organise and now its all over I really do appreciate that. We went to London, drank champagne on the train, had a relaxed lunch, did a foreplay lesson (much funnier and less cringey than it sounds and we got a certificate at the end), then went to Bloomsbury Lanes for bowling, pizza and karaoke. Everyone seemed to have a good time. At the end of the day it was good to have all my friends in one place before the wedding to get to know each other a bit better.
It sounds terrible but it is a bit of a relief that it is over! Now the main focus is back on the wedding and my husband to be again. I think he will feel the same after his this weekend too.
It’s my hen do in Brighton this weekend and I’m so excited! But also slightly nervous as I’ve been on some fantastic hen dos over the past couple of years and I hope mine lives up to my expectations! So I completely understand the pressure! I planned the accommodation and the activities as I couldn’t relinquish complete control but my BMs are organising the Saturday night, where we’re going etc, and I know they’ve got some surprises up their sleeves!
@ Annie – I don’t have any bridesmaids for my wedding either (have asked my best friend to be my witness to sign the register instead), and so I decided on the venue for my hen do myself… but as I was my best friend’s maid of honour, she and another friend of mine have taken it upon themselves to organise a few ‘surprises’ for me on the day.
I’m going to have a vintage tea party experience at The Vintage Patisserie in London in a few weeks’ time. It’s in a private penthouse, complete with full afternoon tea served on vintage china, 20s – 40s music playing, a dress up box with feather boas, pearls etc., plus a vintage stylist who’ll be doing my hair and make-up for me and we all get a little gift from ‘What Katie Did’ (a vintage-style lingerie company) when we leave. I’m really looking forward to it… Bought a fab 50s dress from Dollydagger in Brighton to wear, and hopefully everyone else will be dressing up for the event too.
Wowee!!
All of your various hen dos sound flipping fantastic – I have to say that I’ve left all hen do related activities to two of my besties and I haven’t a clue what they’ve planned. I don’t even know where I’m going so I am feeling a tinsy bit nervous as like many of you I am a self-confessed control freak!!
I’m positive that they’ll pull off something spectacular – in fact it’s only a month away!
@Annie I asked two of my closest friends to organise my hen do and they’re not bridesmaids. They were chomping at the bit to put on their planning hats so don’t be afraid to ask.
@Sama it really is great to meet all the girly mates from all parts of the bride’s life before the big day. A wedding I went to recently was even more fun because I had double the number of dancing pals because we’d bonded at the hen do!!
@Fiona M. Three hen dos AND a treasure hunt!! You lucky lucky girl!
@LaurenA – the quilt sounds absolutely blimming lovely- what a gorgeous keepsake to remember your girls by.
@Anna K – I wanna go to Scout camp!
I cannot bear ‘organised fun’ and so I opted for pizza out in Notting Hill and then on to my friends flat in Portobello where we will drink the booze my Dad picked up in France. My main aim was that everyone have a good night out for under £50! I am sure my sister will have a few tricks up her sleeve but having had mini-hen do (curry and Cava) with my 15 year old Goddaughter/bridesmaid which was so much fun I am really looking forward to it!
The best hen dos I’ve been to have been cheap and cheerful, so no-one is priced out and there’s no angst about how much it’s all costing. Weddings are expensive anyway, for guests as well as the bride and groom, and lots of people end up going to several in one year so it all adds up.
My cousin’s wife’s hen do was amazing – started with a zumba class at 11am which was hilarious and broke the ice. The best thing about hen do’s is not the activities but meeting your friend’s other friends, and then getting to catch up with them again at the wedding..
Anyone going for an olympic themed do? I’m thinking retro sportswear and maybe an obstacle race? x
Early on I vetoed anything too expensive (there were mutterings about New York which I wanted to scotch) and I have a list of don’ts:
There will be no:
• Pink
• Glitter/sparkle/diamante
• L plates
• Angel wings
• Fancy dress of any description
• Veils
• ‘Novelty’ items
• Dares
• Tiaras
• Sashes
• Limos
• Wands
• Ritual humiliation
. Strippers (see above)
This is a starter list! But I really feel for the girl Charlotte describes. I’d just walk out.
Luckily my best friends wouldn’t do that to me. We’re apparently having high tea, a Charleston dance lesson, cocktails and supper. Perfect!
There will only be a handful of us (c6) but that’s okay, right? That’s the only thing I feel a bit vulnerable on. I love my friends and they’re a select bunch – but more select than I’d realised and I now feel a bit little Miss Unpopular. Funny how these things expose your vulnerabilities, isn’t it?
