At Rock My Wedding, we are and have always been of the opinion that a wedding gift list is a fantastic tool for couples. If you asked anyone in our office if they'd have a gift list, you'd get a resounding YES! In fact, some of us who get to compile these features spend far too long looking at products wishing we could add them to a gift list (Le Creuset Calm Collection - I'm looking directly at you. Please call me back.) We're also blessed to have three incredible wedding gift list services on our Recommended suppliers list, too; PrezolaThe Wedding Shop, and The Wedding Present Company.

As you'll find from the myths we've busted below, there are a lot of misconceptions about gift lists. No, it's not rude to point your guests to things you would actually like. And no, you don't have to just choose crockery. But don't worry, we'll dive right in and give you all the clarity you need to make your own decision.

Do you need a wedding gift list? Get ready for some serious myth-busting!

Is having a wedding gift list a bit presumptuous?

As soon as your guests receive a beautifully penned invitation, you can bet your bottom dollar that once they get past the delight of being invited, they will move on to the following four thoughts. Accommodation, travel plans, outfits, and a gift. Most couples are happy to offer advice on accommodation or travel. But one surefire way to reduce guests' stress is to give them gifts to choose from. Enter the stage, a wedding gift list. If you've ever been faced with shopping for a wedding present without knowing what the couple actually wants, you'll understand that it can be daunting to say the very least. By having a gift list, your guests can breathe a sigh of relief, choose something they know you genuinely want and then get on with the next most difficult task... Their outfit.

We already live together, and have everything we need!

If you've lived together for a while, you may have a home full of all of the necessities. That shouldn't stop you from having a wedding gift list. Quite often, when starting out, you buy things that are great to start off with, but time wears away at them. This is a chance to refresh and upgrade your current belongings. Or buy that countertop trophy of a Kitchenaid you've always wanted. It's not just about what you 'need', but what you'd 'love'. Interests and hobbies can help shape your gift list too. Your list can be a collection of all the things that reflect you as a couple. Did you know you can add gourmet food and wines to your gift list too? Or if you've made lifestyle changes and want your belongings to reflect your new focus on long-lasting, sustainable homeware, now's your chance.

It's not very environmentally responsible to ask for more stuff, is it?

Consumerism does have a part to play in the concerns we're all facing for our planet. But a wedding gift list can be your chance to choose more sustainable and ethically made products. That's not to say that you should throw out all of your current possessions to make way for new ones, but it's a way to live up to any lifestyle changes you've made to reduce your waste. If you're trying to ensure your home supports a vegan or cruelty-free lifestyle, your gift list can also be a good opportunity to upgrade. If the items you're replacing still have life in them, be sure to donate or recycle them appropriately.   

But I don't want my guests buying me anything I don't want?

We've recently encountered the misconception that wedding gift lists mean that your guests can choose any item from the service or department store for you. Imagine ending up with 12 photo frames! Thankfully, this is not the case. Having a gift list allows you to effectively have a shopping spree by compiling a list of exactly what and how many of each thing you would like. Then the list of things and experiences you've chosen is given to your guests to choose from. Most modern gift list services will allow you to fill your list with a mixture of anything you want. Some products, some charity, some honeymoon, and some cash contributions. Then your guests have the freedom to choose from those things you've specified. This ensures you only receive the things you truly would like, but it also gives you a hybrid list with an option for every guest.

Not sure which gift list is for you?

Lucky for you we have an unbiased comparison post where we review gift lists... along with a handy chart so you can easily see who does what and decide which is the best gift list for you.

see the comparison post

We just want our guests to have a good time, they don't have to give us anything!

Many couples will say that they don't want any gifts and that the presence of their guests is enough. But most couples would also agree that they would never dream of attending a wedding without bringing a gift. It's a dichotomy. And one that often results in the couple who didn't want any gifts being faced with clearing a table on their wedding day for guests turning up with beautifully wrapped parcels. Or nervously handing over precious envelopes to members of the wedding party in the hope they won't be lost amidst the celebrations. If you don't plan for and allow your guests to bring kind gifts, you will have to deal with it on the day anyway.  

I don't know how much my guests would want to give, so how many items would I put on my wedding gift list?

Gift lists have evolved far past wandering around a department store with a barcode scanner. You can create your list from your phone in most cases. And many now also have a feature called group gifting. This means you can literally put a sofa on your gift list and your guests can choose to contribute a small amount towards it. You can also add lots of smaller ticket items you might like. This allows your guests to help you buy anything you want. This also takes the pressure off them to hurry onto your list before all of the affordable options are taken. Everyone can relax knowing that there is an option available for any budget.

Wedding planning is already hectic. I don't want another thing to do!

Which would you rather do? Sit down and go over how to make the guest list fit again or go on a virtual shopping spree with your other half, filling up a wish list full of things you would absolutely love? Creating a gift list is arguably one of the most fun and enjoyable pieces of wedmin there is. Consider it a break from the to-do's, whilst actually doing something productive together. You're also avoiding the onslaught of responding to texts asking "I'd love to get you something you really need, any ideas?".  

What if we change our minds, and we're stuck with things we don't want?

Gift list services really have thought of everything. Some wedding gift list services will allow you to swap and switch about your products before confirming your order. So you needn't be shy when creating your list. It's very flexible. If being able to make swaps is a concern, just make sure you choose one of the gift list services that allow that.

So gift lists are free? What's the catch?

Most gift list options are free for the couple. You can find out more about the ins and outs of each gift list service in this post. Essentially, the gift list companies received a commission directly from product suppliers. The cost isn't passed on to you, and the prices for the products remain the same. Usually, a fee applies for either the couple or the guests when contributing cash, but it's generally no higher than 2%, meaning if a guest gifts you £50, they will pay £51 to cover the 2% charge. For some gift lists, this charge is taken from the couple's total balance of cash or honeymoon contributions before the funds are released.

Have we convinced you of the many merits of getting a wedding gift list?

Gift list goodness - completed it mate. Hopefully, we've successfully managed to show you the brilliance of getting a gift list. If you're still on the fence, maybe our wedding gift list edit by the Rock My Wedding team will help. Some of the items chosen are just beyond gorgeous. Not sure at what point in your planning journey you should think about a gift list? Then our wedding planning timeline is sure to be of assistance there.

Naomi Liddell

Written by Naomi Liddell

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