I worry about my hen do! Despite the fact that most of my friends are married I’ve only ever been to one low key hen do of my colleagues a couple of years ago and one non-hen ( the wedding was called off at the last minutes but the tickets to amsterdam were booked and so it became a cheering the hen up do). Some of my friends have had hens but they’ve been organised at the other end of the country with only a couple of weeks notice and I’ve not been able to make it due to work or transport or money. One friend is having a weekend in Ibiza which is just soooo expensive I can’t justify at least £500 on someone elses weekend when I’m saving for a wedding. Is that selfish? So I worry that because I’ve not made it to other peoples they won’t feel bad about not making it to mine. To try and combat this I’ve asked my bridesmaids to give everyone as much notice as possible and keep it less than £150 a head, but I still really worry that no one will come……
I’m currently in bed recovering from my hen do!!
I’m a massive control freak normally but left it all to my bridesmaids and knew nothing about it until we got there – and it was the best decision I made. Not only did we have an epically awesome day (80s themed It’s a Knockout, followed by dinner, games and a Grease themed might out in reflex!) the best thing about it was the thought and effort that had been out in by my nearest and dearest
I don’t think I’ve ever been so touched.
I think the key is to not worry about other brides/hens, do what makes you happy and let your friends share in that happiness. I’m sure my hen isn’t everyone’s idea of fun but it was perfect for a cheeseball like me!!
Happy henning everyone, I’m going back to sleep!! Xx
I’m not having a hen do for many reasons, from being too shy to have all that attention on me to feeling like I don’t have that many close friends to justify a hen do (most from my 20s have moved away or become very sensible parents and don’t want to go out like that). I also live in a town which crawls with stag and hen do every weekend and that has put me off even more! It just doesn’t seem like ‘me’ at all.
I love Periodot’s list and comment – a Charleston dance lesson and high tea sounds lovely. And I don’t think 6 is too few, Peridot – I would struggle now to find that many for myself! I think you’ll have a lovely time.
@Lucy – thanks, that’s really reassuring.
Hi,
I had my hen do last weekend. My bridesmaids organised it for me and I knew nothing about it. Probably just as well given that almost everything they had planned had to change at the last minute…
2 weeks before the restaurant we were going to for tea burnt down and they had to change that. Then they couldn’t get any contact from the villa we were staying in. Eventually got a phone call the Monday before to say the boiler had burst and the place was flooded. So with 4 days notice they found the most amazing and beautiful place to stay, and organised a hot tub.
The same day they were trying to sort the accommodation my granny died so they had to reorganise things to ‘tone it down’ a bit. They were wonderful and kept telling me I could back out of anything if I didn’t feel up to it. They looked after my wee sister too.
Then, on the Saturday we were meant to do a treasure hunt on the river which was cancelled when we got there as the water was too high. So with 20minutes notice the rearranged again and we did pottery painting.
I had a fab weekend, just what the doctor ordered after a pretty rubbish week, and if they hadn’t told me I wouldn’t have known about any of the problems.
Now I want to do it all again though…
Nic
I haven’t given one moment’s thought to my hen do – I have just left it to my ten bridesmaids to plot and plan away. I trust them all so I’m not too worried.
I think there will probably be two because of some logistical issues with 3 of my bridesmaids living overseas, but the more the merrier, right?
I’m mildly stressy about my hen do actually – I don’t enjoy logistics or planning in the slightest so I’m hoping my girls will step up to the plate! So far we’ve found a metal/burlesque club night that looks immense, so maybe preceded by a nice dinner that would be good. I’m really conscious of not stretching the budget – when it’s semi-obligatory things like hen dos, it starts feeling like spending other peoples’ money for them. The other half’s sister is getting hitched next month (engaged after us but married before, grrrr!) and had a rather flash spa weekend for her hen – I was invited but, like JoL, couldn’t justify over £400 for the weekend when we’ve got our own wedding to pay for. I feel quite bad about it actually!
@LadyFushia – thank you, I thought I was the only one! I hate the whole tacky element and have struggled to enjoy other people’s hens at the best of times. Plus I hate being the centre of attention , and really couldn’t afford it.
I’m getting so much grief from my friends though, I feel like a right sad sack!
I’m getting married one month tomorrow and my ‘official’ hen party is two weeks before the wedding. I’m going for dinner and karaoke. However, not satisfied with that, my wonderful maid of honour and my closest friends (there are 7 of us altogether), organised a surprise hen party for me! They ambushed me on a train wearing masks with my fiance’s face, then they took me out for a full-on hen night out. As if that wasn’t enough, the next day I discovered that they had hired a hot tub and decorated my friend’s garden so it looked like the Caribbean! And, on top of that, a Butler in the Buff turned up later that evening to serve us cocktails in the tub. It was amazing. It definitely wasn’t something I would have organised, but I think they know me better than I know myself. I had a fantastic weekend and feel very lucky to have such wonderful girl friends!
@Parky – We got tons of grief from people when we said we weren’t having hen/stag do….until the wedding and then somehow everyone forgot all about it. Our best man gave hubby the most grief I think as he was planning on getting his own back for his stag do – one more reason why hubby didn’t want a stag do! lol. Stick to your guns, if you don’t want one, don’t feel pressured to have one, it really isn’t the be all and end all
xx
Lynsey, Karen & Annie – thanks ladies, I’m VERY excited about it Glasgow has the most amazing vibe I really cant wait now!!!
I have just got back from my very close friend Lucys hen, one of my housemates at uni and very dear friend – I experienced one of the best events I have ever been to – Candle light club in the big smoke, anyone else been??? Its a secret location disclosed near to the time of the event, its 1920′s, it was in an old disused warehouse all lit purely by candles, its was like stepping into a time warp! The ladies had the most amazing vintage outfits, flapper dress’s sequins & feathers, long gloves and EVERYTHING, the boys were in full outfits too everyone looked amazing. There was a live Charleston band and everyone was doing all the proper dancing I LOVED it you have to look into it if you love 1920′s you will not regret it.
Lucy had her hair done at the salon and looked gorgeous – 2 weeks til her amazing wedding and I cannot wait to see her.
BIG flapper love
Vix
OMG – Gemma Green what amazing friends AHHHHHHHH that really made me smile!!
xx
Peridot – I’m right there with you, my list is EXACTLY the same as yours.
xxx
I came back from my hen do last weekend, and I’m glad to say it was unbelievably immense! 21 of us went to Portugal for the weekend, and although Id said I didn’t want anything tacky, my friends completely ignored me – and I’m so glad they did. Veil, L plates, inflatable boys bits and a t shirt with a rather suggestive picture of me against something obscene was my worst nightmare but the reality was that after champagne at the airport, cocktails by the pool and countless g and t’s at our hotel bar I wore my tacky gear with pride. Even better my mum and future mother in law did too – and I’d spent weeks worrying they wouldn’t get into the spirit of things. The funniest thing was a blow up man doll with a picture of my hubby to be’s face on it – he came everywhere with us. Never laughed so much in my life, and now I’m looking forward to our wedding more than ever
My hen do was fab and cheap as chips – had we not gone down the DIY route fewer people would have come. We stayed in the YMCA and my amazing maids put together a craft party rather than paying someone else loads to provide it – they watched YouTube tutorials, bought arts and crafts materials, baked cupcakes and set it all up in a room they hired in a local museum for £20 (it was an industrial heritage museum – had the most confusing ten minutes of my life waiting outside and wondering what on earth we were doing there, so nice foil). Then we went out for dinner and drinks and did an epic Mr & Mrs quiz.
Some friends who couldn’t make the main one are throwing me a second mini hen, just something at someone’s house, am excited to be spinning out the pre-wedding excitement. Fiance is having a mini stag with the boys and we’re all meeting up later in the night.
His actual main stag is a week before the wedding, lord help us.
Hi girls..this is great advice!! Never force a stripper on to an unsuspecting hen if you know she will hate it!! If any of your lovely readers need a hand organising their hen weekend then please do get in touch-we have great offers, loads of experience and can usually offer a free place for the hen too! Basically all you chief bridesmaids who have been given the challenge can let us do all the hard work for you and take all the credit!
You’ll just need to work out how to confiscate all the plastic willies and L plates if needs be…xx
I’m not a massive drinker so don’t really enjoy boozy nights out that much…obviously getting old and boring!
I also couldn’t bear a stripper, so have quashed any chance of an experience like the one Charlotte described by going for a 2 night spa break at Champneys which is practically in the middle of nowhere!
Have to say that this would normally be out of the price range and wouldn’t have been able to have this if my aunty wasn’t the PA to the lady who owns Champneys and we didn’t have 50% off!